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xarson's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Transphobia, Panic attacks/disorders, Emotional abuse, Dysphoria, Religious bigotry, Mental illness, Abandonment, Domestic abuse, Violence, Homophobia, and Bullying
Moderate: Alcohol
Minor: Pregnancy and Islamophobia
bookishmillennial's review
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
disclaimer if you’ve read other reviews by me and are noticing a pattern: You’re correct that I don’t really give starred reviews, I hope my reviews provide enough information to let you know if a book is for you or not, regardless if I add stars or not. Find me on Instagram: @bookish.millennial or tiktok: @bookishmillennial
I thought this was a heavy but precious read about an 18-year-old senior year student who comes out to their parents as nonbinary. Mason explains that they needed this story when they were younger & I hope that young readers who may be questioning the road ahead in coming out to those they love find some hope and comfort in this book.
Are there challenging and heartbreaking parts of Benji’s journey? Absolutely, and I’m sure there’s still more to come as they grow up beyond the epilogue of this book (of what I’d imagine haha) but I really enjoyed this coming-of-age and reunited sibling story so much. I appreciated the representation of going to talk therapy, and normalizing medication, rather than demonizing and stigmatizing it.
Thank you for a lovely read and sweet characters who are trying their best, Mason!
I thought this was a heavy but precious read about an 18-year-old senior year student who comes out to their parents as nonbinary. Mason explains that they needed this story when they were younger & I hope that young readers who may be questioning the road ahead in coming out to those they love find some hope and comfort in this book.
Are there challenging and heartbreaking parts of Benji’s journey? Absolutely, and I’m sure there’s still more to come as they grow up beyond the epilogue of this book (of what I’d imagine haha) but I really enjoyed this coming-of-age and reunited sibling story so much. I appreciated the representation of going to talk therapy, and normalizing medication, rather than demonizing and stigmatizing it.
Thank you for a lovely read and sweet characters who are trying their best, Mason!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Abandonment, Child abuse, and Transphobia
Minor: Pregnancy
roxanned's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.25
Ben De Backer's story is necessary and important. It is also emotional and beautiful.
In this book important topicslike identity, sexuality, family, therapy, anxiety and how to recover from a terrible event are addressed respectfully and in a way everyone can understand them. It is about what it means to be nonbinary, people being different than expected and different types of love (among other things) .
I'm not nonbinary so it's not my place to say something about the quality of Ben's representation. The intentional imperfect portrait of their support system seems realistic though. Hannah, Thomas and Nathan are trying their best but also make mistakeswith pronouns and other gendered words . It is one of the possible situations that could happen in real life.
Deaver calls attention to things that make Ben uncomfortablelike gendered clothing, gendered toiletries, coming out , which shouldn't be an issue in modern society but they still are. Thus, the book invites reflection and discussion.
Overall a cute and meaningful story, that isn't romance heavy but has a lot to do with love.
In this book important topics
I'm not nonbinary so it's not my place to say something about the quality of Ben's representation. The intentional imperfect portrait of their support system seems realistic though. Hannah, Thomas and Nathan are trying their best but also make mistakes
Deaver calls attention to things that make Ben uncomfortable
Overall a cute and meaningful story, that isn't romance heavy but has a lot to do with love.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Transphobia, Abandonment, Homophobia, and Panic attacks/disorders
Moderate: Alcohol, Dysphoria, Gaslighting, Mental illness, and Emotional abuse
Minor: Pregnancy, Outing, Body shaming, and Eating disorder
lydiabulmer's review
emotional
funny
lighthearted
reflective
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
check trigger warnings before you read this book !
This is my first read of the year and i could not put it down ! i read it in less than 48 hours. i love the diversity and complexity of the characters. i think the way Deaver has portrayed the main character Ben has helped you resonate with them more. i think the flaws of the character have become a main part of the story and the overall growth of ben themself and their feelings. i think this book is amazing, i would recommend to anyone in the LGBTQIAP+ community, it is also helpful for people trying to understand how to learn more about these things and how to respect people in different ways. i would recommend this to a lot of people. Mason Deaver is one of my new favourite writers, their work is amazing !
This is my first read of the year and i could not put it down ! i read it in less than 48 hours. i love the diversity and complexity of the characters. i think the way Deaver has portrayed the main character Ben has helped you resonate with them more. i think the flaws of the character have become a main part of the story and the overall growth of ben themself and their feelings. i think this book is amazing, i would recommend to anyone in the LGBTQIAP+ community, it is also helpful for people trying to understand how to learn more about these things and how to respect people in different ways. i would recommend this to a lot of people. Mason Deaver is one of my new favourite writers, their work is amazing !
Content Warnings
Graphic: Panic attacks/disorders, Mental illness, Homophobia, Transphobia, Suicidal thoughts, and Child abuse
Minor: Pregnancy
please check the content warnings ! ive tagged the majority of the content warnings on here !emily_mh's review
emotional
hopeful
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.25
I don't know how to rate and review this, but here goes. The mental health rep here was handled really well. It portrayed anxiety and depression realistically; meds didn't work perfectly, Ben initially had an aversion to both therapy and medication, and their recovery wasn't linear. I also thought the nuance that Deaver brought to Ben and Hannah's relationship was good. I appreciated that they showed how Hannah wasn't necessarily in the wrong, but Ben could still be hurt by her actions. There wasn't much plot, but I still enjoyed reading it because it was super cathartic seeing Ben start to heal. I think they come a long way by the end of the book.
On the other hand, I think some other rep and information was not done well. For example, I really wish Nathan had been fleshed out as a character. It kind of felt like Deaver took the stereotypical "golden retriever" LI archetype and left it at that, giving him no motivations or desires unrelated to Ben. While it was obvious Ben and Nathan had a connection, one I was rooting for, it still felt like I barely knew Nathan. This is the book's biggest issue, because I think it is an example of the situation that readers and reviewers of the global majority have been pointing out for ages, where white authors write a LI of the global majority whose only purpose in the book is to assist the white MC in their development. If I am wrong here or out of my lane, I will fully delete this review. I wanted to flag it in case I wasn't.
On top of this, the book presents some misinformation about being gay, ace, and aro. It implies that a nonbinary person like Ben cannot be gay because being gay is about being attracted to the same gender, and as Ben doesn't have a gender, they cannot experience same-gender attraction. In reality, being gay is simply about non-women being attracted to non-women. This is the quote I am referring to:
"And besides, I don’t exactly have a gender, and being gay implies being interested in the same gender."
It also implies that to be ace or aro is to be touch averse, when only some aces and aros are touch averse - it's this very piece of misinformation that means so many aces and aros don't realise they are asexual or aromantic for ages. Literally a simple "some" in this sentence would have fixed this misinformation:
“'Touch aversion can be common in people who deal with panic attacks, or people dealing with anxiety. In fact, there are some people who are just born or develop that way, like asexual or aromantic people.'”
So, yeah. Do with this what you will.
Rep: bisexual NB MC, bisexual LI of the global majority (ethnicity not explicitly stated), Bahraini Shia Muslim pansexual NB SC, Chinese-American SC, SC of the global majority (Ben's therapist Dr. Taylor, whose ethnicity is also not explicitly stated), Black SC (implied, ethnicity not explicitly stated), Korean-American SC with ADHD
On the other hand, I think some other rep and information was not done well. For example, I really wish Nathan had been fleshed out as a character. It kind of felt like Deaver took the stereotypical "golden retriever" LI archetype and left it at that, giving him no motivations or desires unrelated to Ben. While it was obvious Ben and Nathan had a connection, one I was rooting for, it still felt like I barely knew Nathan. This is the book's biggest issue, because I think it is an example of the situation that readers and reviewers of the global majority have been pointing out for ages, where white authors write a LI of the global majority whose only purpose in the book is to assist the white MC in their development. If I am wrong here or out of my lane, I will fully delete this review. I wanted to flag it in case I wasn't.
On top of this, the book presents some misinformation about being gay, ace, and aro. It implies that a nonbinary person like Ben cannot be gay because being gay is about being attracted to the same gender, and as Ben doesn't have a gender, they cannot experience same-gender attraction. In reality, being gay is simply about non-women being attracted to non-women. This is the quote I am referring to:
"And besides, I don’t exactly have a gender, and being gay implies being interested in the same gender."
It also implies that to be ace or aro is to be touch averse, when only some aces and aros are touch averse - it's this very piece of misinformation that means so many aces and aros don't realise they are asexual or aromantic for ages. Literally a simple "some" in this sentence would have fixed this misinformation:
“'Touch aversion can be common in people who deal with panic attacks, or people dealing with anxiety. In fact, there are some people who are just born or develop that way, like asexual or aromantic people.'”
So, yeah. Do with this what you will.
Rep: bisexual NB MC, bisexual LI of the global majority (ethnicity not explicitly stated), Bahraini Shia Muslim pansexual NB SC, Chinese-American SC, SC of the global majority (Ben's therapist Dr. Taylor, whose ethnicity is also not explicitly stated), Black SC (implied, ethnicity not explicitly stated), Korean-American SC with ADHD
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, and Transphobia
Moderate: Abandonment and Cursing
Minor: Ableism, Alcohol, Death, Physical abuse, Drug use, Medical content, Misogyny, Outing, Pregnancy, Sexual content, Domestic abuse, Injury/Injury detail, Islamophobia, Sexual assault, Homophobia, Suicidal thoughts, and Vomit
Major: disownment, misgendering (mostly uninformed as Ben isn't out to most people) Moderate: body dysmorphia Minor: one implied use of the transphobic t-slur, suicidal ideation, off-page use of the homophobic f-slur, 1 HP reference, menstruationalexlily's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
5.0
Reread on audio this time around. Still one of my favourites. The anxiety rep is really good. I need a Hannah and Thomas in my life
Content Warnings
Graphic: Abandonment, Emotional abuse, Outing, Deadnaming, Panic attacks/disorders, Dysphoria, Gaslighting, Homophobia, Mental illness, and Transphobia
Moderate: Stalking and Physical abuse
Minor: Pregnancy, Islamophobia, and Religious bigotry
theheartisanaro's review
4.5
This bookwas really painful but also really good and important and so relatable and affirming and for that I'm very thankful and I think I always will be.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Transphobia, Abandonment, Gaslighting, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Panic attacks/disorders, Mental illness, and Dysphoria
Moderate: Stalking
Minor: Pregnancy and Physical abuse
lyd41's review
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.75
Dialogue was terribly written and insufferable to read and also very out of character at times but I still liked the premise of the book. Plot was fun. Although cheesy
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Cursing, Emotional abuse, Panic attacks/disorders, Grief, Physical abuse, Pregnancy, Homophobia, Mental illness, Outing, Abandonment, Alcohol, Gaslighting, Religious bigotry, and Suicidal thoughts
lh_reads's review against another edition
emotional
lighthearted
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
Content Warnings
Moderate: Panic attacks/disorders, Transphobia, Dysphoria, Mental illness, Child abuse, and Emotional abuse
Minor: Pregnancy and Homophobia
alphabetmafiamember's review
challenging
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Abandonment, Alcohol, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Panic attacks/disorders, and Transphobia
Moderate: Dysphoria, Gaslighting, Physical abuse, Pregnancy, and Vomit