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4.59 AVERAGE
4.59 AVERAGE
This was a really compelling read. I liked how the stories were intertwined with passages of the quran. It highlights the "single story" problem that Chimamanda Adichie talks about. I'd like to read many more stories of Muslim butches so this story is not the only accessible example.
A really beautiful book, that I thought would be pretty niche but turned out to be one of the most universal things I’ve ever read. In the midst of getting acquainted with all the differences (from me) in her identities, I quickly connected with the sense of introversion, of a rich and contemplative inner life that’s maybe common to avid readers more than anything else. Lamya’s way of digesting and relating to the world is really familiar, even if none of her other traits are, and that’s such a gift to a reader- seeing yourself in entirely new places and spaces and even bodies, without the need to suspend disbelief.
Paradoxically though, I’m not exoticising her, because the other defining trait of this book is how well it brings you into compassionate conversation with yourself. Reading so many of the familiar (tired) and novel responses (objections) to Lamya’s various identities from people in the stories allows the reader to confront those ideas themself- not be confronted by them. Probably because Lamya’s own responses tend to be quiet or internalized, we go on the journey with her, mulling over what it all means and how it feels and what we would have done, could have done, should have done in response. This is such a subtle but masterful trait of this wonderful book.
Weaving together stories from the Quran with her narrative was a deft way to broaden both. Not having been brought up with religion, I was amazed at how I still recognized nearly all the stories from my spotty cultural osmosing of Christianity. (A bit of a pet peeve of mine, how similar religions are from the outside yet engage in so much persecution of each other.) And Lamya is so thoughtful in broadening the context of these stories by talking through her own processing of them- so the universality isn’t just in noticing parallels but in the experience of grappling with things until they make sense.
Lastly, because it seems to be such an issue, writing this memoir anonymously to be feels like it actually brings the reader in rather than creates distance. Because this isn’t someone I can google and slot away somewhere, there’s a sense that this could be anyone- someone I already know, or the next person I meet on a bus, or a friend of a friend I haven’t bothered to talk to at a party yet. Those possibilities feel expansive create the sense that this person, people like this, are everywhere. Which of course, they are. Which is a really wonderful thing to take away from a book about otherness.
Paradoxically though, I’m not exoticising her, because the other defining trait of this book is how well it brings you into compassionate conversation with yourself. Reading so many of the familiar (tired) and novel responses (objections) to Lamya’s various identities from people in the stories allows the reader to confront those ideas themself- not be confronted by them. Probably because Lamya’s own responses tend to be quiet or internalized, we go on the journey with her, mulling over what it all means and how it feels and what we would have done, could have done, should have done in response. This is such a subtle but masterful trait of this wonderful book.
Weaving together stories from the Quran with her narrative was a deft way to broaden both. Not having been brought up with religion, I was amazed at how I still recognized nearly all the stories from my spotty cultural osmosing of Christianity. (A bit of a pet peeve of mine, how similar religions are from the outside yet engage in so much persecution of each other.) And Lamya is so thoughtful in broadening the context of these stories by talking through her own processing of them- so the universality isn’t just in noticing parallels but in the experience of grappling with things until they make sense.
Lastly, because it seems to be such an issue, writing this memoir anonymously to be feels like it actually brings the reader in rather than creates distance. Because this isn’t someone I can google and slot away somewhere, there’s a sense that this could be anyone- someone I already know, or the next person I meet on a bus, or a friend of a friend I haven’t bothered to talk to at a party yet. Those possibilities feel expansive create the sense that this person, people like this, are everywhere. Which of course, they are. Which is a really wonderful thing to take away from a book about otherness.
challenging
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
So human, warm, informative and full of grace.
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
an introspective and intimate account of Lamya’s life as a queer Muslim immigrant. i’m grateful that this exists, but i found the writing itself to be repetitive and monotonous, making it hard to immerse myself in. it felt like a first draft which made for a less enjoyable reading experience than i was anticipating, but i’m glad to have read it and would still recommend you read it if you’re interested.
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
Must-read! Truly amazing and beautifully written. Definitely changed my perspective and brought me a lot of joy. 1000/5.
I was never going to stop fighting for what I believed in, but I needed to fight differently. Only fight with people I'm invested in and care about, and who are coming to the conversation with genuine openness and curiosity. […] I learned to pick my battles.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia, Racism, Xenophobia, Islamophobia
Moderate: Suicidal thoughts
adventurous
challenging
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
challenging
funny
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
This book had a gripping narrative the whole way through, with excellent framing tying each chapter to the Quran and showing how interpretation of religion is a deeply personal and intimatw affair between you and your faith. I think this is a book that should become an essential read for queer people, an exercise in reflection on biases within the community, colourism/ racialization, and the way white queer people can further isolate non-white people in a place they should feel safe and heard.
emotional
hopeful
reflective
relaxing
fast-paced