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149 reviews for:
Etched in Sand: A True Story of Five Siblings Who Survived an Unspeakable Childhood on Long Island
Regina Calcaterra
4.21 AVERAGE
149 reviews for:
Etched in Sand: A True Story of Five Siblings Who Survived an Unspeakable Childhood on Long Island
Regina Calcaterra
4.21 AVERAGE
This book was pretty good. I did have to read it for english and would have never picked this book up by myself but I am very happy I read it and am more knowledgeable on the topic than I as before. It did take my english class a long time to read this and we stopped reading it for almost a month and I felt very disconnected from the book for that long period.
I loaned this on a whim from the library and listened to most of it on audio. It's an interesting memoir about growing up in dysfunction, and Calcaterra structures the story well. Hearing the story from her own voice was great, and I do recommend listening to the audio version to hear the full Long Island accent. 5 stars for the heart and uplifting message, 3 for the writing.
Compelling reading of a family's struggles on Long Island. I am about the same age and lived near many of the areas she mentioned--provided a new awareness of the poverty and struggles that exist alongside the perfect picket-fence facade of middle class suburbia. Well done
4.5 stars. This was Bruuuuu-taaaal. It was compared to The Glass Castle but I was half way through before I read that blurb (I hate having expectations before reading a book ((thanks gone girl)). Anyway this was just as jaw dropping. Once upon a time there was this woman named Camille or Cookie as we know her to called. She had a daughter by a man. Then another child by another man. Then met a man she fell hard for and had another daughter by him. He didn't take to it too well and she decides she doesn't want to be a mother to any of the three so she drops them off at a woman's house who has a daycare and just takes off. She meets another man and has a son and another man and has yet another daughter. 5 kids. who are back together with Cookie who takes off for drug and alcohol binges weeks at a time so the kids who learn to take care of themselves and also deal with the wicked physical abuse of their mother who would take out her issues on them calling them vile names and leaving them to starve and nurse their own wounds inflicted by their mother.
It's told through the eyes of the middle child, Regina. She pours her experiences onto the page and in a way where it's not melodramatic or sappy or looking for pity but your heart will break in disbelief as the details sink in that some people are just so wretched and fucked up in the world. You'd like to believe that tales of abuse and neglect are elsewhere or in Dickens stories but sadly if you are someone who watches the news or follows the semi accurate Facebook feed all the horror is out there. I don't tend to get too immersed in the bad shit but stories like these suck me in because usually they also show what it takes to deal with an environment like this; hope, strength, perseverance and faith in yourself and that there are good people out there who can help you help yourself. That's what Regina did and her siblings after a harrowing ongoing life of awful 'parenting' and a system that has failed and failed again.
And if you listen to the book it's read by the author which makes it all the more captivating.
It's told through the eyes of the middle child, Regina. She pours her experiences onto the page and in a way where it's not melodramatic or sappy or looking for pity but your heart will break in disbelief as the details sink in that some people are just so wretched and fucked up in the world. You'd like to believe that tales of abuse and neglect are elsewhere or in Dickens stories but sadly if you are someone who watches the news or follows the semi accurate Facebook feed all the horror is out there. I don't tend to get too immersed in the bad shit but stories like these suck me in because usually they also show what it takes to deal with an environment like this; hope, strength, perseverance and faith in yourself and that there are good people out there who can help you help yourself. That's what Regina did and her siblings after a harrowing ongoing life of awful 'parenting' and a system that has failed and failed again.
And if you listen to the book it's read by the author which makes it all the more captivating.
emotional
inspiring
fast-paced
4.5 stars. A survival story growing up with an abusive mother told from one of five siblings. Truly a story of the strength of the human spirit.
This memoir is heartbreaking but also a good reminder to me, as someone who grew up in a very loving home, that not everyone is as fortunate. Although, I can not imagine a parent treating their children this way, it happens everyday.
The issue with not being able to finish this is completely mine, as I'm having a really hard time with this one. I don't think I am cut out for memoirs of painful, abusive childhoods. I really don't.
I only got several dozen pages into this, but that was enough. I have no tolerance for a mother calling her young daughters sluts and whores. I know this sort of situation happens (I've worked in the child abuse and domestic violence fields) and I'm thankful that Regina is able to now use her experience to help other children in similar circumstances, but this one is just too emotionally trying for me. Sorry.
I only got several dozen pages into this, but that was enough. I have no tolerance for a mother calling her young daughters sluts and whores. I know this sort of situation happens (I've worked in the child abuse and domestic violence fields) and I'm thankful that Regina is able to now use her experience to help other children in similar circumstances, but this one is just too emotionally trying for me. Sorry.
Didn't love the format of starting in one spot, then flashing back for most of the story, then catching up to the starting place, and moving beyond, but that is pretty nitpicky, I suppose.
Overall, I liked the story. The author made you really care about the kids in this family, made you angry at how the system can't save kids from dangerous environments, how siblings are split up, how kids just age out, how kids are told what they will never be able to do or accomplish based on who they were born to, of which they have no control... This book will make you care. Yes, at times it drags a bit, feels repetitive, but it's still a good book. I should feel thankful that I can be annoyed by the repetitive nature of it, rather than having had to have lived through what she lived through. (And I am thankful!)
Good story. Especially if you're curious about what kids in the system might experience.
Overall, I liked the story. The author made you really care about the kids in this family, made you angry at how the system can't save kids from dangerous environments, how siblings are split up, how kids just age out, how kids are told what they will never be able to do or accomplish based on who they were born to, of which they have no control... This book will make you care. Yes, at times it drags a bit, feels repetitive, but it's still a good book. I should feel thankful that I can be annoyed by the repetitive nature of it, rather than having had to have lived through what she lived through. (And I am thankful!)
Good story. Especially if you're curious about what kids in the system might experience.