Reviews with content warning for Gaslighting - One to Watch

Reviews tagging 'Gaslighting'

One to Watch by Kate Stayman-London

10 reviews

sefrahudman's review

emotional funny lighthearted fast-paced

5.0

This book was so good! It was funny and had me laughing out loud so many times. It pulled all the heart strings and made me miss when I used to watch the Bachelor. Only complaint was there was a bit more swearing than I wanted, but over super entertaining book!

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anwolf213's review

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fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.25

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ohheyitskaitlin's review

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emotional funny hopeful inspiring lighthearted medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Content Warnings

kingrosereads's review against another edition

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emotional reflective tense slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.75

I want to preface that this book lacked trigger warnings. Like you can assume some fatphobia (internalized and external) in books with plus sized main characters, but this definitely should’ve had some kind of warning.

I have to say I was EXTREMELY disappointed with this book. It’s marketed as this plus-sized, body positive Bachelorette-esque romcom and that is not what we got AT ALL. Starting off I saw a lot of people recommending One to Watch if you liked If the Shoe Fits by Julie Murphy. I also saw a lot of people recommending this book over If the Shoe Fits. And I definitely love Murphy’s plus-sized, body positive Bachelor-esque romcom over One to Watch.

I’m not going to do an in-depth comparison of the two books but I will say if you ACTUALLY want a plus-sized women who is confident in her body and has a heartfelt romance with chemistry, then definitely read If the Shoe Fits.

I felt like my own insecurities as a plus-sized woman were exploited in this book. I was anxious and irritated and upset throughout the whole book. So if that’s the vibe you’re looking for, then I guess by all means, read this book. But if you’re a plus sized woman and you struggle with self-esteem and body image issues or you’re currently struggling with the idea you’re lovable because of your size, don’t read this. Like seriously it would be an act of self-care to avoid this book.

So our “heroine” is plus-sized fashion blogger, Bea Schumacher. Bea’s described as being on the taller side of the average for women, apple shaped, and a size 16. Which is the average size of American women, so she’s really mid-sized. She’s also white and cishet. Bea’s currently in the throes of heartbreak over a guy she’s “been in love with” for 10 years, Ray, her “best friend”. Now Ray and Bea used to work together, and he’s never expressed interest in her except on drunken night when he kisses her before he moves to the other side of the country with his fiancé. Then he visits Bea and they sleep together (EVEN THOUGH HE’S ENGAGED) and then he ghosts her for 9 months.

Now she and her friend, Marin, love the Bachelorette-esque show…um….hold on let me look what it’s called…oh, the show’s called Main Squeeze. And yes, I JUST finished this book after finishing it in a day, and I forgot the name of the show the main character is on during the whole book. That should say something. Anyway, Bea and Marín love this show despite its complete lack of diversity (all white cishet and conventionally attractive people on it). Bea tears into the show for this and is eventually asked to me their next “Main Sqeeze” (aka their Bachelorette). She demands that the contestants be diverse in race and body size. And in the end there’s one plus sized guy (who’s personality was creepy…so way to go with presenting plus size people as desirable people. I mean he served a purpose on how even plus side dudes are dicks to big women) and 24 other men from athletically lean to gym rat buff (is it really so hard to have a bear of a man? You know the strong ones that are a little soft?). And of course there’s some black and Asian contestants thrown in there.

Throughout the book Bea deals heavily with fatphobia. One contestant fetishizes her, one doesn’t even meet her as he takes one look at here at the meet and greet and he just leaves the show, three of them want to “fix her”, one pretends to be interested until he’s booted off and really rips into Bea and her body, and a bunch of them outwardly mock her (call her a “cow” and look at her with disgust). There were literally 4 men on that show that weren’t revolted by her or fetishizing her. And one was asexual and aromantic and the another cheated on her!

The ENTIRE time she doesn’t think any of these men like her and they’re only there to get on the spin-off shows and/or build up clout. And honestly, even I was questioning their genuineness. She was advertised as being super confident and comfortable in her body, but she absolutely was not! She constantly accused these men of lying when they told her they wanted her. It just stressed me out and I genuinely could not see any chemistry between her or any of the guys. I liked Sam but he was immature. And I thought Asher was uptight and intense after knowing Bea for five seconds. I like some of the contestants and side characters individually, but couldn’t see Bea with any of them especially given her severe insecurities.

The three final contestants are Luc, Sam, and Asher. Luc is a Frenchman. Sam is black. And Asher is Jewish and Chinese. But shit, you wouldn’t remember that Sam or Asher were POC after they’re first mention. All the talk about how problematic the show is and how it’s had a problem with racism and homophobia in the past, yet the author couldn’t write two characters of color with more substance? Or avoid stereotypes with 2 of the queer contestants?

Oh that’s right! It turned out that Luc is bisexual and one of the other contestants is asexual, then Asher’s kid in gender non confirming. But all of these things are just mentioned in passing and just seemed thrown in there just for the sake of it being there. Not to mention that Luc’s bisexuality is played off as contributing to his promiscuity and unfaithfulness. Then there’s Marin who I JUST remembered is a lesbian. She’s just a side character that has like 3 scenes in the whole book. And her sexuality isn’t really mentioned after her introduction. Then at the VERY END she gives a flirty smile to Bea’s stylist???

I did think it was beautiful that Bea was able to realize her worth and accept she was worthy of love and to choose herself. But damn the journey was frustrating as hell. It honestly should’ve ended with her doing her own thing and MAYBE the epilogue could’ve been like “3 years later” and it insinuate that she was going to start something with the guy she ends up with.

After the scenes with Bea’s mom, I really can’t tell if Bea actually wants a family and husband or if she only wants it because her mom pushes that on her and she sees how happy her brothers have made their parents with their wives and kids.

Stayman-London really leaned into the French stereotypes with Luc. Like he’s overly flirtatious, sleeps with anyone with a pulse, and is unable to be monogamous. Just completely ridiculous.

I don’t know how I was supposed to root for Bea after she slept with Ray when he was engaged. Like I get having self esteem issues and allowing someone treat you like shit because you should “be so lucky” someone’s paying attention to you and willing to sleep with you (trust me I’ve BEEN there, but I was also 16-19 years old at the time, Bea’s 30). But there’s really no excuse for this. Like Bea was hoping that something would happen when he visited. And I’ve known guys like Ray, the ones that treat women with low self-esteem like trash then leave them and then only “want” them when the women are happy and in a relationship. It’s because they KNOW how the woman feels about them and the don’t want to be with them, but they want to make sure they’ve got that side piece on lock. I was SCREAMING at Bea for being an idiot about this man. Like it was so infuriating.

Also, Bea is mid-sized, which is a new term and does fall under plus-sized, and it’s not to say she didn’t face bullying, but to not have friends or romantic relationships because of her size? Ridiculous. Plus, there’s a scene that lists Bea’s grocery delivery and 90% of her food was junk food that she bought in BULK. Just screams stereotypical big girl. I’m not saying she wasn’t allowed to eat like a human, but my god! How can you preach in your book that we all come in different sizes despite diet and exercise regiments then basically blame Bea’s size on her diet and the fact she doesn’t exercise PERIOD?

Also, not a fan of the chapterlessness (??) of this book. I rely on chapters to get me to stop reading. Otherwise, I’ll just keep going or stop in the middle of scenes.

That being said, I did like the mixed media format. I’ve seen it before, but I REALLY liked how it was executed in this book.

And I’ll admit, I was here for some of the drama, but so much of that drama (like 90%) was a direct knife into Bea’s back and that pissed me off. Like I get that’s was these realities shows are like (which is one of the many reasons I hate reality TV), but it was just so unnecessary for a a book advertised as a romantic comedy. To be clear, I hate these kinds of shows in real life, but have found I like them in romcom novels, just not this one.

I also think the fatphobia was portrayed accurately. Stayman-London really nailed the passive forms and violent forms of fatphobia.

It gets points for being grammatically correct, it’s mixed media format, it’s accuracy on its portrayal of the various forms of fatphobia, and I guess for eliciting a strong emotional response from me. But I could’ve gone without reading this book.

Content Warnings

katsbooks's review

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lighthearted fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Plot
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.0

“No, Beatrice, it's the hardest thing in the world. To have been that hurt, to feel that afraid, and to know that the only way you can be really, fully happy is to risk going through it all again.”

I really enjoyed the fat representation in this book. It's literally the reason I picked it up and, on that front, it didn't disappoint. I felt like I connected with the main character in a lot of ways. As someone who also navigates the world in a plus-size body, I found it refreshing to see the insecurities and fears that I've represented in a main character. That being said, it could also make it a little hard to read for me. Throughout the book, there are a lot of fatphobic comments and narratives. They are used to show the hateful things the main character goes through but some of them were incredibly triggering for me. I almost DNF'd the whole thing at one point because I had enough of a reaction to one of the "articles'' that were included as a response to Bea's announcement as the next "Main Squeeze." So if you are sensitive to explicit and derogatory fatphobia, please don't read this. I wish I would have seen a more sincere trigger warning for it before I dove in. While I didn't love experiencing the fatphobia, I did really love every clapback to it. It was so satisfying to hear someone say everything I wish I could in moments like those. Overall, this was a fun, flirty read with good commentary on the fatphobia in the media and fashion industries. My rating has more to do with that I've never been a huge fan of any kind of "The Bachelor"-esque TV. While this book was definitely entertaining, I realized that what I think I don't like about these types of shows is how a person can go from one date to another while all these people are vying for their love. Everytime I imagine myself in that kind of situation, I can't help but feel... I don't know, second-hand guilt? I've never been one to date more than one person even casually so I don't love the whole set-up. That being said, no shade to anyone that does. I definitely get the draw. My dating preferences are mine alone, obviously. If you're looking for something on the lighter, romantic side, this is a decent choice.

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jenny_librarian's review against another edition

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fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0

It started all right, but halfway through it went down in giant flames that make me say only two things: romance is a waste of time, and men are absolute trash.

The number one reason I rated this so low is the arophobia. Listen, I understand that many romance novels will have some level of amatonormativity. It's fine, I prepare myself beforehand. I thought this one would be better, because I heard about the aroace rep (which isn't as much rep as it is one of the guys figuring out he's aroace and being kicked off the show that very week, despite being one of only two viable choices at that point...). It's not. The entire book is filled with little digs that will make any romantic person feel like absolute shit. And when I say filled, I mean it's almost on every single page!
And that's not counting the acephobia that is just as present. Bea herself, the very chapter after being completely fine with one of the guys coming out as aroace (probably because she didn't have feelings for him) freaks out and believes none of the guys love her because two of them refused -- with VERY VALID REASONS -- to spend the night. That part alone destroyed all the good the small bit of rep could have done.

As I said, it started well enough. Up to midpoint, I was ready to give this a 4 stars -- with heavy TW. But it turns out that every single man (except one) she kept past that midway point was absolutely awful.

Luc is such a stereotype that I feel bad for French people. He's also the only pansexual character... whom the author also made sleep with everyone. Again, what could have been good rep completely obliterated by shitty plot points.
Asher is jealous and was horrible to her every single time anything happened with another guy. Dude, you can't be possessive on a freaking romance TV reality show! Huge red flag
And let's not even talk about Ray.

The only guy she had chemistry and a truly good relationship with, she let go because... they never argue?

The straights are not okay.

It's a shame that it was such a shitshow because there was some really good commentary about fat women and the way society treats them. The main character was realistic and I was really rooting for her, up to the moment it just dissolved into garbage.

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readwithde's review against another edition

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emotional funny hopeful inspiring lighthearted fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.25

Plus-sized fashion blogger becomes the next "bachelorette" for a reality dating series; what could go wrong?

When I first heard about One to Watch, I was both intrigued and scared: would it be inspiring or another fakeout for this plus-sized reader? I was so scared of it belittling the main issue for the sake of romance that I waited nearly a year to read it, but I'm so glad I gave it a chance.

It takes a special book for me to read it in 3 days or less, but I finished One to Watch in just over a day, less than 30 hrs. Everything was so real, so down to earth; nothing was whitewashed or covered up. Though I initially felt disconnected to Bea, I grew to love and understand her.

Her relationships with the guys was all secondary to me; the real story was the growth each character made in order to be more of themselves, to lean into their unique identity and own that, which is still a needed and relevant topic, even in this highly tolerant era.

The book showcased diversity in race (white, asian, french, black), sexuality (aro/ace, non-binary, bi, lesbian) and sex positivity, social dynamics (farmers, lawyers, coaches, bloggers, celebrities, teachers, doctors), and obviously size.

The story handles all of this with grace and sensitivity and reality, which you wouldn't expect from a romance/rom-com novel based on the premise of a Bachelor-esque reality show. This book challenged me and suprised me, and I hope to become a brave and accepting of my body and identity as Bea became with hers.

Content Warnings

lucyhargrave's review against another edition

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funny lighthearted fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0

Content Warnings

expressivekim's review

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emotional funny hopeful slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0

I had super high expectations for this book, and went into it wanting it to be a new favorite. However, I found it really hard to get into the love story when the main character spent most of the book lamenting on how men couldn't love her because of her size, feeling uncomfortable in her own body, and watching her be thrown into impossibly tone-deaf scenarios by a straight-sized character. I hated that the

producer ended the book in a positive relationship with Bea. The sleeping around aside, it always felt like she was manipulative and it never was properly addressed

.

I did really like Bea as a character. I thought she was funny and smart and relatable outside of the hatred she had for her fatness. I feel like as a fat person, I spend so much of my day having to navigate a fat-phobic world, and it was kind of triggering to read a book that so blatantly forced fat-phobia into your face. In those moments, the book went from a fun and relaxing read to something that required work and actively checking myself for negative thoughts. I personally would've rather seen an unapologetic plus size character and not had intensely triggering vitriol be thrown in. Although I respect the book that was written and can see why the author wanted to write it that way, in the very least the book description could've provided a warning about how intense the anti-fat rhetoric is for a lot of the book, both for the main character internally and for the wider plot.

Overall, the book was well written and it has a lot of cute moments. It holds up as a rom-com, and I did like how it ended. I think the intentions were good in the "learning to love yourself" and "being fat isn't bad" pieces of the plot, but ultimately it just wasn't what I was hoping to find when I picked this up. This would be better suited to someone straight sized trying to understand what it's like to live in a fat body, or a fat person who is just starting their journey into acceptance and self-love. For a person who had put in the work to love themselves and push back against fatphobia - this won't be a fun, lighthearted read.

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memorable's review against another edition

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adventurous emotional reflective slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

I think this book highlights a lot of important topics while being completely realistic in terms of reality shows. I’m not a huge fan of those; therefore, it was a bit too much drama for me. Nevertheless, I loved the different characters and representation in this book! Sometimes, it’s even painful to read but knowing that people actually say and believe these things makes it so important!

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