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Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Bullying, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Incest, Mental illness, Misogyny, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Violence, Grief, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Alcohol, Injury/Injury detail
R*pe. That's what this book about. So, if you're uncomfortable with that subject, please don't read the book. Because you'll be so uncomfortable throughout the whole book. And also, if you're a victim, this might trigger you, so please think about all the trigger warnings before reading this.
First of all, I found this on YA section. If someone recommended this to me as a romance book like last time, I would've kicked them with the hard cover book. And I'm also thankful that this was marketed as a YA and not as an adult book. Because teens should read this book too. No matter how hard the topic is, they should be aware of this subject.
Well, I knew this book would be a sad one. To be exact I knew it's related to mental health. Didn't know up to which extent.
I've read enough books that the main character dies and happen really bad things and I don't feel sad at all. But THIS? Oh, my goodness, this. I think this is the best read in my entire reading year. And it's the end of the year, so I think you'll understand how much it'll mean to me. If you've had same kind of experience before, it feels more personal. I think people who have been through sexual harassment will understand what I'm saying. I'm praying no one will be go through such pain ever.
This is a story about a girl named Eden who was 12 years old in middle school when her brother's best friend raped her. He threatened her saying he'll kill her if she talks about it to anyone. And also, he says that "No one will believe you". That's what makes her scarred for life. She used to be a ball of sunshine who helped everyone and smile always. But her smile disappears. How sad that little, small girl dies inside of her. She used to be bullied so much in school because she's the quiet kid. She tries to avoid all those by going to library in the lunch break.
The morning after she got raped, she tries to tell it to her mom. Her mom thinks she just got her period. (Sad stuff) She tries so hard to tell it to others, but words are trapped in her throat. She doesn't have the courage to do so. Just like she tells it "How good it would've been if her parents teach her to stand up for herself instead of accepting it, how good it would've been if her parents could see there's something going on with her, how good it would've been if her parents teach her to fight for herself". I feel the same way too. When something like this happens, you become so numb to a point that you don't know how to express it. How good it would be if those parents had the gut feeling that their only daughter in in danger.
I saw people telling things about Eden's behaviour and all. I don't blame her. Not at all. Yes, she could've fight for herself and try to be the good girl. She could have. But everyone deals with pain differently. Some take the pain and gain more confidence and roar to the world while some do not. Some just shut themselves up and bottle them all inside. Sometimes that bottle gets filled inside through time and burst in the air. But sometimes it stays hidden and keep stinging. I feel bad that there was no one beside Eden to tell her that "it's not her fault" and "she deserves peace". People always notice the wrong things we do but never notice why was the reason for that. And there wasn't a person for Eden that she could've believe.
And I CRIED. It's my first time. As I always say I'm that emotionless bitch who don't cry over books but GOD I cried. Maybe listening to the audio book had an effect on it, because obviously I didn't had time to keep up my thoughts and make myself feel better. And tears fell down voluntarily. Some tears went through my nose, so I pretend I have cold and was wiping down my tears. It fascinates me that I've read so many books where the main character dies, but they never felt that sad. But this touched my heart and even made it swollen. And maybe that's why I decided to give this 5.75 stars because that's the highest number of stars you can give.
It saddens me that this type of things happens so much in the society and people suffer with it without receiving help. That there are many Edens who lost their spark for something they couldn't control.
Graphic: Bullying, Cursing, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Rape, Violence
Moderate: Alcoholism, Drug abuse, Toxic relationship, Toxic friendship, Alcohol
Minor: Adult/minor relationship, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Sexual harassment
Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Bullying, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Bullying, Child abuse, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Murder, Gaslighting
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Drug use, Misogyny, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts
Graphic: Rape, Sexual violence, Violence
Moderate: Addiction, Drug abuse, Drug use
Minor: Adult/minor relationship, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Body shaming, Bullying, Drug abuse, Drug use, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Violence, Gaslighting, Sexual harassment
Minor: Addiction, Alcoholism, Drug abuse, Drug use
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Body shaming, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Grief, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Sexual harassment
Moderate: Addiction, Alcoholism, Bullying, Drug abuse, Drug use, Mental illness, Alcohol
Minor: Vomit
Graphic: Rape
Moderate: Alcoholism, Drug use, Alcohol
Minor: Adult/minor relationship, Cursing, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Vomit, Toxic friendship, Sexual harassment
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Sexual harassment
Moderate: Alcoholism, Bullying, Drug abuse, Drug use, Toxic relationship
Minor: Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Sexism, Suicidal thoughts