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This book is my first Holly Jackson book and it won't be my last. I only hope that she continues to write more adult thriller books because she knows WTF she's doing. I can't remember the last time I cried, sobbing like a baby on one page, and then continue to cry from laughing so hard on the next. I could not stop reading this -- I put off being an adult just to get through the pages and didnt feel the need to read the other 4 books I'm reading in between because from the first page you fall in love with Jet as a main character who is grumpy, moody, a little bit of an asshole (ok, maybe a lot but the girl has her reasons) hilarious, and just... so imperfectly human.
I watch and read so many thrillers that I just knew I would know who "they" were, and while yes, near the end - I had figured it out - it was only because of the little red herrings throughout the book that told the story but also made you question yourself because most of the characters in this book, suck. Truly. They are human and awful and selfish and you just know that any one of them could have done what they did to Jet... but then Mrs Jackson throws in ANOTHER twist you don't see coming and you're simply left with your mouth on the ground. I haven't felt this way since reading Gone Girl (the book that got me into thrillers) so that's high praise right there. This story is SO plot driven but also character driven -- a lot of books these days give you one or the other so it's a special kind of magic when you get both done SO WELL.
The ending is 110% not what you want but also everything you want wrapped up in a blood soaked bow and like me, you'll be left feeling all the feel. I say it everytime, but I base my ratings on how a book made me feel - and I felt it all. I'm guessing that's obvious by now because I literally said I needed to take time to process before leaving a review and then I don't shut up about it. You have to read this book... Holly deserves all the praise this book is getting and if you are on the fence, jump on over because you won't regret it. This is one of those books I'll fight over (not really, but maybe) when people leave bad reviews because I'll know for a fact we didn't read the same book. I wish I could go back a few days and read it all over for the first time... this surely won't be my last book by Mrs Jackson - you have another forever fan in me and I can't wait to see what you write next.
BUT.. before I go.. I do need to leave a few parting words for a couple of the characters because I sincerely believe they deserve it.
*Jet Mason - you are my spirit animal. I have never felt so connected to a FMC in my life (IYKYK). She's absolutely hilarious, imperfect, but strong and resilient in ways I couldnt fathom of intimidating.
*Reggie - you ARE the best boy in the whole world and I hope Billy is giving you ALL the scratches in the world.
*Billy - I hope you're out there, finding new frogs in the stars, and allowing all the love in the world to flow through you - you deserve it.
*Luke - you are a POS but thank you for doing what we ALL wanted to do by the end.
*Sophia -to whole heartedly echo Jets words for you. You ARE a C*NT and I hope you're always this unhappy.
GO READ THIS BOOK NOW!!!! DO IT!!! And then come chat with me about it and let's chat about all the tea and how much you loved it.
Graphic: Cursing, Death, Terminal illness, Violence, Blood, Police brutality, Medical content, Grief, Medical trauma, Murder, Fire/Fire injury, Injury/Injury detail
Graphic: Child death, Death, Gun violence, Terminal illness, Blood, Grief, Murder, Fire/Fire injury, Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Alcoholism, Cursing, Infidelity, Medical content, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, Alcohol
Graphic: Alcoholism, Cursing, Death, Violence, Blood, Medical content, Murder, Fire/Fire injury, Alcohol, Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Child death, Chronic illness, Terminal illness
Minor: Infidelity
Moderate: Cursing, Violence
Despite the plot feeling sometimes like it's progressing a bit too slow, it was still a nice read about Margaret ‘Jet’ who was trying to solve her own murder. The protagonist of this story feels like she has to proof something, has to act and achieve the same things her sister Emily did. While I never done anything like this to impress anyone, not even my parents I could still somewhat understand that if one wasn't the favourite child and just searching for confirmation, wanting to make them proud. I think that Margaret can be a relatable character for some. Just like the author of this book said: ‘I still find myself feeling sad for Jet (and I made her up) so I’m sorry for inflicting that trauma on you too.’ Her life was truly tragic and I think everyone had at least some bit of tragedy in their life so I think it's quite easy to connect with her emotionally. Since I did that too, I was also able to enjoy the story to the fullest, truly rooting for her to achieve something big in life for the first time without self-sabotaging and actually finishing something she started without saying 'later'.
We've spend our whole lives trying to fill Emily's shoes, feeling crushed by her shadow, trying to prove to Mom and Dad that we are good enough too.
This book explored a lot of family dynamics, mostly Margaret's but also Billy's family. While it did take some time to get to know all the characters — their secrets and possible motives for killing Margaret, it also was about their relationships to eachother. How they liked or not liked eachother. And why. While I did mention above that I found the end reveal to be a bit too predictable, there were actually three major ones. Two were pretty obvious since they were connected to eachother and I think that the murderer was a prime suspect, but the family dynamic also had a secret which I did not expect as it was so cruel and heartless, I wouldn't have even imagined that someone would do something like this. It took me by surprise since I didn't expect it at all. I also wanted to mention that this book is quite tragic and just generally sad since it's about grief, loss and how relationships changed over the years by abandonment and hate. They all had their tragic story in some way.
I'm sorry that I'm not Emily. But I was never supposed to be. Took me a while to learn that, and I hope you can see it too. I spent my whole life waiting because I was trying to live a future that was never mine. And I did it because I wanted you to be proud of me. To just once say “Good Job, Jet.” I needed it, lived for it, and I don't think that was healthy, for either of us.
Despite the sad backstories and plot about a woman dying soon due to head trauma, it also had a sweet tone, like romance and showing strength when one faces a difficult time in life. Margaret had a major development at the end, acknowledging that the way she lived her life so far was wrong and made it up for the remaining days she had left to live.
As I mentioned above, the plot twist who the murderer was, was too predictable to me and made the ending disappointing. I expected something greater and I know that Holly Jackson is good in writing about a mystery/thriller, but this time it just wasn't as great as I initially hoped for it to be.
Since everything else wasn't really lacking anything I would still recommend this book to anyone who already read a Holly Jackson book in the past.
In case you haven't, don't worry, it's still worth reading despite the ending as I had fun exploring each character and their past.
My murder isn’t going to solve itself.
Graphic: Child death, Chronic illness, Death, Emotional abuse, Gun violence, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Medical content, Grief, Medical trauma, Murder, Fire/Fire injury, Toxic friendship, Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Alcoholism, Confinement, Cursing, Physical abuse
Minor: Bullying, Drug abuse, Drug use, Infidelity, Suicide, Abandonment, Alcohol
I loved the concept of the book,
The twists and turns had me HOOKED. I was constantly trying to deduce who the killer was and
My heart broke 💔 in those final moments that jet shared with Billy, their friendship had such depth, and I was gonna scream if he was the killer (he was on my list at some point)
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Graphic: Child death, Death, Murder
Moderate: Blood
Minor: Chronic illness, Cursing, Violence
Graphic: Cursing, Death, Violence, Blood, Grief, Medical trauma, Murder
Graphic: Cursing, Death, Terminal illness, Violence, Blood, Medical content, Grief, Murder, Fire/Fire injury, Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Alcoholism, Child death, Gun violence, Suicide, Abandonment
Minor: Adult/minor relationship
Graphic: Violence, Blood, Medical content, Murder
Moderate: Cursing, Gore, Gun violence, Gaslighting
Minor: Infidelity, Suicide, Police brutality, Fire/Fire injury, Toxic friendship
5/5 stars
Graphic: Body horror, Child death, Cursing, Death, Drug use, Gore, Gun violence, Torture, Violence, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Dementia, Grief, Medical trauma, Murder, Fire/Fire injury, Alcohol, Injury/Injury detail