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4.04 AVERAGE
4.04 AVERAGE
Took entirely too long reading this because I was taking notes and rereading it to my partner to spur on discussions.
Very insightful and a bit disturbing. So glad I am through those years and have no daughters.
finished in the waiting room of a doctor's office where i proceeded to get high fived for being a virgin this late in the game. pretty funny tbh
Ehh...It was fine. Didn't really sway me toward either extreme. Agreed with everything but it didn't really illuminate anything new, definitely a "yep, preaching to the choir!" type deal. I appreciate the book's frank, breezy style and that it reads more like a long blog post than an academic treatise on sexuality. The anecdotes never felt overlong or trite. I also appreciate that Orenstein confronts her own prejudices, hypocrisies and assumptions about teenage sexuality when it comes to her own teenage daughter. She's also really funny! This is solid writing that understands its readers and meets them where they're at.
Since I'm 25, I probably missed the boat on this book being *super* relevant to me but I look forward to giving a copy to my hypothetical teenage daughter or son one day.
Since I'm 25, I probably missed the boat on this book being *super* relevant to me but I look forward to giving a copy to my hypothetical teenage daughter or son one day.
This book is very good and educational not just for women but for men too. Everyone needs to read this to understand what women of this generation are going through and thinking!
I didn't just read Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape by Peggy Orenstein. I sat my cishet ass down and LISTENED.
I feel like I'm not allowed to criticize this book because I am not a girl (I don't really have any criticisms in the first place though. Peggy really did an amazing job here). However, I can say that my eyes were quite opened hearing about the emotional turmoil young women face in this most perverted culture we live in. All I can say is that, and I don't mean to sound like a woke asshole or anything, but, yo, women have it rough.
I feel like I'm not allowed to criticize this book because I am not a girl (I don't really have any criticisms in the first place though. Peggy really did an amazing job here). However, I can say that my eyes were quite opened hearing about the emotional turmoil young women face in this most perverted culture we live in. All I can say is that, and I don't mean to sound like a woke asshole or anything, but, yo, women have it rough.
It took me so long to finish this book because every time I picked it up I felt uncomfortable and wondered if I could put my kid in a high tower and then I'd remember that a former student told me that if a boy wanted to date my daughter he'd find a way to get into the tower. Frightening and truthful.
Although I grew up in the 90s, a decade many are now saying repressed healthy sex under the guise of religious purity, I have always been confident in my choices and the results of those choices. I never had a problem saying no to anything I didn't want to do, I still don't, so to read about girls who literally have that problem shocks me and makes me wonder if I'm teaching my daughter the right ways to be confident and have the ability to say 'no'.
I appreciate that Orenstein addresses all of the issues that come with drinking and sex...even the, pre Brock Turner, what if both parties are incapacitated? Is it still rape? Yes. Is anyone to blame? No. She says that we should be teaching boys to be in better control of their urges and girls to understand that that they don't need to drink to make decisions.
She says that she'll tell her daughter "that it's possible to make mistakes, that not all scenarios are as clear as we would like. That said, if, for whatever reason, she does get wasted...it is positively, in no way, under any circumstances her fault..." And, if she had a son she'd say, "drunk girls are not 'easy pickings'; their poor choices are not your free pass to sex...heavy drinking, in addition to potential long term physical harm, impairs boys' ability to detect or respect non consent..."
She goes on to say that "parents need to discuss the spectrum of pressure, coercion and consent with their sons, the forces urging them to see girls' limits as a challenge to overcome. Boys need to understand how they, too, are harmed by sexualized media and porn. They need to see models of masculine sexuality that are not grounded in aggression against women, in denigration or conquest. They need to know about shared pleasure, mutuality, reciprocity--to transform..."
AMEN.
I think every parent should read this book.
I think every boy and girl should read this book--you decide at what age.
I'll be mulling it over for awhile.
Although I grew up in the 90s, a decade many are now saying repressed healthy sex under the guise of religious purity, I have always been confident in my choices and the results of those choices. I never had a problem saying no to anything I didn't want to do, I still don't, so to read about girls who literally have that problem shocks me and makes me wonder if I'm teaching my daughter the right ways to be confident and have the ability to say 'no'.
I appreciate that Orenstein addresses all of the issues that come with drinking and sex...even the, pre Brock Turner, what if both parties are incapacitated? Is it still rape? Yes. Is anyone to blame? No. She says that we should be teaching boys to be in better control of their urges and girls to understand that that they don't need to drink to make decisions.
She says that she'll tell her daughter "that it's possible to make mistakes, that not all scenarios are as clear as we would like. That said, if, for whatever reason, she does get wasted...it is positively, in no way, under any circumstances her fault..." And, if she had a son she'd say, "drunk girls are not 'easy pickings'; their poor choices are not your free pass to sex...heavy drinking, in addition to potential long term physical harm, impairs boys' ability to detect or respect non consent..."
She goes on to say that "parents need to discuss the spectrum of pressure, coercion and consent with their sons, the forces urging them to see girls' limits as a challenge to overcome. Boys need to understand how they, too, are harmed by sexualized media and porn. They need to see models of masculine sexuality that are not grounded in aggression against women, in denigration or conquest. They need to know about shared pleasure, mutuality, reciprocity--to transform..."
AMEN.
I think every parent should read this book.
I think every boy and girl should read this book--you decide at what age.
I'll be mulling it over for awhile.
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
fast-paced
Overall a great book, I unfortunately read her other book in the series, "Boys & Sex," first, and alot of the information feels the same in both. Hence the 4 stars for this one and 5 stars for the other. I am sure if I read this first it would have gotten the 5.
I can’t boil my thoughts down on this one but the more I think about this book the more disappointed I am