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3.81 AVERAGE
3.81 AVERAGE
dark
funny
informative
fast-paced
This memoir packed a punch for such a short read. It vividly brought to light many of the internal struggles and musings of the author. I do wish more would have been said about his more recent years, but I was early childhood and adolescence were comedically and graphically covered!
Grappige en originele hersenspinsels over hoe religie een plek inneemt in je leven terwijl je daar zelf niet voor kiest. En hoe ermee te breken terwijl je dat eigenlijk niet durft.
i felt like this book had one joke and that joke was repeated throughout the entire book. it was funny the first few times but got old real quick. i think i might not have finished this book if i hadn't been on a long plane trip.
There were whole paragraphs and then some I read and laughed out loud and then read out loud to my husband, laughing again. What a miserable childhood and what a mature adult perspective on it.
Shalom Auslander has to be my brother from another mother and I'm not even Jewish.
Auslander was raised in the Orthodox Jewish neighborhood of Monsey, New York. He was taught to fear God something fierce and this fear turned into resentment and rebellion. He abandoned the Jewish path in life, but the dysfunctional teachings that had been drilled into him stick to his psyche like napalm. He can't shake his belief in the existence of this Jewish God, and this God is a prick in his opinion. A prick that plays cruel jokes and threatens to punish you for every minor transgression.
If you've had any depressing brushes with Christianity, you can probably also relate. I certainly could. I consumed this book in a short period of time because of the depth to which I can relate to how much damage can be done Judaism or Christianity when it is not centered on love, grace, mercy and peace. My negative thoughts about God's nature have healed, but this book was like re-visiting an old wound.
Reading this book sent me into a bit of a depression as it brought up some of my own God-angst issues. The difference is that there is a part of me that knows that in spite of what it looks like, God is love. I prefer pronoia to pessimism.
Auslander was raised in the Orthodox Jewish neighborhood of Monsey, New York. He was taught to fear God something fierce and this fear turned into resentment and rebellion. He abandoned the Jewish path in life, but the dysfunctional teachings that had been drilled into him stick to his psyche like napalm. He can't shake his belief in the existence of this Jewish God, and this God is a prick in his opinion. A prick that plays cruel jokes and threatens to punish you for every minor transgression.
If you've had any depressing brushes with Christianity, you can probably also relate. I certainly could. I consumed this book in a short period of time because of the depth to which I can relate to how much damage can be done Judaism or Christianity when it is not centered on love, grace, mercy and peace. My negative thoughts about God's nature have healed, but this book was like re-visiting an old wound.
Reading this book sent me into a bit of a depression as it brought up some of my own God-angst issues. The difference is that there is a part of me that knows that in spite of what it looks like, God is love. I prefer pronoia to pessimism.
I wanted to like it more---I really did. I just found it difficult to like the narrator (or his writing style) at times. I'd give it 3 1/2 stars.
As the author tells us that Rabbi Kahan told us that the sages tell us that the Torah tells us that to get to the holy wall in the holy City of Jerusalem you gotta hike down a mountain, jump into a cab , get on a bus, get on another bus, and walk fifteen minutes through the narrow alleyways of the old City.
Once there, don't write fuck you on the note to God to stick in the wall.
Because God can go fucking bat shit when he reads that.
Then you'll try digging the note out of the crevices and then you'll be taken out of the plaza by Kotel security.
See where this is going?
Foreskin's lament is a rambling, angry, hysterically funny, bit-overdone, bit-to-long coming of age memoir.
It's funny. Skip some pages. Laugh.
Once there, don't write fuck you on the note to God to stick in the wall.
Because God can go fucking bat shit when he reads that.
Then you'll try digging the note out of the crevices and then you'll be taken out of the plaza by Kotel security.
See where this is going?
Foreskin's lament is a rambling, angry, hysterically funny, bit-overdone, bit-to-long coming of age memoir.
It's funny. Skip some pages. Laugh.
This American Life contributor Shalom Auslander's memoir about growing up in a dysfunctional Orthodox Jewish family. Most of the humor springs from his hysterical (in the mental health sense) and narcissistic God persecution complex, which is part and parcel with the abusive alcoholic father that he grew up with. Very angry, funny book, and some sort of poignant but incredibly immature bits about male teen sexuality. Notable (to me) passages on why shoplifting from adult bookstores is hard, and on how and why to fictionalize your girlfriend.
This is not really the same as David Sedaris' writing, although Auslander's speaking voice is strikingly similar to Sedaris, and some of the subjects covered are similar... but I would say, even more than Sedaris, Auslander is really, really, REALLY not for little kids.
You will hate this book if you cannot take someone pretty much endlessly railing on God. You may also not agree with or like his decision to cut his family out of his life.
This is not really the same as David Sedaris' writing, although Auslander's speaking voice is strikingly similar to Sedaris, and some of the subjects covered are similar... but I would say, even more than Sedaris, Auslander is really, really, REALLY not for little kids.
You will hate this book if you cannot take someone pretty much endlessly railing on God. You may also not agree with or like his decision to cut his family out of his life.
3/5 stars
"Quibblers, beggars, and handshakers."
Well written to not say much
*******
Just trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be learning from this book that I didn't already know.
It continued the trend of well written off-the-derech memoirs.
The author had good turns of phrase and a morbid sense of humor.
(p. 172) " Real Kelly was brunette. She had big breasts, but as a symptom of her rather serious weight problem, they didn't really count. She clearly had not played lacrosse, or even gone for a brisk walk, in a very long time."
(p.59) "To be good with your hands in the world that judged people by their heads. To be a Creator in the world that kneeled before quibblers, beggars, and handshakers. I was beginning to want to flood the Earth myself."
It also continued the trend of memoirs written by people that are meant to cast aspersions on Orthodoxy, but more demonstrate that the casters themselves have problems.
In point of fact: I don't know what this guy was on about.
1. Did he have masochistic personality disorder? (Something was quite clearly wrong with him--and you would have to conclude that, because healthy people move away from pain and toward pleasure. And this author most certainly did not do that, and in fact did the opposite.)
Self-generated sexual frustration is something that takes up quite a few pages in the book.
But, it seems like the Jewish author mentions three or four times an interest in Black women. (So much for that stereotype.)
And if that really is/was true, then the author would have been spoiled for choice for sexual partners. (The few white men that have a stomach for black women have a great deal to choose from, and the author could easily have had his own stable.)
To be fair, a lot of people with normal sexual desires get into a LOT of trouble living within certain sectors of Orthodoxy. (Concupiscent Reva Mann.)
And the lack of a healthy outlet causes a lot of people to misdirect their sexual energies. (Child sexual abuse cases are something that I read about on a semi-monthly basis. And, in Kayley Sciortino's book "Slutever," Haredim showed up quite a bit. In sex dungeons. And as dominatrix clients.)
But Auslander was a different thing: He knew exactly what he wanted but just would not allow himself to have it.
Finally, even when he got his wife..... he couldn't think about how to enjoy what was before him.
What an idiot.
2. WTF? (p.255). The author was trying to eliminate his sexual impulses by hitting his junk with the meat tenderizer / heavy dictionary?
You got all that?
*******
I have read quite a few of these OTD memoirs.
8, to be precise. (Including this one.)
°Reva Mann--"The Rabbi's Daughter." (Pathologically concupiscent. Standard Bored White Person Seeking Inner Peace from problems that self generate as a result of too much spare time/money.)
°Leah Lax--"Uncovered." (Grandiose lesbian.)
°Deborah Feldman-- "Unorthodox"/"Exodus". (Drama Junkie.)
°Leah Vincent--"Sin and Salvation." (Borderline personality. Self harm.)
°Abby Stein--"Becoming Eve." (Uncertain. Transgender, but definitely with drama junkie tendencies.)
°Rachel/Ruth Shilsky--"The Color of Water." (Sexual abuse. Teenage pregnancy.)
°Shulem Deen--"All Who Go Do Not Return" (Normal guy with pointless doubts.)
Excepting Lax, all of the books were extremely well written--and even some of them by people who spoke English as a second language later in life.
My synopsis of this one would be:
An angry, 300 page meditation about a masochistic man's relationship with Gd.
Auslander's questions only make sense in the context of somebody that believes that Gd is personal and concerned about an individual life. (p.146): "Craig is a nice guy, but he was raised with Reform Judaism. Theologically, I have more in common with a Christian."
True words spoken.
My experience has been that the majority of Orthodox/Haredim don't even believe in Gd--as evidenced by their actions toward fellow Jews (converts, people from families that are not quite as prestigious).
And for the minority that does believe in Gd, they don't think of him as in any way personal--and life is what it is.
With respect to the author's questions: For the life of me, I can't understand why anybody spends so much effort trying to rationalize a "relationship" with Gd-nor why it was such a sticking point for this obviously very intelligent author.
My question is: "Once you have the nature of The Divine all sorted in your mind in a way that makes sense to you...... then what? "
Is the house note no longer due?
Do you get a million dollar check in your box?
Do your wife's stretch marks disappear?
Shulem Deen (aforementioned) wrote a book about trying to theologically rationalize Gd, and because he could not he gave up a relationship with all 5 of his children. (They wanted no part of him after he became irreligious.)
He and his wife also got divorced and community leaders assigned her another husband.
So, after all that searching.... he has a concept of the existence/non existence of God that makes sense to him.
And no relationship with his offspring.
And another man disciplining his children-- with all the problems that the relative ranking of stepchildren within a household entail. .
And the same other man mounting and having more children with his (former) wife.
So now what?
If your arm hurts, just don't bend it.
If asking too many theological questions about Gd leads you down the wrong path, then *just don't ask them*.
*******
A number of things make me believe that it is not the Orthodox religious life that was Auslander's problem.
It was more likely that: The enemy was in the mirror all along.
1. The author's parents were not frum from birth--and this is not the first time that I have read / seen the story about two parents that are not totally committed to Judaism and give their children conflicting messages. (This was the story in the Leah Lax book, "Uncovered.")
2. A lot of his impressions of Orthodoxy were formed by his schooling underneath Monstrous Ashkenazi Haredim. (A significant fraction of those guys are about as pleasant as rectal cancer, and Faranak Margolese has written an entire book about people who leave the path of Judaism just because of unpleasant experiences dealing with them.)
But, for all of their visibility/optics/ great bulk.... they are only 6% of United States Jewry.
Was there no other type of Jewish community that Auslander could have joined that would have made a little bit more sense?
Maybe some Modern Orthodox? Or some Sephardim? (Plenty of them in New York.)
But then, even if there was some community that was pleasant, Auslander would have *found* a way to not enjoy it.
Like, it appears, everything else.
3. Auslander's parents had severe problems of their own--and those things had nothing to do with Judaism. (p. 12): "That night, my father, drunk on a bottle of blush Chablis.... grabbed my older brother by his shirt collar and dragged him away from the Shabbat table... When my brother returned to the table, his nose was bleeding."
4. Is it just my imagination, or is it only well-fed white people with too much spare time on their hands find trash like this to torture themselves about?
Auslander probably didn't make enough money to to support himself for most of the book, but he was never homeless nor hungry.
And he talked about being sent on a trip to Israel and given a weekly allowance.
Something makes me believe that if he had to worry about where the next crust of bread was coming from or how to make tuition payments for his children in this book would never have been written.
Verdict: This book is okay at the price of about $3.
"Quibblers, beggars, and handshakers."
Well written to not say much
*******
Just trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be learning from this book that I didn't already know.
It continued the trend of well written off-the-derech memoirs.
The author had good turns of phrase and a morbid sense of humor.
(p. 172) " Real Kelly was brunette. She had big breasts, but as a symptom of her rather serious weight problem, they didn't really count. She clearly had not played lacrosse, or even gone for a brisk walk, in a very long time."
(p.59) "To be good with your hands in the world that judged people by their heads. To be a Creator in the world that kneeled before quibblers, beggars, and handshakers. I was beginning to want to flood the Earth myself."
It also continued the trend of memoirs written by people that are meant to cast aspersions on Orthodoxy, but more demonstrate that the casters themselves have problems.
In point of fact: I don't know what this guy was on about.
1. Did he have masochistic personality disorder? (Something was quite clearly wrong with him--and you would have to conclude that, because healthy people move away from pain and toward pleasure. And this author most certainly did not do that, and in fact did the opposite.)
Self-generated sexual frustration is something that takes up quite a few pages in the book.
But, it seems like the Jewish author mentions three or four times an interest in Black women. (So much for that stereotype.)
And if that really is/was true, then the author would have been spoiled for choice for sexual partners. (The few white men that have a stomach for black women have a great deal to choose from, and the author could easily have had his own stable.)
To be fair, a lot of people with normal sexual desires get into a LOT of trouble living within certain sectors of Orthodoxy. (Concupiscent Reva Mann.)
And the lack of a healthy outlet causes a lot of people to misdirect their sexual energies. (Child sexual abuse cases are something that I read about on a semi-monthly basis. And, in Kayley Sciortino's book "Slutever," Haredim showed up quite a bit. In sex dungeons. And as dominatrix clients.)
But Auslander was a different thing: He knew exactly what he wanted but just would not allow himself to have it.
Finally, even when he got his wife..... he couldn't think about how to enjoy what was before him.
What an idiot.
2. WTF? (p.255). The author was trying to eliminate his sexual impulses by hitting his junk with the meat tenderizer / heavy dictionary?
You got all that?
*******
I have read quite a few of these OTD memoirs.
8, to be precise. (Including this one.)
°Reva Mann--"The Rabbi's Daughter." (Pathologically concupiscent. Standard Bored White Person Seeking Inner Peace from problems that self generate as a result of too much spare time/money.)
°Leah Lax--"Uncovered." (Grandiose lesbian.)
°Deborah Feldman-- "Unorthodox"/"Exodus". (Drama Junkie.)
°Leah Vincent--"Sin and Salvation." (Borderline personality. Self harm.)
°Abby Stein--"Becoming Eve." (Uncertain. Transgender, but definitely with drama junkie tendencies.)
°Rachel/Ruth Shilsky--"The Color of Water." (Sexual abuse. Teenage pregnancy.)
°Shulem Deen--"All Who Go Do Not Return" (Normal guy with pointless doubts.)
Excepting Lax, all of the books were extremely well written--and even some of them by people who spoke English as a second language later in life.
My synopsis of this one would be:
An angry, 300 page meditation about a masochistic man's relationship with Gd.
Auslander's questions only make sense in the context of somebody that believes that Gd is personal and concerned about an individual life. (p.146): "Craig is a nice guy, but he was raised with Reform Judaism. Theologically, I have more in common with a Christian."
True words spoken.
My experience has been that the majority of Orthodox/Haredim don't even believe in Gd--as evidenced by their actions toward fellow Jews (converts, people from families that are not quite as prestigious).
And for the minority that does believe in Gd, they don't think of him as in any way personal--and life is what it is.
With respect to the author's questions: For the life of me, I can't understand why anybody spends so much effort trying to rationalize a "relationship" with Gd-nor why it was such a sticking point for this obviously very intelligent author.
My question is: "Once you have the nature of The Divine all sorted in your mind in a way that makes sense to you...... then what? "
Is the house note no longer due?
Do you get a million dollar check in your box?
Do your wife's stretch marks disappear?
Shulem Deen (aforementioned) wrote a book about trying to theologically rationalize Gd, and because he could not he gave up a relationship with all 5 of his children. (They wanted no part of him after he became irreligious.)
He and his wife also got divorced and community leaders assigned her another husband.
So, after all that searching.... he has a concept of the existence/non existence of God that makes sense to him.
And no relationship with his offspring.
And another man disciplining his children-- with all the problems that the relative ranking of stepchildren within a household entail. .
And the same other man mounting and having more children with his (former) wife.
So now what?
If your arm hurts, just don't bend it.
If asking too many theological questions about Gd leads you down the wrong path, then *just don't ask them*.
*******
A number of things make me believe that it is not the Orthodox religious life that was Auslander's problem.
It was more likely that: The enemy was in the mirror all along.
1. The author's parents were not frum from birth--and this is not the first time that I have read / seen the story about two parents that are not totally committed to Judaism and give their children conflicting messages. (This was the story in the Leah Lax book, "Uncovered.")
2. A lot of his impressions of Orthodoxy were formed by his schooling underneath Monstrous Ashkenazi Haredim. (A significant fraction of those guys are about as pleasant as rectal cancer, and Faranak Margolese has written an entire book about people who leave the path of Judaism just because of unpleasant experiences dealing with them.)
But, for all of their visibility/optics/ great bulk.... they are only 6% of United States Jewry.
Was there no other type of Jewish community that Auslander could have joined that would have made a little bit more sense?
Maybe some Modern Orthodox? Or some Sephardim? (Plenty of them in New York.)
But then, even if there was some community that was pleasant, Auslander would have *found* a way to not enjoy it.
Like, it appears, everything else.
3. Auslander's parents had severe problems of their own--and those things had nothing to do with Judaism. (p. 12): "That night, my father, drunk on a bottle of blush Chablis.... grabbed my older brother by his shirt collar and dragged him away from the Shabbat table... When my brother returned to the table, his nose was bleeding."
4. Is it just my imagination, or is it only well-fed white people with too much spare time on their hands find trash like this to torture themselves about?
Auslander probably didn't make enough money to to support himself for most of the book, but he was never homeless nor hungry.
And he talked about being sent on a trip to Israel and given a weekly allowance.
Something makes me believe that if he had to worry about where the next crust of bread was coming from or how to make tuition payments for his children in this book would never have been written.
Verdict: This book is okay at the price of about $3.