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3.98 AVERAGE
3.98 AVERAGE
funny
fast-paced
funny
reflective
fast-paced
Will get back to this when I have time!
funny
lighthearted
fast-paced
funny little stories, may read another of his works
“How many grains of sand are there in the world? A lot. Case closed.” (Genetic Engineering)
“It sounds far-fetched, but like a roast forsaken in the oven or a rescheduled dental appointment, childbirth is one of those minor details that tends to slip the minds of most soap opera characters. It’s a personality trait you’ve just got to accept.” (The Learning Curve)
“In other parts of the country people tried to stay together for the sake of the children. In New York they tried to work things out for the sake of the apartment.” (The Great Leap Forward)
“What I really want is a cigarette, and I’m always searching the menu in the hope that some courageous young chef has finally recognized tobacco as a vegetable.” (Today’s Special)
“Unlike the faint scurry raised by fingers against a plastic computer keyboard, the smack and clatter of a typewriter suggests that you’re actually building something. At the end of a miserable day, instead of grieving my virtual nothing, I can always look at my loaded wastepaper basket and tell myself that if I failed, at least I took a few trees down with me.” (Nutcracker.com)
“I caught the highlights of Hugh’s broadcast and understood that my first goal was to make him my boyfriend, to trick or blackmail him into making some sort of commitment. I know it sounds calculating, but if you’re not cute, you might as well be clever.
In order to get the things I want, it helps me to pretend I’m a figure in a daytime drama, a schemer. Soap opera characters make emphatic pronouncements. They ball up their fists and state their goals out loud. ‘I will destroy Buchanan Enterprises,’ they say. ‘Phoebe Wallingford will pay for what she’s done to our family.’ Walking home with the back half of the twelve-foot ladder, I turned to look in the direction of Hugh’s loft. ‘You will be mine,’ I commanded.” (See You Again Yesterday)
“As an American abroad, you’re bolstered by an innate sense of security. Something goes wrong, and you just instinctively think, ‘We’ll just call the embassy and see what they have to say.’ People know where America is on the map. They know that it’s loud and powerful. With certain other countries there’s no such guarantee. ‘Oh, right, Laos,’ I once heard someone say to a dinner guest. ‘Didn’t we bomb you a couple of times?’”
“The good news is that, as with a boa constrictor or a Planet Hollywood T-shirts, normal people tend to keep their distance when you’re wearing a Walkman. The outside world suddenly becomes as private as you want it to be. It’s like being deaf but with none of the disadvantages.” (The Tapeworm Is In)
“What’s the trick to remembering that a sandwich is masculine? What qualities does it share with anyone in possession of a penis? I’ll tell myself that a sandwich is masculine because if left alone for a week or two, it will eventually grow a beard.” (Make That a Double)
“It sounds far-fetched, but like a roast forsaken in the oven or a rescheduled dental appointment, childbirth is one of those minor details that tends to slip the minds of most soap opera characters. It’s a personality trait you’ve just got to accept.” (The Learning Curve)
“In other parts of the country people tried to stay together for the sake of the children. In New York they tried to work things out for the sake of the apartment.” (The Great Leap Forward)
“What I really want is a cigarette, and I’m always searching the menu in the hope that some courageous young chef has finally recognized tobacco as a vegetable.” (Today’s Special)
“Unlike the faint scurry raised by fingers against a plastic computer keyboard, the smack and clatter of a typewriter suggests that you’re actually building something. At the end of a miserable day, instead of grieving my virtual nothing, I can always look at my loaded wastepaper basket and tell myself that if I failed, at least I took a few trees down with me.” (Nutcracker.com)
“I caught the highlights of Hugh’s broadcast and understood that my first goal was to make him my boyfriend, to trick or blackmail him into making some sort of commitment. I know it sounds calculating, but if you’re not cute, you might as well be clever.
In order to get the things I want, it helps me to pretend I’m a figure in a daytime drama, a schemer. Soap opera characters make emphatic pronouncements. They ball up their fists and state their goals out loud. ‘I will destroy Buchanan Enterprises,’ they say. ‘Phoebe Wallingford will pay for what she’s done to our family.’ Walking home with the back half of the twelve-foot ladder, I turned to look in the direction of Hugh’s loft. ‘You will be mine,’ I commanded.” (See You Again Yesterday)
“As an American abroad, you’re bolstered by an innate sense of security. Something goes wrong, and you just instinctively think, ‘We’ll just call the embassy and see what they have to say.’ People know where America is on the map. They know that it’s loud and powerful. With certain other countries there’s no such guarantee. ‘Oh, right, Laos,’ I once heard someone say to a dinner guest. ‘Didn’t we bomb you a couple of times?’”
“The good news is that, as with a boa constrictor or a Planet Hollywood T-shirts, normal people tend to keep their distance when you’re wearing a Walkman. The outside world suddenly becomes as private as you want it to be. It’s like being deaf but with none of the disadvantages.” (The Tapeworm Is In)
“What’s the trick to remembering that a sandwich is masculine? What qualities does it share with anyone in possession of a penis? I’ll tell myself that a sandwich is masculine because if left alone for a week or two, it will eventually grow a beard.” (Make That a Double)
I don't love essay collections. Did audio version, disliked his voice unfortunately.
Sedaris is an incredible writer. If you haven't read any of his books, start with this one.
funny
lighthearted
relaxing
slow-paced
funny
lighthearted
fast-paced