Reviews with content warning for Cancer - It Ends with Us

I love this book so much! It was my first Colleen Hoover book. The story pulled me in by the third chapter and I couldn’t put it down. I read over 230 pages in one night because I just couldn’t stop. I’d say 100% read this book BUT check TRIGGER WARNINGS (very important)

Content Warnings

imlaurenshelton's review against another edition

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challenging emotional reflective sad tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

Let me start out by giving you hope: This book does in fact have a Happily Ever After. Even a "Romance Writers of America approved" HEA. Which is why I am including this review under the "Contemporary Romance" page of this blog. Now, let me get through a few more things before digging into the meat that is this story. The first rule of my review is that you must, and I truly mean this, read the author's note at the end of this novel (and I do mean at the end). Not a tear shed from my eyes throughout my read of this story but the author's note had me blubbering and reaching for my sweatshirt sleeve. This is and probably always will be the most comprehensive review I have written because I don't take the subject matter lightly. I want to recommend this book to readers over the age of 18 cautiously, and even provide a "clean" read how-to for those of you who want to skip the ick. (that will be included at the very end of the review. if you know me IRL you can borrow my copy, which I am diligently scrubbing to be able to lend out.) I NEED to reiterate that I am not in any way recommending this novel to anyone under the age of 18, if you would like another recommendation please contact me. Finally, as you may have gathered from the CW, this book covers extremely disturbing content matter that may just not be right for you and that is okay. You can live your life well without reading this story, please do not attempt to read this book if you think it may decrease the value of your mental and spiritual health. I do think that it can be very cathartic and healing for those who have been, are in, or know those who have been victims and/or survivors of domestic violence and abuse. With all of that being said, my review is going to begin now, so spoilers below!

This book was so easy for me to read, and yet difficult because, as I tell those around me so often, my brain isn't hard-wired like everyone else's. Sometimes I just don't understand how people can't see how terrible the decisions they are making are or why it's so hard for people to do things that are simple and easy for me. I've lived a lot of life in black and white but by the grace of God - I see color, not just the gray. "Why are you sharing this with us?" I can hear you asking, let me explain - because I did not like the love interest, ever.... until the end. Which is backwards, twisted and makes no sense to those who've read the book I'm sure.
I kept seeing red flags with every action this man took, I mean I even wrote down "stalker" in my notes (yes, i took extensive notes, for the first time ever). I began the book with little knowledge of its contents but not enough to have a bias against him, but I still disliked him greatly. There are moments where I asked myself why the supporting characters thought those things were okay, if maybe they were meant to be complicit to the love-bombing and narcissism. That was until I remembered just how charming these individuals could be in real life. I thought surely others had seen this too, but I saw reviews full of readers who fell in love with Ryle alongside Lily, and I just couldn't understand why. So, I sat on the sidelines of this novel, an ever-involved reader, and pleaded with our main character (that was Lily btw) to leave him and I cheered her on when, spoiler alert, she did.
Now let me backtrack here and explain why I sort of liked Ryle at the end of the book. As I told my mom last week, I'm the girl who feels sorry for the serial killer in Criminal Minds (mind you- not all of them) because they experienced trauma and I think if just one person had helped them or been kind to them, maybe their life would have been different. But I also believe every person reaches a re-breaking point before they can heal, the point where they reset (like an orthopedic surgeon resets a bone) their life to heal back into a path where they can truly live and thrive again. For Ryle, unfortunately, this moment came after causing great harm and trauma to someone that I believe he may have actually loved. There is a scene at the end of the book where I knew, if the book continued on, he would have a huge character development arch of growth and healing. In the hospital room, after giving birth to their daughter, Ryle and Lily are sitting in the hospital bed talking. Lily asks him what he would say to his daughter if she came to him one day saying her husband did to her what Ryle did to Lily. He says he would tell their daughter to leave her husband, and they cry. In this moment, that part of me that has empathy for serial killers and is against the death penalty was spoken to, I could see that this character felt real remorse. It doesn't change what he's done and it will never, ever excuse it, and I expect that his life would be different after that day if the book continued on. We don't get a development arch though, well not in detail... we see a glimpse into the future and see hope that Ryle has truly changed.

I was moved for the majority of this book. I found myself mildly irritated by the sex scenes and vulgar language, but thankful that it wasn't overbearingly graphic and I can see why they are important to the storyline. Again, I will be including a how-to Clean Read below for those who wish to read the book without all the icky things.
As for as Lily's character, I loved her because she was a great choice of character, or maybe a better way to convey what I mean is that she was a well-built character. Generational Abuse. Compassionate. Established. Sensible. Intelligent. Successful. She was the perfect build for a character in this situation because she is the person no one expects to go through this situation. Someone who seemingly has their life together is the last person you'd expect to be suffering in silence. Unfortunately our biases and opinions of what an abuse victim or survivor should look like often barricades us from being the extended hand many of them so desperately need. People are quick to judge and blame victims/survivors for staying in their situations with little to no understanding of why they do, and that is why this book is so needed because that perspective shines through here.
I have great respect for the aspect of generational abuse that was included in this novel and that it was the namesake of the book, as "It Ends With Us" stands for the end of the cycle of abuse. I won't drone on about cycles, but generational cycles of all different kinds are the very root of brokenness within families. Healing from your root cycle issue and ending that generational problem is so important. Lily and her first love, Atlas, are both victims of Childhood Abuse, growing up in homes with Domestic Violence. Lily's abuse didn't necessarily reach the extent that Atlas' did but both of them suffered Emotional Abuse and Trauma from a young age. Big spoiler here... This is why I am so delighted that the author brought us, I mean Lily, back to Atlas at the end of the book. Because initially, when I realized "It Ends With Us" meant DV, I thought that would be a phrase shared between Lily & Atlas. (No worries, it is more heartfelt and touching that it was actually shared between Lily & her daughter.) In a way, their relationship also ends cycles of abuse in their families too. A line in this book that really broke my heart was when Lily is writing in her very cool, not-diary, Ellen Journal and states: "I'm a statistic now." Something Lily never thought would happen to her, nay- was adamant would not happen to her, did. She was abused by someone she loved and cared for.
Let's get to the hard part, the abuse. I'm not sure if I am desensitized to the graphic nature of some of what is depicted because of hours of true crime podcasts, but I personally did not feel that the abuse was depicted very graphically. I just wanted to put that note there for anyone who is concerned they may become triggered by reading this book. but I will add it is no easier to read just because its not as detailed. These scenes leave you scared for Lily, and her mom, and Atlas, they are definitely intense. Thankfully there is a bit of a shift in the scene when you can tell something is about to happen, or maybe that was just my own gut warning me. I wasn't shocked when he pushed her, either time, or the way in which he apologized immediately. I wasn't shocked when he attempted to sexually assault her, or bit her, or hit her. I wasn't surprised that all of this took place in less than a year. I was thrown off by the pregnancy, which only made me sad for her because, as my note so delicately put it: "it's just another bargaining chip for him". I could see the path of destruction she was headed down if she had stayed with him. The broken vases, shattered phones, the lack of safety in her flower shop, destroying everything she loved - there's a moment while showing her a balcony, after surprising her with a new apartment, where he mentions room for her to garden and my heart sank because I expected that to be... another bargaining chip. Another thing she loved for him to destroy. Thankfully the author did not go that dark, and I don't think she intended for Ryle's character to ever go there. I think the author truly meant it when she wrote the line, "there's no such thing as bad people, we're all just people who sometimes do bad things." I'm still wrestling with that one. Overall, the abuse was just the right amount of terrifying to convey the gravity of the situation without getting to graphic or overbearing.

I want to end with the supporting characters because they had me all types of conflicted. First of all, Rylee and Emerson are little angels. (Except I can't forgive the name Rylee, it made me sick to read that paragraph.) Babies aside, I'm not really happy with everyone else, meh except Atlas - he's an angel too. Scratch that, I'm having a flashback to the scene where he decides to confront Ryle about abusing Lily and they fight. For a character who knows how abusers are - that was very dumb. You do not give a person who abuses another "reason" to abuse, and in doing what he did, Atlas kind of put Lily in danger here. However, the blame of abuse always lies on the abuser, so I'd still consider Atlas the best supporting character in the novel. Also, his teen homelessness background really gave me a soft spot for him and gave me a mental note to look into local program to support kids struggling with the same issue. Not far behind is Lily's mom, who suffered DV at the hands of her husband, Lily's father. Never for a moment did I not love this woman. Her telling her daughter "I want to be you when I grow up" would have been cute under a different circumstance. It was so incredibly sweet and raw when she opened up to Lily about her survival at the end of the book and Lily said, "Mom? I want to be you when I grow up". Lily had so much resentment against her but once she was in the same shoes, she understood and I think that helps readers understand. Allysa is a conundrum. On one hand, I love her and I want to be HER when I grow up (no really). On the other, a lot of her decisions were problematic and for a while it felt like she was an aide in sweeping abuse under the rug. I think this can be explained away in a single scene where Lily tells Issa everything and her reaction is "if you take him back, I'll never talk to you again." This is when I understood that she didn't have a real grasp of what was happening between her brother and Lily. I think it would have been interesting to see how family of abusers handle their issues - how do you love someone when you know how badly they have hurt others? I'll end with Marshall because he's my least favorite and frankly serves as a pitiful comedic break - he sucks. My decision boils down to one scene in the book, chapter 30, where Ryle has come home early to talk to Lily (and consequentially finds out she is pregnant) with Marshall in tow so Lily would feel more comfortable. His assignment is to intervene if Ryle loses control of his emotions because Lily states he has "no control over his emotions" - which is a whole other discussion for another day. Ryle says to Marshall, "If you hear me get... If I start to yell..." and the next line says "Marshall knows what Ryle is asking him," and I just had to put the book down because I was so mad. "Why is he still his friend? I know Ryle is his brother in law, but if he knows how mad Ryle can get, what he's capable of, why would he still associate with him to the degree he would name his daughter after that man? Why?" And so, my dislike of Marshall was solidified and it cannot be unbroken. It seemed like everyone around Ryle made excuses for everything that seemed off about him, and I'm sure in real life application this is accurate because a lot of abusers are charming. It was very frustrating to read through those big red flags waving in front of everybody's faces and watch them blatantly dismiss it. (It's just a book, Lauren, just a book.)

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Overall, this book definitely belongs in the Romance category. It's a love story, not the typical one that most of us get to experience - but the dark, traumatic one that many go through. Stories like these deserve to be told and I am excited and hopeful that the rumor of this book becoming a movie is true (from Justin Baldoni no less, *SWOON*). Hopefully the film includes less cursing and sex, or at least less graphic, but the awareness that this book brings to DV should be much more amplified through film. I highly recommend for a final time that everyone should read the author's note on this book, it was incredibly touching and i ugly cried while doing so myself. This is a book you will not regret reading.

Content Warnings

molly_rose's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

Content Warnings

camillej's review against another edition

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dark emotional tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

Content Warnings

kayteacup's review against another edition

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dark emotional hopeful sad tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? N/A
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

I hated this book! HATE! I spent the first 100 pages wondering why it was talked about so much. I judged people for liking her love interest right off the bat because I found him to be such a walking red flag. He had me until page 20, and he never recovered. I barely had a chance to know Lily before her entertaining this guy tainted my opinion of her. For that reason, the first 100 pages were hard for me to get through. Thankfully there was Atlas.

The following 100 pages I read out of spite. I needed to finish this book, so I could have all my facts before I challenge someone on why they liked it. When I was in college, I had a creative writing teacher once say that even hating something is a sign of good creative work. She said, you know what’s worse than hating something, feeling nothing about a piece. I didn’t feel nothing. It’s that reasoning that kept me going. Colleen is a wonderful writer. I know you’ve heard that before, no doubt, but this was my first crack at her work, so this had to be learned. Since I found myself unable to attach myself to Lily, I found my attachments in the little Macguffin’s that were placed throughout the book (Boston, rooftops, Ellen, magnets, a tattoo, etc.)

For the remainder of the book, though I was gutted multiple times, everything surely came together. Finally, I began rooting for Lily and coming to terms with the fact that not everything is black & white. I cried more than I laughed. But I closed the book so in aw. Colleen did so very right by her mother and the many women that can relate to Lily.

I hope the forthcoming movie does this book justice. I can’t believe I’m rating a book I hated 4.5 stars.

Content Warnings

arthur_ant18's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional hopeful medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

Content Warnings

allforevermore's review against another edition

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challenging emotional hopeful inspiring reflective relaxing sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

Content Warnings

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