Reviews with content warning for Child death - Hate List

This was an enjoyable read considering the subject matter. I liked the way the author dealt with trauma and how it effected not only the main character but those around her. I’m glad the main focus wasn’t on the tragedy itself but on the aftermath and what kinds of damage it does to people. Considering this was written in 2009 I think the messages and themes still carry on to 2023.

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loverofeels's review against another edition

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dark sad tense

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No

3.0

THE GOOD:
- genuinely interesting premise
-morally complex protagonist
-for the first 60% of the book i thought this was going to be a solid 4 star YA contemporary
-did a pretty good job of depicting troubled familial dynamics until about 75% in, when the writing took a nosedive quality-wise

THE BAD:
-the entire character of Bea was SO over the top when it absolutely didn't need to be. she could have just been nice/a normal level of quirky, but she was ridiculous to the level of implausibility, especially within the framework of this dark, quiet narrative
-speaking of Bea: why did she show up twice then disappear until the final chapter?? it feels like we're supposed to see her as the mentor who helps Valerie find inner calm/an outlet/a purpose in life, like she's set up to be, except that Val uses painting as an outlet exactly twice then has a mental breakdown and never returns to see Bea again, as far as the reader is concerned. except there she is in the final scene, clapping along!
-generally, there's a trend of Brown dropping in potentially interesting plot points and then never following up on them. Valerie using her sketchbook/painting as an outlet is interesting, except it doesn't matter in the end! Troy threatening Valerie with a gun and her gaining the courage to report him to the police is interesting, except that we never find out if Troy or Valerie faced any repercussions for their actions! Valerie becoming friends with a popular girl, sabotaging their friendship as part of a breakdown, and eventually becoming friends again is interesting, except that the scene in which they reunite is unsatisfying because they don't address the horrible things that Valerie said to her friend!
-Brown sacrifices the entire arc of Val's relationship with her father for a "happy" ending. in the beginning, the dad is emotionally and for the most part, physically absent; in the middle, he tells her he will never forgive her for her involvement with the school shooting and has a scene in which he is physically and verbally abusive enough that a stranger asks her if she needs help; in the end, despite the fact that Val and her father have NO scene in which they reconcile all their problems with one another, he sits at her graduation and Val says that "In his eyes I saw hopefulness and knew, with some amount of certainty, that despite what we might have said to one another we would both eventually forgive each other." WHAT??? If there had been a satisfying conclusion in which Val and her dad begin to repair their relationship and he took back his statement that he would literally never forgive her, that would have been great. If nothing had changed between Val and her dad, that honestly would have been even better: this book thrives on complicated relationships, and I would have liked to see some of those relationships being left in that hard, messy place without the other person dying.
-Val's relationship with her brother was one of my favorite parts of the book in the beginning, and it's really unfortunate that the tension in their relationship in the aftermath of the shooting was reduced to one scene where he yells at her before again disappearing from the main narrative.
-why is it dropped into the last 10 pages that Val is planning to run away from home??? i thought the point was that she was becoming less selfish but i'm supposed to see this choice as a good thing that is approved by her therapist???? there is nothing emotionally satisfying about this ending.

THE UGLY:
- there's some blink-and-you-miss-it fatphobia (the way Christy Bruter and the reporter are described) and possibly racism (a comment about some guy possibly getting kidnapped by rebels and murdered in a hut?) that is definitely attributable to this being written in 2009, but still unacceptable and unpleasant to read
-in the first few days/weeks after the shooting, Val has trouble reconciling the Nick she knew (a kind, loving boyfriend) with the Nick the world now knows (a murderer who shot a number of people and committed suicide). this is an understandable reaction. i had hoped that this novel would explore how there can be multiple sides to people we love, and how we can deal with the way those sides conflict with one another. unfortunately, this narrative seemed more concerned with being sympathetic to Nick. Val spends a good deal of this book blaming herself and others for the shooting--so much time, in fact, that she never really gets around to the fact that HER BOYFRIEND SHOT UP A SCHOOL. she acknowledges that it was an objectively terrible and tragic event. she acknowledges that the people who bullied her didn't deserve to die. but she never succeeds in reconciling those two sides of Nick. 83% of the way through the novel, Val talks to one of Nick's victims about how he was "nice" and how there was "good in Nick." she doesn't make any progress past that. it was so, so disappointing that we never got to see that character arc. beyond that, it was kind of revolting: by not having Val truly face up to the kind of person Nick was, it delves far too close to making him a character we're supposed to like and sympathize with. this might be my biggest problem with the book, even though i felt more visceral anger over some of the other things i listed while reading.
-an addendum: in chapter 36, Val visits Nick's grave for the first and only time. afterwards, she tells her parents "Nick's officially out of my life forever. Maybe you can trust me now." okay, great progress on the accepting-that-your-ex-is-a-murderer front... except that in the final chapter, she brings a photo of her and Nick with her when she's running away from home! why! why! WHY!

THE ???
-if this were written more recently, i'd definitely be angry that this book doesn't confront the undeniable connection between school shootings and white supremacy. i don't know if that pattern was established when this was written, so i'm not holding that against the book, but i did want to mention it somewhere in my review since Hate List doesn't bring up race at all (as in, I don't think there are any characters of color and race is generally not a factor).
-i don't know that this is a very good depiction of depression. we're told that she's been (sort of?) suicidal for years and that "Mostly Dr. Hieler was about keeping me from killing myself" but we don't get a strong sense from her thoughts (this book is written in first person!) or actions that she is suicidal. some parts of this representation, like her avoiding people, definitely rang true, but other aspects seem a little lacking in hindsight.
-i'd recommend skipping this one and just reading Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson instead. different subject matter, but very similar reading experience except that Speak is much better written

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