Reviews tagging 'Misogyny'

You Exist Too Much by Zaina Arafat

11 reviews

nad_books623's review against another edition

adventurous challenging dark emotional funny reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

I overall I enjoyed the story but I did not like how it was organized and something felt like it was missing from the story.

I do like how the mother daughter relationship was portrayed and the main characters inner turmoil

I kept getting confused because, she didn't tell everything in order. Especially, with the people she had relationships with or that she was obsessing over was not in order in how they were brought up, which confused me.

Also, I did not like how before, during, and after treatment had different types of pacing. During her treatment it seemed to flow, but after it seemed a little choppy because, of how the flow was before. At least in my brain it would make sense if the after was a part 2 or if the Midwest portion was written in a different flow. On the flip side the erratic writing style (at least in my brain) could also make sense to how overall the main character was all over her place.

This is the first time I thought this, but I think the title of this novel perfectly capitulates the entire story and the main character as a person.

Throughout the entire novel the main character struggles mainly with the relationship with her mother. She never felt like she was enough and tried to seek what was empty inside her with other people. It was an endless cycle that was hard for her to disrupt and had to consciously stop herself. Something I did notice is that Karim was not mentioned much and there was no explanation about why. For example, her father wasn't mentioned much, but it made sense with how their relationship was described. I did like how there was like a chapter within a chapter towards the end of each chapter. 

As someone who is bisexual I did like how the character's bisexuality was written and how biphobia was mentioned without it being too subtle. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Biphobia, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Racism, Abandonment, Addiction, Toxic relationship, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Child abuse, Mental illness, and Sexual content

Moderate: Xenophobia and Physical abuse

Minor: War, Religious bigotry, Classism, Death, and Misogyny

bashsbooks's review against another edition

emotional funny reflective medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

Enjoyed this book well enough. It was a nice exploration of the difference between love and obsession, the dysfunction between mother and daughter strewn across cultures, and those cultures that the daughter feels stretched between. 

I found the characters to be complex and well-fleshed, suited for the concepts they were exploring. I thought that who got names and who didn't was compelling and thought-provoking detail. 

That said, I think that it was somewhat lacking in balance in the scenes in which it spent lots of time with versus the times and places it skipped through. And I felt like the thread of the Ledge and the mental health aspect fell out of the plot a bit awkwardly. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Emotional abuse, Bullying, Misogyny, and Toxic relationship

Moderate: Biphobia, Sexual content, Racism, Alcohol, Lesbophobia, Xenophobia, and Colonisation

Minor: Drug abuse and Drug use

radiant_radish's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.75

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Islamophobia, Eating disorder, Sexism, Rape, Toxic relationship, Racism, Biphobia, Body shaming, Misogyny, Outing, and Homophobia

readingwithkaitlyn's review against another edition

emotional reflective fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Homophobia, Infidelity, Lesbophobia, Toxic relationship, Mental illness, and Child abuse

Moderate: Racism, Gaslighting, Physical abuse, Outing, Abandonment, Misogyny, Eating disorder, Sexual content, Domestic abuse, Addiction, and Grief

Minor: Pregnancy, Body shaming, Alcohol, Colonisation, Genocide, Drug abuse, Drug use, Injury/Injury detail, Death, Pedophilia, Adult/minor relationship, Sexual assault, Blood, Classism, Xenophobia, War, Religious bigotry, and Police brutality

DUI.

lexkoi's review against another edition

emotional reflective medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Toxic relationship, Eating disorder, Infidelity, and Sexual content

Moderate: Addiction, Biphobia, Outing, Mental illness, and Emotional abuse

Minor: Suicide, Misogyny, Death, War, Pregnancy, Lesbophobia, Drug abuse, Cursing, Alcohol, Domestic abuse, Colonisation, Abandonment, and Xenophobia

202claire's review against another edition

emotional reflective sad fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Abandonment, Addiction, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Child abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Infidelity, Mental illness, Toxic relationship, Toxic friendship, and Sexual content

Moderate: Biphobia, Colonisation, Homophobia, Islamophobia, Lesbophobia, Misogyny, Outing, and Religious bigotry

kierscrivener's review against another edition

challenging emotional medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.25

I am not completely sure how I feel about it. I expected something vastly different. The title and the synopsis really focuses on her relationship with her mother, heritage and sexuality. And it was. It did advertise vignettes, but I guess it was told a little too progressively to be snippets and too scattered to feel progression.

We follow a twenties something bi Palestinian woman as she navigates a breakup and her constant need to go for the unattainable and to cheat out of fear. We see beautiful and poignant moments throughout but there's something missing. And it might be what I came in looking and didn't see. But we see her acting out and reacting because of fears and insecurity, and her realization of her own mother's trauma but I never feel like she ever fully lowers her guards, and the end has some poignancy but not enough to feel resolved or as if this is a stepping off point.

I love quiet stories but I like when we explore things and she never quite had enough introspection or conversation to fully invest me.

I enjoyed my way throughout and would definitely give Arafat another book 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Homophobia, Xenophobia, Toxic relationship, Sexual content, Racism, Misogyny, Islamophobia, Infidelity, and Biphobia

Moderate: Eating disorder, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Addiction, Domestic abuse, and Emotional abuse

Minor: Rape, Sexual assault, Suicide, and Suicidal thoughts

solenodon's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional funny reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Infidelity, Mental illness, Sexual content, and Toxic relationship

Moderate: Addiction, Biphobia, Eating disorder, Grief, Homophobia, Racism, Xenophobia, Fatphobia, Adult/minor relationship, Body shaming, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Pregnancy, Self harm, and Suicidal thoughts

Minor: Domestic abuse, Islamophobia, and Cursing

now_booking's review against another edition

emotional reflective sad fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

It’s not hard to synthesize my feelings about this book into a review, it’s just hard to determine whether my feelings fall into feeling more positively or negatively about it. This wasn’t exactly what I expected. The premise is that the unnamed queer protagonist is a somewhat closeted Palestinian-American student who’s managed to live a lot of life and study and travel the world. Yet despite all she has going for her, she is desperate to find the love she and acceptance she craves from her mother, leading her to a lot of toxic habits and addictions, including a love addiction.

I haven’t read a lot of queer literature, but certainly none featuring an Arab, Muslim bisexual woman as the protagonist. Knowing that the author has experience with these intersections, I knew it would be non-cliché and sensitively and authentically handled. But then this wasn’t the predictable book one would expect about conflicts between sexuality and culture and religion. Indeed, this reads as a very secular book, there is a lot of Arab (and more specifically) Palestinian culture and history in this book, yes, but none of that is the main conflict with the unnamed protagonist’s reconciliation of her sexual identity. Nope. This is a book about love and the sometimes toxic and fraught relationship between mothers and daughters, and the generational impacts it can have. It’s a book about mental illness and addiction, about numbing brokenness, about reconciling with the things in you. It’s a book about sex and it’s a book with a lot of sex in it, but it’s not a sexy book. Sex in this book often feels like another manifestation of brokenness of looking for love in toxic places. The protagonist doesn’t “exist too much” so much as she’s conditioned by her upbringing to seek out the most toxic outcomes for herself. She is both a sympathetic and an unsympathetic protagonist. Her mother is toxic, but so is she. I had never heard of a love addiction before reading this book. I think it should be approached with the same sort of care for a potential trigger that one would approach any book about addiction. It’s pretty difficult to read some of the situations she gets into and it’s an exposition of how much addiction is an illness that ruins lives.

I think this was well-written. It’s not doing anything with highfalutin turns of phrase or anything extraordinarily fancy with language. There are some beautifully-expressed ideas, but that’s not the focus. Where the language of this book excels is in its simplicity and accessibility. It makes it a fast-paced read that anyone can read and understand without ambiguity. The emotions feel more raw, more visceral, less neat and tidy and perfectly processed because the language is so simple. There is no distance between the reader and the absolute messiness of the protagonist’s life. All of that said, I sort of struggled with the style of this novel. It was very... non-linear. It felt like a series of anecdotes of different timelines kind of loosely woven around the protagonist’s trajectory to healing and reconciling herself with her truth and her identity. I was interested in things like her relationship with her brother. The outcome of her relationships with her cousins. Who was she apart from a bisexual, Palestinian-American? How did she have all that money for travel, school etc? It was a little hard to feel immersed in this because it was only about such a specific segment of her life. There is good character development, but only in the area of her life that has to do with her addiction and with her mother. But maybe that’s the point. Maybe the point is that her life is consumed by this conflict. Maybe the point of flashing in and out of her life in the revelation of the story was to flash in and out off her protagonist’s life the way she did in her own real life. Overall, I think I liked this. Perhaps I’m not passionate about it. But I loved getting into this heroine’s head and learning about her. I’ve seen reviews mention fears that this novel is bad bisexual rep contributing to biphobia. I can’t speak about the truth of that perception, but as a non-bi person, I felt very able to separate the protagonist’s sexuality from her toxic behaviour in relationships. I recommend this if you’re looking for a book about reconciling oneself with one’s sexuality and the internal conflict around that, or a novel about addiction, or one about complex mother-daughter relationship.

TW: this book may be immensely triggering to some readers. I have put the CWs on Storygraph but I’ll summarize to say, if you may be at all sensitive to any sort of triggering content, consider avoiding this one, or fortifying your mental health first.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Child abuse, Drug abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Infidelity, Mental illness, Misogyny, Self harm, Suicide attempt, and Toxic relationship

Moderate: Biphobia, Homophobia, Fatphobia, Islamophobia, Xenophobia, and Adult/minor relationship

Minor: Bullying

redwrapped's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional hopeful reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Infidelity, and Emotional abuse

Moderate: Biphobia, Misogyny, Religious bigotry, and Suicidal thoughts