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nmcannon's review
informative
slow-paced
3.0
I picked up Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy for Lesbians: How to Stay Sane and Care for Yourself from Pre-Conception Through Birth for research purposes. Pepper’s work is as advertised. After she had her daughter, Pepper realized there was a need in the lesbian community for a pregnancy guide from the queer perspective, with queer concerns at the forefront. Ultimate Guide is the culmination of her diligent research and personal experience. Though obviously dated (first published 1999), pages of advice are evergreen, and I received a good grounding in general conception options. My notebook’s pages are full of ink. Pepper has a fun sense of humor, and I enjoyed the little adages from queer couples on their parenting journey.
As other reviewers have noted, the pregnancy portion takes on shades of memoir. Pepper briefly describes various choices and experiences before touting and detailing what avenue worked best for her. For example, she runs the numbers and finds home birth much safer and cheaper. These observations are backed by calculations, scientific research, and anecdotal evidence. All good so far. Then Pepper’s prose takes on a confrontational tone as she tries to convince the reader to have a home birth without drugs. It’s “more pure” and “natural.” The baby is less likely to cry (???). She describes her own experience in graphic detail, including how she was in so much pain that she forgot her own name. It seems bizarre to covet such suffering. Birth is one of the most painful experiences a human can have. I struggle to understand why one would only mitigate that pain with breathing techniques. Due to yoga, I know breathing is a powerful tool, but I doubt my ability to breathe away a pain worse than all four limbs being torn off. Pepper’s missteps in this portion cast doubt on her earlier pro-home birth statements. I’m going to research elsewhere.
Still, Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy for Lesbians: How to Stay Sane and Care for Yourself from Pre-Conception Through Birth is a pleasant, informative read on the whole. As a queer person looking into maybe acquiring a child, it served as an excellent starting point.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Pregnancy
bekand1's review
Incredibly out of date. Disappointing language made me cringe multiple times.
Super judgey tone sometimes, specifically towards young mums. This book was written purely from the authors experiences/opinions which would be fine if it weren’t for the title/marketing of “ultimate guide”. DNFed at 50%.
Upsetting that this is one of the only books I’ve found for lesbians and it hasn’t had a revision since 2002.
Super judgey tone sometimes, specifically towards young mums. This book was written purely from the authors experiences/opinions which would be fine if it weren’t for the title/marketing of “ultimate guide”. DNFed at 50%.
Upsetting that this is one of the only books I’ve found for lesbians and it hasn’t had a revision since 2002.
annabcarey's review against another edition
3.0
I reviewed this in two parts, here and here. The abbreviated version is this: the resources on preconception and pregnancy are good. As for the actual birth stuff, while not necessarily incorrect, was the kind of thing I'd highly encourage researching through other sources before making a decision.
My biggest qualm was with the fact that Pepper makes a point of mentioning that she's writing for lesbian families where one partner is trans, only to later make it pretty clear that what she means is FTM trans men. It's perhaps better than ignoring trans people entirely, but leaving out trans women partnered with cis women certainly ignores a segment of lesbian parents who still often face similar fertility obstacles after hormonal transition.
The latter of those reviews I linked goes a little bit into why I'm holding Pepper to a pretty high standard on that, which is something I gave a lot of thought to.
My biggest qualm was with the fact that Pepper makes a point of mentioning that she's writing for lesbian families where one partner is trans, only to later make it pretty clear that what she means is FTM trans men. It's perhaps better than ignoring trans people entirely, but leaving out trans women partnered with cis women certainly ignores a segment of lesbian parents who still often face similar fertility obstacles after hormonal transition.
The latter of those reviews I linked goes a little bit into why I'm holding Pepper to a pretty high standard on that, which is something I gave a lot of thought to.
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