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dhrutipathak's review against another edition
4.0
Powerful and eye opening 3.5 stars rounded up to 4
gracefullypunk's review against another edition
2.0
It's been over a month since I've finished this book and I still am not sure how to properly review it. I guess my major issue with it is that Sex Object really added nothing new to my worldview. A woman being treated like an object on the streets of New York City? Of course it makes me angry. But it never made think.
Now to the sex. Of course with a title like "Sex Object," you're going to expect a little sex. But if Valenti was trying to leave us with the impression that she was having all the sex because all her life she'd been treated like a sex object...well, that didn't happen. She just seemed to be relaying stories of her sex life while staying almost completely detached from them.
Meanwhile, despite this being a memoir, Valenti manages to leave out great important chunks of her life, assuming we simply know about them because she's achieved a certain level of fame. No, I don't know about your acrimonious split with Feministing. How about first telling me how Feministing came to be, even? Or how you ended up in feminist writing, rather than providing vague statements such as "at this time I'd started writing more and more about feminism" (this is not a direct quote; it's the impression I'm left with).
I've read Valenti's essays. They often get me fired up. This book, however, left me feeling flat, disconnected, detached. I wondered about its point, about what Valenti was even trying to say. And I was left thinking there might be only one way to come to feminism. I'm sure that wasn't her intention, but that's what I came away with.
Now to the sex. Of course with a title like "Sex Object," you're going to expect a little sex. But if Valenti was trying to leave us with the impression that she was having all the sex because all her life she'd been treated like a sex object...well, that didn't happen. She just seemed to be relaying stories of her sex life while staying almost completely detached from them.
Meanwhile, despite this being a memoir, Valenti manages to leave out great important chunks of her life, assuming we simply know about them because she's achieved a certain level of fame. No, I don't know about your acrimonious split with Feministing. How about first telling me how Feministing came to be, even? Or how you ended up in feminist writing, rather than providing vague statements such as "at this time I'd started writing more and more about feminism" (this is not a direct quote; it's the impression I'm left with).
I've read Valenti's essays. They often get me fired up. This book, however, left me feeling flat, disconnected, detached. I wondered about its point, about what Valenti was even trying to say. And I was left thinking there might be only one way to come to feminism. I'm sure that wasn't her intention, but that's what I came away with.
bat11692's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
tense
fast-paced
A tough one to rate with stars. I appreciate that Valenti is self-aware enough to preface the book with a message that says this won’t be an inspiring, laugh-in-the-face-of-hardship book. Sometimes to be a woman is downright depressing, and it’s valid to express those feelings.
I think what I found frustrating about this memoir is that so much of *my* feminism is based on the system that harms women, rather than individual men. That’s not to say that there haven’t been many individual men that have wronged me in some way and induced my female rage. And I understand that individual men act the way they do because the system in place empowers them to do so. But so much of Valenti’s feminism seems to center around dating shitty men, and it just felt reductive to me. Feminism is not dating a string of shitty men and then finding the right one to settle down with. I know this is a memoir and it’s HER story to tell, but I was just craving more depth from this one.
On a positive note, this book made me more self-aware of my own judgments and biases. I pride myself on being a feminist, yet I found myself asking Valenti, “why did you do that? Why didn’t you do this? Why did you take those drugs? Why did you get blackout drunk? Why did it take you so long to get your shit together?” and I realized that despite my values, I still have victim-blaming ingrained in me. A good reminder that there’s always self-work to be done
ejhurl22's review against another edition
5.0
I loved this book. It seems to turn people off because of the title but it actually explains women and their roles in society's and how people view them. Women in society are
Still not paid the same as men they are treated like sexual objects and not often get respect. Jessica explores her experiences as a women and then talks about history of women. Interesting read ! Definitely recommend it !
Still not paid the same as men they are treated like sexual objects and not often get respect. Jessica explores her experiences as a women and then talks about history of women. Interesting read ! Definitely recommend it !
bookph1le's review against another edition
4.0
This book is very raw, particularly when Valenti details her near-death delivery experience and its aftermath.
When it comes to her experiences with dating and just being a woman in the world, they're sadly familiar. I wouldn't wish the dehumanization on anyone, but I do wish more men would try to understand the toll that takes. Valenti is spot on when she discusses how women try to laugh it off, pretend it didn't take a toll. Fact is, it does take a toll. You work hard not to let it define or limit you, but as she says, there are times when you tire of trying to rise above it and wish that, instead, you lived in a world that acknowledged your humanity. I can't even imagine what a world like that would be like, but I sure how my kids will know.
That is why Valenti's work is important. The more women put their experiences out there, the better. Social media makes it increasingly difficult for this stuff to hide under a rock, and that's all to the good. As this book illustrates, that doesn't make the reality easy to live with, though.
When it comes to her experiences with dating and just being a woman in the world, they're sadly familiar. I wouldn't wish the dehumanization on anyone, but I do wish more men would try to understand the toll that takes. Valenti is spot on when she discusses how women try to laugh it off, pretend it didn't take a toll. Fact is, it does take a toll. You work hard not to let it define or limit you, but as she says, there are times when you tire of trying to rise above it and wish that, instead, you lived in a world that acknowledged your humanity. I can't even imagine what a world like that would be like, but I sure how my kids will know.
That is why Valenti's work is important. The more women put their experiences out there, the better. Social media makes it increasingly difficult for this stuff to hide under a rock, and that's all to the good. As this book illustrates, that doesn't make the reality easy to live with, though.