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beckybirch's review
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness, Suicide, and Violence
Moderate: Alcoholism, Physical abuse, and Vomit
anna_j's review
emotional
funny
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Animal cruelty, Child abuse, Child death, Death, Domestic abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Grief, Suicide attempt, and Death of parent
starlightsong's review
DNFed at 70%
So, I live under a rock and managed to completely avoid spoilers for this book no matter how long I kept putting off reading it. By the time I finally got around to it, all I knew of it was the official synopsis of it and all the buzz about how it's warm, hopeful, witty, optimistic, charming... basically the best thing ever if you're in the mood for a lighthearted, uplifting read. Which is, regrettably the exact reason I finally decided to pick it up as well as the reason I ended up so disappointed by it. Proceed with caution as this book, despite all the marketing about how it's the sweetest most heartwarming and uplifting and hilarious thing in all the world, probably requires just about half the trigger warnings that storygraph provides! I'm gonna need to stick basically my whole review under a spoiler but the tl;dr is that I could hardly stand anything about this book and I hate that the marketing made me expect it to be the complete opposite of what it is in terms of tone and content. And even if I'd known it would be so depressing, I'm pretty sure I'd still hate it just because of Eleanor as a character.
So first off, I'm autistic and, like a lot of reviewers, Eleanor reads as autistic to me. Except that for me she comes off as over-the-top, a bit of a caricature, even. I sometimes find her relatable--I, like her, can't fathom why you'd ask someone to meet you at a certain time if you didn't want them to actually arrive at that time--but more often I just can't imagine how she reads the news daily, went to university in the late 2000s, reads a lot of books, watches educational tv, is familiar with classic Broadway musicals, lives in the city, and has worked in an office at a graphic design company for over a decade and somehow still manages to not know things like how pizza deliveries or tipping work, or the difference between a laptop and a desktop, or even what "taking the next step" means (but then, immediately afterward, does know what "the world is your oyster" means??). Or even whether people still wear black at funerals! It just seems near impossible to me that someone like her couldn't have come across this sort of information. I groaned out loud when she got a bikini wax and then loudly berated the beautician, and then again when she thought the pizza delivery man was rude for not appreciating her oh-so-gracious tip of 50 pence. And once again when she didn't wanna help a drunk old man and considered herself sensible and considerate for only getting drunk at home. And again when she refuses to clean up after herself at McDonalds (which... she's never been to despite growing up in foster care? did her foster families live on on Mars rather than in the UK??) because she'd rather have stayed at home than have to throw away her own garbage, and again and again and again. Just because she might be autistic doesn't make these traits of hers believable or acceptable.
...But, I figured Eleanor was purposely supposed to be unlikable, at least, so even though I was also just kind of bored by her pursuit of an obsessive crush on a musician she's never met and yet, as she's convinced herself, is fated to fall in love with her, and by the complete mundanity of her life (was the detailed description of her getting a bikini wax really necessary?), I continued on, because I needed to know why this was such a popular book. I figured that, throughout the course of the story, Eleanor would grow and change into someone I could sympathize with and that this book would live up to its marketing.
The first clue we get that something is seriously wrong with Eleanor is that about 10% of the way through the book, it's revealed that she has a large scar across her face, and then that her mother often called her ugly, freakish, and vile. Then we also find out that she's never known her father, but her her mother really really hates him and refers to her pregnancy as something she had no choice in. The next few pages tells us that her mother has been institutionalized for an unstated reason, and that Eleanor is clearly afraid of her.
Since neither the synopsis nor any of the marketing for this book mentioned Eleanor having a deeply traumatic past, I'm now getting even more annoyed as I feel misled and am afraid things will start getting heavier than I feel comfortable reading right now! But again, I keep going anyway. 20% in, I still find Eleanor insufferable, but at least her past, which is very heavy and depressing--filled with foster care, homeschooling by an incredibly posh and pretentious mother, some kind of fire, and an abusive boyfriend--gives me some context for why she's so rude and judgemental to everyone and seems to dislike almost everything, including both music and physics. Though, at the same time, it frustrates me that all the humor and wit this praised for seems to come from the idea that we're supposed to laugh at Eleanor for her social awkwardness and obliviousness which itself is a result of trauma and abuse. She's not quirky and funny, she's a woman suffering from, most likely, severe PTSD.
Another small thing that annoyed me: Eleanor feeling the need to point out that Sammy is fat and that she only knows which one he is at the hospital because he's so fat, and that one of the nurses is "grossly overweight" and that her striped socks make her feet "look like big fat wasps", and describes fat people as "waddling past" in the street. This is a yet another result of her posh mother's teachings, and I suppose it also makes sense given that she falls for the mysterious musician based on nothing but his looks, but it's one unlikeable characteristic of hers that I really could've done without in a book that's supposed to be super uplifting and heartwarming. These aren't the only times she judges other people's bodies, or clothing choices, either. I hope this is something she reflects on and gets past, but I simply didn't care enough to find out.
Now, that's not to say that I don't sympathize with her at all. During scenes like when she starts crying at Raymond's house, and the conversations with her mother, I definitely felt for her and wanted her to get the help she needed, but I just never felt connected to Eleanor, or even to Raymond. I don't know what it is that compelled me to keep going other than a desperate hope that things would pick up and become more enjoyable and lighthearted. I was first tempted to DNF out of pure annoyance when Eleanor made the following statement:
"Blond hair and large breasts are so cliched, so obvious. Men like Raymond, pedestrian dullards, would always be distracted by women who looked like her, having neither the wit nor the sophistication to see beyond mammaries and peroxide."
The next part where I wanted to DNF was shortly after when Eleanor's mother began calling her stupid, unreliable, a failure, and a liar over the phone. And I wanted to again the next time they talked and her mother called her a pointless waste of human tissue and made fun of her in a number of other ways. But, in spite of all my better judgement, I still kept reading! By doing so, I found out that apparently you can get out of an abusive relationship just by having someone you don't know tell you once that you shouldn't stay with people who hurt you! It's really that easy! Not only that, but if your coworkers gossip about you in front of you and call you rude nicknames, you can stop them by getting a makeover!
Eventually, at around the 50-60% mark, Eleanor did begin to soften and grow on me just a little, but... then she lost me again when she said "I'm not one to make judgements about people's personal appearances" despite having done just that multiple times during the book. I finished a few more chapters, and after chapter 27, which is near the beginning of the "bad days" section of the book, I quit. I decided it had all just gotten too depressing and that I should've quit the very first time I wanted to.
I really, really wish I had liked Eleanor. She reminds me a lot of favorite fictional characters of mine from other books, shows/movies, or video games. Only it's like she has each of their worst traits all at once, all of their different tragic backstories at the same time, combined into one over-the-top, unbelievable package, failing to feel like a realistic person as a result, and without enough positive traits to endear me to her.
Wikipedia says of this book: "The novel has been identified as a notable example of "up lit", referring to uplifting literature which features stories of kindness, compassion, and hope." The blurb makes it sound like a cute romcom and when I showed it to my girlfriend after DNFing, she said "that sounds like the description for a hallmark movie". And maybe if I'd kept reading, I would've actually felt that, but Eleanor Oliphant is Completely fine did not make me feel uplifted and happy or remind me of a hallmark movie, it just reminded me of how much I hate my own life, especially when I was subjected to a heavily descriptive suicide attempt that didn't just cross, but trampled all over the line of "things I did not wanna read about and wish I'd had a trigger warning for". And if I have to trudge through hundreds of pages worth of misery to get to the happy part, then is it really worth it? For me, I'd say no. I would much prefer some examples of uplifting literature that don't spend the majority of it actually just being heartbreakingly depressing.
So, I live under a rock and managed to completely avoid spoilers for this book no matter how long I kept putting off reading it. By the time I finally got around to it, all I knew of it was the official synopsis of it and all the buzz about how it's warm, hopeful, witty, optimistic, charming... basically the best thing ever if you're in the mood for a lighthearted, uplifting read. Which is, regrettably the exact reason I finally decided to pick it up as well as the reason I ended up so disappointed by it. Proceed with caution as this book, despite all the marketing about how it's the sweetest most heartwarming and uplifting and hilarious thing in all the world, probably requires just about half the trigger warnings that storygraph provides! I'm gonna need to stick basically my whole review under a spoiler but the tl;dr is that I could hardly stand anything about this book and I hate that the marketing made me expect it to be the complete opposite of what it is in terms of tone and content. And even if I'd known it would be so depressing, I'm pretty sure I'd still hate it just because of Eleanor as a character.
...But, I figured Eleanor was purposely supposed to be unlikable, at least, so even though I was also just kind of bored by her pursuit of an obsessive crush on a musician she's never met and yet, as she's convinced herself, is fated to fall in love with her, and by the complete mundanity of her life (was the detailed description of her getting a bikini wax really necessary?), I continued on, because I needed to know why this was such a popular book. I figured that, throughout the course of the story, Eleanor would grow and change into someone I could sympathize with and that this book would live up to its marketing.
The first clue we get that something is seriously wrong with Eleanor is that about 10% of the way through the book, it's revealed that she has a large scar across her face, and then that her mother often called her ugly, freakish, and vile. Then we also find out that she's never known her father, but her her mother really really hates him and refers to her pregnancy as something she had no choice in. The next few pages tells us that her mother has been institutionalized for an unstated reason, and that Eleanor is clearly afraid of her.
Since neither the synopsis nor any of the marketing for this book mentioned Eleanor having a deeply traumatic past, I'm now getting even more annoyed as I feel misled and am afraid things will start getting heavier than I feel comfortable reading right now! But again, I keep going anyway. 20% in, I still find Eleanor insufferable, but at least her past, which is very heavy and depressing--filled with foster care, homeschooling by an incredibly posh and pretentious mother, some kind of fire, and an abusive boyfriend--gives me some context for why she's so rude and judgemental to everyone and seems to dislike almost everything, including both music and physics. Though, at the same time, it frustrates me that all the humor and wit this praised for seems to come from the idea that we're supposed to laugh at Eleanor for her social awkwardness and obliviousness which itself is a result of trauma and abuse. She's not quirky and funny, she's a woman suffering from, most likely, severe PTSD.
Another small thing that annoyed me: Eleanor feeling the need to point out that Sammy is fat and that she only knows which one he is at the hospital because he's so fat, and that one of the nurses is "grossly overweight" and that her striped socks make her feet "look like big fat wasps", and describes fat people as "waddling past" in the street. This is a yet another result of her posh mother's teachings, and I suppose it also makes sense given that she falls for the mysterious musician based on nothing but his looks, but it's one unlikeable characteristic of hers that I really could've done without in a book that's supposed to be super uplifting and heartwarming. These aren't the only times she judges other people's bodies, or clothing choices, either. I hope this is something she reflects on and gets past, but I simply didn't care enough to find out.
Now, that's not to say that I don't sympathize with her at all. During scenes like when she starts crying at Raymond's house, and the conversations with her mother, I definitely felt for her and wanted her to get the help she needed, but I just never felt connected to Eleanor, or even to Raymond. I don't know what it is that compelled me to keep going other than a desperate hope that things would pick up and become more enjoyable and lighthearted. I was first tempted to DNF out of pure annoyance when Eleanor made the following statement:
"Blond hair and large breasts are so cliched, so obvious. Men like Raymond, pedestrian dullards, would always be distracted by women who looked like her, having neither the wit nor the sophistication to see beyond mammaries and peroxide."
The next part where I wanted to DNF was shortly after when Eleanor's mother began calling her stupid, unreliable, a failure, and a liar over the phone. And I wanted to again the next time they talked and her mother called her a pointless waste of human tissue and made fun of her in a number of other ways. But, in spite of all my better judgement, I still kept reading! By doing so, I found out that apparently you can get out of an abusive relationship just by having someone you don't know tell you once that you shouldn't stay with people who hurt you! It's really that easy! Not only that, but if your coworkers gossip about you in front of you and call you rude nicknames, you can stop them by getting a makeover!
Eventually, at around the 50-60% mark, Eleanor did begin to soften and grow on me just a little, but... then she lost me again when she said "I'm not one to make judgements about people's personal appearances" despite having done just that multiple times during the book. I finished a few more chapters, and after chapter 27, which is near the beginning of the "bad days" section of the book, I quit. I decided it had all just gotten too depressing and that I should've quit the very first time I wanted to.
I really, really wish I had liked Eleanor. She reminds me a lot of favorite fictional characters of mine from other books, shows/movies, or video games. Only it's like she has each of their worst traits all at once, all of their different tragic backstories at the same time, combined into one over-the-top, unbelievable package, failing to feel like a realistic person as a result, and without enough positive traits to endear me to her.
Wikipedia says of this book: "The novel has been identified as a notable example of "up lit", referring to uplifting literature which features stories of kindness, compassion, and hope." The blurb makes it sound like a cute romcom and when I showed it to my girlfriend after DNFing, she said "that sounds like the description for a hallmark movie". And maybe if I'd kept reading, I would've actually felt that, but Eleanor Oliphant is Completely fine did not make me feel uplifted and happy or remind me of a hallmark movie, it just reminded me of how much I hate my own life, especially when I was subjected to a heavily descriptive suicide attempt that didn't just cross, but trampled all over the line of "things I did not wanna read about and wish I'd had a trigger warning for". And if I have to trudge through hundreds of pages worth of misery to get to the happy part, then is it really worth it? For me, I'd say no. I would much prefer some examples of uplifting literature that don't spend the majority of it actually just being heartbreakingly depressing.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcoholism, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, and Suicide attempt
Moderate: Body shaming, Child death, Death, Fatphobia, and Murder
Minor: Rape, Sexual assault, and Toxic relationship
waytoomanybooks's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
If you're an awkward young adult who has a big heart, but struggles to connect with your peer group as well as with childhood trauma, then this is the book for you. It's the good, the bad, and the ugly of recovery and self-discovery. Minor spoiler: Eleanor has a well-deserved happy ending, one of which we all deserve. ♡
This book contains nearly every possible trigger Story Graph provides. Please read with caution!
This book contains nearly every possible trigger Story Graph provides. Please read with caution!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Body horror, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Child death, Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Violence, Vomit, Grief, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, and Murder
Moderate: Rape and Medical content
read_with_shawntel's review
dark
emotional
sad
fast-paced
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcoholism, Child abuse, Child death, Death, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, and Suicide attempt
akhcreates's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
reflective
fast-paced
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
I loved this book. I was quite hesitant at the start, wondering why I should be interested in following this prissy character, but I soon realized that Eleanor Oliphant is odd in many ways, but she is not simply prissy and there are very specific reasons she appears that way at first. I am very interested in mental health and I really enjoyed the nuanced way this book explores that subject matter. I grew to love all of the characters, well all but one, and I would recommend this book to most people. I would also recommend the audiobook specifically, even though I am not a huge fan of audiobooks in general.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Suicidal thoughts and Suicide
Minor: Child abuse, Child death, Emotional abuse, and Physical abuse
mgxdup's review
dark
emotional
funny
inspiring
sad
medium-paced
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Content Warnings
Moderate: Suicide
erindipities's review
emotional
funny
hopeful
medium-paced
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Alcoholism, Child abuse, Child death, Emotional abuse, and Suicide
Minor: Sexual assault
tabithalevis's review
emotional
funny
lighthearted
relaxing
sad
slow-paced
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Child death, Suicidal thoughts, and Suicide
andrea_k's review
funny
inspiring
sad
medium-paced
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Suicidal thoughts and Suicide