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jilianh's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
inspiring
medium-paced
5.0
This book is a masterpiece.
First off, Clementine's experiences alone are so compelling to read. The book really showcases the resilience that the human spirit can have. Often when I am faced with recollections of hardship like this I can't help but think- would I have the strength? Would I have the mental fortitude to survive? I genuinely don't know that I would- it is so far removed from any "hardship" I have faced as a Canadian with a middle-class background. The sheer determination of the sisters, espeically Claire, to overcome any obstacles in any situation and rise above was is beyond inspirational.
First off, Clementine's experiences alone are so compelling to read. The book really showcases the resilience that the human spirit can have. Often when I am faced with recollections of hardship like this I can't help but think- would I have the strength? Would I have the mental fortitude to survive? I genuinely don't know that I would- it is so far removed from any "hardship" I have faced as a Canadian with a middle-class background. The sheer determination of the sisters, espeically Claire, to overcome any obstacles in any situation and rise above was is beyond inspirational.
"I want to make people understand that boxing ourselves into tiny cubbies based on class, race, ethnicity, religion- anything, really- comes from a poverty of mind, a poverty of imagination. The world is dull and cruel when we isolate ourselves.
Survival, true survival of the body and soul, requires creativity, freedom of thought, collaboration. You might have time and I might have land. You might have ideas
and I might have strength. You might have a tomato and I might have a knife. We need each other. We need to say: I honor the things that you respect and I value the things you cherish. I am not better than you. You are not better than me. Nobody is better than anybody else. Nobody is who you think they are at first glance. We need to see beyond the projections we cast onto each other. Each of us is so much grander, more nuanced, and more extraordinary than anybody thinks, including ourselves."
"I've seen enough to know that you can be a human with a mountain of resources and you can be a human with nothing, and you can be a monster either way. Everywhere, and especially at both extremes, you can find monsters."
On top of the story itself, the writing was also fantastic. I am not sure how much was written by Clematine herself vs. Elizabeth, but either way I applaud the work that went into it. As you will notice from this review, there were a ton of standout quotes and I struggled to narrow them down. I loved the timeline structure bouncing between before and after moving to America. This really worked for me because it was still somewhat chronological, but it was more engaging than it would have been to read the entire "America" section straight. This moved the climax to a position that made more sense to me as a reader rather than feeling it was halfway with a very long denoument.
This structure choice also allowed for Clemantine to juxtapose the two worlds. One example that this felt really strong when she is comparing the "black experience" as an African refugee that was taken in by a white upper class family to the experiences of other black Americans or even her nieces and nephews. There are so many strong perspectives presented hitting on themes of belonging, identity, feminism, war, religion, trauma, and more without ever feeling heavy handed at all.
I also really appreciated her honesty in this segment-
"Before long I was instigating debates about the less seemly parts of African culture. I lectured my fellow students at the house about my time living among the women in Malawi, who dropped to the ground when a man entered a space. The women in Zambia taught to roll on the floor after their husbands had sex with them, to express their subservience and gratitude. The Rwandan children beaten before school and their parents calling those beatings kiboko, breakfast.
People grew angry, defensive, and annoyed. My narrative was counterproductive, they said, a white man's view of the African mess. Many of those students had parents who'd sent them to boarding school in England to study, or at least had parents financially stable enough to send them to twelve years of school. I did not want to hear their views
of Africa the beautiful."
She was met with pushback on this in her memory, but I think it is so important that we don't need to pretend flaws within any culture are non-existant, and that we especially need to listen to the voices coming from within rather than those projecting with outsider rose-tinted glasses.
It was interesting to see how her perspective towards men was shaped from so early on by being let down by them and learning to fear them. I thought her thoughts on women in her life being more resilient was fascinating-
It was interesting to see how her perspective towards men was shaped from so early on by being let down by them and learning to fear them. I thought her thoughts on women in her life being more resilient was fascinating-
"Women were used to the idea that they would suffer, that they would feel low. For the men, it was hard to reconcile their expectations and ideas about masculinity with this life. As a result, they overcompensated with wild displays of rage, open affairs."
Some more standout quotes:
"The word genocide cannot help the civilians. It can only help the politician sitting in the UN discussing with all the other politicians in suits, How are we going to fix this problem? These people have commited such horrible crimes. They've suffered such horrible things. They need water, they need food, and oh...
wait... Their attention drifts, time to move on."
"I did not feel lost, as "lost" implies that there's a place where you will feel found and that, for me, did not exist. I was just a feather, molted and mangled, drifting through space. "
"The war had no logic, no direction, no discernible objective, no face. It was everything, everywhere, all at once, and it stood for nothing at all. "
(re: 1998 in the Democratic Republic of Congo)
"Here, too, the preachers were saying that we were sinful. We should be punished. We should pray to God to make the suffering stop. I felt confused. We did not seem to be the sinners, not to me. We lacked food. We lacked water.
People, not God, were causing us pain. Why should we be set on fire?"
tracithomas's review against another edition
5.0
Beautiful writing. Peak vulnerability. The pain of war is piercing and yet still delicate. This book is emotional and yet still cerebral. Fantastic.
lindseysparks's review against another edition
4.0
I somehow read two books about surviving the Rwandan war of 94 in the same week, completely inadvertently. The first was a thinly veiled novel, about someone who got out fairly quickly and went to France. This was a memoir of a woman who was slightly younger, only 6 in 94, who spends years wondering through various war-torn countries separated from her parents. Both were good, but this was more intimate, without the distance that was in the novel. You are terrified right along with her. She also details life after, when she same to America as a refugee. How her experiences as an African do not fit with African Americans. Her pressure to be the perfect refugee, deserving of rescue but not broken. Her story made me grateful for my easy life.
apryls's review against another edition
4.0
This is around 3.75. It's wonderful and poignant and a little heartbreaking, but I wanted more. Some parts were just briefly touched on, and there were occasional time jumps where I wanted more detail.
sungold's review against another edition
5.0
This is easily one of the most valuable memoirs of our time. Brutal, relevant, vexing, refreshing--Clemantine (cleman-TEEN) Wamariya gives us all of herself, her Rwandan, refugee, American self, in a neat package with brilliant intonation and outright honesty.
Recommend for everyone to read.
Recommend for everyone to read.
megatsunami's review against another edition
5.0
If you want a feel-good story with a happy Oprah ending, this may not be the book for you. If you really want to read a book about trauma and its aftermath, this is your book right here. That's not to say there are not moments of triumph and success, just that Wamariya steadily refuses to make things easy for you (the reader). She maintains her right to tell her own, complicated story. And that is a beautiful thing.
ldv's review against another edition
3.0
It feels disrespectful to "really like" a book that outlines a refugee's experience of wandering through seven different countries and struggling to fit in, find herself, to relate with her family. There's no happy ending, no full closure or moral here. It's a slightly detached but real account of the serious struggles a child has and always will have from her experiences of growing up with nothing, not even love or safety.
What I appreciate about the book is that it helped me see a glimpse of what it could be like to be a refugee. Obviously this is one story, told as an adult thinking back to a childhood, and told by someone who eventually "escaped" that world (though it never leaves her) and finds American success. Her pain is real, her relationships are all very hard. She does not know how to handle the brokenness. And who does? She does conclude with realizing it is essential to turn her experience into a narrative for herself. We need to see our lives as a story.
I appreciate the peek into a life that is not my own, an experience I cannot relate to. It leaves me feeling helpless, because I can do nothing to make any of it better. And if I don't recognize that I can't take Clemantine's story and apply it to other refugees, then I've not understood the book either. For example, Claire (her older sister and the only one who went through a similar experience , at least superficially) does not have the same story, the same way of dealing or living. Her mother has a totally different approach again. No one will deal with it the same way. We want simple answers and explanations, to draw lines from A to B. This book tells us that is not possible.
Not a simple read, (not graphic), not an easy situation to digest or accept. But a part of our world.
What I appreciate about the book is that it helped me see a glimpse of what it could be like to be a refugee. Obviously this is one story, told as an adult thinking back to a childhood, and told by someone who eventually "escaped" that world (though it never leaves her) and finds American success. Her pain is real, her relationships are all very hard. She does not know how to handle the brokenness. And who does? She does conclude with realizing it is essential to turn her experience into a narrative for herself. We need to see our lives as a story.
I appreciate the peek into a life that is not my own, an experience I cannot relate to. It leaves me feeling helpless, because I can do nothing to make any of it better. And if I don't recognize that I can't take Clemantine's story and apply it to other refugees, then I've not understood the book either. For example, Claire (her older sister and the only one who went through a similar experience , at least superficially) does not have the same story, the same way of dealing or living. Her mother has a totally different approach again. No one will deal with it the same way. We want simple answers and explanations, to draw lines from A to B. This book tells us that is not possible.
Not a simple read, (not graphic), not an easy situation to digest or accept. But a part of our world.