Reviews

Do You Have Kids?: Life When the Answer Is No by Kate Kaufmann

eeeeeeee's review against another edition

challenging emotional hopeful informative fast-paced

4.0

Overall I really liked this book, and I found it helpful.  Towards the end it drags a bit, with a lot of talk of money that I didn't resonate with, but it's an important topic and I'm sure some will be interested in it.  I recommend to people who are childless/childfree and to people who have children who are interested in feeling kindness to those of us who don't or can't.

brittster622's review against another edition

4.0

As a person who has had several miscarriages and still no children, I am constantly keeping my eye open for books that deal with this topic. Do You have Kids had a very unique take on this area. The book shares many stories of women in a plethora of situations that have caused them for one reason or another to be childless. Through their stories you get a sense of what a family is and many of the struggles that come with not being a part of a community that is so socially normal and expected. It was refreshing to me to hear of women who just never wanted to have children and how they found fulfillment in other ways. The author also shared some statics here and there that I found very interesting. I did find it hard to tell whether the author was talking or whether the people she was interviewing were talking at times. Overall, I enjoyed the experience and found it very enlightening.

animemiz24's review against another edition

5.0

This is an informative book on the perspective about woman who don't have kids whether it is by choice or for health reasons. A term that was used in this book is nonmom. This book presents different chapters begin with a presentation of facts with notes at the end of the book for references. Then the chapter is filled with anecdotal experiences of woman from age 30 and up who share their story. There is an tradition where women who are childfree are stigmatized and this goes into the traditions of civilization and with woman's liberation in the last century, having children or not is a reality that affects woman. This is a book that is important for woman who are living life without children and toward later chapters there is a guide for how to structure conversations or small talk between women who have children and those who are child free. Thanks to Netgalley for providing this book.

jlfields925's review against another edition

3.0

Overall I liked this book. I found the pieces in the first and last third the most interesting. The middle went into details and topics to me that weren't as interesting (I'm not religious, I'm not interested at this point in living in an alternative community at this point in my life).

My perspective is that of a mom who experienced years of infertility. I thought her talking points at the end were really solid, particularly her suggestions for what moms should and shouldn't say. Her advice on the planning piece was good too.

I'd recommend it, and would tell you not to feel bad about skipping chapters that don't interest you.

I do wish that it had been inclusive of male perspectives. (Certainly women are asked this more, but still).

parker00's review against another edition

4.0

“A woman without kids is also more likely to be single, employed in a professional or managerial occupation, own her own home (often in a city), and be the only child in her family of origin.”

Oh hey, that’s me! Minus owning a home, of course.

I started reading this book late last year and have picked it up now and again to enjoy a couple chapters at a time.
I enjoyed the author’s personal story about not having children and the research quoted about women/reproduction/social stigma/childless by choice or by chance etc.

There were a few chapters that stuck out to me; aging while childless and family legacy. This book further solidified my choice to not have children while also reminding me of other ways I can leave a legacy and impact on the world and my community.

I also appreciate some talking points and conversation advice she gives to non-moms.

angelintherye's review against another edition

challenging emotional funny hopeful informative inspiring lighthearted reflective sad medium-paced

4.75

rachelb36's review against another edition

3.0

3.5 stars

[T]here's no good word in the English language for a woman who hasn't had children. Every term invokes what we're not, not who we are. (6)

The first half of this book was really interesting - really, just a collection of stories of women who don't have kids, for various reasons.

I appreciated the chapter on friendship, since I have had a friend tell me that she only wanted friends with children and then promptly stopped talking to me...

"People will say, 'You have so many friends.' When I'm struggling I want to say, 'Well, I have to, because I only get little teeny bits and pieces. If you've got x number of friends and each of them can only see you a few times a year... that may not be enough for a basic level of human contact.'" pp 65-66, contributed by Una

As the book continued on, I struggled to stay interested. It switched from sharing different womens' perspectives into "how to be childless" instructions. Some of the later chapters discuss health concerns (apparently women without children have a higher risk of certain types of cancer, and the author seemed personally offended about this), religion (this chapter didn't say much of anything), and end-of-life decisions regarding care and to whom/what the childless will leave money.

I think this book could be an eye-opener for those with children, though, and give them just a little more understanding for friends/family members who don't have children.

"Who we are is not the antonym of being a mother, and our options and lifestyles do not imperil motherhood in any way. Rather, we represent a complementary dynamic of what it is to be women of a different ilk." p 219

julieh46's review against another edition

emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

4.0

mama_bug's review against another edition

5.0

I had the great privilege of receiving an advance copy of this book and am thrilled to report that this book is unlike any I've ever read.

Kate's book is oriented around women without children, but it is an eye-opening guide for those of us with children and how to relate those who don't. The women's stories are captivating, heartbreaking, hopeful, and joyful...all at the same time. For the number-lover, this book is chock-full of stats and studies, bringing a different side of the conversation to life.

This is a must-read for women going through infertility, women searching for an identity without a child, women who never felt validated in her choices to stay child-free, and anyone who knows a woman without children (we all know someone...1 in 5 women don't have kids!)

kathrynhmm's review against another edition

challenging emotional informative inspiring reflective fast-paced

4.0

A collection of stories told by women without children, interspersed with reflections and information from the author. Refreshingly nonjudgmental and accepting of different ways of living with or without kids, by choice of by chance. Very very informative and eye opening.