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sky_lar's review
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? N/A
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Panic attacks/disorders and Transphobia
Moderate: Homophobia, Stalking, Gaslighting, and Mental illness
Minor: Alcohol, Drug use, Child abuse, Physical abuse, and Emotional abuse
emily_mh's review
emotional
hopeful
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.25
I don't know how to rate and review this, but here goes. The mental health rep here was handled really well. It portrayed anxiety and depression realistically; meds didn't work perfectly, Ben initially had an aversion to both therapy and medication, and their recovery wasn't linear. I also thought the nuance that Deaver brought to Ben and Hannah's relationship was good. I appreciated that they showed how Hannah wasn't necessarily in the wrong, but Ben could still be hurt by her actions. There wasn't much plot, but I still enjoyed reading it because it was super cathartic seeing Ben start to heal. I think they come a long way by the end of the book.
On the other hand, I think some other rep and information was not done well. For example, I really wish Nathan had been fleshed out as a character. It kind of felt like Deaver took the stereotypical "golden retriever" LI archetype and left it at that, giving him no motivations or desires unrelated to Ben. While it was obvious Ben and Nathan had a connection, one I was rooting for, it still felt like I barely knew Nathan. This is the book's biggest issue, because I think it is an example of the situation that readers and reviewers of the global majority have been pointing out for ages, where white authors write a LI of the global majority whose only purpose in the book is to assist the white MC in their development. If I am wrong here or out of my lane, I will fully delete this review. I wanted to flag it in case I wasn't.
On top of this, the book presents some misinformation about being gay, ace, and aro. It implies that a nonbinary person like Ben cannot be gay because being gay is about being attracted to the same gender, and as Ben doesn't have a gender, they cannot experience same-gender attraction. In reality, being gay is simply about non-women being attracted to non-women. This is the quote I am referring to:
"And besides, I don’t exactly have a gender, and being gay implies being interested in the same gender."
It also implies that to be ace or aro is to be touch averse, when only some aces and aros are touch averse - it's this very piece of misinformation that means so many aces and aros don't realise they are asexual or aromantic for ages. Literally a simple "some" in this sentence would have fixed this misinformation:
“'Touch aversion can be common in people who deal with panic attacks, or people dealing with anxiety. In fact, there are some people who are just born or develop that way, like asexual or aromantic people.'”
So, yeah. Do with this what you will.
Rep: bisexual NB MC, bisexual LI of the global majority (ethnicity not explicitly stated), Bahraini Shia Muslim pansexual NB SC, Chinese-American SC, SC of the global majority (Ben's therapist Dr. Taylor, whose ethnicity is also not explicitly stated), Black SC (implied, ethnicity not explicitly stated), Korean-American SC with ADHD
On the other hand, I think some other rep and information was not done well. For example, I really wish Nathan had been fleshed out as a character. It kind of felt like Deaver took the stereotypical "golden retriever" LI archetype and left it at that, giving him no motivations or desires unrelated to Ben. While it was obvious Ben and Nathan had a connection, one I was rooting for, it still felt like I barely knew Nathan. This is the book's biggest issue, because I think it is an example of the situation that readers and reviewers of the global majority have been pointing out for ages, where white authors write a LI of the global majority whose only purpose in the book is to assist the white MC in their development. If I am wrong here or out of my lane, I will fully delete this review. I wanted to flag it in case I wasn't.
On top of this, the book presents some misinformation about being gay, ace, and aro. It implies that a nonbinary person like Ben cannot be gay because being gay is about being attracted to the same gender, and as Ben doesn't have a gender, they cannot experience same-gender attraction. In reality, being gay is simply about non-women being attracted to non-women. This is the quote I am referring to:
"And besides, I don’t exactly have a gender, and being gay implies being interested in the same gender."
It also implies that to be ace or aro is to be touch averse, when only some aces and aros are touch averse - it's this very piece of misinformation that means so many aces and aros don't realise they are asexual or aromantic for ages. Literally a simple "some" in this sentence would have fixed this misinformation:
“'Touch aversion can be common in people who deal with panic attacks, or people dealing with anxiety. In fact, there are some people who are just born or develop that way, like asexual or aromantic people.'”
So, yeah. Do with this what you will.
Rep: bisexual NB MC, bisexual LI of the global majority (ethnicity not explicitly stated), Bahraini Shia Muslim pansexual NB SC, Chinese-American SC, SC of the global majority (Ben's therapist Dr. Taylor, whose ethnicity is also not explicitly stated), Black SC (implied, ethnicity not explicitly stated), Korean-American SC with ADHD
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, and Transphobia
Moderate: Abandonment and Cursing
Minor: Ableism, Alcohol, Death, Physical abuse, Drug use, Medical content, Misogyny, Outing, Pregnancy, Sexual content, Domestic abuse, Injury/Injury detail, Islamophobia, Sexual assault, Homophobia, Suicidal thoughts, and Vomit
Major: disownment, misgendering (mostly uninformed as Ben isn't out to most people) Moderate: body dysmorphia Minor: one implied use of the transphobic t-slur, suicidal ideation, off-page use of the homophobic f-slur, 1 HP reference, menstruationfoxowl2005's review
emotional
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Transphobia, Homophobia, Child abuse, and Emotional abuse
Moderate: Drug use
Minor: Physical abuse
leahlovesloslibros's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
When Ben comes out to their parents as non-binary, their worse nightmare comes true: their parents don't accept them. To make things worse, their parents kick them out of the house, immediately, forcing them to go move in with their estranged sister, Hannah, and her husband, whom they have never even met. While most students don't find high school easy, there is an added level of difficulty when you transfer to a new school with only the second semester of senior year remaining, especially when no one knows you are nonbinary so you are constantly triggered by their [unintentional] misgendering. When Ben meets Nathan, the cute boy who has been assigned to show them around, they can't help but feel a bit of a crush for him. But Nathan couldn't possibly be interested in Ben, right...?
This is a hard story of coming out. While some individuals are lucky enough to be accepted by their loved ones, Ben's story is not the same. When they go to live with their sister and her husband, they begrudgingly agree to go to therapy, which may or may not actually be helpful for them. The discussion of mental health, including panic attacks, depression, and anxiety, may be triggering for some, but it is something that is very real to many people, both within the queer community and outside of it. In my opinion, Mason Deaver did a thorough job navigating through the intricacies of being in therapy.
Ben's relationships with their friends, both online and at their new school, presented some complications, both for the characters and for myself as a reader. First off, their best friend lives across the country, which makes it hard for them both to communicate at times. When Ben makes friends at their new school, they feel like they can't be their full self since they are hiding a huge part of who they are (being non-binary). Even through these complications, their friends show up for them, and do their best to make Ben feel loved and included. Deaver wrote the teen narrative in a convincing way, although I wish there would have been a bit more depth to the side characters.
Perhaps the most difficult thing that Ben struggles with, though, is dealing with their parents' disapproval. After they were kicked out of their house, they didn't know what that meant for their relationship with their parents. While part of Ben missed their parents and desperately yearned for their acceptance, another part of them couldn't imagine still loving them or even being in their lives, knowing that they didn't reciprocate that unconditional love. This complex situation presented Ben with many conflicting feelings throughout the book.
There is much to be learned about being non-binary, no matter how much you already know. The fact that this book was written by a non-binary author makes it that much more alluring because we can see some of the struggles that non-binary individuals face through the eyes of an own voices author. That said, remember that everyone's story is different, so just reading one book will not give you all of the information that you need to know.
While I mostly enjoyed this book, and it was definitely a quick read, there were some things left to be desired, especially regarding the relationships between Ben and some of their friends.
Rep: Non-binary MC, BIPOC SC
This is a hard story of coming out. While some individuals are lucky enough to be accepted by their loved ones, Ben's story is not the same. When they go to live with their sister and her husband, they begrudgingly agree to go to therapy, which may or may not actually be helpful for them. The discussion of mental health, including panic attacks, depression, and anxiety, may be triggering for some, but it is something that is very real to many people, both within the queer community and outside of it. In my opinion, Mason Deaver did a thorough job navigating through the intricacies of being in therapy.
Ben's relationships with their friends, both online and at their new school, presented some complications, both for the characters and for myself as a reader. First off, their best friend lives across the country, which makes it hard for them both to communicate at times. When Ben makes friends at their new school, they feel like they can't be their full self since they are hiding a huge part of who they are (being non-binary). Even through these complications, their friends show up for them, and do their best to make Ben feel loved and included. Deaver wrote the teen narrative in a convincing way, although I wish there would have been a bit more depth to the side characters.
Perhaps the most difficult thing that Ben struggles with, though, is dealing with their parents' disapproval. After they were kicked out of their house, they didn't know what that meant for their relationship with their parents. While part of Ben missed their parents and desperately yearned for their acceptance, another part of them couldn't imagine still loving them or even being in their lives, knowing that they didn't reciprocate that unconditional love. This complex situation presented Ben with many conflicting feelings throughout the book.
There is much to be learned about being non-binary, no matter how much you already know. The fact that this book was written by a non-binary author makes it that much more alluring because we can see some of the struggles that non-binary individuals face through the eyes of an own voices author. That said, remember that everyone's story is different, so just reading one book will not give you all of the information that you need to know.
While I mostly enjoyed this book, and it was definitely a quick read, there were some things left to be desired, especially regarding the relationships between Ben and some of their friends.
Rep: Non-binary MC, BIPOC SC
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cursing and Panic attacks/disorders
Moderate: Alcohol
Minor: Child abuse, Drug use, and Sexual content
Additional TW/CW: parents kicking child out because of lifestyle, misgendering, smoking reference, depression/anxiety, underage drinking, Harry Potter referencesemweir's review
emotional
hopeful
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.25
Content Warnings
Graphic: Panic attacks/disorders, Transphobia, Abandonment, and Mental illness
Moderate: Deadnaming, Child abuse, and Gaslighting
Minor: Homophobia, Islamophobia, Alcohol, Blood, Drug use, and Physical abuse
lloublie's review
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Content Warnings
Minor: Drug use
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