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2.87 AVERAGE
2.87 AVERAGE
fast-paced
I feel like a better title for this book would be "How to Converse Like Your Annoying Boisterous Boomer Boss Who Thinks He's Funny But You Only Laugh Out of Fear and Awkwardness"
Not a pithy or eye catching title, but far more accurate.
Most of the critiques here are about how this book doesn't really cover witty banter, but that isn't the real problem. I read those critiques before checking out this book and I was not prepared for the actual problems of this book.
The problem? It's bad. Really bad. Do not take this man's advice on social interactions because it is bad.
Don't get me wrong, there is some good stuff here. A lot of it is well known in liguistics and psychology, he's just renamed it and pretended like he thought it up (and maybe he truly thinks that), but King makes it accessible and I get the sense that he is a genuinely personable sort.
I liked the part about having a conversational resume. I thought that was good advice and if he built this book around that structure, it would have been far more interesting and helpful. I liked his tip about free association and wish he had offered more examples and exercises to strengthen that skill. I thought his tip about adding boundaries to a conversation was also good advice. He's also got a few points about making your conversation partner feel heard and comfortable that are important and could have been expanded on. I also like the part about not always taking conversations literally.
However, the rest of his advice, particularly on humor and wit, is just terrible. I feel like this book, which is probably aimed at young men, could actually lead a person who truly needs help understanding the dynamics of conversation down the wrong path.
At one point he suggests posing thought experiments and then proceeds to give an example about cannibalism. It wasn't funny or witty, it was weird. Sure, I've had that conversation before (with friends after a night of drinking), but if I'm having conversation with someone at a party I would be very creeped out by this line of questioning. Did he offer some good advice on how to frame a difficult question so it's more likely to be answered? Sure. Well, no. He offered Ok advice, but presenting thought experiments as some sort of mind blowing technique that will make you appear witty will just end with some innocent person getting throughly skeeved out by whatever poor soul picked up this book and took it seriously.
Many parts of this book made me uncomfortable and gave me flashbacks to colllege when I exclusively dated the kind of men who self identified as Machiavellian. It felt smarmy and disingenuous. In fact, King encourages readers to lie. The book is incredibly inauthentic and I feel like if I ever met King with his Hawaiian shirts and fake stories and lame humor, I would feel uncomfortable. He doesn't know how to be himself. I hated him through parts of the book, But by the end I felt sorry for him. He has no presence, he's the class clown that doesn't realize he's grown up.
I didn't know anything about the author when I checked out this book. Halfway through (I think after the cannibalism chapter) I decided to look this guy up. He was giving me Crazy Uncle vibes, so I just assumed he was a middle aged white guy who is constantly making terrible jokes because no one has the heart to tell him he's lame. I was surprised to see that I was wrong, but it did shed light on how this guy could think these techniques work. He is a pleasant looking and neat person. Pleasant looking neat people can make bad jokes and talk about cannibalism and people will laugh because people like pleasant looking neat people. His advice on an average person will not get the same mileage. I also feel like he may not consider how some of his advice might work on a livong breathing woman coming from an average looking and not so neat or respectable appearing man.
It's like getting money advice from a rich person. At a certain point you have to accept that certain people are working with better resources.
Some of his examples/advice came off as threatening to me, a woman. As a man, I don't think King thought about how some of his advice might come off to women, and what exactly he was telling men to do and say to female conversation partners.
I'm okay with the fact that this book wasn't what I wanted. I picked It up because I wanted to know more about the inner workings of humor in conversation and I wanted tips on how to get my own natural humor to shine through. I wanted more presence in my micro interactions, and this book felt more like pick up artist tips. Whatever, that's okay.
But my problem with his book is that there are a lot of people who do struggle with social interactions due to neurodivergence, circumstance, anxiety, and trauma. An accessible book breaking down the inner workings of chit chat could be really helpful for some people, but this book ain't it. The examples are lame, based entirely on the author's personal experience, and lead readers down a path to being inauthentic and inappropriate.
Do not buy this book and for the love of all things good in this world do not hire this man to consult you. Unless you want goofy uncle vibes, then knock yourself out (but don't talk to me!)
Not a pithy or eye catching title, but far more accurate.
Most of the critiques here are about how this book doesn't really cover witty banter, but that isn't the real problem. I read those critiques before checking out this book and I was not prepared for the actual problems of this book.
The problem? It's bad. Really bad. Do not take this man's advice on social interactions because it is bad.
Don't get me wrong, there is some good stuff here. A lot of it is well known in liguistics and psychology, he's just renamed it and pretended like he thought it up (and maybe he truly thinks that), but King makes it accessible and I get the sense that he is a genuinely personable sort.
I liked the part about having a conversational resume. I thought that was good advice and if he built this book around that structure, it would have been far more interesting and helpful. I liked his tip about free association and wish he had offered more examples and exercises to strengthen that skill. I thought his tip about adding boundaries to a conversation was also good advice. He's also got a few points about making your conversation partner feel heard and comfortable that are important and could have been expanded on. I also like the part about not always taking conversations literally.
However, the rest of his advice, particularly on humor and wit, is just terrible. I feel like this book, which is probably aimed at young men, could actually lead a person who truly needs help understanding the dynamics of conversation down the wrong path.
At one point he suggests posing thought experiments and then proceeds to give an example about cannibalism. It wasn't funny or witty, it was weird. Sure, I've had that conversation before (with friends after a night of drinking), but if I'm having conversation with someone at a party I would be very creeped out by this line of questioning. Did he offer some good advice on how to frame a difficult question so it's more likely to be answered? Sure. Well, no. He offered Ok advice, but presenting thought experiments as some sort of mind blowing technique that will make you appear witty will just end with some innocent person getting throughly skeeved out by whatever poor soul picked up this book and took it seriously.
Many parts of this book made me uncomfortable and gave me flashbacks to colllege when I exclusively dated the kind of men who self identified as Machiavellian. It felt smarmy and disingenuous. In fact, King encourages readers to lie. The book is incredibly inauthentic and I feel like if I ever met King with his Hawaiian shirts and fake stories and lame humor, I would feel uncomfortable. He doesn't know how to be himself. I hated him through parts of the book, But by the end I felt sorry for him. He has no presence, he's the class clown that doesn't realize he's grown up.
I didn't know anything about the author when I checked out this book. Halfway through (I think after the cannibalism chapter) I decided to look this guy up. He was giving me Crazy Uncle vibes, so I just assumed he was a middle aged white guy who is constantly making terrible jokes because no one has the heart to tell him he's lame. I was surprised to see that I was wrong, but it did shed light on how this guy could think these techniques work. He is a pleasant looking and neat person. Pleasant looking neat people can make bad jokes and talk about cannibalism and people will laugh because people like pleasant looking neat people. His advice on an average person will not get the same mileage. I also feel like he may not consider how some of his advice might work on a livong breathing woman coming from an average looking and not so neat or respectable appearing man.
It's like getting money advice from a rich person. At a certain point you have to accept that certain people are working with better resources.
Some of his examples/advice came off as threatening to me, a woman. As a man, I don't think King thought about how some of his advice might come off to women, and what exactly he was telling men to do and say to female conversation partners.
I'm okay with the fact that this book wasn't what I wanted. I picked It up because I wanted to know more about the inner workings of humor in conversation and I wanted tips on how to get my own natural humor to shine through. I wanted more presence in my micro interactions, and this book felt more like pick up artist tips. Whatever, that's okay.
But my problem with his book is that there are a lot of people who do struggle with social interactions due to neurodivergence, circumstance, anxiety, and trauma. An accessible book breaking down the inner workings of chit chat could be really helpful for some people, but this book ain't it. The examples are lame, based entirely on the author's personal experience, and lead readers down a path to being inauthentic and inappropriate.
Do not buy this book and for the love of all things good in this world do not hire this man to consult you. Unless you want goofy uncle vibes, then knock yourself out (but don't talk to me!)
Fantastic
Loved this. Really broke it down and gave examples ! I honestly think this is wonderful and I learned a lot!
Loved this. Really broke it down and gave examples ! I honestly think this is wonderful and I learned a lot!
Fantastic
Loved this. Really broke it down and gave examples ! I honestly think this is wonderful and I learned a lot!
Loved this. Really broke it down and gave examples ! I honestly think this is wonderful and I learned a lot!
More of how to initiate and maintain a conversation. Picked up one or two hints that'll be instrumental in the future.
slow-paced