Reviews tagging 'Physical abuse'

De avond is ongemak by Lucas Rijneveld

32 reviews

inceptionistbooks's review against another edition

dark sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

“Sadness doesn’t grow, only the space it takes up” 

Well, the title fits. It really isn’t a fun read, please take care and look at the trigger warnings beforehand! I’m not even sure that I got all of them below. 

If you hate questionable characters, this is not a book for you. The characters here are grieving and have found no way of working through that grief in a healthy way. So we see a family breaking further apart (because the issues were there before the loss) and Jas, the narrator, is consumed by her own grief and her own thoughts. It’s so clear that she has so much that she wants to talk about with someone who will hear it but no way of knowing how to or with whom. Her inner monologue has these moments which are almost heart-breaking in their simplicity but clearly show that she is barely holding it together (because she’s a child with no emotional support whatsoever). Her being constipated really is just an analogy for the fact that keeping shit in will just make things worse. Yes, it’s a major thing in the book and it is gross about it, so be aware of that as well. 

I’m very unsure how necessary certain elements were since I have the impression that it would have worked even if they weren’t included. I also wasn’t happy with the ending since it left you just feeling worse with no hope in sight. But I can’t necessary fault the author for going this route. 

This is one of those books that I could analyse to pieces because it is certainly well thought out but I would have to reread it and that won’t happen any time soon. This is HEAVY and I need something fun after this. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Animal cruelty, Animal death, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Incest, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, and Excrement

Moderate: Death, Eating disorder, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Toxic relationship, Antisemitism, and Toxic friendship

paltrindome's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.25

“We find ourselves in loss and we are who we are - vulnerable beings, like stripped starling chicks that fall naked from their nests and hope they'll be picked up again.” 

 

On a rural farm in the wintry Netherlands lives a family of six — ten-year-old Jas, her parents, and three siblings — defined by their unwavering faith in God and the simple agricultural life they have resigned themselves to. When the eldest son Matthies dies while ice skating, the family’s deceptively mundane and normal lives are shaken up as they suffer blow after blow compounding their dysfunctional relationships. At its core, The Discomfort of Evening is about grief, specifically the grief and trauma that haunt the family grappling with Matthies’ death, the foot-and-mouth disease that strikes their farm, and a seemingly unrelenting God they continue to worship. Jas’s mum retreats into herself and gradually stops eating; her dad becomes increasingly violent and distant from his wife; her sister Hanna acts out; her brother Obbe grows to torture animals. But the most afflicted by Matthies’ death is Jas. 

 

This is where the novel shines. Jas, convinced she is to blame for her brother’s death, dons a red coat and for the rest of the novel, refuses to take it off. Rijneveld never explicitly states why she does so but that is intentional. Her coat shields her from thoughts of her brother’s death (however futile it may be) and like how she is swallowed up by the increasingly dirty jacket, she is soon trapped in her own thoughts, obsessed with a search for an answer that was never there to begin with. 

 

“ ‘One day I’d like to go to myself,’ I say quietly, pushing the pin into the soft flesh of my navel. I bite my lip so as not to make a sound, and a trickle of blood runs down to the elastic of my pants and soaks into the fabric.” 

 

Jas’ despair manifests in her heightened desire to leave her community with Hanna, her souring friendship with Belle, and her weird childlike fixation on Jews hiding in her basement from Nazis. In Rijenveld’s novel, however, trauma is more complex, more ambiguous, and perhaps more unusually focused on the disquieting symptoms of grief. There are some genuinely subversive and sexual scenes in the novel, made only more unsettling when you remember Jas is ten years old.

In two separate incestuous incidents, Jas, Obbe, and Hanna explore their bodies together and Obbe’s cruelty towards animals translates into violence against his sisters. In another, Jas watches Obbe insert an artificial insemination kit for cows into Belle, captured in detail through Rijneveld’s writing.

 

However, the explorations of sexuality and violence are not necessarily gratuitous — the scenes serve as Rijneveld’s comment that grief can be repulsive, something that simply cannot be categorised as sadness or anguish. Nevertheless, Rijneveld also depicts the more conventional nature of grief.

By the end of Act 2, the family’s cows are slated to be slaughtered due to the foot-and-mouth disease, and Jas’ father and Obbe display more emotion here than at the loss of Matthies. Her father’s bottled emotions spill over, leading to an outburst where he protests the killings with bible verses.

 

However, the pacing of the first two acts was undermined by the novel’s final act, which lulled in places and writhed slowly towards the ending. After the “climax” of the slaughtered cows, there wasn’t anything particularly notable in Act 3. Trauma that had already been well established was examined again and near the last twenty pages, I was left wondering how Rijneveld would conclude the novel.

Jas’s suicide is a very tragic but natural way to end the novel, but the scene where she decided to do so felt so rushed and ruined what could have been a dreadful scene to behold. That may be the point — that there isn’t a specific breaking point for Jas — but the way it was written left me with a sense of “Oh, that’s it?” instead of a looming fear of her death.

The third act thus felt, at best, unnecessary, or at worst, contrived to the point that it tarnished the well-crafted exploration of intergenerational religious trauma. 

 

This isn’t to say I regretted reading The Discomfort of Evening. I just wish the ending struck as much of a chord in me as the first 100 pages did. Months after reading this novel, I still have conflicting feelings towards the novel. Grief is rarely so simple, but perhaps it’s best captured in Rijneveld’s own words: 

 

“Lots of people want to run away, but the ones who really do rarely announce it beforehand: they just go." 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Incest, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, and Suicidal thoughts

Moderate: Animal cruelty, Animal death, Death, and Self harm

Minor: Suicide

whatadutchgirlreads's review

dark tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? N/A
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Animal cruelty, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Self harm, Suicide, Excrement, Grief, and Sexual harassment

thirdtimesacharm's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Animal cruelty, Animal death, Child death, Death, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Incest, Physical abuse, Sexual content, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Excrement, Grief, and Toxic friendship

Moderate: Self harm, Sexism, Antisemitism, Abortion, and Alcohol

ireri's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Gore, Physical abuse, Violence, Religious bigotry, Suicide attempt, and Sexual harassment

talin's review against another edition

dark emotional funny reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Emotional abuse and Grief

Moderate: Animal cruelty, Animal death, Death, Physical abuse, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Suicide, Religious bigotry, and Injury/Injury detail

Minor: Antisemitism

wrackcity's review against another edition

sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? N/A
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Animal cruelty, Animal death, Child abuse, Incest, Physical abuse, Rape, and Religious bigotry

Moderate: Bullying, Child death, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, and Blood

thaliasoul's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Animal cruelty, Child abuse, Child death, Death, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Violence, Grief, and Toxic friendship

nataliebeech's review against another edition

challenging dark sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.75

I feel so conflicted by this book because the writing is brilliant, and yet I can’t say I enjoyed it and honestly I’m pretty relieved it’s over. I’m interested in reading books with unusual styles and I think this definitely has that, and Rijneveld writes from a child’s perspective so well, but oh my god is this book bleak. It’s a book that disturbs and challenges and I admire not shying away from how dark childhood and children can actually be, but it does feel like an onslaught of abuse, shit, neglect, body horrors and I’m not sure exactly what to take from it. I also didn’t feel that connected to any of the characters, so the awful things that happened weren’t really emotional for me, just unsettling. It seems maybe like an examination of child neglect and trauma, and it is a tragedy in many ways. If you’re ready for all that then buckle up.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Animal cruelty, Animal death, Body horror, Body shaming, Child death, Death, Emotional abuse, Incest, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Self harm, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, and Abandonment

Moderate: Blood

ferre_smeets's review against another edition

dark emotional sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

Incredibly slow and dark, disgusted by almost everything every character did, but that just shows how good it's written

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Animal cruelty, Animal death, Bullying, Child abuse, Child death, Death, Domestic abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Forced institutionalization, Vomit, Grief, Religious bigotry, Suicide attempt, Murder, Abandonment, Sexual harassment, and Injury/Injury detail

Moderate: Pedophilia

Minor: Cancer, Cursing, Car accident, and Alcohol