Reviews

This was such a sweet book! The main character, Sam Sylvester, has just moved to a new town and a new school after they were almost killed by a transphobic act of violence in their previous town. Even before their own near-death experience, the deaths of teenagers were their autistic special interest. They keep all of their research in their book of "half-lived lives". Unbeknownst to Sam and their dad, they've moved into a house where a teen died 30 years ago. Sam makes it their mission to get to the bottom of the "tragic accident" that ended that teen's life too soon.

The author identifies as queer, autistic, and non-binary and their lived experience made Sam's character feel so real! Little details like Sam's stimming, overstimulation migraines, binding, gender feels, non-verbal moments, etc. felt so accurate and thoughtfully included. This book is amazing for its representation. As much as I enjoyed the characters and story, I found myself moving through the book pretty slowly though, I'm not sure why! The mystery did keep me on my toes even though the big reveal wasn't THAT surprising. I recommended this to anyone looking for a queer mystery (rare) or a realistic depiction of autism. I loved that the representation was so well included, but this was not a story about Sam's gender, sexuality, or autism--the focus of the plot was definitely the mystery!

dani_1405's review against another edition

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dark emotional hopeful mysterious medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? No

5.0

I love this book. It had me gripped from the start and held me there for the entire book. The mystery part of this story is excellent and is revealed and obscured in the most perfect way and then you combine it with the deeply queer storylines and it just becomes outstanding. Sam is a character that I relate to in a way that I don't think I can fully comprehend but they hold such a dear place in my heart. All the side characters are excellent, some highlights (a list of basically all of them): Sam's dad is the coolest, Shep is the sweetest, Sky is the best and Aidan is the coolest. Also Sam's tattoo is just so fucking cool.

The way Sam and Shep's relationship develops while they also deal with solving the mystery of Billy's death is brilliant. I also appreciated how Sam's autism was represented and how Shep is so readily accepting and does her best to be accommodating. Also the reveal of who killed Billy? Both so cool and terrifying, the second Sam's dad was in danger I was so upset, finding out it was Shep's dad was awful and Shep's mother thinking she killed Billy all those years was so sad.

I love this book, I will forever sing its praises, I can't wait to see what this author does next.

annabutgonerogue's review against another edition

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2.0

it was a book

telegram_sam's review against another edition

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1.0

It was….something. Definitely a book…yep.

thebooklovingpanda's review against another edition

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4.0

“‘What is it you want, Sam Sylvester? …More than anything, what do you want?'
 …‘I want to live,’ I say.”

3.8 stars

Content warnings:

Spoiler

ableism (re: autism); allergic reactions (serious); assault and attempted murder; bullying and threats; hospitalisation; blood and injury; queerphobia; reference to racism; reference to sex; self-harm; swearing; threat of losing a loved one; violence and reference to past murders

First of all can we just appreciate this gorgeous cover? I think it's one of the most beautiful covers I've seen in a while, and I love that it shows Sam's tattoos, especially as they get mentioned a few times during the book.

The colours and vibrancy of the cover also convey nicely MacGregor's vivid and often refreshingly original visual and sensory imagery. I really felt immersed in Sam's story and how they experience the world as a non-binary and autistic young person on the ace spectrum. It's a beautifully colourful story not just in setting - Shep's (Sam's new neighbour) room gave me major decor envy! - but also the variety of characters. I loved seeing Sam form their first friendships with other LGBTQ+ people IRL!

At times though, some scenes were slightly difficult for me to visualise action-wise, but this was really only the very small/mundane actions. These were things such as a hand knocking into a desk, or why Person A would say Person B was sneaking up on them when the scene seemed to have them both fully facing each other. The key action scenes were actually very easy and dynamic to read! There were also a few non-action-related phrases that were worded a little confusingly, but most of it was easy to read - at least in terms of words.

There is some pretty heavy content in this book, more than a few social issues addressed and the threats Sam experiences are really quite disturbing. However, this darkness was offset by the warmth and safety of Sam’s absolutely wonderful dad (who's also on the ace spectrum!) and the bond that they share. This was definitely the standout relationship in the book for me! It was also quite a comfort to read about the school's LGBTQ+ club, and the new friends Sam makes and seeing how they support each other. I also enjoyed seeing how some of the teachers really do seem to care about their LGBTQ+ students' welfare. Unfortunately, the romance subplot lacked chemistry in comparison to the other relationships and felt unnecessary. I don't think the book would have been fundamentally changed in any way if the romance had been left out, and I think I might have actually enjoyed it more if it had just focused on the other relationships.

The mystery element was engaging, not just with the shadiness surrounding the 1980s ‘tragic accident’ (murder?), but also with the slow revelations about what happened to Sam in their old town. There’s also some paranormal elements that lend new information in a very intriguing (and sometimes unsettling) way. I didn’t guess the Big Bad either! That said, I did have a few questions remaining at the end regarding the 'whodunnits' - there are several smaller mysteries feeding into the big one, which is why it was so interesting - and one of the supporting characters seemed so suspicious throughout (if you've read this, let me know in the comments who you suspected!)...but I guess I'll never know.

(Unless...sequel?)

This was a great YA debut with a strong voice, a compelling lead with important life experiences to share (and an absolutely amazing sense of style, wow) plus a shady mystery that kept me turning the pages. I'll definitely be checking out MacGregor's other work - I believe their next YA book is 'The Evolving Truth of Ever-Stronger Will', which a) amazing title and b) might be about a character called Will? and c) makes me excited for when the blurb is revealed!

Thank you to Astra Books for a copy for an honest review.

fantasy_writer_221b's review against another edition

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adventurous inspiring mysterious reflective fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

I thought this book was beautiful as an autistic non-binary individual myself. I have never gone through anything similar to what Sam went through, but they were just so relatable for me in a way I rarely see. Plus all the side characters like the Dad, Mr Quach, Sky, and Aidan were so cute. (The only reason I don’t include Shep in that is because she was definitely a main character in my eyes 😍). Shep and Sam were everything!!!

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