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anasatticbookblog's review
2.0
Read more of my reviews and ramblings at Ana's Attic Sexy Tales and Toys
When Bonnie Bliss sent me an ARC of her sexy new book, Bondage on the 4th of July, I was so excited! I love sexy short holiday books. They get me in the mood for the holiday, (and other things) so I moved it up on my TBR list so I can have this review up before the 4th.
At 40 pages, this is a really quick read. The set-up was cute. Millie has been in love with her next door neighbor, and her big brother’s best friend, Brad, since she was a kid. When he enlisted in the army, she was 17 and he still thought of her as a “kid”. Now she is hot, 21, and he’s in town with an army buddy, Kenny, for a 4 day leave over 4th of July.
Brad has actually always been crazy for Millie as well, but her brother warned him to stay far away, because Brad is a Dom and he didn’t want her involved with the kink. When Brad and Kenny see her at the 4th of July block party, they can’t stay away, and they both decide to “own” her as the fireworks explode.
I wanted to like this so much! The premise was great. Two hot Doms? Yes, please. But the mistakes in grammar, word use, formatting and even setting were enough to ruin the book for me. If I hadn’t looked it up, I would think this is Bonnie Bliss’s first book, rushed out for the Holiday.
A few examples of these errors:
-“I’m glad ‘your’ home” - A 5th grader should know your and you’re.
-“His cock was hard. it burnt with the friction of Millie’s tightness…..” -Sentences start with capitals, and there is no such word as ‘burnt’ unless you are talking about broccoli.
-“Kenny stilled while Brad ‘leant’ over Millie…..” -”leant”? Really?
-Brad kept calling her a Minx, like over, and over, and over…………
-Kenny called her “keen” has anyone used this word since the 70′s?
-First, they tied her to a bench. But when they untied her, she got off the table. Huh????
-They fuck her once, during fireworks, and they let her know they own her and love her? What???? She met Kenny a half hour ago.
-He also stroked his ‘phallus’ and shot his ‘spunk’. Eeeeew.
There was just so many problems, I couldn’t even get into the sex scenes (OK, well I did a little–2 hot sexy Doms in public is hot no matter how badly written)! The premise for a cute story was there, but it needed a bit of an overhaul to turn it into something better.
1.5 stars for story, 3 stars for heat (could have been 5, but I was too distracted by the errors)
BUT, if you want a quick hot book about a menage with double penetration, 2 doms and fireworks, and can overlook the issues above, enjoy!
* I do not personally know the author, but I was given an ARC in exchange for an honest review on my blog, Ana’s Attic Sexy Tales and Toys. I was not compensated for the review
When Bonnie Bliss sent me an ARC of her sexy new book, Bondage on the 4th of July, I was so excited! I love sexy short holiday books. They get me in the mood for the holiday, (and other things) so I moved it up on my TBR list so I can have this review up before the 4th.
At 40 pages, this is a really quick read. The set-up was cute. Millie has been in love with her next door neighbor, and her big brother’s best friend, Brad, since she was a kid. When he enlisted in the army, she was 17 and he still thought of her as a “kid”. Now she is hot, 21, and he’s in town with an army buddy, Kenny, for a 4 day leave over 4th of July.
Brad has actually always been crazy for Millie as well, but her brother warned him to stay far away, because Brad is a Dom and he didn’t want her involved with the kink. When Brad and Kenny see her at the 4th of July block party, they can’t stay away, and they both decide to “own” her as the fireworks explode.
I wanted to like this so much! The premise was great. Two hot Doms? Yes, please. But the mistakes in grammar, word use, formatting and even setting were enough to ruin the book for me. If I hadn’t looked it up, I would think this is Bonnie Bliss’s first book, rushed out for the Holiday.
A few examples of these errors:
-“I’m glad ‘your’ home” - A 5th grader should know your and you’re.
-“His cock was hard. it burnt with the friction of Millie’s tightness…..” -Sentences start with capitals, and there is no such word as ‘burnt’ unless you are talking about broccoli.
-“Kenny stilled while Brad ‘leant’ over Millie…..” -”leant”? Really?
-Brad kept calling her a Minx, like over, and over, and over…………
-Kenny called her “keen” has anyone used this word since the 70′s?
-First, they tied her to a bench. But when they untied her, she got off the table. Huh????
-They fuck her once, during fireworks, and they let her know they own her and love her? What???? She met Kenny a half hour ago.
-He also stroked his ‘phallus’ and shot his ‘spunk’. Eeeeew.
There was just so many problems, I couldn’t even get into the sex scenes (OK, well I did a little–2 hot sexy Doms in public is hot no matter how badly written)! The premise for a cute story was there, but it needed a bit of an overhaul to turn it into something better.
1.5 stars for story, 3 stars for heat (could have been 5, but I was too distracted by the errors)
BUT, if you want a quick hot book about a menage with double penetration, 2 doms and fireworks, and can overlook the issues above, enjoy!
* I do not personally know the author, but I was given an ARC in exchange for an honest review on my blog, Ana’s Attic Sexy Tales and Toys. I was not compensated for the review
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