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emily_mh's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.25
On the other hand, I think some other rep and information was not done well. For example, I really wish Nathan had been fleshed out as a character. It kind of felt like Deaver took the stereotypical "golden retriever" LI archetype and left it at that, giving him no motivations or desires unrelated to Ben. While it was obvious Ben and Nathan had a connection, one I was rooting for, it still felt like I barely knew Nathan. This is the book's biggest issue, because I think it is an example of the situation that readers and reviewers of the global majority have been pointing out for ages, where white authors write a LI of the global majority whose only purpose in the book is to assist the white MC in their development. If I am wrong here or out of my lane, I will fully delete this review. I wanted to flag it in case I wasn't.
On top of this, the book presents some misinformation about being gay, ace, and aro. It implies that a nonbinary person like Ben cannot be gay because being gay is about being attracted to the same gender, and as Ben doesn't have a gender, they cannot experience same-gender attraction. In reality, being gay is simply about non-women being attracted to non-women. This is the quote I am referring to:
"And besides, I don’t exactly have a gender, and being gay implies being interested in the same gender."
It also implies that to be ace or aro is to be touch averse, when only some aces and aros are touch averse - it's this very piece of misinformation that means so many aces and aros don't realise they are asexual or aromantic for ages. Literally a simple "some" in this sentence would have fixed this misinformation:
“'Touch aversion can be common in people who deal with panic attacks, or people dealing with anxiety. In fact, there are some people who are just born or develop that way, like asexual or aromantic people.'”
So, yeah. Do with this what you will.
Rep: bisexual NB MC, bisexual LI of the global majority (ethnicity not explicitly stated), Bahraini Shia Muslim pansexual NB SC, Chinese-American SC, SC of the global majority (Ben's therapist Dr. Taylor, whose ethnicity is also not explicitly stated), Black SC (implied, ethnicity not explicitly stated), Korean-American SC with ADHD
Graphic: Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, and Transphobia
Moderate: Abandonment and Cursing
Minor: Ableism, Alcohol, Death, Physical abuse, Drug use, Medical content, Misogyny, Outing, Pregnancy, Sexual content, Domestic abuse, Injury/Injury detail, Islamophobia, Sexual assault, Homophobia, Suicidal thoughts, and Vomit
Major: disownment, misgendering (mostly uninformed as Ben isn't out to most people) Moderate: body dysmorphia Minor: one implied use of the transphobic t-slur, suicidal ideation, off-page use of the homophobic f-slur, 1 HP reference, menstruationleahlovesloslibros's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
This is a hard story of coming out. While some individuals are lucky enough to be accepted by their loved ones, Ben's story is not the same. When they go to live with their sister and her husband, they begrudgingly agree to go to therapy, which may or may not actually be helpful for them. The discussion of mental health, including panic attacks, depression, and anxiety, may be triggering for some, but it is something that is very real to many people, both within the queer community and outside of it. In my opinion, Mason Deaver did a thorough job navigating through the intricacies of being in therapy.
Ben's relationships with their friends, both online and at their new school, presented some complications, both for the characters and for myself as a reader. First off, their best friend lives across the country, which makes it hard for them both to communicate at times. When Ben makes friends at their new school, they feel like they can't be their full self since they are hiding a huge part of who they are (being non-binary). Even through these complications, their friends show up for them, and do their best to make Ben feel loved and included. Deaver wrote the teen narrative in a convincing way, although I wish there would have been a bit more depth to the side characters.
Perhaps the most difficult thing that Ben struggles with, though, is dealing with their parents' disapproval. After they were kicked out of their house, they didn't know what that meant for their relationship with their parents. While part of Ben missed their parents and desperately yearned for their acceptance, another part of them couldn't imagine still loving them or even being in their lives, knowing that they didn't reciprocate that unconditional love. This complex situation presented Ben with many conflicting feelings throughout the book.
There is much to be learned about being non-binary, no matter how much you already know. The fact that this book was written by a non-binary author makes it that much more alluring because we can see some of the struggles that non-binary individuals face through the eyes of an own voices author. That said, remember that everyone's story is different, so just reading one book will not give you all of the information that you need to know.
While I mostly enjoyed this book, and it was definitely a quick read, there were some things left to be desired, especially regarding the relationships between Ben and some of their friends.
Rep: Non-binary MC, BIPOC SC
Graphic: Cursing and Panic attacks/disorders
Moderate: Alcohol
Minor: Child abuse, Drug use, and Sexual content
Additional TW/CW: parents kicking child out because of lifestyle, misgendering, smoking reference, depression/anxiety, underage drinking, Harry Potter referencesreading_between_the_trees's review against another edition
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Graphic: Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, and Transphobia
Moderate: Domestic abuse, Physical abuse, and Toxic relationship
Minor: Cursing and Sexual content
Misgendering occurs throughout the book.mezzano's review against another edition
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
There are many darker and sadder themes in this book, showcasing a side to queer stories which isn't always light-hearted and fun. The main character starts their journey calling an estranged sister after being their parents kicked them out for being nonbinary. The main character, Ben, finds themselves navigating their past traumas, mental health, and relationship with family all while trying to do well academically and socially. The part of this aspect of the story I found most empowering and realistic was that Ben's mental health recovery was not linear. Ben had good days and bad days, despite resources meant to aid them. This is something I have longed to see portrayed realistically in a young adult book, and I'm thrilled that it was done so masterfully here.
At it's heart, I Wish You All the Best is a hopeful story about coming into your own. Once Ben moves to Rayleigh, they are surrounded by a family that accepts them, friends who adore them, and a therapist who helps Ben learn how to navigate their feelings and struggles. While Ben struggles for the most of the book to decide who else (if anyone) they will come out to other than their sister, their sister's husband, and their therapist, this is entirely their decision. Ben is also at the helm of their own recovery process, choosing options which they feel is best for them. As Ben grows more familiar with students at the school, they even grow particularly close to a student named Nathan. This blossoms into a loving and deep relationship slowly over the course of the book.
Be warned: This book appears to be written before much of the JKR controversy occurred surrounding trans rights. Harry Potter is mention several times throughout the book. This book is also open about Ben's previous trauma they faced at home with abusive parents, and they are mentioned and have a role in the story beyond the first chapter.
Graphic: Transphobia
Moderate: Child abuse and Mental illness
Minor: Sexual content
Abortion is briefly discussed as an option for a supporting character. Ben's parents are verbally abusive and have a history of physical abuse. Misgendering is frequent in this book, due to Ben staying quiet about their identity at school. This is also a theme for supportive characters, who do not fully recognize their own microaggressions (not thinking deeply about the lack of gender neutral changing rooms in stores, etc.). Ben's parents are so opposed to trans and nonbinary youth that they kicked Ben out of their home. Harry Potter is frequently mentioned in a positive or casual way in the book. Ben appears to have an anxiety disorder and is medicated for it. He goes to counseling but still has panic attacks. They are taught to use grounding techniques which are used.