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shelvesofivy's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
4.75
Ohhhhhh my goodness, this book ♡
It had been on my tbr for a few years and I'd known how beloved and cherished this book is, especially among other nonbinary people. Now I know firsthand how special this book is 💛🤍💜🖤
This book hits you hard right from the very start, continues to give sucker punches, but then also builds you back up. Ben's story will be forever cemented into my heart I think.
I fell in love with the cast of characters who loved and supported Ben through everything. Nathan especially had my heart as a fellow bookworm and Pride & Prejudice fan lol
It had been on my tbr for a few years and I'd known how beloved and cherished this book is, especially among other nonbinary people. Now I know firsthand how special this book is 💛🤍💜🖤
This book hits you hard right from the very start, continues to give sucker punches, but then also builds you back up. Ben's story will be forever cemented into my heart I think.
I fell in love with the cast of characters who loved and supported Ben through everything. Nathan especially had my heart as a fellow bookworm and Pride & Prejudice fan lol
Content Warnings
Graphic: Panic attacks/disorders, Dysphoria, Transphobia, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, and Mental illness
Moderate: Religious bigotry, Abandonment, Alcohol, Biphobia, and Cursing
Minor: Medical content and Suicidal thoughts
raquelrose's review
emotional
hopeful
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? N/A
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Panic attacks/disorders, Transphobia, Mental illness, Alcohol, Homophobia, Cursing, and Dysphoria
Moderate: Emotional abuse
Minor: Physical abuse, Child abuse, Misogyny, Domestic abuse, Religious bigotry, and Suicidal thoughts
demawenda's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
relaxing
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Świetnie się bawiłam przy tej książce, połowę przeczytałam jednym tchem i siedziałam po nocy by ją skończyć. Oczywiście książka typowa dla YA, szukanie siebie, szkolne życie, pierwsze miłostki, ale szczerze bardzo mi się podobała. Dobrze napisana, bogate słownictwo, humor trafiający w mój gust. Były też momenty na reflekje, smutek i łzy w oczach. Idealna mieszanka emocji, niczego za dużo, niczego za mało. Postacie nie nazbyt rozbudowane ale nie odczylam tego az tak bo nawet w realnym życiu nie wiemy o innych wszystkiego. Książka po prostu prawdziwa, jkazujaca dobre i złe strony życia, że nie wszystko jest cukierkowe i piękne.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia, Body shaming, Transphobia, Self harm, Deadnaming, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Religious bigotry, Suicidal thoughts, Dysphoria, and Eating disorder
rickireadss's review against another edition
4.25
this was heartbreaking but also it put my heart back together so nicely. i cried a lot while reading, especially the scenes between ben and their parents. their parents are absolute TRASH, and it hurt to see them mistreat ben. there is a romance subplot (and it made my heart very happy!!), but it’s not the main focus.
⚠️: transphobia, panic attacks/disorders, homophobia, emotional abuse, abandonment, child abuse, religious bigotry, disordered eating, grief, mental illness, dysphoria, suicidal thoughts
⚠️: transphobia, panic attacks/disorders, homophobia, emotional abuse, abandonment, child abuse, religious bigotry, disordered eating, grief, mental illness, dysphoria, suicidal thoughts
Content Warnings
Graphic: Grief, Religious bigotry, Panic attacks/disorders, Emotional abuse, Transphobia, and Homophobia
Moderate: Mental illness, Child abuse, Eating disorder, Suicidal thoughts, Abandonment, and Dysphoria
lydiabulmer's review
emotional
funny
lighthearted
reflective
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
check trigger warnings before you read this book !
This is my first read of the year and i could not put it down ! i read it in less than 48 hours. i love the diversity and complexity of the characters. i think the way Deaver has portrayed the main character Ben has helped you resonate with them more. i think the flaws of the character have become a main part of the story and the overall growth of ben themself and their feelings. i think this book is amazing, i would recommend to anyone in the LGBTQIAP+ community, it is also helpful for people trying to understand how to learn more about these things and how to respect people in different ways. i would recommend this to a lot of people. Mason Deaver is one of my new favourite writers, their work is amazing !
This is my first read of the year and i could not put it down ! i read it in less than 48 hours. i love the diversity and complexity of the characters. i think the way Deaver has portrayed the main character Ben has helped you resonate with them more. i think the flaws of the character have become a main part of the story and the overall growth of ben themself and their feelings. i think this book is amazing, i would recommend to anyone in the LGBTQIAP+ community, it is also helpful for people trying to understand how to learn more about these things and how to respect people in different ways. i would recommend this to a lot of people. Mason Deaver is one of my new favourite writers, their work is amazing !
Content Warnings
Graphic: Panic attacks/disorders, Mental illness, Homophobia, Transphobia, Suicidal thoughts, and Child abuse
Minor: Pregnancy
please check the content warnings ! ive tagged the majority of the content warnings on here !emily_mh's review
emotional
hopeful
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.25
I don't know how to rate and review this, but here goes. The mental health rep here was handled really well. It portrayed anxiety and depression realistically; meds didn't work perfectly, Ben initially had an aversion to both therapy and medication, and their recovery wasn't linear. I also thought the nuance that Deaver brought to Ben and Hannah's relationship was good. I appreciated that they showed how Hannah wasn't necessarily in the wrong, but Ben could still be hurt by her actions. There wasn't much plot, but I still enjoyed reading it because it was super cathartic seeing Ben start to heal. I think they come a long way by the end of the book.
On the other hand, I think some other rep and information was not done well. For example, I really wish Nathan had been fleshed out as a character. It kind of felt like Deaver took the stereotypical "golden retriever" LI archetype and left it at that, giving him no motivations or desires unrelated to Ben. While it was obvious Ben and Nathan had a connection, one I was rooting for, it still felt like I barely knew Nathan. This is the book's biggest issue, because I think it is an example of the situation that readers and reviewers of the global majority have been pointing out for ages, where white authors write a LI of the global majority whose only purpose in the book is to assist the white MC in their development. If I am wrong here or out of my lane, I will fully delete this review. I wanted to flag it in case I wasn't.
On top of this, the book presents some misinformation about being gay, ace, and aro. It implies that a nonbinary person like Ben cannot be gay because being gay is about being attracted to the same gender, and as Ben doesn't have a gender, they cannot experience same-gender attraction. In reality, being gay is simply about non-women being attracted to non-women. This is the quote I am referring to:
"And besides, I don’t exactly have a gender, and being gay implies being interested in the same gender."
It also implies that to be ace or aro is to be touch averse, when only some aces and aros are touch averse - it's this very piece of misinformation that means so many aces and aros don't realise they are asexual or aromantic for ages. Literally a simple "some" in this sentence would have fixed this misinformation:
“'Touch aversion can be common in people who deal with panic attacks, or people dealing with anxiety. In fact, there are some people who are just born or develop that way, like asexual or aromantic people.'”
So, yeah. Do with this what you will.
Rep: bisexual NB MC, bisexual LI of the global majority (ethnicity not explicitly stated), Bahraini Shia Muslim pansexual NB SC, Chinese-American SC, SC of the global majority (Ben's therapist Dr. Taylor, whose ethnicity is also not explicitly stated), Black SC (implied, ethnicity not explicitly stated), Korean-American SC with ADHD
On the other hand, I think some other rep and information was not done well. For example, I really wish Nathan had been fleshed out as a character. It kind of felt like Deaver took the stereotypical "golden retriever" LI archetype and left it at that, giving him no motivations or desires unrelated to Ben. While it was obvious Ben and Nathan had a connection, one I was rooting for, it still felt like I barely knew Nathan. This is the book's biggest issue, because I think it is an example of the situation that readers and reviewers of the global majority have been pointing out for ages, where white authors write a LI of the global majority whose only purpose in the book is to assist the white MC in their development. If I am wrong here or out of my lane, I will fully delete this review. I wanted to flag it in case I wasn't.
On top of this, the book presents some misinformation about being gay, ace, and aro. It implies that a nonbinary person like Ben cannot be gay because being gay is about being attracted to the same gender, and as Ben doesn't have a gender, they cannot experience same-gender attraction. In reality, being gay is simply about non-women being attracted to non-women. This is the quote I am referring to:
"And besides, I don’t exactly have a gender, and being gay implies being interested in the same gender."
It also implies that to be ace or aro is to be touch averse, when only some aces and aros are touch averse - it's this very piece of misinformation that means so many aces and aros don't realise they are asexual or aromantic for ages. Literally a simple "some" in this sentence would have fixed this misinformation:
“'Touch aversion can be common in people who deal with panic attacks, or people dealing with anxiety. In fact, there are some people who are just born or develop that way, like asexual or aromantic people.'”
So, yeah. Do with this what you will.
Rep: bisexual NB MC, bisexual LI of the global majority (ethnicity not explicitly stated), Bahraini Shia Muslim pansexual NB SC, Chinese-American SC, SC of the global majority (Ben's therapist Dr. Taylor, whose ethnicity is also not explicitly stated), Black SC (implied, ethnicity not explicitly stated), Korean-American SC with ADHD
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, and Transphobia
Moderate: Abandonment and Cursing
Minor: Ableism, Alcohol, Death, Physical abuse, Drug use, Medical content, Misogyny, Outing, Pregnancy, Sexual content, Domestic abuse, Injury/Injury detail, Islamophobia, Sexual assault, Homophobia, Suicidal thoughts, and Vomit
Major: disownment, misgendering (mostly uninformed as Ben isn't out to most people) Moderate: body dysmorphia Minor: one implied use of the transphobic t-slur, suicidal ideation, off-page use of the homophobic f-slur, 1 HP reference, menstruationpsliz's review
emotional
hopeful
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
as heart-wrenching as it is heartwarming, you really get lost in ben's journey. as for them and nathan, while there's no such thing as perfect, they’re pretty close. easy 5 star read.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Transphobia, Panic attacks/disorders, Homophobia, Mental illness, Child abuse, and Dysphoria
Moderate: Suicidal thoughts
Minor: Islamophobia, Alcohol, and Vomit
the_true_monroe's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcohol, Panic attacks/disorders, Transphobia, and Emotional abuse
Moderate: Suicidal thoughts and Homophobia
fernthatenby's review
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.25
everyone cries a lot
Content Warnings
Moderate: Panic attacks/disorders, Transphobia, Emotional abuse, and Eating disorder
Minor: Suicidal thoughts and Sexual harassment
kimschouwenaar's review against another edition
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
Please do look up the trigger warnings before diving into this. Deaver does deal with them very, very well, if I might say so.
Great queer-rep, BIPOC-characters, a neuro-divergent girl and an MC that is SO FUCKING RELATABLE. How could I rate this anything below 5 stars. All the characters, but especially Ben and Nathan, have my whole heart and I am this close to immediately rereading this one. It utterly deserves the free slot on my all-time-favs-shelf.
Great queer-rep, BIPOC-characters, a neuro-divergent girl and an MC that is SO FUCKING RELATABLE. How could I rate this anything below 5 stars. All the characters, but especially Ben and Nathan, have my whole heart and I am this close to immediately rereading this one. It utterly deserves the free slot on my all-time-favs-shelf.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Transphobia, Dysphoria, Homophobia, Suicidal thoughts, and Mental illness
On Goodreads, Deaver added a comment for all the content warnings in this book. In this comment you can find them as well, wrapped in between spoiler-tags for those not wanting to read all of them.