Reviews with content warning for Gaslighting - The Heart Principle

Reviews tagging 'Gaslighting'

The Heart Principle by Helen Hoang

154 reviews

bananauyu23's review against another edition

Go to review page

emotional hopeful reflective sad fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

Content Warnings

moonlitreading_'s review against another edition

Go to review page

dark emotional hopeful sad tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

This book was heavier to read than the first two books in the trilogy but that didn't stop me from loving it. I felt my heart clench many times because there were certain moments or lines that hit a bit too close to home. For anyone who hasn't read this yet but plans to please check the trigger warnings before going in.

Also, Quan is the absolute love of my life

Content Warnings

nnguyen73's review against another edition

Go to review page

challenging dark emotional inspiring reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

Content Warnings

kshertz's review against another edition

Go to review page

emotional lighthearted medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

It’s pretty lighthearted but this author likes to keep it real. This author always has characters on the spectrum. The sex scenes are too real. It takes a long time for these characters to have the perfect sex together and that was hard for me because I’d rather have fantasy sex in my books but I can appreciate keeping it real! I love that they end up having to communicate a ton because of the autism spectrum diagnosis for her. I love that she learns who she is and how to stand up for herself. I related too hard to the big sister who is kind of a villain in this so I guess I need a lot more therapy ? Call me out why don’t you this author. Anywho, it’s a great book with good themes. The hardest is there is a lot of caretaking and survivor guilt but overall I think it’s a great book and I’d recommend for anyone who loves romance and wants more realistic romance in their life.

Content Warnings

maira_h's review against another edition

Go to review page

challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Oh wow, I was not expecting this book to be dealing with heavier themes than the first 2 books in the series. I'm not even sure I'm in the right mental headspace to be reading this because I'm also experiencing burnout but it's because of my job. While Anna's burnout is different from mine, I absolutely resonate with her when she struggled to make her family and those around her understand what she was going through. It felt incredible yet scary how much I could relate to Anna, to the point I was quite emotionally exhausted. That was probably unhealthy of me but, oh well.

The ending felt quite rushed, similar to The Bride Test. I wished we got more of Quan after seeing him as a constant character in the first two books in the series. Quan in The Heart Principle was literally perfect. Too perfect to the point I questioned does a guy like him exist in this world?

Content Warnings

daaz28's review against another edition

Go to review page

challenging emotional reflective sad tense slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

My choice to read this story again was because it was just so memorable to me. I could write an essay about this story honestly. Yet, it's important to understand that this book, while excellent, is profoundly sad. It really delves deep into various aspects of Anna's life, from her autism diagnosis to childhood trauma, caregiver burnout, abusive family dynamics, and even moments of suicidal ideation. It's a challenging and emotionally heavy read, but it's a testament to Helen Hoang’s courage in sharing her personal experiences, as evident in her touching author's note 💙

“The only good thing this broken heart of mine can feel is love for you”

Anna and Quan's love story is, without a doubt, a standout in the series. Their connection was so refreshingly unexpected, and the gradual build-up of tension between them was so good 😍. But what resonated with me most was the vulnerability between. It's evident that Helen deliberately incorporated imperfections into the narrative around the beginning stages of their story, allowing Anna to shed her usual mask and reveal her genuine, authentic self to Quan as they were getting to know each other and it was done beautifully. Their connection is very sincere and real.

Characters
Anna is an unforgettable character to me. She was so painfully relatable, down to her love for the violin. She taught me a few things whilst reading. These are just a few.

Anna's story brought to light the dissonance she faced, feeling safe at home while battling intense loneliness within its confines. It felt strangely familiar. Especially when we see very quickly that this sense of 'safety' is deceptive, because all it does is stunt personal growth, ruin social skills, and perpetuate feelings of isolation.

Most of us want to have people in our lives that truly know us to our core. Yet, Anna's journey taught me that distancing yourself from anything slightly outside of your comfort zone stops this connection from being formed. Anna's chronic people-pleasing, did not help in this area either. It’s an insidious habit that results in having to constantly change your behaviour to appease others, leading to a loss of self-identity.

It's impossible to fault Anna for her circumstances. However, throughout my reading, I found myself wondering why she continued to endure such a difficult situation. Growing up in an environment of abuse and manipulation leaves lasting wounds that make you feel like your life is not your own. But the beautiful truth about life is that it's yours to shape, irrespective of your past or familial ties. You have the freedom to make choices, especially when you're financially independent and no longer reliant on your parents for survival.

"I took a beautiful, innocent thing, and I murdered it. Because I couldn't bring myself to say no."

While my connection with Anna's character was undeniable, her story seriously made me feel drained. Her struggles often led to irrational thoughts that took a toll on her as an individual and her relationship with Quan. Yet, despite these challenges, Helen's portrayal of Anna's pain is masterful, allowing readers to step into her shoes and experience the full depth of her emotions.

As for Quan, a perfect man me thinks 🤭. No really, he is honestly so genuinely sweet and kind. His role as a patient partner, most likely influenced by his experience having a younger brother with autism, adds so much depth to the story. It was heartwarming to see his patience and understanding in his relationship with Anna.

However, there are a few reasons why I can’t give this book a 5-star and it’s due to some aspects of Quan's character. Quan, who has battled testicular cancer, now approaches sex with a sense of seriousness and vulnerability. He needed someone to reassure him that he hadn't lost his touch and was still a capable lover in a way.

I would’ve liked to see more scenes where Quan gradually worked through his fear of intimacy with Anna. Often, it felt like he was the one doing the comforting and reassuring, so it would have been nice to witness a more balanced exchange of support between them. Because, unquestionably, Quan deserves that. This concern was more prevalent in the beginning of the story though, and I was happy to see them work through it as the story progressed.

Additionally, it seemed like Quan and their romance as a whole was sidelined, as Anna took on caregiver duties. While Anna's character understandably takes center stage, more insight into Quan's post-surgery life and experiences would have made the story more interesting to me.

Content Warnings

megang519's review against another edition

Go to review page

emotional hopeful informative relaxing medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

Content Warnings

faegyrl_reads's review against another edition

Go to review page

challenging dark emotional hopeful informative inspiring lighthearted reflective sad tense slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

Content Warnings

lethaltea's review against another edition

Go to review page

emotional sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

Emotional damage!

That’s the best way I can describe this book.

Please please please read the TW before you pick this one up. It really caught me off guard.

Content Warnings

sunfalls's review against another edition

Go to review page

dark emotional sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

I liked this book the best out of all three books in this series. Stella didn't feel like a real character in some ways because she changed fundamentally when she met and dated Michael. It has been a while since I read the book, so I can't remember all of the details, but what I do remember is that a good few of her symptoms just up and disappeared with Michael. Both she and Anna have similar personalities, while also being different enough to be two unique characters on different parts of the autistic spectrum. However, Anna seems more like a real character than Stella did. Stella felt like a caricature of a woman with autism because it felt like all of the differences in her brain chemistry just magically poofed with Michael. She didn't like kissing in public, but suddenly she was okay with it because Michael made her and she loved Michael? I feel like I might be getting things incorrect because that feels so out there and weird and not what any person would reasonably do. Anna is a good character because she realizes that she is worthy of being loved exactly as she is, and Quan accommodates that. He helps her through her burnout. She attempts to meet Quan and accommodate him in his needs too. Out of everyone in this series, I like this book the best because both Quan and Anna both feel real and their relationship feels normal. The problems that they faced feel normal. In the first two books, there were outrageous misunderstandings and changes and all sorts of other things that made the couples' stories feel flat and fake and extremely out of the realm of reality.

I think I appreciate the fact that Helen Hoang attempted to write romance books featuring autistic characters because there is a sad stereotype that infantilizes autistic people, even adults, and it's important to have representation that shows that autistic people are adults and fully capable of having love and romance, not babies that need to be cooed over and pitied. However, I feel like the first two books fall woefully flat, despite good intentions. If anything, the first book enforces really harmful stereotypes, where with the "right" man, an autistic woman's symptoms will change, or that her autism is just "quirks" of her personality, like she is just an eccentric choosing to not follow the norm. The second book makes it worse, since autistic men are more often accommodated and diagnosed properly than autistic women are, and the second book reinforces the first book's failings by showing a relationship where an autistic man is accepted and loved as he is. Khai's treatment is a direct antithesis to Stella's treatment, since Esme changes her behavior and interactions with him to accommodate his needs, while Michael seems to make Stella's behaviors change to override her needs. I am not an expert or anything, so all of this might just be an incorrect reading of these books; however, I feel like while the representation was good, there were other lacking things in those first two books.

Now on to the things I enjoyed in this book, entirely separate from how it compares to the first two books in this series: I really liked Anna's journey, not only through her relationship with Quan, but with her relationship with herself as well as with her family. This felt like a very personal thing to read about, but it really resonated with me because of how similar certain elements are to my own experiences. I really admire the way that Anna managed, both with the help of her therapist and her diagnosis and especially Quan, to work on healing herself and breaking herself out of the traps that her family's strict expectations placed on her. I like how real everyone in this book was, as well as how both Anna and Quan had their own separate issues to deal with, and by trusting in each other, they were able to make steps that they hadn't been able to make earlier in their lives. Of course, their relationship and trust with one another wasn't all that it took to get them to make those changes and improve their self love and self confidence, as well as their lives, and that was great to read about too. That both Quan and Anna managed to make changes and process things together and on their own was amazing to read about. It would have been easy for them to become co-dependent on each other, but they didn't. They made progress and changes, together and alone. I can't think of a single reason why I would dislike this book. It might not have been perfect, but life never is. I really like the way this book doesn't treat any of their problems as one and done either; most people don't have one giant crisis in their lives that they fix and then live happily ever after. I like that the ending of this book ended with them making great strides and progress to live in a better manner towards themselves than they had been, but the ending of the book doesn't try creating any delusions towards a happy ever after ending. I appreciate that realness. I also like the ending for Quan and MLA as being more of a beginning, since after the acquisition with LVMH, there would presumably be more work for Quan to do. I like that he got an outcome with the company that would be good for the company and Quan as well, remaining on as CEO. Overall, I liked this book in a lot of ways. Well worth the read, and much much better than the first two.

Content Warnings

More...