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149 reviews for:
Etched in Sand: A True Story of Five Siblings Who Survived an Unspeakable Childhood on Long Island
Regina Calcaterra
4.21 AVERAGE
149 reviews for:
Etched in Sand: A True Story of Five Siblings Who Survived an Unspeakable Childhood on Long Island
Regina Calcaterra
4.21 AVERAGE
Had I not been part of a book club that discussed this book in late 2021, I would never have come within a million downloads of it. It just didn’t seem like my kind of book. I read it on, of all days, the day after Thanksgiving—a day when I should still be basking in my gratitude-induced endorphin high. Interestingly enough, by the time I reached the end, I was both inspired and grateful for the opportunity to have read this.
The author details her life growing up on Long Island with an abusive seemingly evil mother who did everything in her power to damage her five children emotionally as well as physically. The author doesn’t blink when she writes the story of her abuse and neglect. The five develop techniques that keep them alive and unified. In life and unity, there is hope for things to be better. There are four girls and one boy in the family, and you’ll read about the rapidity with which they grew up. While they deceived school officials and other adults to make it look like their lives were normal, these five never deceived one another or turned against one another in their formative years. This is a slap in the face of county and state officials who were supposed to have had these kids’ best interest at heart and chose instead to play by dispassionate one-size-fits-all rules that hampered the progress of these children and actually aided the scheming, devious mother.
But the main lesson of the book is that the human spirit is indomitable. She proves by virtue of her successful life that resilience has not gone out of fashion nor is it imaginary. She never accepts the “that’s the way I am, and I can’t change” mantra. Interestingly enough, the book renewed my sense of gratitude for my magnificent albeit imperfect parents. It filled me with the melancholy that comes of knowing I didn’t express that love and gratitude nearly enough while they were alive and able to hear it.
My only criticism is this is an author-narrated book, and the expression was pretty monotonal in places. Yes, this is me, the same reviewer who craves a nice, straight narration without histrionics. This was a bit too flat. I fell asleep numerous times reading it and had to backtrack several times during the day. That said, if you start this, you’ll almost surely finish it. I got through it easily in a single day, and I begrudged every second I had to do something that didn’t involve listening to the book. The author tells a vivid story, and she never lets the injustices done to her by the system conquer her.
The author details her life growing up on Long Island with an abusive seemingly evil mother who did everything in her power to damage her five children emotionally as well as physically. The author doesn’t blink when she writes the story of her abuse and neglect. The five develop techniques that keep them alive and unified. In life and unity, there is hope for things to be better. There are four girls and one boy in the family, and you’ll read about the rapidity with which they grew up. While they deceived school officials and other adults to make it look like their lives were normal, these five never deceived one another or turned against one another in their formative years. This is a slap in the face of county and state officials who were supposed to have had these kids’ best interest at heart and chose instead to play by dispassionate one-size-fits-all rules that hampered the progress of these children and actually aided the scheming, devious mother.
But the main lesson of the book is that the human spirit is indomitable. She proves by virtue of her successful life that resilience has not gone out of fashion nor is it imaginary. She never accepts the “that’s the way I am, and I can’t change” mantra. Interestingly enough, the book renewed my sense of gratitude for my magnificent albeit imperfect parents. It filled me with the melancholy that comes of knowing I didn’t express that love and gratitude nearly enough while they were alive and able to hear it.
My only criticism is this is an author-narrated book, and the expression was pretty monotonal in places. Yes, this is me, the same reviewer who craves a nice, straight narration without histrionics. This was a bit too flat. I fell asleep numerous times reading it and had to backtrack several times during the day. That said, if you start this, you’ll almost surely finish it. I got through it easily in a single day, and I begrudged every second I had to do something that didn’t involve listening to the book. The author tells a vivid story, and she never lets the injustices done to her by the system conquer her.
challenging
emotional
inspiring
fast-paced
inspiring
fast-paced
An excellent read. Regina really puts you in the setting of her childhood. Her ability to paint the picture for you and display her mindset is amazing. I loved reading about how she overcame her adversity.
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcoholism, Body horror, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Confinement, Cursing, Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Torture, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Grief, Death of parent, Pregnancy, Gaslighting, Abandonment, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, Injury/Injury detail, Classism
Moderate: Ableism, Addiction, Cancer, Chronic illness, Misogyny, Terminal illness, Medical content, Kidnapping
Minor: Animal cruelty, Animal death, Fatphobia, Excrement, Vomit
This story reminds me of a "Child Called It"; heart-breaking and heart-warming all at once. May we never forget that things are rarely what they seem.
I listened to this memoir, and as always I think having the author tell their story in their own voice really enhances the experience. I think the reason so many of us love reading these type of memoirs is because even though it shows us the worst of humanity it also shows us what children coming from these horrible experiences can achieve. It's so inspiring to think that a kid can be raised by such damaged parents/parent and still become a happy, well adjusted adult.
For me the most stirring theme in this book was the deep love the siblings had for each other. I also really liked that Regina was a fighter - willing to do anything to escape their terrible situation, to be seen and to survive.
The story: A prominent New York attorney's unsparing account of how she and her four siblings survived extreme abuse and neglect at the hands of their mentally ill mother.
For me the most stirring theme in this book was the deep love the siblings had for each other. I also really liked that Regina was a fighter - willing to do anything to escape their terrible situation, to be seen and to survive.
The story: A prominent New York attorney's unsparing account of how she and her four siblings survived extreme abuse and neglect at the hands of their mentally ill mother.
Etched in Sand is a story about five siblings who grew up with an abusive mother and how how they work towards overcoming their childhood. The story is told through the eyes of Regina who is the middle child of the family. Much of the story in relation to their childhood, growing up with their mother is heartbreaking and frustrating. I felt for these kids and their struggle to survive through this time period. It highlights how the system is broken and how great efforts need to be made in order to protect children from abuse and overall mistreatment.