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gabiharvey's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
i finished this book on june twelfth. jude took his life, once and for all on june twelfth.
this book - i am completely and utterly speechless. even though i just finished it, i can tell, i know without a doubt, that this book has changed me. in what ways? i don't quite know yet, but i know it has.
"'my poor jude. my poor sweetheart.' and with that, he starts to cry, for no one has ever called him sweetheart..."
"'my sweetheart,' harold says again, and he wants him to stop; he wants him to never stop. 'my baby.' and he cries and cries..."
what's the most heartbreaking, is the inevitability of it all. from the start, jude's exit from this world via suicide was always obvious, always something that wouldn't come off as a surprise. and yet, being human, naturally i held onto some slight hope that he would find happiness in the end, that he would be okay. in the end, when his suicide was revealed, it was both a shock and not one, because for me personally, i just gaslit myself so hard, even though the truth was there in plain sight from page one.
it's utterly insane to me, how real this book has become. i swear jude st. francis, willem ragnarsson, and all the other characters are very real people. i don't know how yanagihara managed to do so, i just know she did.
having a main character who is disabled, abused both physically and emotionally, and consistently declining in overall health for the entire duration of the book is, like i mentioned earlier, a recipe for disaster. however, this also makes the book something beautiful in its tragedy, where as the reader, you know to appreciate the good moments, no matter how big or small. seeing jude achieve happiness with willem was something beyond rewarding to see, even though it was never necessarily "perfect", such as willem's choice of ignoring the fact that jude was miserable having sex, and resulted in jude burning himself, willem throwing a razor at him, and the entirety of that portion of the book. But, when they apolgized to one another, and talked, my heart ached and healed in a way words can't describe. seeing willem continue to accept jude as he tells his entire backstory, from the monastery to dr. traylor, was something i never thought would come to fruition. for jude to see that he was still loved after that, it was something beyond describing. without a doubt, the happy years was my favorite section of the book, especially after willem and jude's talk about his past. seeing willem worry incessantly for jude with his wounds, his staying at home as opposed to working, his comforting him with his nightmares, telling jude who he really is, his waking up and holding jude so tight when jude wanted to cut himself, his motivation for jude to take care of himself, his crying at jude's bed before the amputation operation (i broke so hard here), his being there as jude was put in a medically induced coma, his reassurance to jude that harold would never do what those clients did to him, his presence as jude learned to walk once again, or when he seized in bed (and willem thought that was it, poor baby :(), or tucked him in bed after noticing jude's dozing at the dinner table, or helping jude take his final walk with his real legs, or teaching jude how to dance in the bathroom, or touring that famous structure in europe together, or treating jude as nothing less than normal as he sat without his prothesis, or spending hours in the hospital with him, or taking a walk with jude even though it worried him, or attending jude's work party, in which jude came practically running (i know he actually can't but as close as he could, i'm sure) to willem when he saw willem tug on his left ear.
Graphic: Blood, Mental illness, Toxic friendship, Rape, Torture, Emotional abuse, Grief, Self harm, Sexual content, Sexual harassment, Violence, Physical abuse, Suicide attempt, Trafficking, Adult/minor relationship, Injury/Injury detail, Child abuse, Medical trauma, Panic attacks/disorders, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Chronic illness, Medical content, Pedophilia, Death, and Gaslighting
Moderate: Ableism, Bullying, Confinement, Slavery, Fire/Fire injury, Forced institutionalization, Gore, Cursing, Abandonment, Domestic abuse, Eating disorder, Kidnapping, Addiction, Body horror, Car accident, and Body shaming
Minor: Vomit and Death of parent
tazch1701's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
With regards to Jude, I wish there was more of an exploration of his thoughts and how his adverse childhood shaped his self worth as an adult. It was easy to extrapolate the fact that what happened to him as a child is what makes him act the way he does as an adult, but I specifically would have liked to have seen an explanation of that in his own words/ inner monologue.
I have a major issue with the end. It could have been a brilliant way to explore how choosing to take the steps to recover doesn't always mean you will recover. Or the fact that recovery is not linear, that normal is different or almost has no meaning at all when your childhood has been so wrought with strife. An aspect of mental health I think is ill explored is the very real risk of actually not seeing improvement despite leaning on a support system and taking steps to get better, if the book explored that it would have felt complete. Instead, it ended in a way that makes the book seem like its only purpose was to make Jude suffer physical abuse from either other or himself. Not to say Jude's ending didnt make sense, given what happened to Willem I fully understand why he did what he did. But it robbed readers of an ending that would have left us a little more enlightened and equally as heartbroken.
I still have to rate the book fairly highly despite how much I hated the ending because its taken up so much space in my mind and its taken me almost a year to properly articulate my thoughts on it.
Graphic: Drug use, Hate crime, Homophobia, Injury/Injury detail, Abandonment, Child death, Death, Rape, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Grief, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Suicide attempt, Toxic relationship, Toxic friendship, Medical trauma, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Slavery, Torture, Body shaming, Blood, Emotional abuse, Sexual violence, Bullying, Car accident, Child abuse, Classism, Cursing, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Dysphoria, Forced institutionalization, Gaslighting, Gore, Kidnapping, Alcoholism, Body horror, Trafficking, Sexual harassment, Violence, Ableism, Chronic illness, Medical content, Self harm, Mental illness, and Physical abuse
isis_wm's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Graphic: Body shaming, Chronic illness, Fire/Fire injury, Forced institutionalization, Addiction, Blood, Body horror, Self harm, Bullying, Death, Gore, Grief, Kidnapping, Toxic relationship, Adult/minor relationship, Drug abuse, Drug use, Dysphoria, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Car accident, Emotional abuse, Injury/Injury detail, Panic attacks/disorders, Sexual content, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Sexual harassment, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Violence, Vomit, Abandonment, Gaslighting, Medical content, Rape, Sexual assault, Suicide, Eating disorder, Physical abuse, Medical trauma, Slavery, Suicide attempt, Terminal illness, and Torture
clovetra's review
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
i originally debated over whether i was gonna give this 5-stars or 4-stars but honestly the sheer ability for this book to make me cry 7 different times is enough to make it a 5-star. i barely cry whilst consuming media as my autistic brain is able to differentiate this shit is not real therefore its not sad!!! but i could not with this book. so much crying. even some happy tears which is nuts because ive only done that with one other book (The Lesbiana's Guide to Catholic School). the way i became so attached to all these characters made me so emotional in every aspect. like the fact i was already beginning to cry in part III when the horrors of part IV & part VI were yet to come.... beautiful.
the only reason i was thinking this was a 4-star book was because god... jude sometimes is so annoying. it feels so wrong writing that because hes literally my baby girl but. QUEEN PLEASE LET URSELF BE LOVED!!!! thats the part that was grating. i know its realistic tho, so tbh im not mad at it. jude repeating that he is unloveable, disgusting, etc. is essential to his character, so from purely a reader's perspective i fucking hated it, but as someone who thinks this book will stick with them for the rest of their life, oh it was necessary.
also who tf decides to give a 4-star review for a 737 page book they read in 2-weeks???? thats fucking nuts even for me.
the amount of times i had to resist googling fanart of willem & jude, or just jude in general was so fucking hard. ive never had this deep of a yearning for literal words.
also this book made me feel. tbh im kinda desensitised to gore & horror and general Bad Things in books. like at 9y/o i was on r/5050 and other shit my ass shouldn't have seen. but some scenes made me viscerally nauseous, or genuinely have to put the book down and stare into space for a bit. yet again only one book has achieved this feat (Earthlings), but even then that book just fucked me up for one part. this book fucked me up at every corner. every page turn.
literally i decided to watch a horror movie last night (abigail, 2024, for anyone curious) and usually im good with gore. most of my special interests are all horror-related (danganronpa, fnaf, until dawn, etc.). because of this book i actually was gagging & had to close my eyes at many points WHILST WATCHING A MOVIE.
the fact a book can have that big of an effect on me? my insane ass? oh yeah hanya yanagihara solo'd.
i actually dont think i can describe how much this book has changed me. was this book enjoyable? sometimes yes. sometimes it was almost a sick perversion i had to finish it. like yeah i would say in 2024 there are books i have 100% "enjoyed" more. but i think this shit has fundamentally changed me. i dont know how, but i feel like a new man.
i cant believe i dnf'd this in the past (to be fair tho i was 14 years old... yeah this wouldve fucked me up even worse!!!!!)
if you are looking to change ur brain chemistry in the worst yet best way possible this book is for you 👍
Graphic: Chronic illness, Domestic abuse, Injury/Injury detail, Physical abuse, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Rape, Ableism, Death, Sexual violence, Suicide attempt, Toxic relationship, Trafficking, Violence, Vomit, Medical content, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Suicide, Torture, Sexual assault, Fire/Fire injury, Forced institutionalization, Medical trauma, Adult/minor relationship, Blood, and Child abuse
Moderate: Drug use, Toxic friendship, Kidnapping, Panic attacks/disorders, Sexual content, Slavery, Drug abuse, Infidelity, Car accident, Child death, and Alcohol
Minor: Cancer
c_seonjyung's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Graphic: Bullying, Toxic relationship, Fire/Fire injury, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Sexual violence, Torture, Eating disorder, Pedophilia, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Suicide attempt, Drug use, Sexual assault, Body horror, Car accident, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Rape, Trafficking, Vomit, Grief, Injury/Injury detail, Self harm, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Medical content, Adult/minor relationship, Body shaming, Chronic illness, Cursing, Death, Dysphoria, Excrement, Medical trauma, Sexual content, Terminal illness, Violence, Sexual harassment, and Slavery
Minor: Infidelity
effievee's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Toxic relationship, Rape, Self harm, Fire/Fire injury, Gore, Slavery, Suicidal thoughts, Body horror, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Adult/minor relationship, Drug abuse, Eating disorder, Suicide attempt, Violence, Trafficking, Chronic illness, Emotional abuse, Forced institutionalization, Suicide, Terminal illness, Torture, Blood, Child abuse, Grief, Injury/Injury detail, Medical content, Pedophilia, and Sexual harassment
Moderate: Toxic friendship, Addiction, Alcoholism, Religious bigotry, Vomit, Alcohol, Stalking, and Cursing
ellen1196's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Graphic: Sexual violence, Kidnapping, Pedophilia, Gaslighting, Mental illness, Slavery, Suicidal thoughts, Ableism, Abandonment, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Death, Trafficking, Injury/Injury detail, Religious bigotry, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Self harm, Drug abuse, Grief, Suicide, Suicide attempt, Torture, Body shaming, Child abuse, Hate crime, Sexual assault, Homophobia, Bullying, Domestic abuse, Sexual harassment, Panic attacks/disorders, Confinement, and Rape
k_coston's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
0.25
I go into recommendations blind and all I heard was this made people on tiktok cry, so here is my review after listening to the audiobook for 3 months spoilers are present
1. there's a problem with how there was no care provided to Jude after he got outta his situation like Anya ow whatever her name was didn't set up any counseling after what he went and survived through???? OK, it seems fake, but ok
2. he's such a victim, like it's hard for me to feel sympathy when they unravel his story intermittently throughout the book . It explains why he's like that but it's just a me thing that I didn't like how the book was set up I almost would've wanted them to wait until the end to reveal what happened to him
3. I feel like the author was deriving pleasure how much she was dumping on Jude, like it was extremely hard to continue at times, and I would've dnfed if I was reading the actual book. I feel like that experience with Dr trailer was completely unnecessary to the story like it was just like "again really we already did this with brother luke" while listening to it also the story of how the Dr got Jude needed to be explained more throughly
4. willem and Jude had respect for each other but not love like willem took advantage of Jude and that really disgusted me when we found out he suspected Jude didn't like having sex with him and he still subjected him to it? after already guessing he had sexual trauma, you did that to the person you supposedly loved most? actually, he didn't even respect him. You don't do that to people you love.
5. how does Jude have a backbone in only 1 area of his life? only work. on top of not having a backbone, he doesn't have a personality! he doesnt share anything about himself it seems like he's being pitied by everyone around him all the time, like he does not develop whatsoever from page one and I feel like I myself don't know anything about Jude other than he doesn't like himself but even after a while a victim has to take a stand for themselves and we're rooting for him to get some self esteem and it just never develops. if you don't have a backbone for yourself and for no one else, how are you supposed to stand the test of time? how are you supposed to take the rocks that life throw at you??? that's exactly why Caleb was allowed to do what he did to Jude and why Jude was always bound to kill himself in the end.
6. this is a book that doesn't have any character development in the slightest and I was holding out until the last moment that the author would do the humane thing and give Jude a happy ending but no. it was a vile book of trauma porn with no resolution so you spend the entire book reading about unthinkable pain and suffering so much so that you start wanting him to die to put him out of his misery.
very cruel Hanya.
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Forced institutionalization, Infidelity, Suicide attempt, Torture, Vomit, Sexual harassment, Sexual violence, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Addiction, Grief, Medical trauma, Racial slurs, Medical content, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Sexual assault, Toxic friendship, Car accident, Child death, Chronic illness, Cursing, Injury/Injury detail, Trafficking, Suicide, Gore, Rape, Religious bigotry, Self harm, Sexual content, Slavery, Toxic relationship, Violence, Adult/minor relationship, Ableism, Physical abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Cancer, Child abuse, Drug use, and Eating disorder
jogg1's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
Graphic: Injury/Injury detail, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Self harm, Domestic abuse, Suicide, Suicide attempt, Child abuse, Rape, Suicidal thoughts, Physical abuse, Sexual violence, Medical content, Slavery, Violence, Trafficking, Grief, and Death
drkng31's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
O recomand? Da!
Mi-a plăcut? Nu!
Graphic: Self harm, Bullying, Child abuse, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Grief, Rape, Kidnapping, Abandonment, Sexual assault, Slavery, Domestic abuse, Forced institutionalization, Adult/minor relationship, Emotional abuse, Medical content, Stalking, Death, Violence, Blood, Body horror, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt, Toxic relationship, Trafficking, Medical trauma, and Sexual violence
Moderate: Eating disorder, Fire/Fire injury, Torture, and Car accident
Minor: Drug use, Vomit, and Addiction