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ayealba's review against another edition
5.0
Powerful insight into the porn industry and a great piece of journalism.
It shouldn't be all on the performer to yell cut or look after their own safety especially when their livelihood and the livelihood of everyone in that room is hanging over her. There should be protections and people on set to regulate this industry who don't have a stake in pushing a performer out of their comfort zone. If someone was on set periodically pulling her aside away from that pressurized environment maybe she could have had a way to communicate her feelings without the fear of judgement and retaliation. Nor should she have to be primed to accept the situation by people telling her that the male performer liked things a certain way. Consent is a thing that should be reinforced that can be withdrawn at any time. Rather than expected to be given up at the beginning if a colleague feels he's prepped her enough by giving vague warnings or downplayed the reality enough so that she feels compelled to not make a fuss.
Kevin's part in this is probably the most difficult part to reconcile. Emotional abuse is a hard thing to gauge and I appreciated Ronson's take on the issue. I have been in a relationship with a man like Kevin and it's really difficult to separate the intentional harm that is being done from the nonchalant indifference they can display towards their partner.
Even years later I still go back and forth as to what extent his controlling behaviour was consciously done. It's made more difficult by that person obscuring the truth from even themselves and their ability to dodge accountability. Like Ronson said there is a large disconnect with how they see themselves and present to the rest of society. Unlike Ronson however I don't think Kevin ever had any intention of saving August and merely saw the women he dates as more exploitable. Even if Kevin would never admit that to himself.
Even in a normal day to day situation the onus is generally on the women to act better and take responsibility for men's bad behaviour. I can only imagine the pressure is ten fold in an industry that involves sex. Kevin and August's relationship is almost a microcosm of the porn industry as a whole. The female participant is wholly expected to take on the responsibility for her own comfort/safety and that of her partners pleasure/mental health yet not expected to complain. If she does complain she is heavily shamed, villainized and her mental health is weaponized against her. She was put in unwinnable situations both at home and at work. Even in her last moments she was more concerned that Kevin shouldn't have to discover her body than for her own wellbeing.
Kevin's conclusion (like Ronson said his one moment of genuine self reflection) in the end seems the most poignant. "We are all complicit in what happened to August". I think that is true. What happened to August Ames could have been avoided if the industry, her colleagues, or the consumers cared about the performers and their safety. Not just mental health but the safety and the ability to feel like you can speak up. She was put in a horrible position if she had been given any avenue for support then she would have felt safer speaking up (Concerning the Markus Dupree incident)
Someone said that there is nothing new here in another review. It's certainly old ground but I think hearing a personal story brings it more to life than hearing again "We need more accountability". Especially for porn performers who we tend to dehumanize, ignore and blame while we simultaneously use them for our own amusement.
.
It shouldn't be all on the performer to yell cut or look after their own safety especially when their livelihood and the livelihood of everyone in that room is hanging over her. There should be protections and people on set to regulate this industry who don't have a stake in pushing a performer out of their comfort zone. If someone was on set periodically pulling her aside away from that pressurized environment maybe she could have had a way to communicate her feelings without the fear of judgement and retaliation. Nor should she have to be primed to accept the situation by people telling her that the male performer liked things a certain way. Consent is a thing that should be reinforced that can be withdrawn at any time. Rather than expected to be given up at the beginning if a colleague feels he's prepped her enough by giving vague warnings or downplayed the reality enough so that she feels compelled to not make a fuss.
Kevin's part in this is probably the most difficult part to reconcile. Emotional abuse is a hard thing to gauge and I appreciated Ronson's take on the issue. I have been in a relationship with a man like Kevin and it's really difficult to separate the intentional harm that is being done from the nonchalant indifference they can display towards their partner.
Even years later I still go back and forth as to what extent his controlling behaviour was consciously done. It's made more difficult by that person obscuring the truth from even themselves and their ability to dodge accountability. Like Ronson said there is a large disconnect with how they see themselves and present to the rest of society. Unlike Ronson however I don't think Kevin ever had any intention of saving August and merely saw the women he dates as more exploitable. Even if Kevin would never admit that to himself.
Even in a normal day to day situation the onus is generally on the women to act better and take responsibility for men's bad behaviour. I can only imagine the pressure is ten fold in an industry that involves sex. Kevin and August's relationship is almost a microcosm of the porn industry as a whole. The female participant is wholly expected to take on the responsibility for her own comfort/safety and that of her partners pleasure/mental health yet not expected to complain. If she does complain she is heavily shamed, villainized and her mental health is weaponized against her. She was put in unwinnable situations both at home and at work. Even in her last moments she was more concerned that Kevin shouldn't have to discover her body than for her own wellbeing.
Kevin's conclusion (like Ronson said his one moment of genuine self reflection) in the end seems the most poignant. "We are all complicit in what happened to August". I think that is true. What happened to August Ames could have been avoided if the industry, her colleagues, or the consumers cared about the performers and their safety. Not just mental health but the safety and the ability to feel like you can speak up. She was put in a horrible position if she had been given any avenue for support then she would have felt safer speaking up (Concerning the Markus Dupree incident)
Someone said that there is nothing new here in another review. It's certainly old ground but I think hearing a personal story brings it more to life than hearing again "We need more accountability". Especially for porn performers who we tend to dehumanize, ignore and blame while we simultaneously use them for our own amusement.
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ericthec's review against another edition
4.0
A good documentary of a sad story of broken people. Free on Amazon for Prime members.
beingshort's review
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
mysterious
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
4.0
grace1994's review against another edition
4.0
4.5/5
Not sure if I should count this as a book I've read or not, as some would count it as an audiobook and others as a podcast but, anyway... I really enjoyed this, as I often do with Jon Ronson's stuff. Really makes you question a lot of things about internet culture, the porn industry, mental health and much more. Really enjoyed and would recommend
Not sure if I should count this as a book I've read or not, as some would count it as an audiobook and others as a podcast but, anyway... I really enjoyed this, as I often do with Jon Ronson's stuff. Really makes you question a lot of things about internet culture, the porn industry, mental health and much more. Really enjoyed and would recommend
lisawreading's review against another edition
3.0
This is a look into the suicide of porn actress August Ames, and the various factors that led to her fatal actions. Was it online bullying? Was it a destructive marriage? Was it the pressures of the industry? Jon Ronson narrates his investigation into the life and sad death of August, and while he doesn't come up with any easy answers, the story told paints a portrait of a woman worn down by her life and by mental illness at much too early an age, and at the same time illustrates some of the sad truths of women in the industry as a whole. It's a moving, interesting listen, although the takeaways are a little muddled at times.
revellee's review against another edition
2.0
Multiple times in this book the author and narrator says he’s not telling a murder mystery yet he incessantly sets up each chapter, each transition, and each snippet of interview as if he is telling a murder mystery and some truth bomb is about to go off. And he spoon feeds it in an annoying manner, such as “I tell you this now because it becomes important later” or “this detail is important when we discuss such and such” sort of narration. Give the reader some credit for connecting dots on his or her own. But then there aren’t really any dots to connect are there? He’s intentionally sensationalizing a story about a woman with a traumatic history and mental health issues who commits suicide.
I gave a star for at least broaching a somewhat misunderstood and taboo industry with some professionalism and candor.
I gave a star for at least broaching a somewhat misunderstood and taboo industry with some professionalism and candor.
affyfe's review against another edition
2.0
While not my choice of a book, I was in the car while this book was on so I listened (to most of it). This had an interesting premise, but as most true crime stuff goes, it was unsatisfying in the end. Not really recommended.