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levtolstoy's review
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.0
I loved this story. I could relate to most of Ben's feelings and sometimes it made their anxiety flare-ups all to real. Ben's and Hannah's relationship was very interesting to follow. But I think that there could've been more on their relationship with their parents. All in all a good book.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cursing, Homophobia, and Transphobia
Moderate: Domestic abuse
icarusandthesun's review
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.0
a pretty decent book—sweet, a bit emotional, inspiring, bursting with positive representation.
but a couple of things still kept me from rating it a 5. the characters were wholesome and all, but i thought the main character ben could be a bit hopeless and slightly annoying at times. i understand their struggles and the desire to push people away sometimes, but some of their actions and thoughts didn't seem fair at all and i found myself feeling sorry for the people around them. sometimes i even wondered why everyone was trying so hard to be their friend, because if it wasn't for their hobbies and trauma, there'd be nothing interesting about them.
all the funny banter involved mostly other people cracking jokes and them just taking it.
they also constantly expect support from their friends without actually supporting them in return (especially mariam).
the book was also very slow and i feel like many of the long scenes were not exactly necessary, rather tedious and boring.
i like that the romance was generally very slow-burn, but the early flirting and holding hands caught me off guard a bit.
i enjoyed the portrayal of mental health issues though and thought that ben was overall quite relatable. if this just didn't feel so much like a self-help book with ben complaining and everyone trying to console them....
but a couple of things still kept me from rating it a 5. the characters were wholesome and all, but i thought the main character ben could be a bit hopeless and slightly annoying at times. i understand their struggles and the desire to push people away sometimes, but some of their actions and thoughts didn't seem fair at all and i found myself feeling sorry for the people around them. sometimes i even wondered why everyone was trying so hard to be their friend, because if it wasn't for their hobbies and trauma, there'd be nothing interesting about them.
all the funny banter involved mostly other people cracking jokes and them just taking it.
they also constantly expect support from their friends without actually supporting them in return (especially mariam).
the book was also very slow and i feel like many of the long scenes were not exactly necessary, rather tedious and boring.
i like that the romance was generally very slow-burn, but the early flirting and holding hands caught me off guard a bit.
i enjoyed the portrayal of mental health issues though and thought that ben was overall quite relatable. if this just didn't feel so much like a self-help book with ben complaining and everyone trying to console them....
Content Warnings
Graphic: Transphobia, Outing, Mental illness, and Panic attacks/disorders
Moderate: Dysphoria and Emotional abuse
Minor: Child abuse, Alcohol, Cursing, Homophobia, and Physical abuse
lyd41's review
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.75
Dialogue was terribly written and insufferable to read and also very out of character at times but I still liked the premise of the book. Plot was fun. Although cheesy
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Cursing, Emotional abuse, Panic attacks/disorders, Grief, Physical abuse, Pregnancy, Homophobia, Mental illness, Outing, Abandonment, Alcohol, Gaslighting, Religious bigotry, and Suicidal thoughts
kjn1329's review
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Alcoholism, Cursing, Homophobia, Transphobia, Abandonment, Alcohol, Gaslighting, and Biphobia
therensistance's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia, Transphobia, Panic attacks/disorders, Child abuse, Dysphoria, and Mental illness
Moderate: Alcohol, Cursing, and Religious bigotry
longlost's review
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
this book. this book. this book. if anyone ever tells me representation isn't important again i'm going to hit them with this book.
a published book with a nonbinary character ?? a MAIN character ?? who talks about their experiences with gender identity ?? and who also has a storyline outside their gender identity ?? written BY a nonbinary person ?? absolutely incredible. i cant describe how much this book meant to me as a nonbinary person.
as someone who's dealt with anxiety and depression and with a parent who would likely be unsupportive, so many parts of this book felt like they were peeking into my life. it meant so much to me to read a story where ben, a nonbinary character, succeeded and was happy. the book had its heavy moments, addressing ben and hannah's abuse from their parents and ben's fears of coming out after their first attempt was so traumatic. i adored the characters - nathan was so enjoyable to read about and i loved his relationship with ben and how it developed throughout the book (he was so determined to be ben's friend like !!!!! istg reading any part of the book that involved him made me so emotional bc he was just. SO KIND.) and mariam !! mariam my beloved !!!!!! my experience with coming to terms with my gender identity was very much supported by my online friends, so seeing mariam play such a supportive role to a fellow nonbinary kid was so heartwarming, and when they and ben got to properly meet in ben's town i could not have been happier. meleika and sophie were so sweet (meleika offering to pain ben's nails <333 absolutely blessed) and ben's complicated relationship with hannah was, while painful to read about, developed so realistically and i appreciate that despite their estrangement (even if the circumstances weren't either of their faults) hannah was there for ben in an instant. plus a good therapist ?? in MY queer book ????? as ben deserves. their struggle with their mental health was also very relatable to me, and how mason deaver addressed it in the text felt so authentic and caring. all-in-all a flawless book, 100/10, thank you mason deaver for this absolute masterpiece you are a hero of the ages <3
a published book with a nonbinary character ?? a MAIN character ?? who talks about their experiences with gender identity ?? and who also has a storyline outside their gender identity ?? written BY a nonbinary person ?? absolutely incredible. i cant describe how much this book meant to me as a nonbinary person.
as someone who's dealt with anxiety and depression and with a parent who would likely be unsupportive, so many parts of this book felt like they were peeking into my life. it meant so much to me to read a story where ben, a nonbinary character, succeeded and was happy. the book had its heavy moments, addressing ben and hannah's abuse from their parents and ben's fears of coming out after their first attempt was so traumatic. i adored the characters - nathan was so enjoyable to read about and i loved his relationship with ben and how it developed throughout the book (he was so determined to be ben's friend like !!!!! istg reading any part of the book that involved him made me so emotional bc he was just. SO KIND.) and mariam !! mariam my beloved !!!!!! my experience with coming to terms with my gender identity was very much supported by my online friends, so seeing mariam play such a supportive role to a fellow nonbinary kid was so heartwarming, and when they and ben got to properly meet in ben's town i could not have been happier. meleika and sophie were so sweet (meleika offering to pain ben's nails <333 absolutely blessed) and ben's complicated relationship with hannah was, while painful to read about, developed so realistically and i appreciate that despite their estrangement (even if the circumstances weren't either of their faults) hannah was there for ben in an instant. plus a good therapist ?? in MY queer book ????? as ben deserves. their struggle with their mental health was also very relatable to me, and how mason deaver addressed it in the text felt so authentic and caring. all-in-all a flawless book, 100/10, thank you mason deaver for this absolute masterpiece you are a hero of the ages <3
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Homophobia, Panic attacks/disorders, Transphobia, Mental illness, and Abandonment
Moderate: Alcohol, Cursing, and Religious bigotry
Minor: Physical abuse and Vomit
GRAPHIC: Abandonment: The first chapter shows us Ben's attempt to come out as nonbinary, and the rest of the book covers their story after being kicked out of their home. Child abuse: Ben's parents are shown to be emotionally abusive to them in multiple scenes, along with Hannah revealing later that their father hit her shortly before she left the house. Emotional abuse: Ben's parents are emotionally abusive on multiple occasions - there are two places in the book where they corner Ben in a public place so that they will be less confident speaking up against their demands and abuse. Gaslighting: Ben's parents minimize their abusive behaviour to them. Homophobia / transphobia: Ben's parents make transphobic and homophobic comments multiple times throughout the book, along with kicking Ben out of the house when they come out as nonbinary. Mental illness: The book has a spotlight on Ben's struggles with anxiety and depression, which worsen after they are kicked out of the house. Panic attacks/disorders: Ben has multiple panic attacks over the course of the book. MODERATE: Alcohol: In one scene at a party Ben is pressured into drinking alcohol. Cursing: Characters swear occasionally throughout the book. Religious bigotry: Ben's mother uses their religion as justification for why they can't be nonbinary. MINOR: Physical abuse: Near the end of the book Hannah recount how their father hit her shortly before she left the house. Vomit: After drinking alcohol at a party, Ben throws up outside.saturn26's review
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
relaxing
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Dysphoria, Transphobia, Homophobia, Abandonment, Deadnaming, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, and Panic attacks/disorders
Moderate: Child abuse, Cursing, and Gaslighting
Minor: Physical abuse
c_ab_bage's review
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
#nathancanyoupleasebemyplatonicsoulmatebecauseiloveyousofuckingmuchomgyouretheliteralsweetestbemyfriend
anyways-
anyways-
Content Warnings
Graphic: Abandonment, Dysphoria, Homophobia, and Panic attacks/disorders
Moderate: Cursing and Grief
Minor: Alcohol, Bullying, Child abuse, Islamophobia, and Transphobia
lwoodley14's review
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.0
UGH <33
First of all, Nathan has my MF HEART <333 Whatta sweetie pie. Also, I love Thomas and Hannah ugh. Second, I loved this story. It reminded me of Symptoms of Being a Human because it also centers around a young nonbinary high schooler and ended in both of them engaging in inspirational speeches. Overall, this story was heartbreakingly realistic. Starting from the beginning with the queerphobic parents kicking Ben out of their house to the chest-crushing anxiety that Ben experiences to the back-and-forth with Ben's sexuality that was confusing as hell for them. Regardless, I think this story was really sweet and I'm so glad that Ben realized their worth regarding their relationship with their parents. I think it's an unfortunate yet very real realization that many queer people are forced to have with homophobic/unaccepting family/friends. I also loved that it showed the importance of found family, with Nathan, Mariam, Meleika and Sophie (and technically Hannah and Thomas, although they are family members too) and the love that comes out of it.
The one comment I have (idk if this is really that negative?) is that a lot of the dialogue was not separated from the paragraph. Basically, within the same paragraph, a dialogue line would be directly followed by inner thoughts, which would have been fine; however, the inner thoughts sounded like they flowed straight from the actual dialogue, so I would often find myself thinking that the characters said all of those thoughts instead of just the one line. IDK if this makes any sense, and again, it's not really negative, it just made me reread quite a few paragraphs.
Again, this book was really sweet in the end, and the depictions of anxiety/panic attacks were written so well! While some may have craved more romance, I kinda liked that this story focused mainly on Ben's personal journey with their own identity and relationships. I think it's a great read for anyone, but especially people struggling with the same issues.
Would read again? Yeah
First of all, Nathan has my MF HEART <333 Whatta sweetie pie. Also, I love Thomas and Hannah ugh. Second, I loved this story. It reminded me of Symptoms of Being a Human because it also centers around a young nonbinary high schooler and ended in both of them engaging in inspirational speeches. Overall, this story was heartbreakingly realistic. Starting from the beginning with the queerphobic parents kicking Ben out of their house to the chest-crushing anxiety that Ben experiences to the back-and-forth with Ben's sexuality that was confusing as hell for them. Regardless, I think this story was really sweet and I'm so glad that Ben realized their worth regarding their relationship with their parents. I think it's an unfortunate yet very real realization that many queer people are forced to have with homophobic/unaccepting family/friends. I also loved that it showed the importance of found family, with Nathan, Mariam, Meleika and Sophie (and technically Hannah and Thomas, although they are family members too) and the love that comes out of it.
The one comment I have (idk if this is really that negative?) is that a lot of the dialogue was not separated from the paragraph. Basically, within the same paragraph, a dialogue line would be directly followed by inner thoughts, which would have been fine; however, the inner thoughts sounded like they flowed straight from the actual dialogue, so I would often find myself thinking that the characters said all of those thoughts instead of just the one line. IDK if this makes any sense, and again, it's not really negative, it just made me reread quite a few paragraphs.
Again, this book was really sweet in the end, and the depictions of anxiety/panic attacks were written so well! While some may have craved more romance, I kinda liked that this story focused mainly on Ben's personal journey with their own identity and relationships. I think it's a great read for anyone, but especially people struggling with the same issues.
Would read again? Yeah
Content Warnings
Moderate: Mental illness, Transphobia, Homophobia, and Gaslighting
Minor: Cursing
leahlovesloslibros's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
When Ben comes out to their parents as non-binary, their worse nightmare comes true: their parents don't accept them. To make things worse, their parents kick them out of the house, immediately, forcing them to go move in with their estranged sister, Hannah, and her husband, whom they have never even met. While most students don't find high school easy, there is an added level of difficulty when you transfer to a new school with only the second semester of senior year remaining, especially when no one knows you are nonbinary so you are constantly triggered by their [unintentional] misgendering. When Ben meets Nathan, the cute boy who has been assigned to show them around, they can't help but feel a bit of a crush for him. But Nathan couldn't possibly be interested in Ben, right...?
This is a hard story of coming out. While some individuals are lucky enough to be accepted by their loved ones, Ben's story is not the same. When they go to live with their sister and her husband, they begrudgingly agree to go to therapy, which may or may not actually be helpful for them. The discussion of mental health, including panic attacks, depression, and anxiety, may be triggering for some, but it is something that is very real to many people, both within the queer community and outside of it. In my opinion, Mason Deaver did a thorough job navigating through the intricacies of being in therapy.
Ben's relationships with their friends, both online and at their new school, presented some complications, both for the characters and for myself as a reader. First off, their best friend lives across the country, which makes it hard for them both to communicate at times. When Ben makes friends at their new school, they feel like they can't be their full self since they are hiding a huge part of who they are (being non-binary). Even through these complications, their friends show up for them, and do their best to make Ben feel loved and included. Deaver wrote the teen narrative in a convincing way, although I wish there would have been a bit more depth to the side characters.
Perhaps the most difficult thing that Ben struggles with, though, is dealing with their parents' disapproval. After they were kicked out of their house, they didn't know what that meant for their relationship with their parents. While part of Ben missed their parents and desperately yearned for their acceptance, another part of them couldn't imagine still loving them or even being in their lives, knowing that they didn't reciprocate that unconditional love. This complex situation presented Ben with many conflicting feelings throughout the book.
There is much to be learned about being non-binary, no matter how much you already know. The fact that this book was written by a non-binary author makes it that much more alluring because we can see some of the struggles that non-binary individuals face through the eyes of an own voices author. That said, remember that everyone's story is different, so just reading one book will not give you all of the information that you need to know.
While I mostly enjoyed this book, and it was definitely a quick read, there were some things left to be desired, especially regarding the relationships between Ben and some of their friends.
Rep: Non-binary MC, BIPOC SC
This is a hard story of coming out. While some individuals are lucky enough to be accepted by their loved ones, Ben's story is not the same. When they go to live with their sister and her husband, they begrudgingly agree to go to therapy, which may or may not actually be helpful for them. The discussion of mental health, including panic attacks, depression, and anxiety, may be triggering for some, but it is something that is very real to many people, both within the queer community and outside of it. In my opinion, Mason Deaver did a thorough job navigating through the intricacies of being in therapy.
Ben's relationships with their friends, both online and at their new school, presented some complications, both for the characters and for myself as a reader. First off, their best friend lives across the country, which makes it hard for them both to communicate at times. When Ben makes friends at their new school, they feel like they can't be their full self since they are hiding a huge part of who they are (being non-binary). Even through these complications, their friends show up for them, and do their best to make Ben feel loved and included. Deaver wrote the teen narrative in a convincing way, although I wish there would have been a bit more depth to the side characters.
Perhaps the most difficult thing that Ben struggles with, though, is dealing with their parents' disapproval. After they were kicked out of their house, they didn't know what that meant for their relationship with their parents. While part of Ben missed their parents and desperately yearned for their acceptance, another part of them couldn't imagine still loving them or even being in their lives, knowing that they didn't reciprocate that unconditional love. This complex situation presented Ben with many conflicting feelings throughout the book.
There is much to be learned about being non-binary, no matter how much you already know. The fact that this book was written by a non-binary author makes it that much more alluring because we can see some of the struggles that non-binary individuals face through the eyes of an own voices author. That said, remember that everyone's story is different, so just reading one book will not give you all of the information that you need to know.
While I mostly enjoyed this book, and it was definitely a quick read, there were some things left to be desired, especially regarding the relationships between Ben and some of their friends.
Rep: Non-binary MC, BIPOC SC
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cursing and Panic attacks/disorders
Moderate: Alcohol
Minor: Child abuse, Drug use, and Sexual content
Additional TW/CW: parents kicking child out because of lifestyle, misgendering, smoking reference, depression/anxiety, underage drinking, Harry Potter references