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dsullivan's review against another edition
5.0
I think this is a book that every Christian should read. Not everyone will reach the same conclusion at the end of the book, and the author expects that; but if it's read with an open mind, it will definitely make a difference for the better.
A couple of weeks ago, I replied to a tweet about God loving queerness by saying "From what I've read in the Bible, God does not approve of practicing homosexuality." A friend replied "If you are interested in evaluating your beliefs on this, I recommend this book." I fully expected to read a wishy-washy argument that God was okay with gay relationships, based solely on a discounting of biblical authority. Instead, the author surprised me. His goal was to please God, not to twist the Bible or Christianity to his own liking. Everything presented in the book was well researched and well reasoned. He doesn't pretend to know all of the answers, but he definitely enlightened me on many facets of the issue.
I can't recommend this book highly enough.
A couple of weeks ago, I replied to a tweet about God loving queerness by saying "From what I've read in the Bible, God does not approve of practicing homosexuality." A friend replied "If you are interested in evaluating your beliefs on this, I recommend this book." I fully expected to read a wishy-washy argument that God was okay with gay relationships, based solely on a discounting of biblical authority. Instead, the author surprised me. His goal was to please God, not to twist the Bible or Christianity to his own liking. Everything presented in the book was well researched and well reasoned. He doesn't pretend to know all of the answers, but he definitely enlightened me on many facets of the issue.
I can't recommend this book highly enough.
lou_1440's review
informative
reflective
medium-paced
1.0
I do feel I need to thoroughly explain my rating for this book so that it isn’t misinterpreted. This book was written in 2012, and while it is well-intentioned, it still contains significant content that is harmful to full acceptance of the queer community and I could never recommend this book to anyone.
One of Lee’s central recommendations at the end of the book is to stop villainizing the position of queer celibacy. This is a dangerous position to endorse, and one that will give homophobic readers an excuse to latch onto. The celibacy position is a weapon exclusionists wield to justify less-than-unconditional acceptance of queer community members and actively causes harm. The only people entitled to choose celibacy are queer people themselves, and even we queer folk do not have the authority to force celibacy on anyone else. Asking queer people to stay celibate to have a place in the church leads to self-hatred, repression, and unhealthy relationships with sex and our own bodies.
Lee also peppers this book with casual apologist sentiment toward homophobic Christians. He asks queer readers to treat a community that has systematically suppressed them and pushed them aside to have empathy and forgiveness for Christians on all side of the aisle, as long as they are well-intentioned. Oppressed communities do not owe this to their oppressors. The Christian community must do their own internal work and come to the people they’ve hurt when they are ready to earn forgiveness, not the other way around.
Finally, I do find it terribly ironic that Lee holds up Tony and Peggy Campolo as a shining example of how to disagree on this issue, since a few years after publication of this book, Tony would reverse his stance to support his wife’s view. As far as I can tell, Lee has made no effort to issue revisions to this or any of the harmful content in this book.
mrswhiteinthelibrary's review against another edition
5.0
Probably one of the most powerful books out there on a very important, increasingly relevant topic. Part memoir, part plea for sanity, Justin Lee's voice is approachable and conversational, and he tells his story with capability and sensitivity. Lee's story unfolds as does the story of so many countless others: raised devoutly Christian, and a conservative Southern Baptist, no less, he discovers to his own horror that while feelings for girls never developed, he cannot fight his attraction for men.
So begins his journey for understanding: of himself, of Christ, and of how a person like him fits into a culture that routinely pits gays and Christians against each other. Throughout his quest for understanding, he immerses himself in research and Biblical study and brings his reader along to wrestle with his difficult questions, trying to make sense of who and what he is.
And unlike many others, he ultimately finds more solace in faith than ever before. This is not the story of a man giving up God to be true to himself, nor lying about his nature in order to fit into church culture. This is a man seeking, at all costs, to bridge the gap between his sexuality and his faith. His story is gripping and eye opening, shining light on so many misconceptions about homosexuality within the church and espoused by so many who mean very well.
Perhaps the best part about Torn is that Lee does this without at any point trying to jump through hoops or find loopholes to justify himself. At all points he knows Christians mean well, even as he reveals the increasing ways they have been lied to, causing the growing rift between them and the gay community. Rather than seeking to dismantle church tradition, Lee knows the church rhetoric and spouts it to himself as much as anyone else does, trying to unlock how he can live right with God while knowing that no amount of praying is going to turn him straight. His earnestness is palpable in the pages.
The resulting is a deeply personal story that begs for understanding without Lee at any point insisting his own ideas are right, or trying to draw too firm of conclusions. Rather than attempting to reconcile himself with God, he tries to reconcile the church to the gays they are failing. He longs not to be right, but for a dialogue between gays and the church and, ultimately, the understanding that it does not matter what makes someone gay, whether it's inherent or a choice, or whether all gays are called to celibacy or if a committed same-sex relationship in Christ is possible. It only matters, at the end of the day, that God loves the gays- and we should too.
So begins his journey for understanding: of himself, of Christ, and of how a person like him fits into a culture that routinely pits gays and Christians against each other. Throughout his quest for understanding, he immerses himself in research and Biblical study and brings his reader along to wrestle with his difficult questions, trying to make sense of who and what he is.
And unlike many others, he ultimately finds more solace in faith than ever before. This is not the story of a man giving up God to be true to himself, nor lying about his nature in order to fit into church culture. This is a man seeking, at all costs, to bridge the gap between his sexuality and his faith. His story is gripping and eye opening, shining light on so many misconceptions about homosexuality within the church and espoused by so many who mean very well.
Perhaps the best part about Torn is that Lee does this without at any point trying to jump through hoops or find loopholes to justify himself. At all points he knows Christians mean well, even as he reveals the increasing ways they have been lied to, causing the growing rift between them and the gay community. Rather than seeking to dismantle church tradition, Lee knows the church rhetoric and spouts it to himself as much as anyone else does, trying to unlock how he can live right with God while knowing that no amount of praying is going to turn him straight. His earnestness is palpable in the pages.
The resulting is a deeply personal story that begs for understanding without Lee at any point insisting his own ideas are right, or trying to draw too firm of conclusions. Rather than attempting to reconcile himself with God, he tries to reconcile the church to the gays they are failing. He longs not to be right, but for a dialogue between gays and the church and, ultimately, the understanding that it does not matter what makes someone gay, whether it's inherent or a choice, or whether all gays are called to celibacy or if a committed same-sex relationship in Christ is possible. It only matters, at the end of the day, that God loves the gays- and we should too.
macthebrazen's review against another edition
5.0
Whether or not the reader comes to the same theological conclusions as Mr. Lee, this book addresses an issue sorely lacking from the church today. This is done in a poignant and well-thought out way as he brings you along on his journey thus far.
evj36's review against another edition
5.0
Heartbreaking. To every one of my Christian friends, please read this.
sethjames's review
4.0
I was recommended this book by some very loving parents of a gay son who attend my church. Their process, like mine and so many others, to find ways to move past all the back and forth, division and dismissal, is typified and explored in this story. I'm so grateful for people like Justin who are willing to share their story, look at Scripture for all its complexity and beauty, and emerge with a more generous, more grace-filled, more affirmative understanding. As a pastor, I want to be a better ally, a person who speaks up for and affirms the gifts of my LGBTQ friends and family. I want to share a Gospel that does not reduce sexuality and gender to binary categories or oversimplified rules. This is the world so many of us have come from and I do not believe this is God's loving way, nor to I believe it must be our way forward - there is much more for God's people than this.
As I read, I felt drawn to the many stories of college students, young people, and friends I've walked with as they've processed their own sexuality. I thought of their tears, their longing to be heard and seen as children of God. I thought of the times I've blundered it and I thought of the times I think I did alright in serving as their pastor. I hope for their grace and I am humbled to have been one to journey with them in faith and hope and love. And...I continue to feel the sense of God's call to love and serve all people as they discover the beauty of Christ's image, which they bear.
As I read, I felt drawn to the many stories of college students, young people, and friends I've walked with as they've processed their own sexuality. I thought of their tears, their longing to be heard and seen as children of God. I thought of the times I've blundered it and I thought of the times I think I did alright in serving as their pastor. I hope for their grace and I am humbled to have been one to journey with them in faith and hope and love. And...I continue to feel the sense of God's call to love and serve all people as they discover the beauty of Christ's image, which they bear.
bibliobiophile's review against another edition
5.0
I've been meaning to read this book for years but kept getting distracted by other demands. But my dear friend Kylee sent me a link this week and insisted that it would fall weightier after reading the book. http://tonycampolo.org/for-the-record-tony-campolo-releases-a-new-statement/#.VXXfT5NVikp It's encouraging to see people who are thoughtfully wrestling with their theology and who are willing to change their minds in order to pursue what they now see as true. This book is a reminder that one of the greatest powers is in personal story-telling; you can disagree with someone's theology or worldview or choices, but you can't deny someone's story. Stories don't justify a theology or worldview, but they do force you to confront your own. Justin's vulnerability and bravery in sharing his story has already changed (and I believe will continue to change) the dialogue in a much needed way.
eclairemars's review against another edition
4.0
Great read! Read it in a day. Very informative, researched perspective, taking Side A on the matter.
thebookkeepers's review against another edition
5.0
This book follows the emotional journey of a devout Christian youth discovering he is gay. The reader truly feels the emotional tugs as Justin trudges through his own self discovery and how this impacts his relationship with God. He feels authentically torn between what he was always taught to believe and the God he most deeply loves. As a straight Christian who supports monogamous LGBT relationships (aka Side A), I think this book would help other Christians who are exploring the gay vs. Christian debate themselves. So often we get caught up and forget that issues we are discussing are about real people and real experiences. Justin Lee brings that home in a loving and, I feel, unbiased manner. Thanks Justin for sharing your beautiful story. Enjoy.
mjarmel's review against another edition
5.0
I've been meaning to read this book for years but kept getting distracted by other demands. But my dear friend Kylee sent me a link this week and insisted that it would fall weightier after reading the book. http://tonycampolo.org/for-the-record-tony-campolo-releases-a-new-statement/#.VXXfT5NVikp It's encouraging to see people who are thoughtfully wrestling with their theology and who are willing to change their minds in order to pursue what they now see as true. This book is a reminder that one of the greatest powers is in personal story-telling; you can disagree with someone's theology or worldview or choices, but you can't deny someone's story. Stories don't justify a theology or worldview, but they do force you to confront your own. Justin's vulnerability and bravery in sharing his story has already changed (and I believe will continue to change) the dialogue in a much needed way.