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mesy_mark's review against another edition
informative
reflective
Looking at this book I thought it would be great to read a book about trans man. I am one so that really interested me. But unfortunately, I didn't get the book that seemed to be a good concept. Following 4 individuals, I can't say trans men based on the that that one of the people involved is not even a transgender male but a female GNC lesbian so there goes out the window of following transmen. Also, and this is nothing against the nonbinary community, the focus is more than beyond the realms of being a trans man. Instead, there is a so-called traditional trans man which the author could just say some dudes are, gasp. binary (like me even though I have some feminine traits and such). There is also the fact that even though this book is saying that the book is following transmen and their life of transition, the main focus is more on that blurred line. So if I was the author I wouldn't say I am following transmen instead I would say I am following afab individuals.
mayagb37's review against another edition
5.0
This book was so incredible. I loved it. It combined personal stories of trans men and their experience transitioning with the cultural and historical analysis of sociologist Arlene Stein. A fascinating read.
kstookley's review against another edition
4.0
I thought this book had one of the most thoughtful discussions I've seen pretty much anywhere of the transmasculine experience, acknowledging the fact that while many trans folks, on some level, believe that the gender binary is bullshit, they still realize they have to live in a mostly binary world and can't be a trans activist 24/7, so they have to work to check off some boxes. As Stein acknowledges, her spread of transmasc people she speaks to are limited, in that they were the ones who have both the desire and the means to see a top surgeon who doesn't accept insurance. Still, I feel like she did a fair job of acknowledging a breadth of transmasculine experiences. I especially liked her discussion of butch identity and how it can really trouble the line between masculinity and womanhood. Stein definitely had biases as a second-wave feminist lesbian, and at times it hurt to read her quote the terf-y rhetoric of others. Still, she acknowledges her biases very openly, which is all one can really do, and I do think she grew in the process of writing this book. I wish she talked more about how capitalism informs trans identity (and lgbtq identity in general) and that she discussed hrt a bit more, considering that most of her subjects were on testosterone. But, honestly, this is the kind of book I would give to someone who wants a comprehensive idea of transmasculinity. I don't think it either overemphasizes the binary or talks too much about how gender is fake and you can identify as a rock if you want to (a la Kate Bornstein), which I appreciate a lot. Seriously, this is the kind of book I would consider making my parents read.
EDIT: read this again during a period where I am thinking way more seriously about top surgery than I ever have before and also have more knowledge of transmasc experience in general. With this context, Stein's second-wave biases become much more frustrating. While I do still think this book might still be good for outsiders, it now feels especially important to have an actually trans person write a book like this. It could dive deeper into the trans experience, without having to spend so much time analyzing personal hang-ups of the author. I am also more aware of the author parroting common myths-- like that no one gets phalloplasty because the results aren't great-- without making any effort to debunk them. I suppose that now I am more certain in what I want from my transition, this book is no longer for me.
EDIT: read this again during a period where I am thinking way more seriously about top surgery than I ever have before and also have more knowledge of transmasc experience in general. With this context, Stein's second-wave biases become much more frustrating. While I do still think this book might still be good for outsiders, it now feels especially important to have an actually trans person write a book like this. It could dive deeper into the trans experience, without having to spend so much time analyzing personal hang-ups of the author. I am also more aware of the author parroting common myths-- like that no one gets phalloplasty because the results aren't great-- without making any effort to debunk them. I suppose that now I am more certain in what I want from my transition, this book is no longer for me.
achristian's review
1.0
Poorly written, archaic ramble on transgender men by a cisgender woman. I'm sure she meant well but I had to grit my teeth to get through it and it left me feeling like a zoo animal.
nelldrik's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
3.75
(Rating explanation: Very good; not likely to reread; would recommend only to certain people.)
*Of note, I am a white cis woman.
I purchased this book from Audible on somewhat of a whim, doing only a cursory google of the author to try and ensure I wasn't about to read something horrifically TERF-y. After the first chapter, I ended up reading some other reviews and began to worry about what I had gotten myself into. I continued to read it with caution, and having completed it, I think this book is excellent if, and only if, it is read as an encapsulation of one person's relatable experience of an evolving topic during one moment in time. It does feel quite dated in parts, and I suspect may have felt so from the day of publication, because ideas around/understanding of the subject matter are shifting relatively rapidly on a cultural/societal level.
I do think that Stein's intent was merely to tell a story, about herself and about the people she encountered as she set out to learn more about transmasculinity, and I think that she makes this clear at several places in the book. However, I also think she vastly underestimated the impact of her credentials and her earlier oeuvre, which (to my understanding; I have not read them) are actual sociological case studies. It is thus extremely uncomfortable (at best) when she records offensive/dangerous/TERFy statements without argument or contradiction. I would not recommend this to someone without warning them of this, nor would I necessarily recommend it to someone who has absolutely no knowledge of trans issues, someone who may already be inclined toward bias against trans people, and/or someone who may not be able to discern the danger of these statements/beliefs.
But ultimately, this is not a book of answers and it is not trying to be. It's a narrative relaying the evolution of Stein's own personal views on a subject she was admittedly ignorant of prior to beginning this book and still doesn't have a complete understanding of (which I think she would be the first to admit). It's the story of a few people making their way through a world that wants firm answers where there are none. It's a story of grappling with a world that is leaving behind the structures that made you, that maybe even fundamentally changed you, and of letting go of ideas you never imagined you could, even when it is uncomfortable, even when it hurts. And it's a story of finding a way to respect and love someone else's story and experience of the world even when you don't understand it.
*Of note, I am a white cis woman.
I purchased this book from Audible on somewhat of a whim, doing only a cursory google of the author to try and ensure I wasn't about to read something horrifically TERF-y. After the first chapter, I ended up reading some other reviews and began to worry about what I had gotten myself into. I continued to read it with caution, and having completed it, I think this book is excellent if, and only if, it is read as an encapsulation of one person's relatable experience of an evolving topic during one moment in time. It does feel quite dated in parts, and I suspect may have felt so from the day of publication, because ideas around/understanding of the subject matter are shifting relatively rapidly on a cultural/societal level.
I do think that Stein's intent was merely to tell a story, about herself and about the people she encountered as she set out to learn more about transmasculinity, and I think that she makes this clear at several places in the book. However, I also think she vastly underestimated the impact of her credentials and her earlier oeuvre, which (to my understanding; I have not read them) are actual sociological case studies. It is thus extremely uncomfortable (at best) when she records offensive/dangerous/TERFy statements without argument or contradiction. I would not recommend this to someone without warning them of this, nor would I necessarily recommend it to someone who has absolutely no knowledge of trans issues, someone who may already be inclined toward bias against trans people, and/or someone who may not be able to discern the danger of these statements/beliefs.
But ultimately, this is not a book of answers and it is not trying to be. It's a narrative relaying the evolution of Stein's own personal views on a subject she was admittedly ignorant of prior to beginning this book and still doesn't have a complete understanding of (which I think she would be the first to admit). It's the story of a few people making their way through a world that wants firm answers where there are none. It's a story of grappling with a world that is leaving behind the structures that made you, that maybe even fundamentally changed you, and of letting go of ideas you never imagined you could, even when it is uncomfortable, even when it hurts. And it's a story of finding a way to respect and love someone else's story and experience of the world even when you don't understand it.
aidenb243's review
1.0
I've read a lot of books about the trans masculine experience and I'm trans masculine myself. Despite the author's intention to be unbiased, she comes across as intensely voyeuristic and seems to focus on what trans men's existence means for HER (a cis lesbian).
The population she sampled from is also predominantely middle class and white, neither of which are dominant groups within the community.
If you're looking to be more informed, this book doesn't offer any new information or new arguments. It's more so a regurgitation of existing literature, seemingly intended for cisgender consumption.
The population she sampled from is also predominantely middle class and white, neither of which are dominant groups within the community.
If you're looking to be more informed, this book doesn't offer any new information or new arguments. It's more so a regurgitation of existing literature, seemingly intended for cisgender consumption.