Reviews tagging 'Toxic relationship'

The School for Good Mothers by Jessamine Chan

19 reviews

crystalsparkles's review against another edition

Go to review page

challenging dark emotional mysterious reflective sad tense fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Highly recommend checking out the trigger warnings first and only read if you can truly handle them.  This book is soooo good.  The story had me raging, and bawling, frustrated by injustice and hopeful… It is devastating. There were times when I didn’t know if I could finish the story, because it almost hits too hard. Especially in the global political climate, who’s to say this is too far of a stretch for North America sometime in the nearish future.  It will surely make you question your own parenting.  

Expand filter menu Content Warnings

natspat98's review against another edition

Go to review page

dark mysterious reflective sad medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Plot
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0


Expand filter menu Content Warnings

jordania_'s review

Go to review page

DNF’d due to the heaviness of the content. Not a bad book at all, writing is great. I just can’t personally handle some of the topics covered. 

Expand filter menu Content Warnings

cryfest's review

Go to review page

challenging dark emotional mysterious sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0


Expand filter menu Content Warnings

savvylit's review

Go to review page

dark emotional mysterious tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

The School for Good Mothers is an excellent piece of dystopian fiction set in the very near future. Frida lives in a world in which Child Protective Services has become powerfully invasive. Immediately after her mistake, officials install cameras in her home. Later, Frida is sentenced to the titular School for Good Mothers. At the prison-like school, she is forced to constantly repeat the phrase "I am a bad mother, but I am learning to be good." In roleplaying exercises, Frida is punished for subjective actions like hugging or tone of voice.

If the above summary of this work doesn't already suggest it, this is a very dark novel. Jessamine Chan crafts an all-too-believable police state that dictates "proper" motherhood. And, as in real life, mothers of color are treated much more harshly by the system. Though I am not a mother myself, it's not hard to see that the extremes of this novel are an extension of the very real pressures that our society imposes upon mothers.

Overall, The School for Good Mothers was an incredibly captivating novel that made me think a lot about motherhood, societal norms, and judgement (both legal and cultural). At first, I thought that the School portions of this story dragged. Upon reflection, though, I think that may have been the point - readers start to yearn for graduation day right alongside Frida. (When will she finally be deemed good?) Additionally, I also initially thought that this book was too rooted in the gender binary; there is not a single mention of non-cis motherhood. However, I think that rooting this story in the male/female, mother/father gender binary is part of what made this book even more terrifying. All of the State's rules for motherhood were extremely patriarchal. Obsessing over puritanical ideas of femininity and motherhood is just one more way that the State controls and oppresses its parents.

Expand filter menu Content Warnings

lovelymisanthrope's review

Go to review page

challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? N/A
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

I stumbled across this book at Barnes & Noble, and the summary on the back really drew me in.
"The School for Good Mothers" is an exploration of motherhood through a near-futuristic, dystopian lens. Frida Liu is deeply struggling with her life. Being the daughter of Chinese immigrants has caused her to constantly feel like she is living in a shadow in which she is never good enough. After a particularly bad day, Frida leaves her toddler daughter alone at home while she runs to the office. But her quick errand turns into hours away, and when she returns home, she is met by police who are taking her daughter away from her. After a difficult trial, Frida decides to take a deal to attend a school for good mothers for one year, so she can learn how to be better and prove she will never leave her daughter again.
This book made me angry in all of the right ways. Motherhood is no easy task, and it seems like no matter what choice a mother makes, she receives endless criticism and feedback about how she can do better. Even the mothers who "do it all" are imperfect and need to do more. Frida obviously makes an unmistakably poor choice by leaving her toddler daughter alone, but what drove her to that point was equally infuriating. Frida does not have any support in her life, and she is tired, overworked, and desperately needs help. It is undeniable she should not have left her daughter alone, but I think it is equally important to see how much Frida immediately regretted it and did EVERYTHING within her power to make the situation right. Should one mistake forever mark Frida as a bad mother?
The inherit sexism that surrounds parenthood is explored exceptionally well in this book. Mothers are forever held to unattainable standards, but fathers are forever applauded for doing the bare minimum. The school for good mothers has a counterpart, a school for good fathers, and the reader learns that these schools are not created equally. The fathers have a much easier time with the curriculum and their crimes against their children are treated completely differently. Fathers are pretty much always encouraged to go back into their children's lives following graduation from the program, however the mothers seem to be set up to fail and lose their children forever.
I LOVED this book, and I look forward to reading more from Jessamine Chan in the future. 

Expand filter menu Content Warnings

taysbooktalk's review

Go to review page

challenging dark emotional sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

1.0

There are not words for this book, and not in a good way. I like to think if a book had me sobbing, nearly to a panic attack, and I will never forget- that it was an amazing book. It’s not. It’s intentionally meant to rip you apart and trigger you. It’s sold as a dystopian. It’s not. It’s weird and uncomfortable and gut wrenching. This not a Nicholas Sparks or Kristen Hannah book. This is not sad book that tells a story. This is not made to entertain you. It’s not made to make a difference or touch lives. This is made to hurt people. I don’t know that I will ever recover from this book. PLEASE DON’T READ THIS.

Expand filter menu Content Warnings

apollinares's review against another edition

Go to review page

dark emotional reflective sad tense slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

This book made me deeply uncomfortable, sad, furious, exhausted. It takes a lot of skill for an author to evoke that much in a reader all at once. I like how raw and honest the portrayal of Frida's ordeal was, and how processing grief and one's own mistakes is presented as a non-linear, messy process. 

Frida isn't a likeable character. She's convinced us of it on page one, and she's convinced herself of it long before. As someone whose mother made mistakes she deeply regrets, and as someone who has had many conversations with her about what those mistakes did to both of us, I genuinely feel for Frida. I've seen other reviews condemn her, and it's really interesting to me where a reader would draw the line on what they find unacceptable in a parent, and how much they're willing to dehumanise a mother/discredit her emotional needs, when they learn the mother has made a mistake that caused her child harm. I'm not trying to excuse abuse, it's just fascinating how quickly someone's empathy for a person, and their sense of nuance, disappears when the person in the wrong is a parent. I mean, people are rating the book lower because the protagonist has done something wrong and that makes the book supposedly bad. The point is right there, guys, come on...

The way blame is placed in the book is interesting to me, too - how the women are treated as irredeemable, and how the state would rather interfere once harm has been caused (and arguably proceed to traumatise the child even more) than offer parents mental health support before mistakes like this can occur. It's infuriating to experience and to process, and when the fathers were introduced, I became so much angrier knowing how much easier they supposedly have it. 

The ending is tragic and inevitable. I don't know how else Chan could have ended this book. Frida's unravelling is addicting, and sad, and I couldn't look away the whole time.

Expand filter menu Content Warnings

sakisreads's review against another edition

Go to review page

challenging dark emotional slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.5

Oof, this was a very intense and upsetting book 😦 Definitely not a light bedtime read (which is what I treated it as, and regretted almost immediately afterwards 😂)!

Frida starts out by having her ‘very bad day’. Whilst taking care of her daughter Harriet, she forgets a document at work and leaves Harriet sleeping in the house. As a child naturally may, Harriet starts crying a bit during her sleep to which neighbours call the police on Frida.
Frida ends up at the ‘School for Good Mothers’ (which, as said beautifully by The Telegraph, is ‘The Handmaid’s Tale for the Squid Games generation’).

 
I was about to be disappointed by the ending, thinking Frida was going to let her termination of parental rights slide, so I let out a little gasp when she planned her getaway with Will as an unknowing accomplice! I’m not going to lie, I really revelled in that part 😳 What a twist!

I would highly recommend to anyone who enjoyed The Handmaid’s Tale and need a feminist text 🔥 So so interesting!

Expand filter menu Content Warnings

yhteunice's review

Go to review page

challenging dark tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Plot
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.5

I just finished reading "The School for Good Mothers" by Jessamine Chan, her debut novel, and I am discombobulated about the book. 

This is a heavily plot-driven story about a mother, Frida Liu, who has a terrible day and made a mistake that led her to be separated from her child, later be part of a system the government made for bad mothers.  The main themes of the story is the struggle of motherhood and her "coming-to-be" of her Chinese roots.  The way society created a structured and constrictive system of the high standards and expectations of how mothers should be.  Creating an unjust perspective that mothers have to be a robot to their children.

It is frustrating to see the instances of it and reading it makes my blood boil (which means the book did a good job expressing the unethical & suffocating standards a mother should pursue).  However, the pacing of the book is unnecessarily long.  The point has been stated, and it keeps being repeated, making the growth seems rushed and difficult to understand.  The transitioning of one scenario to another is not smooth and does not give the reader (or me lol) time to take in a particular arc or chapter. 

Over all, the premise of the book and the theme are interesting and great for today's society.  It's just that the execution was confusing, and it does not sit right with me.  However, since it is the first book Ms. Chan has even written.  I give more understanding towards it. 

I rated this book 2.5/5 stars (2/5 stars since it's the only option lol). Would I recommend it to someone? Yes, /only/ if they'd want to understand the difficulties of motherhood.  And it is also great for group readings to have many discussions.  But other than that, this book does not give me the spark to necessarily recommend it directly. Do I think it could be written better?  Absolutely.

Expand filter menu Content Warnings