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lmimperfect's review
3.0
I enjoy picking up parenting books every so often. Fresh perspectives are a great time to reflect (determine what's working or what could be better). I read and loved "Oh Crap! I Have a Toddler," written by Jamie Glowacki and have done summary reading on the 1-2-3 method this book covers. What I like is that they both emphasize the early stages as authoritarian, setting boundaries and establishing them in healthy ways, but being sure to be firm. "Many parents complicate their job of discipline by being too nice" was one of my favorite quotes because it summarizes that parenting is a job and suggests we approach it from that perspective, especially in skill and behavior training. Being a nurturing parent and setting boundaries do not operate independently, it's why our jobs are so complex. I liked Jamie’s book better of the two (she’s straightforward and not as polished), but I think there were plenty of good points and reminders that this quick read was worth a skim if it vibes with your parenting philosophy. 3.5 stars
lsloan84's review
4.0
Good basic parenting techniques. Basically, it preaches patience and proactive rather than reactive discipline.
brookes_books's review
2.0
I wasn’t a fan of this at all. Counting and time outs isn’t what I’m looking for. I would like my preschooler to learn positive skills, lessons, and behaviors that will help her eventually become a well-rounded, happy, successful adult. This book teaches you how to get your kid to obey you or else it’s a time out.
lisarue's review
2.0
Not my style of book: a little too simplistic and inflexible in the approach suggested, no science or studies behind it. Finally, the book has useless pictures (usually a cartoon head) with captions that uselessly duplicate text that's already in the page. I can read a whole page myself just fine, thank-you-very-much.
funkydung's review
3.0
I'd give the techniques at least 4/5 stars, but the presentation leaves much to be desired. Put succinctly, this book's origin as a pamphlet is obvious. It should be rewritten from scratch or at least heavily edited. I would have organized the material much differently, possibly arranging techniques, advice, and tips according to age groups. Even so, the content is quite good.
canada_matt's review against another edition
4.0
I picked up Phelan's 1-2-3 Magic after having it recommended by my son's paediatrician. I was not entirely sure what to expect, as many people have told me that parenting, even discipline, is not rocket science. Truth be told, it had become a daunting and somewhat overwhelming task for me and I thought that if anything could help, I'd give it a try. Phelan chooses to break the book (and the system) down into three digestible portions: dealing with obnoxious behaviour, creating and sticking with routines, and strengthening parent-child relationships. He presents the system not as anything overly complex, but sometimes overlooked in the hustle and bustle of the every day life of a parent. By using basic techniques to tackle STOP behaviours (read: obnoxious), Phelan empowers the parent with a counting system sure to reap rewards if handled effectively. He differentiates this from START behaviours (things that need to be part of a regular routine or that NEED doing) by setting up praise, organising time limitations, injecting consequences, and following through in an emotionally neutral manner. All this, while continuing to foster the needed relationship with children so that they not only respect you as the parents (and not only for your disciplinarian skills) but also as a fellow human being. In a few short hours, any parent can be well on the way to better control of the situation and keep the emotional waves from crashing down on top of the household. Phelan lays it all out and makes it fun to learn.
The techniques Phelan professes are not anything you'd likely not agree with from the outset, but it is always better to see them supported with explanations and examples rather than off the cuff comments from other parents as they roll their eyes. The book is a wonderful tool to help build up parental confidence as well as structuring the household in a calm and level-headed manner. Parents and children alike will surely benefit from the skills and options presented in the twenty-five chapters, although neither may be as energetic in the early days. Empowerment is key, while respect is also an essential part of Phelan's program and it can all be done in a few weeks, with willing parental participants. With easy to understand explanations and no psychobabble, Phelan is able to sell the idea quite easily and helps parents retain control of the household, while not appearing overly dictatorial and frigid.
Kudos, Dr. Phelan for such a great book that helped boost my confidence in what will surely be a trying task.
The techniques Phelan professes are not anything you'd likely not agree with from the outset, but it is always better to see them supported with explanations and examples rather than off the cuff comments from other parents as they roll their eyes. The book is a wonderful tool to help build up parental confidence as well as structuring the household in a calm and level-headed manner. Parents and children alike will surely benefit from the skills and options presented in the twenty-five chapters, although neither may be as energetic in the early days. Empowerment is key, while respect is also an essential part of Phelan's program and it can all be done in a few weeks, with willing parental participants. With easy to understand explanations and no psychobabble, Phelan is able to sell the idea quite easily and helps parents retain control of the household, while not appearing overly dictatorial and frigid.
Kudos, Dr. Phelan for such a great book that helped boost my confidence in what will surely be a trying task.