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debbilynn42's review against another edition
I'm not in a good headspace for this book right now with my own mental health problems and after talking with dear hubby decided its best to set it aside. I also wished in the parts I did get to that it could have acknowledged that there can be a male default parent/owner as it would better mirror our situation but I couldn't bridge the gap on my own.
brikrush's review against another edition
3.0
let’s start: are the straights okay???
this was an interesting (if depressing) read, but the author has a real neoliberal feminist/#girlboss energy that is… not great. tbh this book made me less interested in both motherhood and men than ever before.
this was an interesting (if depressing) read, but the author has a real neoliberal feminist/#girlboss energy that is… not great. tbh this book made me less interested in both motherhood and men than ever before.
kportalareads's review against another edition
Some good advice- found it boring and didn’t want to keep listening
dianashadel's review against another edition
4.0
Good book, I don’t think you have to be a mom to find value.
Nice to see that my household already has an appropriate division of tasks, and we value our time equally, the only thing I want to work on is giving myself permission to continue interests/passions/hobbies. Even though we are juggling all the things! And sleepy.
Also I love the idea of when you own a chore you own Conceiving, Planning, and Execution. Example is cooking dinner—that person owns creating the meal plan, grocery list, shopping, and cooking. Splitting up the task just creates ownership confusion and often the conceiving and planning is just as much work!
I’m going to get the deck to try playing
Nice to see that my household already has an appropriate division of tasks, and we value our time equally, the only thing I want to work on is giving myself permission to continue interests/passions/hobbies. Even though we are juggling all the things! And sleepy.
Also I love the idea of when you own a chore you own Conceiving, Planning, and Execution. Example is cooking dinner—that person owns creating the meal plan, grocery list, shopping, and cooking. Splitting up the task just creates ownership confusion and often the conceiving and planning is just as much work!
I’m going to get the deck to try playing
jampsonn16's review
3.0
*3.5 stars*
This was pretty insightful for me, and I would recommend it mainly for parents who are looking for some answers in how to navigate their shared households. If you don't have kids or are in a blended relationship or don't have a lot of support, financially or emotionally, then this probably won't be the right book for you. I also do not have kids nor am I married, but I am in a hetero relationship and have financial stability, so I am somewhat the audience for this. Keep this in mind before picking it up to avoid feeling annoyed at the author!
I appreciated the reminder to specifically women that we don't need to accept the "traditional" housewife role once we get married or start cohabitating with our partner. All partners should be putting equal effort into various things that involve your life together, whether that's household chores, childcare, big life events, finances, etc. regardless of who works outside the home or makes more money. The best way to get this figured out is to mainly have open communication with your partner about each others needs, thoughts, and desires - too many examples in this book reeked of couples who very clearly don't communicate well or never prioritized it before getting married. The concept in this book is to turn the conversation into a little bit of a game so it's not as daunting as having a drawn out heated discussion. I liked this idea, but not sure I'll do it exactly as the book describes. I personally will pick and choose what I want from this concept and apply it to my situation - I encourage anyone who reads this to do the same because we're all different!
I do want to highlight the two things I resonated with the most in this book: valuing your time and finding your unicorn space (i.e. your creative or passion outlet). I agree that too often does one person in a relationship end up sacrificing more of their time to make things run smoothly in a household while the other person somehow has free time to do things for themselves. Valuing your own time while also respecting your partner's time is a crucial point of this book that I really resonated with because I find myself falling into that trap a lot. I also definitely have fallen into the trap of not finding time for my "unicorn space," as Rodsky calls it. It's true that a lot of people truly don't have time for this because of work obligations, health issues, childcare as a single parent, lack of support, etc. But if you're in a happy, stable relationship, you and your partner should hopefully help each other out so that you each have time to do the things you're passionate about. Having a supportive partner who wants you to thrive is the best thing, so it's important to also force yourself to actually do those things you like! Don't make excuses if you truly have none (at least I need to stop doing that).
All in all, this was a good read and I liked Rodsky's approach to this concept. She wasn't judgmental or overly preachy, and it seems like she really wants this to work for couples who are having a tough time figuring it out.
This was pretty insightful for me, and I would recommend it mainly for parents who are looking for some answers in how to navigate their shared households. If you don't have kids or are in a blended relationship or don't have a lot of support, financially or emotionally, then this probably won't be the right book for you. I also do not have kids nor am I married, but I am in a hetero relationship and have financial stability, so I am somewhat the audience for this. Keep this in mind before picking it up to avoid feeling annoyed at the author!
I appreciated the reminder to specifically women that we don't need to accept the "traditional" housewife role once we get married or start cohabitating with our partner. All partners should be putting equal effort into various things that involve your life together, whether that's household chores, childcare, big life events, finances, etc. regardless of who works outside the home or makes more money. The best way to get this figured out is to mainly have open communication with your partner about each others needs, thoughts, and desires - too many examples in this book reeked of couples who very clearly don't communicate well or never prioritized it before getting married. The concept in this book is to turn the conversation into a little bit of a game so it's not as daunting as having a drawn out heated discussion. I liked this idea, but not sure I'll do it exactly as the book describes. I personally will pick and choose what I want from this concept and apply it to my situation - I encourage anyone who reads this to do the same because we're all different!
I do want to highlight the two things I resonated with the most in this book: valuing your time and finding your unicorn space (i.e. your creative or passion outlet). I agree that too often does one person in a relationship end up sacrificing more of their time to make things run smoothly in a household while the other person somehow has free time to do things for themselves. Valuing your own time while also respecting your partner's time is a crucial point of this book that I really resonated with because I find myself falling into that trap a lot. I also definitely have fallen into the trap of not finding time for my "unicorn space," as Rodsky calls it. It's true that a lot of people truly don't have time for this because of work obligations, health issues, childcare as a single parent, lack of support, etc. But if you're in a happy, stable relationship, you and your partner should hopefully help each other out so that you each have time to do the things you're passionate about. Having a supportive partner who wants you to thrive is the best thing, so it's important to also force yourself to actually do those things you like! Don't make excuses if you truly have none (at least I need to stop doing that).
All in all, this was a good read and I liked Rodsky's approach to this concept. She wasn't judgmental or overly preachy, and it seems like she really wants this to work for couples who are having a tough time figuring it out.
sarahlawton's review against another edition
medium-paced
4.0
The beginning of this book had some great and important concepts, but I found the last few chapters to be quite repetitive (and therefore only skimmed them).
sloatley's review
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
3.0
Helpful perspectives and methods for dividing household responsibilities more equitably.