Reviews tagging 'Abandonment'

You Exist Too Much by Zaina Arafat

13 reviews

nad_books623's review against another edition

adventurous challenging dark emotional funny reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

I overall I enjoyed the story but I did not like how it was organized and something felt like it was missing from the story.

I do like how the mother daughter relationship was portrayed and the main characters inner turmoil

I kept getting confused because, she didn't tell everything in order. Especially, with the people she had relationships with or that she was obsessing over was not in order in how they were brought up, which confused me.

Also, I did not like how before, during, and after treatment had different types of pacing. During her treatment it seemed to flow, but after it seemed a little choppy because, of how the flow was before. At least in my brain it would make sense if the after was a part 2 or if the Midwest portion was written in a different flow. On the flip side the erratic writing style (at least in my brain) could also make sense to how overall the main character was all over her place.

This is the first time I thought this, but I think the title of this novel perfectly capitulates the entire story and the main character as a person.

Throughout the entire novel the main character struggles mainly with the relationship with her mother. She never felt like she was enough and tried to seek what was empty inside her with other people. It was an endless cycle that was hard for her to disrupt and had to consciously stop herself. Something I did notice is that Karim was not mentioned much and there was no explanation about why. For example, her father wasn't mentioned much, but it made sense with how their relationship was described. I did like how there was like a chapter within a chapter towards the end of each chapter. 

As someone who is bisexual I did like how the character's bisexuality was written and how biphobia was mentioned without it being too subtle. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Biphobia, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Racism, Abandonment, Addiction, Toxic relationship, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Child abuse, Mental illness, and Sexual content

Moderate: Xenophobia and Physical abuse

Minor: War, Religious bigotry, Classism, Death, and Misogyny

jujubebbe's review against another edition

emotional reflective medium-paced

• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Abandonment, Addiction, and Eating disorder

storiesfromspencer's review against another edition

challenging emotional hopeful inspiring reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

I just finished this with the mindset of I can make good choices for my own sake not the praise of mothers or lack of. I loved the ending more than even when I had finished ex 'In The Dream House' it gave me the hope that life can be as good as you allow it to be. As a former MFA (now post-grad) student I think being in the MFA program does showcase a lot of scars but a lot of growth.

I loved the mix of memory and self and present and desire.

a book any lesbian of color struggling to form words should read.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Infidelity and Gaslighting

Moderate: Abandonment

fkshg8465's review against another edition

emotional slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

1.5

I had high expectations of this book. I wish I hadn’t, because then maybe I would’ve liked this book moss than I did. Terrible characters!

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Gaslighting, Toxic relationship, Infidelity, Lesbophobia, Sexism, Drug use, Homophobia, Addiction, Biphobia, Abandonment, Alcohol, and Sexual content

dangselena's review against another edition

dark reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

The timeline jumped around so much with little context so it was a bit hard to read. Side characters weren’t fleshed out enough to feel meaningful. The MC isn’t like able, which is fine, but there wasn’t much of a plot besides her being horrible to other people. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Infidelity, Drug abuse, Eating disorder, Biphobia, Islamophobia, Toxic relationship, Mental illness, Alcohol, Abandonment, Gaslighting, Emotional abuse, Addiction, Alcoholism, Suicidal thoughts, Physical abuse, Homophobia, and Drug use

jourdanicus's review against another edition

emotional reflective medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

I didn't expect this book to speak to my mommy issues so much buuuut... That's what resonated with me most from it.

As a white gal who grew up with a toxic mother, it has always interested me how women from other cultures (especially those where filial loyalty/community are more prioritized) approach relationships with their narcissistic mothers. I feel this novel gave me some insight into that, and fit into my current interest in reading from the Palestinian diaspora.

The characters here are deeply humanized; not always likeable or agreeable, but that gives them even more depth. Toward the end (80-90% in the audio) I found myself wondering where the story was going, but I think part of the point of a book like this is that it doesn't have to "go" anywhere. Life doesn't tie up in a neat bow and roll the credits, relationships are complicated and don't always come with tidy ends or easy answers, and Arafat illustrated that well with this book's direction and conclusion.

I think I'll be thinking about this one for a while.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexual content, Toxic relationship, and Infidelity

Moderate: Alcohol, Abandonment, Colonisation, Addiction, Biphobia, Homophobia, Eating disorder, and Emotional abuse

Minor: Death, Pregnancy, Police brutality, and Drug abuse

readingwithkaitlyn's review against another edition

emotional reflective fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Homophobia, Infidelity, Lesbophobia, Toxic relationship, Mental illness, and Child abuse

Moderate: Racism, Gaslighting, Physical abuse, Outing, Abandonment, Misogyny, Eating disorder, Sexual content, Domestic abuse, Addiction, and Grief

Minor: Pregnancy, Body shaming, Alcohol, Colonisation, Genocide, Drug abuse, Drug use, Injury/Injury detail, Death, Pedophilia, Adult/minor relationship, Sexual assault, Blood, Classism, Xenophobia, War, Religious bigotry, and Police brutality

DUI.

skudiklier's review against another edition

challenging emotional reflective tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

I was really engaged with this--after I got through the beginning bits and got properly into the story, I read almost the whole thing in a day. I found the protagonist relatable in a messy she-needs-help kind of way, and some of her struggles with things like abandonment and generational trauma were hard to read, but in a good way. I like the way the timeline jumps around and you don't find out things in chronological order, and I also like how the book addresses why the narrator's mom is the way she is, without excusing the way she treats the narrator. I'd recommend this book but I'd also definitely say to look at the content warnings first, since this book can get pretty heavy at times.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexism, Toxic relationship, Cursing, Adult/minor relationship, Alcohol, Abandonment, Homophobia, Addiction, Eating disorder, Infidelity, and Emotional abuse

Moderate: Suicidal thoughts, War, Drug abuse, Racism, Outing, Self harm, Sexual content, Death, and Pedophilia

Minor: Alcoholism, Sexual assault, Blood, Suicide, and Pregnancy

lexkoi's review against another edition

emotional reflective medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Toxic relationship, Eating disorder, Infidelity, and Sexual content

Moderate: Addiction, Biphobia, Outing, Mental illness, and Emotional abuse

Minor: Suicide, Misogyny, Death, War, Pregnancy, Lesbophobia, Drug abuse, Cursing, Alcohol, Domestic abuse, Colonisation, Abandonment, and Xenophobia

erinalt90's review against another edition

challenging medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.75

I really had high hopes for this book. It had a great start and moved fast. around 40% it started to get slow and by 60% not only was it boring but it was a completely different book. I think Arafat is a great writer but she seems more like a short story/anthology writer. 
The ending is disappointing and the book overall is just - sporadic? I don't know. It doesn't work in my opinion. 
I never read reviews for books before/during. But all the reviews who also gave it around 2-3.5 stars I agree with completely. 
There were also tiny conflicting details/inconsistencies in the set up/characters. At one point someone is referred to as a "classmate" and three sentences later - while talking about the same character- they are referred to as "coworker." They are small little details but there are enough of them that they start to add up. 
TW: potential child abuse
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There was also an entire section with another character and pregnancy/child fetish played a role and it was just- weird. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Abandonment, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Biphobia, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Classism, Colonisation, Cultural appropriation, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, and Gaslighting