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neglet's review against another edition
Really compelling protagonist faced with a horrible predicament between family and identity. Could anticipate most of the plot developments, but still got involved because the tension was so high.
sarah_grey's review against another edition
2.0
I really wanted to like this more. There are parts I loved, but I feel like the violence portrayed were seriously underplayed, looked over, and brushed under the rug in favor of a whiny romance that was only months long.
christinavarela's review against another edition
4.0
This book was much darker than I was expecting. I appreciate the bi-cultural conflicts. I wonder was the ending unrealistic?
fallingletters's review against another edition
4.0
Brief thoughts originally published 24 May 2020 at Falling Letters.
Super condensed one sentence summary: After Rukhsana’s parents catch her kissing her girlfriend, they fly her to Bangladesh to secure her a husband.
The Love & Lies of Rukhsana Ali is the most intense book I’ve read in a long time. It is not humorous in any way. It contains no shortage of upsetting scenes. If you have particular triggers, I encourage you to check this book’s content warnings before picking it up.
It’s also a story so far removed from my own experiences that I actually thought “I can’t review this”. Usually, when I review a book where the main character has an identity/identities different from my own, there’s still a lot for me to talk about beyond the portrayal of their unique experience. But there’s so much going on in this story that is beyond me. Rukhsana’s story is a deeply personal one about a girl at odd with her parents in a way I never have and never will experience. That being said, I think I can say:
I don’t usually comment based on what other reviewers have said, but I’ve seen a lot of reviewers say they found the writing uneven and all over the place, so for the record: I didn’t notice that at all.
The Bottom Line: Not sure how to sum this one up. The Love & Lies of Rukhsana Ali tells a queer Muslim story in a visceral and painful way but isn’t without hope.
Original thoughts after reading: Wow that was an intense story to read in one sitting. Not your average contemporary YA.
Super condensed one sentence summary: After Rukhsana’s parents catch her kissing her girlfriend, they fly her to Bangladesh to secure her a husband.
The Love & Lies of Rukhsana Ali is the most intense book I’ve read in a long time. It is not humorous in any way. It contains no shortage of upsetting scenes. If you have particular triggers, I encourage you to check this book’s content warnings before picking it up.
It’s also a story so far removed from my own experiences that I actually thought “I can’t review this”. Usually, when I review a book where the main character has an identity/identities different from my own, there’s still a lot for me to talk about beyond the portrayal of their unique experience. But there’s so much going on in this story that is beyond me. Rukhsana’s story is a deeply personal one about a girl at odd with her parents in a way I never have and never will experience. That being said, I think I can say:
Spoiler
Although the conclusion is perhaps unrealistic or a bit of a stretch, it’s nice to have hope that a family who goes through so much pain and so many terrible experiences can still learn and grow and heal together.I don’t usually comment based on what other reviewers have said, but I’ve seen a lot of reviewers say they found the writing uneven and all over the place, so for the record: I didn’t notice that at all.
The Bottom Line: Not sure how to sum this one up. The Love & Lies of Rukhsana Ali tells a queer Muslim story in a visceral and painful way but isn’t without hope.
Original thoughts after reading: Wow that was an intense story to read in one sitting. Not your average contemporary YA.
sbelasco40's review against another edition
3.0
3.5 stars. I thought the premise of this and the details about the Bengali family were great, and this is definitely a kind of story you don’t see depicted much in YA. But there was so much covered in this, from the intersection of conservative religious beliefs and queerness to hate crimes to sexual assault, and it felt like none of these super complex subjects quite got enough time on the page to be fully developed. I mostly just wanted more. This was particularly true towards the end, where a number of truly horrifying things are revealed or occur quite quickly, and then are sort of brushed aside for the sake of Rukshana reuniting with her family and her girlfriend. I just kept wondering why she even wanted to have anything to do with her family after all the terrible things they put her through — imho it would have been more interesting and perhaps realistic to have her actually leave her family and rely on found family instead, which is in fact what happens to many queer people who have families who don’t understand or accept them.
sidneyellwood's review against another edition
4.0
This book packed a huge punch. I wasn't expecting such a ride when I cracked it open, but The Love and Lies of Rukhsana Ali was brutal in its events. It centers around a young Bengali lesbian living in a conservative Muslim family and her struggles after being taken to Bangladesh for an arranged marriage, and Rukhsana's story was a lot to read.
Rukhsana was by far the most well-written out of all the characters. A lot of the book shows her experience of being caught between two cultures, Bengali and American, because both cultures have shaped her to be who she is. I wasn't expecting such a in-depth thought-provoking discussion of what it's like to straddle different cultures. It's clear Rukhsana, most of the time, loves being Bengali. We get so many wonderful descriptions of Bangladeshi food and the city of Dhaka, Rukhsana and her friend Shaila shopping for saris and shalwar kameez with Rukhsana describing how beautiful they are. Yet there are painful parts to it too, just as there are painful parts to being in American culture. Rukhsana makes a point that she doesn't want to be a representation of her culture, that she doesn't want her culture to be seen negatively because it's more than homophobia.
The rest of the characters were all fairly one-dimensional, especially when it came to Rukhsana's parents. The book shows that there are many open-minded Bangladeshis, like Shaila and Sohail. Rukhsana's parents are not one of them, and for most of the book they absolutely infuriated me. I felt like they had almost no nuance to them: for most of the book, they were staunchly against Rukhsana trying to escape Bangladesh by forcing her into an arranged marriage, and absolutely demonized to the point where it didn't seem like they would be getting any redemption. I wasn't super into Ariana and Rukhsana's romance, either; it felt like they had no chemistry.
The plot took a long time to get rolling. It felt like barely anything was happening for the first one hundred and fifty or so pages. A lot of the reason behind this, I think, is the writing, which feels choppy and disjointed throughout the whole thing. Also, there's so much telling rather than showing: Rukhsana telling you her emotions, backstory being told by Rukhsana instead of weaved through the story, and a very direct way of writing that I had a problem with. It took a long time to get used to, and even then, I felt very emotionally disconnected from Rukhsana even though her story itself was incredibly engaging. Yes, the book was sad, but it was the events and not the narration that did it for me. One event in particular, near the end of the book, made me hugely uncomfortable.
However, I think that The Love and Lies of Rukhsana Ali is definitely a book that people should read. We don't get many books about queer South Asians, and this book centres on queer South Asians and how difficult it can be, but also shows that there is hope for queer South Asians to be themselves.
content warning: sexual assault, homophobia, Islamophobia, domestic violence,
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Rukhsana was by far the most well-written out of all the characters. A lot of the book shows her experience of being caught between two cultures, Bengali and American, because both cultures have shaped her to be who she is. I wasn't expecting such a in-depth thought-provoking discussion of what it's like to straddle different cultures. It's clear Rukhsana, most of the time, loves being Bengali. We get so many wonderful descriptions of Bangladeshi food and the city of Dhaka, Rukhsana and her friend Shaila shopping for saris and shalwar kameez with Rukhsana describing how beautiful they are. Yet there are painful parts to it too, just as there are painful parts to being in American culture. Rukhsana makes a point that she doesn't want to be a representation of her culture, that she doesn't want her culture to be seen negatively because it's more than homophobia.
The rest of the characters were all fairly one-dimensional, especially when it came to Rukhsana's parents. The book shows that there are many open-minded Bangladeshis, like Shaila and Sohail. Rukhsana's parents are not one of them, and for most of the book they absolutely infuriated me. I felt like they had almost no nuance to them: for most of the book, they were staunchly against Rukhsana trying to escape Bangladesh by forcing her into an arranged marriage, and absolutely demonized to the point where it didn't seem like they would be getting any redemption.
Spoiler
Yet they did at the end, and their views changed like whiplash, which was really jarring. I don't know how to feel about it - on one hand I felt it was really unrealistic, but on the other hand, it was cute and heartwarming to see her family understand her sexuality and accept Rukhsana for who she is.The plot took a long time to get rolling. It felt like barely anything was happening for the first one hundred and fifty or so pages. A lot of the reason behind this, I think, is the writing, which feels choppy and disjointed throughout the whole thing. Also, there's so much telling rather than showing: Rukhsana telling you her emotions, backstory being told by Rukhsana instead of weaved through the story, and a very direct way of writing that I had a problem with. It took a long time to get used to, and even then, I felt very emotionally disconnected from Rukhsana even though her story itself was incredibly engaging. Yes, the book was sad, but it was the events and not the narration that did it for me. One event in particular, near the end of the book, made me hugely uncomfortable.
However, I think that The Love and Lies of Rukhsana Ali is definitely a book that people should read. We don't get many books about queer South Asians, and this book centres on queer South Asians and how difficult it can be, but also shows that there is hope for queer South Asians to be themselves.
content warning: sexual assault, homophobia, Islamophobia, domestic violence,
Spoiler
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bdfarber13's review against another edition
2.0
I didn't finish this one. Too bored. I'd love to see queer Muslim representation, but this didn't do it for me. The writing feels flat. The characters feel flat. The story as far as I got was fairly uninteresting, and after looking at reviews, I am glad I won't be reading about the violence.
I usually really like reading about immigrant experiences, and definitely queer stories.
It seems this book resonates, especially for queer Muslims and other queer people, which is great. I hope we get more of it and for myself I hope it is a bit more engaging.
I usually really like reading about immigrant experiences, and definitely queer stories.
It seems this book resonates, especially for queer Muslims and other queer people, which is great. I hope we get more of it and for myself I hope it is a bit more engaging.
alaina11's review against another edition
4.0
4.5! if i knew what this book really had in store i would’ve read it a lot faster. this book is utterly heartbreaking but it seems to put the pieces right back together. i could complain but i don’t even want to. i loved it i loved it i loved it
shanipatel's review against another edition
5.0
this made me smile and cry (multiple times). appreciated this so much as a queer south asian ya lover. shout out to nanis who are always in your corner !! ~ 9/10