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sloan_emmi92's review against another edition
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
Wow. This book was one of the most heartbreaking stories I’ve ever read. The way everything was portrayed made me feel like I understood perfectly, and the issues discussed and represented were put into perspective. I loved this story, and it’s so so sad but makes you reflect on life. This is so lighthearted read- that’s for sure. It would’ve been a 4 star, but just wasn’t QUITE there but such a great story. (I come back to the review and change someday- I haven’t decided yet:))
Content Warnings
Graphic: Grief, Abandonment, and Child death
Moderate: Racism, Suicide, Mental illness, Toxic relationship, Racial slurs, Medical content, Death of parent, and Panic attacks/disorders
Minor: Alcohol and Alcoholism
mmandan's review against another edition
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
Celeste Ng really understands human emotions and is able to share the complexities of what it is to be human, what it is to be different, and what it is to be loved (often not the way you want to be) beautifully, elegantly, and yes I cried, you might too.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicide
Minor: Panic attacks/disorders
borrowmybookjacket's review against another edition
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
It's a great book, but Ng tells very human stories and that can weigh on you as you read sometimes. There are good resolutions ultimately, not much is left hanging except for I guess the potential of a relationship. It's a book that you can feel the hurt coming from, but you actually feel satisfied with it in the end. Not happy. Satisfied.
<spoilers>
I found it so easy to relate to everyone here. Not as much the father may be as much of his struggle was racial and let's be real, I'm a squishy white woman, but my parents have a strained dynamic, I have these kind of relationships at varying times with my mother, my father, and my siblings. I am the youngest, tip-toeing around and listening to what was happening in the house. Can't be noticed, won't be noticed. I am the ignored brother with unrealistic goals even though I was clearly working well toward them without people seeing. I am Lydia, struggling under pressure to be Good and Correct and Doing What Is Expected. My parents didn't know I didn't have friends like that and I clung to moments of attention. I think many folks have.
<spoilers>
I found it so easy to relate to everyone here. Not as much the father may be as much of his struggle was racial and let's be real, I'm a squishy white woman, but my parents have a strained dynamic, I have these kind of relationships at varying times with my mother, my father, and my siblings. I am the youngest, tip-toeing around and listening to what was happening in the house. Can't be noticed, won't be noticed. I am the ignored brother with unrealistic goals even though I was clearly working well toward them without people seeing. I am Lydia, struggling under pressure to be Good and Correct and Doing What Is Expected. My parents didn't know I didn't have friends like that and I clung to moments of attention. I think many folks have.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Sexism, Toxic relationship, Abandonment, Panic attacks/disorders, Racism, Physical abuse, Violence, Suicide, Bullying, Child abuse, Child death, Cursing, Death of parent, Emotional abuse, Racial slurs, and Infidelity
Minor: Murder, Vomit, Alcohol, and Blood
ktdakotareads's review against another edition
dark
emotional
mysterious
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Grief, and Child death
Moderate: Toxic relationship, Panic attacks/disorders, Death of parent, and Infidelity
Minor: Racial slurs and Racism
ramiel's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.5
My feelings are very conflicted.
The family pictured in the story, the main characters, have a very poor relationship where wants and needs are suppressed until they explode, and miscommunication is near constant. This, however, is the point of the story, it's a look into a very dysfunctional family dynamic at the very height of their emotions - when one of their children dies. This leads to the rest of them reflecting on the rest of their history while their present relationship makes them more and more angry and distant. When it comes to "character development", most of the story takes place in the past, and the rest is deeply present - you see more how they came to be in this ugly situation rather than a picture of anyone advancing forward.
My conflicting feelings have to do with the fact that these sorts of plots can make me feel emotionally exhausted, and I don't often care for it, especially in cases where couples cheat and children are neglected or mistreated - though this doesn't mean the story itself was bad, simply hard for me, personally to get through. I would not recommend it to anyone sensitive to these things, as I am.
However, this is the center of the book, it is the central conflict, and it is taken seriously by the author. Each character feels very real, and she doesn't shy away on how the parents' overbearing or neglectful attitudes have hurt their children (though, some of the moments between the parents and the children I feel she may be too forgiving of some of the parents actions, or of actions between the couple themselves). The writing itself is beautiful in places, and I love the way she describes the small moments that seem insignificant but mean so much to the characters, especially the children (who were honestly my favorite characters of the story).
Example below:
The family pictured in the story, the main characters, have a very poor relationship where wants and needs are suppressed until they explode, and miscommunication is near constant. This, however, is the point of the story, it's a look into a very dysfunctional family dynamic at the very height of their emotions - when one of their children dies. This leads to the rest of them reflecting on the rest of their history while their present relationship makes them more and more angry and distant. When it comes to "character development", most of the story takes place in the past, and the rest is deeply present - you see more how they came to be in this ugly situation rather than a picture of anyone advancing forward.
My conflicting feelings have to do with the fact that these sorts of plots can make me feel emotionally exhausted, and I don't often care for it, especially in cases where couples cheat and children are neglected or mistreated - though this doesn't mean the story itself was bad, simply hard for me, personally to get through. I would not recommend it to anyone sensitive to these things, as I am.
However, this is the center of the book, it is the central conflict, and it is taken seriously by the author. Each character feels very real, and she doesn't shy away on how the parents' overbearing or neglectful attitudes have hurt their children (though, some of the moments between the parents and the children I feel she may be too forgiving of some of the parents actions, or of actions between the couple themselves). The writing itself is beautiful in places, and I love the way she describes the small moments that seem insignificant but mean so much to the characters, especially the children (who were honestly my favorite characters of the story).
Example below:
"Years of yearning had made her sensitive, the way a starving dog twitches its nostrils at the faintest smell of food. She could not mistake it. She recognized it at once: love, one-way deep adoration that bounced off and did not bounce back; careful, quiet love that didn't care and went on anyway. It was too familiar to be surprising. Something deep inside of her stretched out and curled around Jack like a shawl, but he didn't notice. His gaze moved away to the far side of the lake, as if nothing had happened. She stretched her leg and touched her bare foot to Jack's, big toe to big toe, and only then did he look down at her."
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Child death, Death, Emotional abuse, Grief, Misogyny, Racial slurs, Racism, Sexism, Suicidal thoughts, and Suicide
Moderate: Death of parent, Panic attacks/disorders, and Violence
Minor: Car accident, Hate crime, and Homophobia
Additional warning for cheating. The story is of a mixed race family in the 70s, the father is Chinese and so there is detailed descriptions of the racism he's faced and still faces, his children are also similarly affected. The mother is a white woman who wanted to be a doctor, and from her background are detailed descriptions of misogyny. Due to their own backgrounds, they try to push their children to accomplish what they'd failed, leading to a great deal of trauma for the three children. For homophobia, there is one character who is gay, and another character threatens to out him during an argument - this is only a few pages near the end, however. There is one minor scene near the end where a character is drinking and driving and gets into an accident.
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