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sophieamelia's review against another edition
challenging
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
cheekylaydee's review against another edition
5.0
An exquisitely beautiful portrayal of love in it's truest form......
Now I'm not usually one for "romantic" novels. Boy meets girl- will they /won't they -overcoming the odds -happily ever after.
However, in this case, I am a convert. The Course of Love is different. Normally marriage is the end of the story but in the case of Rabih and Kirsten we follow them from the giddy infatuation of early love, and we end fourteen years and two kids later. Alain de Botton's prose makes the seemingly mundane utterly compelling. He seems to be able to get right to the core of his character's beings, and subsequently you as a reader. The snippets of insight into relationships in general are innovative. sometimes frightening but they always strike true.
It's a novel that explores the reasons why two people choose to spend their life together. Not only does it deal with the mundane everyday existence of being in the same person's company, but it gives an insight into how each partner interacts with the other, and the reasons why they act the way they do.
I feel like I can't really put into coherent words just how touched and moved I was by this very simple yet highly complex novel of two people that are building a life together. It's like most things. On the surface, it seems very basic and straightforward, yet what de Botton does is delve into those complexities of what makes his characters who they are, indeed, what makes them human.
A paradox of simple complexity. A life-affirming, reassuring insight into love and what it truly means to choose one person out of 1.5 billion possibilities. From a personal point of view, it has reaffirmed something I already knew. That my partner IS the one I am meant to be with. For a novel to do that it has to be something special. This book will leave those of us in long-term relationships or indeed marriages feeling that in this ultimately lonely existence there is going to be at least one person willing to travel through life with us. For the singletons, it may well give you something to aim for. A rare 5 stars. I couldn't justify giving it any less.
Now I'm not usually one for "romantic" novels. Boy meets girl- will they /won't they -overcoming the odds -happily ever after.
However, in this case, I am a convert. The Course of Love is different. Normally marriage is the end of the story but in the case of Rabih and Kirsten we follow them from the giddy infatuation of early love, and we end fourteen years and two kids later. Alain de Botton's prose makes the seemingly mundane utterly compelling. He seems to be able to get right to the core of his character's beings, and subsequently you as a reader. The snippets of insight into relationships in general are innovative. sometimes frightening but they always strike true.
It's a novel that explores the reasons why two people choose to spend their life together. Not only does it deal with the mundane everyday existence of being in the same person's company, but it gives an insight into how each partner interacts with the other, and the reasons why they act the way they do.
I feel like I can't really put into coherent words just how touched and moved I was by this very simple yet highly complex novel of two people that are building a life together. It's like most things. On the surface, it seems very basic and straightforward, yet what de Botton does is delve into those complexities of what makes his characters who they are, indeed, what makes them human.
A paradox of simple complexity. A life-affirming, reassuring insight into love and what it truly means to choose one person out of 1.5 billion possibilities. From a personal point of view, it has reaffirmed something I already knew. That my partner IS the one I am meant to be with. For a novel to do that it has to be something special. This book will leave those of us in long-term relationships or indeed marriages feeling that in this ultimately lonely existence there is going to be at least one person willing to travel through life with us. For the singletons, it may well give you something to aim for. A rare 5 stars. I couldn't justify giving it any less.
shannypoo2's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
aruggiero49's review against another edition
3.0
Though this book was only 200 something pages, it felt much longer. I did really enjoyed the chapter Ready for Marriage, which felt like a grand summary of all of the lessons Botton wanted to impart.
philippakmoore's review against another edition
5.0
Known for his wonderful works of non-fiction, this time de Botton has written a novel that follows the relationship of Rabih and Kirsten over, as the title suggests, the course of their love.
This isn't your typical novel, that's for sure. It reads like a case history in parts, like philosophy in others, and there are other sections where the writing is very lyrical indeed. Whichever genre you think it might fit best, it is a stunning exploration of what it takes to have a successful long term relationship. I think we all know that falling in love is easy. It is the maintaining of that love over the long term, over the course of our lives, that is the real challenge.
Basically, the Romantic notion of love is what sets so many of us up for a fall. Romance is only part of the story. We are ready for marriage, de Botton writes, when we are prepared to love rather than be loved and compatibility, he explains, is an achievement of love - it shouldn't be a precondition.
The exploration of this particular marriage between Rabih and Kirsten covers pretty much everything - disillusionment, loss of desire, adultery, "immature rages, late-night threats of divorce, sullen silences, slammed doors and everyday acts of thoughtlessness and cruelty", as well as the loneliness and fear of being vulnerable that can be felt in long term relationships. Alain de Botton has a voyeur's eye as he zooms in on Rabih and Kirsten, going beyond their physical bodies and into their hearts and minds, where he can see everything and how their past experiences, childhood traumas, their earliest experiences of love and what it meant and how you were supposed to show it, are now playing out in their marriage.
There are many truths in The Course of Love, some of which (having been through a divorce and now having been remarried for nearly a decade) I knew very intimately. Some of de Botton's observations were so accurate they made me squirm a little. I highlighted a lot of passages on my Kindle version!
Ultimately, I came away from reading this wonderful, wise book feeling reassured and comforted. Human beings are complicated and no relationship is perfect. Love can be quite messy, entailing a lot of compromise, and de Botton's stance is that you can only ever really love and make a success out of a long term relationship if you are prepared to accept that your partner isn't perfect and inevitably they will disappoint you. So much of our disillusionment in life comes from expecting people (not just our lovers, our friends and families too) to be mind readers and meet our needs without our ever having to articulate them, so we need to take a bit more responsibility for ourselves and our own happiness, rather than pour all our hopes into one person. Also, the occasional blips that you might worry about are actually far more common than you think (I swear Alain de Botton must have had our living room bugged at one point, as some scenes were very realistic indeed!).
I think this book should be compulsory reading for anyone thinking about getting married. Having got divorced at 26, when I remarried at 29 I think I definitely went into it with my eyes wide open and with realistic expectations - spare yourself what I went through in my first marriage to get to that point, however, and read The Course of Love instead!
Thank you to Netgalley and the publishers for an ARC.
This isn't your typical novel, that's for sure. It reads like a case history in parts, like philosophy in others, and there are other sections where the writing is very lyrical indeed. Whichever genre you think it might fit best, it is a stunning exploration of what it takes to have a successful long term relationship. I think we all know that falling in love is easy. It is the maintaining of that love over the long term, over the course of our lives, that is the real challenge.
Basically, the Romantic notion of love is what sets so many of us up for a fall. Romance is only part of the story. We are ready for marriage, de Botton writes, when we are prepared to love rather than be loved and compatibility, he explains, is an achievement of love - it shouldn't be a precondition.
The exploration of this particular marriage between Rabih and Kirsten covers pretty much everything - disillusionment, loss of desire, adultery, "immature rages, late-night threats of divorce, sullen silences, slammed doors and everyday acts of thoughtlessness and cruelty", as well as the loneliness and fear of being vulnerable that can be felt in long term relationships. Alain de Botton has a voyeur's eye as he zooms in on Rabih and Kirsten, going beyond their physical bodies and into their hearts and minds, where he can see everything and how their past experiences, childhood traumas, their earliest experiences of love and what it meant and how you were supposed to show it, are now playing out in their marriage.
There are many truths in The Course of Love, some of which (having been through a divorce and now having been remarried for nearly a decade) I knew very intimately. Some of de Botton's observations were so accurate they made me squirm a little. I highlighted a lot of passages on my Kindle version!
Ultimately, I came away from reading this wonderful, wise book feeling reassured and comforted. Human beings are complicated and no relationship is perfect. Love can be quite messy, entailing a lot of compromise, and de Botton's stance is that you can only ever really love and make a success out of a long term relationship if you are prepared to accept that your partner isn't perfect and inevitably they will disappoint you. So much of our disillusionment in life comes from expecting people (not just our lovers, our friends and families too) to be mind readers and meet our needs without our ever having to articulate them, so we need to take a bit more responsibility for ourselves and our own happiness, rather than pour all our hopes into one person. Also, the occasional blips that you might worry about are actually far more common than you think (I swear Alain de Botton must have had our living room bugged at one point, as some scenes were very realistic indeed!).
I think this book should be compulsory reading for anyone thinking about getting married. Having got divorced at 26, when I remarried at 29 I think I definitely went into it with my eyes wide open and with realistic expectations - spare yourself what I went through in my first marriage to get to that point, however, and read The Course of Love instead!
Thank you to Netgalley and the publishers for an ARC.
bbrey26's review against another edition
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
djrezzyrez's review against another edition
4.0
I really enjoyed this. And I mostly liked the switching of voice between Rabih and Kirsten’s story, and the analytical therapist in the background.
maty_sousa's review against another edition
3.0
Realistic without losing sight of the most important thing: the true art of loving the imperfection of another human being (as well as accepting our own). Because in real life, there's so much more to it than: "They lived happily ever after".
martyna22's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
k_sch_z's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
relaxing
medium-paced
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0