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56 reviews for:
I Have Been Buried Under Years of Dust: A Memoir of Autism and Hope
Valerie Gilpeer, Emily Grodin
3.57 AVERAGE
56 reviews for:
I Have Been Buried Under Years of Dust: A Memoir of Autism and Hope
Valerie Gilpeer, Emily Grodin
3.57 AVERAGE
Pretty interesting; memoir by a mom and her autistic daughter, who as a young adult was finally able to communicate using technology. This constellation of symptoms, deficiencies, abilities and behaviors that we call "autism" is still so opaque. The daughter here is far from high-functioning, so hers is a perspective we don't see often in the literature. If you're interested in this topic, this book is a good addition to your reading.
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
challenging
emotional
reflective
This was hard to put down right from the beginning. Mostly told from the mother’s POV, but I really liked also reading from Emily’s as well. I learned a lot about what it’s like for one family experiencing the spectrum and the different things available to aid them in daily life. I received an ARC from the publisher.
emotional
informative
relaxing
slow-paced
I was conflicted as to my rating of this book.
In terms of the writing itself, it was an engaging and engrossing read. In that sense, I would rate it at five stars, no question - especially when it comes to Emily's portions of the book. They were amazing.
But as engaging as the book was, I have to admit that I found myself highly disliking Valerie. I'm reminded of the way I felt about Michael Schofield in his book "January First". In both cases you're reading a book written by a parent whose narcissism shines through on every page.
Valerie makes it sound as though she was the only one concerned about Emily's well-being, as though Emily didn't also have a father who wanted to do everything he could to help her. I got so very tired of reading about how Valerie had made a decision about Emily that Tom didn't initially support, only to have him tell her later that she was right and he should have listened to her all along.
The way she talked about the behavioural therapists in the beginning of the book drove me crazy too. I understand that every parent thinks their child is brilliant and beautiful and unique, but these therapists aren't there to coddle children - they're there to work with the child.
"We hated the constant collecting of data on Emily. The clinical ways the behaviourists worked with her made me feel as if Emily weren't a beautiful child, our precious daughter, but a horse to be broken."
Look, I don't have children, and as I've said, I understand that all parents think their children are the most special children on earth. But those therapists that Valerie felt so free to disparage weren't there to dote on Emily. They were there to work with her, to try to help her, to help her make as much progress as was possible. And yes, of course they were going to document whatever progress she made. The "data collection" that Valerie dislikes so much? Essential to working with any children (hello, has she never heard of progress reports or report cards?) but, I would imagine, even more crucial when one is working with children with different abilities. She's not the "precious daughter" of these professionals; of course they're not going to treat her that way.
It just seems to me that Valerie had no intention of working or cooperating with anyone whose sole intention wasn't to fawn all over Emily.
I am glad I read this book, and am amazed by Emily's writing. But I wish that I had been able to hear more of her voice - and much less the voice of her insufferable, self-centred mother. I don't know how in the world her husband has managed to stay with her, because honestly, she seemed to take every opportunity she could to disparage him.
In terms of the writing itself, it was an engaging and engrossing read. In that sense, I would rate it at five stars, no question - especially when it comes to Emily's portions of the book. They were amazing.
But as engaging as the book was, I have to admit that I found myself highly disliking Valerie. I'm reminded of the way I felt about Michael Schofield in his book "January First". In both cases you're reading a book written by a parent whose narcissism shines through on every page.
Valerie makes it sound as though she was the only one concerned about Emily's well-being, as though Emily didn't also have a father who wanted to do everything he could to help her. I got so very tired of reading about how Valerie had made a decision about Emily that Tom didn't initially support, only to have him tell her later that she was right and he should have listened to her all along.
The way she talked about the behavioural therapists in the beginning of the book drove me crazy too. I understand that every parent thinks their child is brilliant and beautiful and unique, but these therapists aren't there to coddle children - they're there to work with the child.
"We hated the constant collecting of data on Emily. The clinical ways the behaviourists worked with her made me feel as if Emily weren't a beautiful child, our precious daughter, but a horse to be broken."
Look, I don't have children, and as I've said, I understand that all parents think their children are the most special children on earth. But those therapists that Valerie felt so free to disparage weren't there to dote on Emily. They were there to work with her, to try to help her, to help her make as much progress as was possible. And yes, of course they were going to document whatever progress she made. The "data collection" that Valerie dislikes so much? Essential to working with any children (hello, has she never heard of progress reports or report cards?) but, I would imagine, even more crucial when one is working with children with different abilities. She's not the "precious daughter" of these professionals; of course they're not going to treat her that way.
It just seems to me that Valerie had no intention of working or cooperating with anyone whose sole intention wasn't to fawn all over Emily.
I am glad I read this book, and am amazed by Emily's writing. But I wish that I had been able to hear more of her voice - and much less the voice of her insufferable, self-centred mother. I don't know how in the world her husband has managed to stay with her, because honestly, she seemed to take every opportunity she could to disparage him.
Emily Grodin was diagnosed with non-verbal autism as child and did not communicate until she was 25 when she typed the following phrase: “I have been buried under years of dust and now I have so much to say.” Emily’s mother, Valerie Gilpeer, writes about Emily’s early years and this extraordinary breakthrough in I Have Been Buried Under Years of Dust: A Memoir of Autism and Hope, which incorporates poetry and stories told from Emily’s perspective about their lives together. A story of unconditional love and faith in the face of difficulty, this powerful mother-daughter story highlights the importance of acceptance and perseverance. This one is a tear jerker.
Want to hear more about some great new reads? Listen to my podcast here: https://www.thoughtsfromapage.com. For more book reviews and book conversation, check out my Instagram account: https://www.instagram.com/thoughtsfromapage/.
Want to hear more about some great new reads? Listen to my podcast here: https://www.thoughtsfromapage.com. For more book reviews and book conversation, check out my Instagram account: https://www.instagram.com/thoughtsfromapage/.
I found this book to be a balanced, touching, and informative account about autism and the struggles faced by those who don't necessarily fit neatly into society and those close to those individuals who have to watch them struggle.
Too many reviewers of this book are concerned with only Emily's viewpoint of her autism with little concern about the difficulties her mother, Valerie, and father, Tom, face. Maybe this is fair because the synopsis of the book is a little misleading about whose viewpoint you are going to be reading. Both viewpoints are expressed in the book but the majority is through Valerie's viewpoint. It does a disservice to the book to hold this against the actual story written.
Valerie can come off as a privileged and self-centered person at times but much of this self-centered behavior can be seen as a mother who just wants her daughter to not miss out on all the experiences that "normal" people have. Of course the idea that people have to have the experience of "normal" people to have a fulfilling life can be insulting but it's not unnatural for a parent to want what they perceive to be the best for their kids. In fact, what many people seem to miss is that Valerie's persistence to not give up on giving Emily a "normal" life is what contributed in part to Emily's success.
Worth a read for anyone in my humble opinion.
Too many reviewers of this book are concerned with only Emily's viewpoint of her autism with little concern about the difficulties her mother, Valerie, and father, Tom, face. Maybe this is fair because the synopsis of the book is a little misleading about whose viewpoint you are going to be reading. Both viewpoints are expressed in the book but the majority is through Valerie's viewpoint. It does a disservice to the book to hold this against the actual story written.
Valerie can come off as a privileged and self-centered person at times but much of this self-centered behavior can be seen as a mother who just wants her daughter to not miss out on all the experiences that "normal" people have. Of course the idea that people have to have the experience of "normal" people to have a fulfilling life can be insulting but it's not unnatural for a parent to want what they perceive to be the best for their kids. In fact, what many people seem to miss is that Valerie's persistence to not give up on giving Emily a "normal" life is what contributed in part to Emily's success.
Worth a read for anyone in my humble opinion.