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vickylovesreading's review against another edition
adventurous
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.5
vickyisaac's review against another edition
adventurous
hopeful
mysterious
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.0
corhea22's review against another edition
2.75
I wanted to enjoy this because my teenager did but it was a struggle to finish. Some parts were interesting but, as a whole, it just was 't my jam.
myjourneywithbooks's review against another edition
adventurous
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
2.5
dandelionsteph's review against another edition
This is the author's debut novel, and it certainly shows. Yes, everyone has to start somewhere, but this book feels inadequately polished in terms of pacing, sentences, worldbuilding, and style.
What I've seen feels less like a finished book and more like a good first draft the editors failed to properly tighten up. I even spotted a few typos in the first 89 pages. Yes, even the books of established or big-name authors can have occasional typographical errors, like one comma that's not in quite the right font or a hard-to-spot homophone misspelling (I won't name names, but those aren't hypothetical). However, early on in the book, there are a lot of sentences that don't read quite right because of misplaced punctuation (e.g., poor placement of commas), and there are also some odd formatting choices ("NoGlow" instead of "No Glow" or "No-Glow"). Page 89 has a very conspicuous lack-of-quotation-marks error, too.
While the prologue was intriguing, as was the first chapter, later chapters have a temporally choppy feel. That is, the structure of sentences, paragraphs, and chapters make it hard to tell how much time is passing. Perhaps the lack of timekeeping in this setting (as far as I read it) or signs of the passage of time (e.g., the passing of the sun) were factors.
Some areas or parts of the book have two much detail, and others have too little. There was a prolonged sequence about just getting inside Hok Gwoh. It wasn't particularly interesting because, due to the way the descriptions were formatted, it was hard to understand what was happening.
The book (so far) was fairly high in telling-not-showing sequences, and the explanations of its supernatural elements (e.g., the immortals and how they were immortal) were not satisfying. Not every supernatural element needs to be explained, much less explained before or as they appear, but it didn't feel satisfying or interesting. In fact, the way Crease Cream worked and how immortals age-shifted just felt silly. The silliness felt out-of-place, since there wasn't any silliness before the first incidence of age-shifting.
While it makes sense to start with an interesting, tense sequence of the protagonist trying to break into an office, the stakes of the scene are explained by the character's thoughts, rather than shown. Too much context is shoved in through direct dialogue or thoughts. It would have been better to build up the stakes by living through them.
For example, one could establish that Aapau is important to Zhi Ging without spending too much time on her by having them have a last meal together while Aapau prepares for her Final Year outside the village, have them talk about the results of the exam (or have Zhi Ging try to eavesdrop on a Glassmith conversation about it), have Iridill bully Zhi Ghing, have someone talk to Zhi Ging about the mail pipes as if her working in them was inevitable, and then have her break into the Glassmith office. (And foreshadow her unusual magic, too, to spool out the buildup in a more interesting way) Perhaps she could also have attended the funeral of a kid who drowned in the pipes, instead of just saying that it happened and she feared it.
If you'll excuse the Harry Potter reference - it's a cultural touchstone/widely-known story, despite its infamously prejudiced author - it's kind of like starting Harry Potter with the Boy Who Lived chapter and then skipping to Harry's Hogwarts letter delivery. Like the prologue here, the Boy Who Lived chapter doesn't center on the protagonist (who is similarly a baby at the time, perhaps an orphan), but instead an adult man (Mr. Dursley) who's puzzled about some Dark Lord people keep mentioning. The Hogwarts letter delivery part is when the familiar, not-too-special setting with a miserable orphan child starts getting really weird and the "normal", mean people go to extremes to escape the thing they're afraid of (here, they think Zhi Ging is a spirit summoner, and I think they wanted to kill her).
What I've seen feels less like a finished book and more like a good first draft the editors failed to properly tighten up. I even spotted a few typos in the first 89 pages. Yes, even the books of established or big-name authors can have occasional typographical errors, like one comma that's not in quite the right font or a hard-to-spot homophone misspelling (I won't name names, but those aren't hypothetical). However, early on in the book, there are a lot of sentences that don't read quite right because of misplaced punctuation (e.g., poor placement of commas), and there are also some odd formatting choices ("NoGlow" instead of "No Glow" or "No-Glow"). Page 89 has a very conspicuous lack-of-quotation-marks error, too.
While the prologue was intriguing, as was the first chapter, later chapters have a temporally choppy feel. That is, the structure of sentences, paragraphs, and chapters make it hard to tell how much time is passing. Perhaps the lack of timekeeping in this setting (as far as I read it) or signs of the passage of time (e.g., the passing of the sun) were factors.
Some areas or parts of the book have two much detail, and others have too little. There was a prolonged sequence about just getting inside Hok Gwoh. It wasn't particularly interesting because, due to the way the descriptions were formatted, it was hard to understand what was happening.
The book (so far) was fairly high in telling-not-showing sequences, and the explanations of its supernatural elements (e.g., the immortals and how they were immortal) were not satisfying. Not every supernatural element needs to be explained, much less explained before or as they appear, but it didn't feel satisfying or interesting. In fact, the way Crease Cream worked and how immortals age-shifted just felt silly. The silliness felt out-of-place, since there wasn't any silliness before the first incidence of age-shifting.
While it makes sense to start with an interesting, tense sequence of the protagonist trying to break into an office, the stakes of the scene are explained by the character's thoughts, rather than shown. Too much context is shoved in through direct dialogue or thoughts. It would have been better to build up the stakes by living through them.
For example, one could establish that Aapau is important to Zhi Ging without spending too much time on her by having them have a last meal together while Aapau prepares for her Final Year outside the village, have them talk about the results of the exam (or have Zhi Ging try to eavesdrop on a Glassmith conversation about it), have Iridill bully Zhi Ghing, have someone talk to Zhi Ging about the mail pipes as if her working in them was inevitable, and then have her break into the Glassmith office. (And foreshadow her unusual magic, too, to spool out the buildup in a more interesting way) Perhaps she could also have attended the funeral of a kid who drowned in the pipes, instead of just saying that it happened and she feared it.
If you'll excuse the Harry Potter reference - it's a cultural touchstone/widely-known story, despite its infamously prejudiced author - it's kind of like starting Harry Potter with the Boy Who Lived chapter and then skipping to Harry's Hogwarts letter delivery. Like the prologue here, the Boy Who Lived chapter doesn't center on the protagonist (who is similarly a baby at the time, perhaps an orphan), but instead an adult man (Mr. Dursley) who's puzzled about some Dark Lord people keep mentioning. The Hogwarts letter delivery part is when the familiar, not-too-special setting with a miserable orphan child starts getting really weird and the "normal", mean people go to extremes to escape the thing they're afraid of (here, they think Zhi Ging is a spirit summoner, and I think they wanted to kill her).
Content Warnings
Moderate: Bullying
Minor: Child death and Death
this_little_bookshelf's review against another edition
adventurous
lighthearted
mysterious
medium-paced
4.0
This was a fun little middle-grade fantasy novel with an amazing underwater magical school for a setting. Throw in some found family, an apprenticeship to become an immortal, and a sneaky villain for good measure, and I am absolutely ready for the next instalment!
ginggrr's review against another edition
adventurous
inspiring
mysterious
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Great middle grades adventure with a good bit of Hong Kong thrown in. Enjoyed the story, and will pick up the sequel when it comes out! Many tropes here, with some unique twists like age shifting. Recommended!
plaidelephantky's review against another edition
adventurous
lighthearted
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.5
Fantastic world-building. I loved it. My struggle came from not being able to "hear" the names in my head, which made it a little hard to keep track of things. But that's totally on me!
I'll definitely read more of this series..
I'll definitely read more of this series..
scmiller's review against another edition
Tired of the bullying trope? Feel like it jumped into character’s feelings too fast without proper introduction of world building to understand/be invested about what was upsetting her.