Reviews tagging 'Incest'

Gender Queer: A Memoir by Maia Kobabe

10 reviews

rockythefreak's review against another edition

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challenging emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective tense slow-paced

5.0

I fell in love with the work. It made me feel like I got a deeper understanding of things my partner talks about, being nonbinary and asexual, using words that I feel like she struggles to find at times. It helped me find some words for my own feelings and experiences too. I am so grateful to this work and it's author.

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willardpilled's review

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informative inspiring lighthearted reflective fast-paced

3.5

good book. really saw myself in the author as a fellow afab trans person. but seriously? the wincest mention? the fuck man lmao

also, honestly cannot remember if there's any graphic transphobia in this book since I read it in one sitting in a Barnes and Noble, but I'm putting a warning for it anyway just in case.

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overlap's review

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emotional informative fast-paced

2.5

I really wanted more from this book. Like other readers, I felt like it didn’t have a strong conclusion, and that it didn’t really extend the author’s experience beyond emself into a broader understanding of queerness and transness. 
I also agree with other reviews saying that the inclusion of Tumblr culture weakens the book. Besides the short cultural relevancy of such things, I do not really need to know about the fact that you shipped two brothers with each other in a TV show, or that you wrote 1D fanfiction in college. Both of those inclusions left a bad taste in my mouth, especially the part where e “researched” for fanfiction by finding someone to make out with on a dating app. You can disagree with that, and maybe I just don’t know enough about dating life, but making out with someone as “research” felt odd to me. Do I think a memoir needs to portray the author in the best light? No! I think there’s merit to being real. But I do think when those inclusions are not super…necessary? Then it does muddle the message a bit. Additionally, the constant Harry Potter references felt odd especially considering (gestures vaguely). 
I think it’s hard to draw the line between truthful memoir and a book that helps others discover themselves and see themselves. Personally, I think some clearer reflection or a stronger message or thesis would have helped this book a lot, other than just “this is me.” For example, with eir aunt’s concerns about transness and misogyny—why Not break those down for the reader?? 
I really wanted to like this memoir, but it felt not quite finished or concluded enough for my tastes. I enjoyed the art style and the real depiction of the author’s experience, but there were just too many missteps to overlook, and it feels very stuck in a certain time period. 

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nannahnannah's review against another edition

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challenging emotional informative medium-paced

2.25

It seems I am definitely in the minority here, but even though I share a massive amount of experiences with the author, I found the memoir—and Maia Kobabe eirself—difficult to relate to. The purpose of memoirs aren't necessarily to be relatable, though, so that I find very easy to forgive. But the back of the book says that it also doubles as a guide, which is a lot more frustrating, because a surprising amount of the information is at best outdated and at worst pretty harmful.

I admit, if I had read this maybe 5 to 8 years ago, I might have a slightly different opinion. There would be things I would find a lot easier to ignore, or there would be things I wouldn't catch. Reading it now when I'm at an age (or at least a time in my life) when I'm looking at things a little more critically, I find that this reads a little too shallowly. Topics would be introduced only for a scene to end or for the author to present them without looking at any of eir past actions critically, either. I'm not saying that this graphic novel isn't important, because it has already saved lives and I'm sure it will save hundreds more, I'm just saying I wish it was a little more polished, perhaps.

For example, the several Harry Potter references seem pretty inappropriate, given the subject matter. The choice of "ships" included also seem alienating in a way I don't think e meant them to be (a.k.a. incestual ships and ones of minors—real-life minors, too—when e was in grad school). One thing that also bothered me while reading was Kobabe's failure to examine eir privilege, or acknowledge the struggle of other trans or non-binary people. Again, the word that comes to mind is "alienating", rather than relatable.

I do have several things that I feel strongly about, though, that I wish Kobabe had thought through more before publishing. Eir sections on eir two pap smears, although the images were very strong and poignant, have the possibility to do more harm than good if this really is intended to be a guide as well as a memoir. First of all, it could make teens and young adults more nervous for the test than they might have been, making it more painful, or it could frighten them away from getting the test at all. Secondly, that much pain—and especially blood on the speculum—usually means that there's something going on. I had the same type of reaction (without dysphoria to that degree), because I have something called vaginismus, involuntary and painful muscle spasms that happened whenever anything is inserted into the vagina. It seems very, very strange that none of the doctors suggested this to em, but if they had, I'm going to hope that ey would have included a note somewhere in the memoir about it. It would be irresponsible otherwise.

One of the other things I also wish that Kobabe had looked at more closely or perhaps researched a bit before publishing this was the inclusion of the term "autoandrophilia", which according to the author, means, "a person assigned female at birth who is sexually aroused at the thought or image of having male genitalia or being a man." This is a term coined by American-Canadian psychologist Ray Blanchard, who, according to the website linked (Transgender Map), rejected 90% of people seeking healthcare, created several obscure diseases to categorize trans people (including autoandrophilia), and has now become "a key figure in the gender critical movement of anti-transgender activists." Including this without comment is what bothered me the most. Some people do like to use these "disease models" to help others—a.k.a. cis people—understand us a little better, but again, a comment could have helped so much.

The memoir isn't terrible by a long shot, but unfortunately it wasn't very enjoyable for me personally. The art was lovely, and there were many times where Kobabe's dysphoria really hit home and felt relatable even when eir's nerd culture references didn't. I am glad this book has helped many people, and I hope it continues to do so.

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tanyxscreams's review

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emotional funny hopeful informative inspiring reflective fast-paced

5.0


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cozylifewithabby's review

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3.0

I read this book because it tops the most banned list. I am against banning books, and I don't think this book should be banned. I think that it could be really helpful to teens, young adults, or adults struggling with their identity or people in those persons' lives who want to understand them. There are many triggers in this book though so be aware of those if you are checking it out. I also think it is important to not that this is only one person's journey and people's experiences can be very different. 

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acedragonrider1's review

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inspiring fast-paced

4.75

I'm not non-binary myself but, a lot of what the author experienced or felt as a child was what I felt as well growing up. It was nice hearing of other people's experiences similar to mine.

(Also I included minor trigger warning for incest because there is a moment where people talked about shipping Sam and Dean from Supernatural)

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sappho's review

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2.0

I think there's a lot to love about this and I really like eir work but the sections about Wincest and Larry Stylinson are. They are so challenging!

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bradley's review against another edition

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fast-paced

2.5

I didn't particularly care for this book.

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nyoom's review

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challenging dark reflective sad fast-paced

0.25


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