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itsolivia's review
5.0
The deal: A bunch of comedic and raw essays from a funny lady, mostly about shitty childhoods, mental health, and well, being alone.
Is it worth it?: You already know. Stuff like this has my name written all over it. Super quick read.
Pairs well with: staying home on Thanksgiving, attachment theory
B+
Is it worth it?: You already know. Stuff like this has my name written all over it. Super quick read.
Pairs well with: staying home on Thanksgiving, attachment theory
B+
jennystout21's review
3.0
3.5 stars. This book started out strong, but kind of petered out in the middle and I kept avoiding finishing it. The basic gist is that Lane Moore was raised in an abusive and neglectful household and was on her own, living in a car, at 18. The first few chapters about not really having a family and not understanding what it's like to have a baseline of love and acceptance in your life and harrowing, but honest and raw. Then she starts talking about her love life and obsession with fairytale romance and she lost me. Her writing style is a very millennial "OMG YOU GUYS ALL CAPS", which is fun in small doses, but after a while is grating. I feel like book didn't really commit to either "going there" in terms of explaining to true extent of what childhood abuse can do to a person (and certainly that's Moore's prerogative if she's not ready to share that), but kept teasing at it and then running away to talk about Jim Halpert. I feel like a shitty person to criticize a book that surely has made others feel less alone, so to be clear, this is just my opinion and others may find the book wonderful. But I really was "meh" about it.
katetay69's review
3.0
COMFORTING
I wouldn't call this a guidebook, its a memoir to make you feel less alone, but it didn't go into heaps of details about how to be alone. Nevertheless I sure enjoyed it. Lane is a funny queer writer amongst many other things and I enjoyed her writing style and the way she expressed things.
TAKEAWAYS:
- pages 7 & 8, talks about the different categories friends fall into when you need help
- Saturday nights are like weekly new years eve's, your supposed to have fun and friends! When you dont have that you feel like you are six thousand miles away from your best life
- We have to erase the idea that if you come from anything less than a good family, you are bad. And if you come from a good family, you're good.
- At times I've struggled to feel seen, to have my history feel seen, to have where I come from feel seen because i turned out great. but that doesn't mean that I am FINE.
- Saying well you turned out great feels like an erasure of her life, instead maybe "I'm so proud of you for turning out great anyway"
- I think many of us are much more sexually fluid than we think we are; were just so scared of what it means and that we have to take action.
- Reminder that being comfortable being alone is healthy as shit so good job you
- Giving yourself permission to hang out with yourself can absolutely be a gift if you can learn to see yourself as an ally. Nothing blooms all year round so if you need to be alone now, thats what you need
- We section off physical comfort and intimacy so heavily. We reserve it for partners only, and platonic friends can only chitchat and thats it. How can you tell people to be okay with being single while also telling them they can only get their basic human needs of physical touch from not being single?
I wouldn't call this a guidebook, its a memoir to make you feel less alone, but it didn't go into heaps of details about how to be alone. Nevertheless I sure enjoyed it. Lane is a funny queer writer amongst many other things and I enjoyed her writing style and the way she expressed things.
TAKEAWAYS:
- pages 7 & 8, talks about the different categories friends fall into when you need help
- Saturday nights are like weekly new years eve's, your supposed to have fun and friends! When you dont have that you feel like you are six thousand miles away from your best life
- We have to erase the idea that if you come from anything less than a good family, you are bad. And if you come from a good family, you're good.
- At times I've struggled to feel seen, to have my history feel seen, to have where I come from feel seen because i turned out great. but that doesn't mean that I am FINE.
- Saying well you turned out great feels like an erasure of her life, instead maybe "I'm so proud of you for turning out great anyway"
- I think many of us are much more sexually fluid than we think we are; were just so scared of what it means and that we have to take action.
- Reminder that being comfortable being alone is healthy as shit so good job you
- Giving yourself permission to hang out with yourself can absolutely be a gift if you can learn to see yourself as an ally. Nothing blooms all year round so if you need to be alone now, thats what you need
- We section off physical comfort and intimacy so heavily. We reserve it for partners only, and platonic friends can only chitchat and thats it. How can you tell people to be okay with being single while also telling them they can only get their basic human needs of physical touch from not being single?
spudsimple's review
3.0
The timing for me and this book was all off. Had I read it in 2018 when it came out, I might have cried through the entire reading of it, given it five stars, bought it and distributed it to everyone I encountered. I truly appreciate Moore's sense of self and ownership, how healing this book appears to be for her, and I would bet money that she is a Pisces (pay up Goodreads, I just verified this on the internet).
But alas, I am a Gemini and 2018 me is way way different from 2023 me (as is our world) and I was having a very hard time connecting to this book. It felt like I was reading old diaries and I was realizing just how sad I was and how little perspective I had.
But alas, I am a Gemini and 2018 me is way way different from 2023 me (as is our world) and I was having a very hard time connecting to this book. It felt like I was reading old diaries and I was realizing just how sad I was and how little perspective I had.
yoe's review
So I thought this was a different book, so that one’s on me. This book is a memoir/ personal essays collection.
Didn’t love it. Didn’t hate it. But next time I should read the blurb first.
Didn’t love it. Didn’t hate it. But next time I should read the blurb first.
lucilleancrath's review
4.0
This 'almost a memoir' is funny and charming and very real at times, but also kind of distant. It can honestly feel like playing a story driven video game, but skipping half the cutsceens. Lane glazes over parts of her life that are probably painful to remember, but because of this we are left in the dark on why some things are the way they are. I bet she could write another 500 page 'Memoir Part 2' about all the things that were left out in this one.
Despite this, I really enjoyed it. I've listened to an audiobook version read by the author herself and it was a great audio experience.
PS, for those who are wondering if this is a self help book, it isn't. I wouldn't even classyify it as that type of memoir that leaves you empowered and motivated. How to Be Alone is simply a witty, feel good, but also sad and confused, but then good again book about one girls journey through life.
Despite this, I really enjoyed it. I've listened to an audiobook version read by the author herself and it was a great audio experience.
PS, for those who are wondering if this is a self help book, it isn't. I wouldn't even classyify it as that type of memoir that leaves you empowered and motivated. How to Be Alone is simply a witty, feel good, but also sad and confused, but then good again book about one girls journey through life.
a_layer13's review
5.0
ANXIOUS PEOPLE - READ THIS BOOK!! I highly recommend the audiobook. Hearing Lane’s sarcasm and sadness and singing voice really amplified her story.
khyson's review
5.0
I'm guessing reviewers who said this was self-indulgent, or too whiney, haven't lived this story.
If you've lived this story, this book is LIFE-BLOOD.
I cannot express the relief of hearing another person put a finger right on the experiences and feelings I'm most ashamed of.
I meant to find the other collection of essays entitled "How to Be Alone." So glad I found this one instead by mistake. The ~ universe ~ knew what I needed more than I did.
Thank you thank you thank you Lane for your courage and the gift you've given all the other non-orphan orphans.
If you've lived this story, this book is LIFE-BLOOD.
I cannot express the relief of hearing another person put a finger right on the experiences and feelings I'm most ashamed of.
I meant to find the other collection of essays entitled "How to Be Alone." So glad I found this one instead by mistake. The ~ universe ~ knew what I needed more than I did.
Thank you thank you thank you Lane for your courage and the gift you've given all the other non-orphan orphans.
jessicarrrabbit's review
5.0
My new favorite book! I agree the title is a bit misleading-this is not a “self help” book it’s a memoir, but for those of you that can relate to the author’s experiences and feelings then it is a self help book. So funny and relatable. I finished the last page and wanted to start reading it all over again. Will definitely be a book I come back to over and over again.