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d34nn3_29's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
relaxing
slow-paced
5.0
amber_lea84's review against another edition
I literally threw this book in the trash.
sandylovesbooks's review against another edition
4.0
It took me a long time to read this. First, it is a library book and it is in such bad shape that I did not want to bring it home. So when I was at work I would read a little at a time. Second, being in such bad shape I didn't want to pick it up so I would touch it and have to go wash my hands. Yuck. But I did read a few things that were so true and so right about myself. It was the only book in the area that I could check out so I had to read this one. I would love to get a better copy so I can read it and focus on the words and not have to disinfect myself.
rosepetals1984's review against another edition
1.0
I think the hardest thing about writing this review was figuring out why this book annoyed me so much for the subject matter it addressed. It should've been something I received well given the subject matter and its intents as a self-help book, but the more I read it, the more I ended up reading mixed messages within it.
I tend to pick up self-help/health/wellness guides at random in many different aspects - social wellness, spiritual wellness, physical and emotional wellness among a number of different factors, and I do it for a variety of different groups - women's health being a strong interest of mine as well. The title of this made me raise my eyebrows, though I've heard in social/health circles about the dominance of "nice girl" or "nice guy" syndrome - where people described as such are associated as being passive, overly accommodating, and inattentive to their own needs for the sake of pleasing others. Also for being unable to say "no" in a healthy way. It's a real issue not limited to gender, but in this particular work - Beverly Engel addresses it with respect to abusive/manipulative relationships and addresses the matter to women. That's a fair topic to cover given her background as a psychotherapist and addressing sexual abuse and women's health issues. But I think juxtaposing this particular work with others on the same topic, it pales in comparison and falters more often than not.
It's a book that attempts to be blunt in a "tough love" sort of way, but I couldn't get over how it comes across with victim blaming - type statements and negative talk throughout the text. It sounds more patronizing than encouraging women to develop healthier esteem habits and assertiveness. The fact that a section of this book is entitled "Strong Women Aren't Nice" made me want to throw the book against the wall. Well, Mrs. Engel, if I may state for the record: Strong women aren't "mean" either. I think strength has more to do with how one applies and assert themselves for what they want in life.
Skip this one. There are much better texts out there that are encouraging and help women become stronger about themselves emotionally, spiritually, and assertively than this text. For a so called "feminist" text, it's really horrible.
Overall score: 1/5 stars
I tend to pick up self-help/health/wellness guides at random in many different aspects - social wellness, spiritual wellness, physical and emotional wellness among a number of different factors, and I do it for a variety of different groups - women's health being a strong interest of mine as well. The title of this made me raise my eyebrows, though I've heard in social/health circles about the dominance of "nice girl" or "nice guy" syndrome - where people described as such are associated as being passive, overly accommodating, and inattentive to their own needs for the sake of pleasing others. Also for being unable to say "no" in a healthy way. It's a real issue not limited to gender, but in this particular work - Beverly Engel addresses it with respect to abusive/manipulative relationships and addresses the matter to women. That's a fair topic to cover given her background as a psychotherapist and addressing sexual abuse and women's health issues. But I think juxtaposing this particular work with others on the same topic, it pales in comparison and falters more often than not.
It's a book that attempts to be blunt in a "tough love" sort of way, but I couldn't get over how it comes across with victim blaming - type statements and negative talk throughout the text. It sounds more patronizing than encouraging women to develop healthier esteem habits and assertiveness. The fact that a section of this book is entitled "Strong Women Aren't Nice" made me want to throw the book against the wall. Well, Mrs. Engel, if I may state for the record: Strong women aren't "mean" either. I think strength has more to do with how one applies and assert themselves for what they want in life.
Skip this one. There are much better texts out there that are encouraging and help women become stronger about themselves emotionally, spiritually, and assertively than this text. For a so called "feminist" text, it's really horrible.
Overall score: 1/5 stars
lilsuccubus's review against another edition
2.0
A lot of great insights and advice, unfortunately overshadowed by rampant transphobia and an undercurrent of victim-blaming. Engel doesn't seem to have learned that gender is socially constructed, and that women have nothing inherently in common except for being human. Women are not "innately" or "biologically" anything. That's the jurisdiction of chromosomes, hormones and reproductive organs, not gender. Patriarchy, on the other hand, has everything to do with gender. Engel weakens the entire book by confusing gender with non-gender. She also falsely and offensively claims that men cannot be raped.
ewolf's review against another edition
5.0
There is much in this book to take in and is likely to be my reread for the coming year. It is true that "nice" gets females nowhere in this day in age. Including in careers. Though the author primarily focuses on relationships with significant others the information is helpful with those beyond that. The examples are extremes of what is normally seen everyday and what many females do.
It is a book I would recommend to many.
It is a book I would recommend to many.
cyndil's review against another edition
5.0
I think this book should be required reading for all women. It is direct and concise and easy to read so even people who don't like to read much will not have a difficult time getting through it. If I had a daughter, I would ABSOLUTELY insist that she read this book.