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The Gender Games: The Problem with Men and Women, from Someone Who Has Been Both by Juno Dawson
greatlibraryofalexandra's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
5.0
It's rare that I don't like a Juno Dawson book and this nonfic foray is no exception. It's conversational almost too a fault and can be heavy-handed with camp, but its honest, heartfelt, smart, absorbing, and funny, and I enjoyed it so, so much.
Dawson mixes a sort of mini-memoir-autobiography with reflections on gender/sex/transwomanhood/womanhood/feminism/gay male lifestyle filtered through the lens of her own experience and juxtaposed with research and science. It's a great way to learn and get insight, and she's so practical and frank in providing it.
"Terf Wars" was my favorite chapter, and I think I'm going to shove it down the throats of anyone who...needs it. It was helpful for me, as well, as I consider myself a feminist who is very protective of women's safe spaces, and I sometimes found myself confused as to what a TERF was or why they were wrong, considering their arguments can be superficially convincing. I'm not talking about the psychotic threats that a transwoman is a wolf in sheep's clothing out to hurt women; I'm talking about those (perhaps) well intentioned individuals who may have argued 'Hey, you don't understand what it is like to have lived with the burden of womanhood, because you have at one time had male privilege, and that is a different kind of oppression' - this argument CAN be blindingly divisive, and I was always struggling to parse out who was 'right' - because I could also at times feel hostile towards the idea of a person who benefitted from male privilege in the past 'taking up' my space.
Dawson's break down of TERF arguments helped me untangle the thoughts I was having and gently reinforced the reminder that transwomen are women REGARDLESS of their past socialized experience -- and I do think Dawson does a fair job of discussing how some TERF's opinions may stem from extreme fear of men, and a genuine lack of understanding that whether or not a penis is present has nothing to do with womanhood in terms of gender (she also does this well in her fiction novel "Her Majesty's Royal Coven" - examining the roots of TERFism without validating its ethos). She acknowledges where the less virulent TERFs might be coming from, but also outlines why that is a misguided presentation of Feminism, and elucidates the clear reason why feminism MUST be open to all. Intellectual struggles aside (which stemmed from a lifetime of the kind of binary conditioning Dawson dismantles, as many other activists work to do), I've never really understood women who think transwomen are in any way dangerous or dishonest or intent on 'stealing' womanhood or 'hurting' women. Just like a cis woman's lived experience or choices regarding their femininity don't affect me or detract from my womanhood, a transwoman's lived experiences and choices regarding their femininity don't make me less of a woman. Sure, Juno Dawson is never going to have the same exact experience as a woman who was "born female" (which she points out), but neither am I going to have the exact same experience as my best friend, who is a cis and hetero woman like me. So, what's the difference, why the gatekeeping?
We're all fighting the patriarchy here.
There were also some really interesting discussions here about how deeply ingrained the concept of gender is, and I felt Dawson was really tenacious in tackling them. I've often found my head going round and round the "issue" of gender because I'll think - "but if gender is all a construct, then why is transgender a thing?" - I'll get caught in this constant loop of - "okay, so we know that gender stereotypes are arbitrary, false, and need to be confronted and eliminated, which means that women aren't compassionate by default, don't love pink by default, etc. - then why is transgender a real thing if gender isn't real?" It can be mind boggling and frustrating and I guess I can see why some people want to take the "easy" way out and just say "It's a binary, men have penises, women have vaginas, THE END" - but Dawson not only acknowledges that this is confusing, sometimes counterintuitive territory, she points out that there may indeed be a "post trans" future in store for us IF we are ever able to totally obliterate gender (unlikely). She even points it out for herself, discussing how she LOVED "traditionally" female roles, but that conversely, there are plenty of cis-identifying women who ascribe mostly to "traditionally masculine" gender ethos.
We shouldn't take the easier way out, though, because listening to people and seeing them as people and expanding what that means is going to go a long way in making the world better as a whole.
This is a colloquial, short, comprehensible book that still packs a LOT of "galaxy brain" level reflection and is unafraid of existing within a complex web of discordant feedback, personal struggle, societal expectations, and what is and isn't "biologically determined."
There are elements of this book that are preaching to the converted, but I also think its brute honesty and genuine desire to connect could be really useful for anyone who is open-minded and is seeking to educate themselves rather than to argue - and it should be taken advantage of, because Dawson has personal experience with "both sides" (that damn binary!) and has also done a great service in providing her own emotional/intellectual labor to present this to the world.
Also, it was just downright fun to read!
Dawson mixes a sort of mini-memoir-autobiography with reflections on gender/sex/transwomanhood/womanhood/feminism/gay male lifestyle filtered through the lens of her own experience and juxtaposed with research and science. It's a great way to learn and get insight, and she's so practical and frank in providing it.
"Terf Wars" was my favorite chapter, and I think I'm going to shove it down the throats of anyone who...needs it. It was helpful for me, as well, as I consider myself a feminist who is very protective of women's safe spaces, and I sometimes found myself confused as to what a TERF was or why they were wrong, considering their arguments can be superficially convincing. I'm not talking about the psychotic threats that a transwoman is a wolf in sheep's clothing out to hurt women; I'm talking about those (perhaps) well intentioned individuals who may have argued 'Hey, you don't understand what it is like to have lived with the burden of womanhood, because you have at one time had male privilege, and that is a different kind of oppression' - this argument CAN be blindingly divisive, and I was always struggling to parse out who was 'right' - because I could also at times feel hostile towards the idea of a person who benefitted from male privilege in the past 'taking up' my space.
Dawson's break down of TERF arguments helped me untangle the thoughts I was having and gently reinforced the reminder that transwomen are women REGARDLESS of their past socialized experience -- and I do think Dawson does a fair job of discussing how some TERF's opinions may stem from extreme fear of men, and a genuine lack of understanding that whether or not a penis is present has nothing to do with womanhood in terms of gender (she also does this well in her fiction novel "Her Majesty's Royal Coven" - examining the roots of TERFism without validating its ethos). She acknowledges where the less virulent TERFs might be coming from, but also outlines why that is a misguided presentation of Feminism, and elucidates the clear reason why feminism MUST be open to all. Intellectual struggles aside (which stemmed from a lifetime of the kind of binary conditioning Dawson dismantles, as many other activists work to do), I've never really understood women who think transwomen are in any way dangerous or dishonest or intent on 'stealing' womanhood or 'hurting' women. Just like a cis woman's lived experience or choices regarding their femininity don't affect me or detract from my womanhood, a transwoman's lived experiences and choices regarding their femininity don't make me less of a woman. Sure, Juno Dawson is never going to have the same exact experience as a woman who was "born female" (which she points out), but neither am I going to have the exact same experience as my best friend, who is a cis and hetero woman like me. So, what's the difference, why the gatekeeping?
We're all fighting the patriarchy here.
There were also some really interesting discussions here about how deeply ingrained the concept of gender is, and I felt Dawson was really tenacious in tackling them. I've often found my head going round and round the "issue" of gender because I'll think - "but if gender is all a construct, then why is transgender a thing?" - I'll get caught in this constant loop of - "okay, so we know that gender stereotypes are arbitrary, false, and need to be confronted and eliminated, which means that women aren't compassionate by default, don't love pink by default, etc. - then why is transgender a real thing if gender isn't real?" It can be mind boggling and frustrating and I guess I can see why some people want to take the "easy" way out and just say "It's a binary, men have penises, women have vaginas, THE END" - but Dawson not only acknowledges that this is confusing, sometimes counterintuitive territory, she points out that there may indeed be a "post trans" future in store for us IF we are ever able to totally obliterate gender (unlikely). She even points it out for herself, discussing how she LOVED "traditionally" female roles, but that conversely, there are plenty of cis-identifying women who ascribe mostly to "traditionally masculine" gender ethos.
We shouldn't take the easier way out, though, because listening to people and seeing them as people and expanding what that means is going to go a long way in making the world better as a whole.
This is a colloquial, short, comprehensible book that still packs a LOT of "galaxy brain" level reflection and is unafraid of existing within a complex web of discordant feedback, personal struggle, societal expectations, and what is and isn't "biologically determined."
There are elements of this book that are preaching to the converted, but I also think its brute honesty and genuine desire to connect could be really useful for anyone who is open-minded and is seeking to educate themselves rather than to argue - and it should be taken advantage of, because Dawson has personal experience with "both sides" (that damn binary!) and has also done a great service in providing her own emotional/intellectual labor to present this to the world.
Also, it was just downright fun to read!
malachi_'s review against another edition
funny
hopeful
informative
reflective
fast-paced
2.5
I did not like the writing style and often felt it was overly intimate. In all fairness though, I think this book is written for cisgender people who have never studied gender theory or really thought about it very much.
claire60's review against another edition
2.0
Didn't love this I have to say, I found the writers style irritating and I have read much better books about gender.
miraboo's review against another edition
5.0
A great booking, talking about everything gender related. For me, it was a bit like preaching to the choir, but throughout I kept thinking how important and helpful it will be to me heterosexual and cisgender friends. I'll definitely be recommending this to everyone for a very long time.
femi_nasty_biblio's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
slow-paced
4.0
jeffers_98's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
medium-paced
4.0
I think, based off reviews, like some other people, I hadn't initially realised this was a memoir upon picking it up, and therefore was initially thrown off by the colloquial tone Dawson takes with the reader. However, once I realised, I really enjoyed the book. It linked Dawson's personal experience with studies and facts to create a really interesting discussion around gender as a social construct and the damage this causes for everyone, resulting in the book being an interesting mix of informative and personal experience.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, Sexism, Sexual content, Transphobia, and Sexual violence
claire_michelle18's review against another edition
4.0
A great read - mixing a personal experience of transition with a more wide ranging look at gender, feminism, and overcoming stereotypes and prejudice. I love Juno Dawson's frank and funny style of writing, she writes so honestly about her experiences. Would 100% recommend, particularly if you're looking for an accessible read on gender issues.