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klc56's review against another edition
dark
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Loveable characters? Yes
4.0
It’s a well written book which I enjoyed but wouldn’t read again. The descriptions of abuse are very detailed and can make you uncomfortable at times- I understand this is the point though. I do agree with the writer up to an extent that we allow stuff to happen to us and we can stop them if we can. Also on the fact that things just happen without reason sometimes but it does matter ! Anyways good book but I’m glad I finished it
Content Warnings
Graphic: Violence, Sexual assault, Injury/Injury detail, Physical abuse, Suicidal thoughts, and Bullying
sweetsxrrxw's review against another edition
dark
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
this was both my first kieko kawakmi book and the first book i've read after a very long slump. to avoid falling back into a slump, i kinda overstimulated myself and i decided to read the english edition (while listening to the audiobook) and also the spanish one. and yeah i feel like this hyperstimulation made me understand the book better although i noticed a couple differences between the editions which me feel like ??? the most jarring one was by the end of the book: while in the spanish edition the narrator has seen his biological mother and, therefore, knows she had a lazy eye too, in the english edition he doesn't. and i thought that's such a small but important detail because it can build or destroy a solid reason to explain his choices.
anyway, have i enjoyed reading this? pretty much! would i reccomend the book? hmmm, it depends; not to everyone, that's for sure. and, of course, check the trigger warnings, because most of them are pretty graphic.
i believe on the main points of the story was to show us a somewhat flat character surrounded by differing opinions on what to do or how to cope with his situation and which one was better to settle for. personally, i like reading stories about characters facing hardships and their choping mechanisms to deal with them and i don't dislike stories that talk about bullying. and i really enjoyed the premise of two hurt people bonding over fear. their friendship was beautiful and, even though it didn't suffer huge changes, it was nice to see how it evolved with time and how they found a safe space in each other's company.it's a shame that by the end of the book they never got to meet again
but definitely my favorite part was the second half of the book.i just felt so many emotions while reading it. the volleyball bullying scene was totally the most devastating one in the book and i felt a knot in my stomach while reading it (i even had to take a little pause before i kept reading). however that same gut-wrenching scene led to many outstanding scenes such as the portrayal of the kids' philosophies. while i did not specially agree with their ways, i understood kojima and momose's opposed ideals. i mean, they both made good points at some part of their monologues.
oh and i think one of my favorite relationships in the book was the one the narrator had with his stepmom. at first she seemed like a distant person but by the end of the book both mother and son could find some kind of comfort in each other. and trust me, i was so so happy when he finally told her about the bullying and she made him change schools and later also supported him in the surgery process.
as for the last scene, it was a perfect bittersweet ending to the story.once again i felt so happy that the main character was healed and saw the beauty of some parts of the city he used to hate so much. but at the same time it was heartbreaking to realize he didn't have anyone to share that beauty with :(
i feel like this could have been a 4 star read if it wasn't for a couple reasons:
anyway, have i enjoyed reading this? pretty much! would i reccomend the book? hmmm, it depends; not to everyone, that's for sure. and, of course, check the trigger warnings, because most of them are pretty graphic.
i believe on the main points of the story was to show us a somewhat flat character surrounded by differing opinions on what to do or how to cope with his situation and which one was better to settle for. personally, i like reading stories about characters facing hardships and their choping mechanisms to deal with them and i don't dislike stories that talk about bullying. and i really enjoyed the premise of two hurt people bonding over fear. their friendship was beautiful and, even though it didn't suffer huge changes, it was nice to see how it evolved with time and how they found a safe space in each other's company.
but definitely my favorite part was the second half of the book.
oh and i think one of my favorite relationships in the book was the one the narrator had with his stepmom. at first she seemed like a distant person but by the end of the book both mother and son could find some kind of comfort in each other. and trust me, i was so so happy when he finally told her about the bullying and she made him change schools and later also supported him in the surgery process.
as for the last scene, it was a perfect bittersweet ending to the story.
i feel like this could have been a 4 star read if it wasn't for a couple reasons:
- the two scenes where we get a fairly detailed description of the narrator, a 14 year old, masturbating.
like yeah i understand how he does it only to calm down when he is feeling super tense and distressed but they could have totally been black out scenes. - i know i said the philosophy of some characters was interesting (and so is the polarity between them) but.. they're 14. i think at that age one might be able to think of some of those points, but it would have felt more truthful if they were, at least, two years older.
but yeah, overall, i think it's a worthy read!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Medical content, Physical abuse, Blood, Ableism, Bullying, Injury/Injury detail, Violence, and Suicidal thoughts
Moderate: Eating disorder, Self harm, Sexual harassment, and Suicide
capybea's review against another edition
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Bullying, Cursing, Physical abuse, and Sexual harassment
barath_6023's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Physical abuse and Bullying
Moderate: Blood, Torture, and Violence
jovanas_cloud's review against another edition
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
It was underwhelming and anticlimactic.
I feel Kojima is the biggest contributor to the things I didn't like in the book. Her philosophy of Heaven, her philosophy on why they're being bullied, her reasons for being dirty, etc. To explain further, I don't understand what she wanted to say with renaming the painting because the actual name felt underwhelming. Her philosophy that they're being bullied because they're allowing it, is true to some extent because they never tried to fight back (which was easier for her to fix). The reason for being dirty, would be a great topic if she got some kind of help. I understand she misses her dad but not performing basic hygiene like showering, washing clothes or just not being dirty in general because she's trying to be closer to her dad who is dirt poor and away working hard, IS A HUGE PROBLEM. It is such a serious problem that she even starts starving herself by the end of the book. I just refuse to believe that her mom didn't intervene in all like she must've smelled her at one point.
Another nonsensical thing I would like to bring up is the nihilistic conversation between the MC and Momose. First of all, not only is so dumb but the big words and theories these 14 year olds are using just seems very unlikely to happen. Like yeah it makes sense that a bully doesn't see why it's wrong to bully others but to have such big philosophy and so many points??
The culmination - I was just waiting for something big and dramatic to happen, it was always so close until it happened and the consequences were anticlimactic.All that happened at the Whale park with Ninomiya bullying them to strip and have sex, and after that Kojima never interacts with the MC again because he wants to get surgery for his eye?? Again she is clinging to the past and to what's comforting to her even if it makes her and other's miserable. She's disappointed because he's doing something to have an easier and more comfortable life when she could do the same more easily and cheaply too.
The last chapter was really underwhelming. I was hoping to get some more results with what happened at school, with Kojima, Ninomiya, and Momose, but got nothing of that sort. Just MC moving forward with his new sight.
I love bullying and trauma bonding works Kawakami somehow managed to get nothing done. The friendship felt rather shallow most of the time, except the gym scenewhere they were wiping MC's blood after he got kicked so hard in the head multiple times because he was a ball. If only Kawakami went deeper and harder, this would've been much better.
I feel Kojima is the biggest contributor to the things I didn't like in the book. Her philosophy of Heaven, her philosophy on why they're being bullied, her reasons for being dirty, etc. To explain further, I don't understand what she wanted to say with renaming the painting because the actual name felt underwhelming. Her philosophy that they're being bullied because they're allowing it, is true to some extent because they never tried to fight back (which was easier for her to fix). The reason for being dirty, would be a great topic if she got some kind of help.
Another nonsensical thing I would like to bring up is the nihilistic conversation between the MC and Momose. First of all, not only is so dumb but the big words and theories these 14 year olds are using just seems very unlikely to happen. Like yeah it makes sense that a bully doesn't see why it's wrong to bully others but to have such big philosophy and so many points??
The culmination - I was just waiting for something big and dramatic to happen, it was always so close until it happened and the consequences were anticlimactic.
The last chapter was really underwhelming. I was hoping to get some more results with what happened at school, with Kojima, Ninomiya, and Momose, but got nothing of that sort. Just MC moving forward with his new sight.
I love bullying and trauma bonding works Kawakami somehow managed to get nothing done. The friendship felt rather shallow most of the time, except the gym scene
Content Warnings
Graphic: Physical abuse, Hate crime, Blood, Bullying, Body shaming, Injury/Injury detail, Ableism, Sexual harassment, and Violence
Moderate: Suicidal thoughts and Eating disorder
Minor: Death
For moderate, ED is not because of issues with body images but a way of coping for the character. Suicidal thoughts are mentioned several times.slimfolly's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.5
A surprisingly engaging story. I wouldn't say that I'd be interested in a story about a teenager, but I was tempted because of the author. A very sad and helpless story that forces you to feel uncomfortable. I am grateful that I had the opportunity to read it.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Torture, Violence, Suicidal thoughts, and Physical abuse
moongelli's review against another edition
dark
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.25
"middle schoolers at their worst"
near-dnf but completed since it was a short read, i saw it to the end.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content, Bullying, Blood, Suicidal thoughts, Eating disorder, Ableism, Violence, and Toxic friendship
Moderate: Sexual harassment, Medical content, Physical abuse, and Classism
Minor: Eating disorder, Gaslighting, Fatphobia, and Vomit
nee_shelf's review against another edition
hopeful
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? N/A
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Violence, Ableism, and Physical abuse
Moderate: Self harm, Abandonment, Emotional abuse, Toxic friendship, Classism, and Suicidal thoughts
1989ruth's review against another edition
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Eating disorder, Injury/Injury detail, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Bullying, Physical abuse, Violence, Suicidal thoughts, and Self harm
rachellen's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
**** SPOILERS AHEAD ****
I really liked this story and the first person perspective that wasn’t too informal.
I was sad that Kojima never took the lead to heaven! (I also only now realise that the lead’s name is never provided, only what his bullies call him, which feels pretty representative of how he feels invisible in the world). Though, this could have been entirely metaphorical and something not fated for their relationship. If the lead followed Kojima directly in her self-destructive rebellions to her bullies and mother/step-father, which to me read sadly as self-harm fuelled by a desire to have some control in her life after her family and bullying situations, he may have truly followed her to heaven but only in death. He contemplates suicide rather seriously, discussing suicidality and suicidal ideation. Both are in tragic situations, but the lead’s decision to discuss his eyes led to their separation, because he wasn’t following Kojima anymore. He often just says yes I understand, without understanding, but not knowing how to express that. I think this was right, to separate, but it was heartbreaking. I wonder whether Kojima receives help.
The relationship between Kojima and the lead narrator is interesting to me, because whilst they found solace in one another’s company I did find that it was under Kojima’s perspective of what terms their relationship required to flourish. I found it really sad that Kojima failed to understand that the lead’s opportunity to receive a medical procedure to improve his eye condition was about his quality of life, to see the word, not metaphorically but in actuality, as everyone else did. It was not just about aesthetics. The lead never looks in the mirror, this saddened me. He frequently mentions how he injures himself due to double vision, his pains, how it affects him. This reminds us of the character’s ages, as though the lead is often remarkably wise or realistic, they both are only children and are attempting to navigate very difficult situations and lives.
It was clear to me that the lead wouldn’t intend to change or ‘become a sheep’ after surgery after his bully tells him that he wasn’t bullied for his eyes, but because he happened to be in their sight. It was apparently just bad luck (which was a horrible gaslighting monologue to read but showed how the bullies did not even care to give a reason nor explanation outside of philosophical drivel that made them feel intelligent to harm weak people in a survival of the fittest sense, which is laughable considering it was 1v5?). It made me sad for Kojima, because she isolated herself from her only friend when he never intended on leaving her. I felt the lead had love for her. Even without his eye condition, he knew he would get bullied or be isolated socially anyway and remain the same as her.
The relationship I truly favoured was that of the lead and his step-mother. They have no blood relation, but do marital, and at first it seems they are rather cold with one another but then you grow to realise that they are actually just remarkably comfortable and similar to one another. When the mother gets hurt, quite badly, she noticeably plays it down and wishes to suffer alone, telling the lead to not tell his dad or accompany her to the hospital. She even laughs during the ordeal, and the lead has to clean the blood up once more. She only accepts company in her suffering when the lead offers to come with her to her sister’s funeral as the father wasn’t going. I couldn’t help but think that the lead learnt a sense of amiability or desire to suffer in silence from the mother and the very absent father. I was happy at her response about the bullying, as the bullies had made him believe he would be fucked to tell anyone, but he was not. In many ways, though dreadful, the climax of the story meant he could not hide what was happening to him anymore. He was forced into daylight. The character feels so very real. I suppose he is existent in many people’s lives.
I really could go on and on, I just found it to be such an interesting read. I recommend ‘Heaven’, as I do any Mieko Kawakami work!
I really liked this story and the first person perspective that wasn’t too informal.
I was sad that Kojima never took the lead to heaven! (I also only now realise that the lead’s name is never provided, only what his bullies call him, which feels pretty representative of how he feels invisible in the world). Though, this could have been entirely metaphorical and something not fated for their relationship. If the lead followed Kojima directly in her self-destructive rebellions to her bullies and mother/step-father, which to me read sadly as self-harm fuelled by a desire to have some control in her life after her family and bullying situations, he may have truly followed her to heaven but only in death. He contemplates suicide rather seriously, discussing suicidality and suicidal ideation. Both are in tragic situations, but the lead’s decision to discuss his eyes led to their separation, because he wasn’t following Kojima anymore. He often just says yes I understand, without understanding, but not knowing how to express that. I think this was right, to separate, but it was heartbreaking. I wonder whether Kojima receives help.
The relationship between Kojima and the lead narrator is interesting to me, because whilst they found solace in one another’s company I did find that it was under Kojima’s perspective of what terms their relationship required to flourish. I found it really sad that Kojima failed to understand that the lead’s opportunity to receive a medical procedure to improve his eye condition was about his quality of life, to see the word, not metaphorically but in actuality, as everyone else did. It was not just about aesthetics. The lead never looks in the mirror, this saddened me. He frequently mentions how he injures himself due to double vision, his pains, how it affects him. This reminds us of the character’s ages, as though the lead is often remarkably wise or realistic, they both are only children and are attempting to navigate very difficult situations and lives.
It was clear to me that the lead wouldn’t intend to change or ‘become a sheep’ after surgery after his bully tells him that he wasn’t bullied for his eyes, but because he happened to be in their sight. It was apparently just bad luck (which was a horrible gaslighting monologue to read but showed how the bullies did not even care to give a reason nor explanation outside of philosophical drivel that made them feel intelligent to harm weak people in a survival of the fittest sense, which is laughable considering it was 1v5?). It made me sad for Kojima, because she isolated herself from her only friend when he never intended on leaving her. I felt the lead had love for her. Even without his eye condition, he knew he would get bullied or be isolated socially anyway and remain the same as her.
The relationship I truly favoured was that of the lead and his step-mother. They have no blood relation, but do marital, and at first it seems they are rather cold with one another but then you grow to realise that they are actually just remarkably comfortable and similar to one another. When the mother gets hurt, quite badly, she noticeably plays it down and wishes to suffer alone, telling the lead to not tell his dad or accompany her to the hospital. She even laughs during the ordeal, and the lead has to clean the blood up once more. She only accepts company in her suffering when the lead offers to come with her to her sister’s funeral as the father wasn’t going. I couldn’t help but think that the lead learnt a sense of amiability or desire to suffer in silence from the mother and the very absent father. I was happy at her response about the bullying, as the bullies had made him believe he would be fucked to tell anyone, but he was not. In many ways, though dreadful, the climax of the story meant he could not hide what was happening to him anymore. He was forced into daylight. The character feels so very real. I suppose he is existent in many people’s lives.
I really could go on and on, I just found it to be such an interesting read. I recommend ‘Heaven’, as I do any Mieko Kawakami work!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Vomit, Physical abuse, Injury/Injury detail, Bullying, Gaslighting, and Blood