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catscantread666's review against another edition
challenging
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
4.5
bbqxaxiu's review against another edition
3.0
a very informative book about nonmonogamous attachment, how our ability to form secure attachments is informed by our childhood experiences and relationships with our primary caregivers, and what steps we can take to heal from the painful experiences we had as children to be able to form more secure attachments with ourselves and others.
would recommend!
would recommend!
aurora_because's review against another edition
5.0
Phenomenal, insightful read for anyone to learn about attachment, trauma, and how we relate to our partners, whether or not practicing polyamory.
carolanncrum's review against another edition
informative
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
Everyone should read this book. It’s a great resource for strengthening relationships with others and yourself, whether you’re polyamorous or monogamous, or the relationship(s) are romantic or platonic. This is THE best resource I’ve read on attachment theory that builds a solid foundation of understanding on attachment, describes how attachment shows up in our relationships with others and in ourselves, and has questions and tips for working towards secure attachment. It’s an accessible read, and the only resource I’ve encountered so far that gives me hope and tools for having a secure romantic relationship and doesn’t make me feel like I’m doomed forever because my parents sucked.
While this book speaks to polyamorous relationships, it focuses heavily on attachment, so if you’re monogamous please don’t dismiss this book. There’s a whole chapter on strengthening your relationship with yourself :)
While this book speaks to polyamorous relationships, it focuses heavily on attachment, so if you’re monogamous please don’t dismiss this book. There’s a whole chapter on strengthening your relationship with yourself :)
aocean's review against another edition
5.0
A bit allo-specific but overall very good and found helpful. Would recommend
fraeyalise's review against another edition
challenging
hopeful
informative
slow-paced
5.0
I really loved this book - it is useful for anyone in any kind of relationship, whether nonmonogamous or not, whether romantic or platonic. The concepts here can be applied in all adult relationships, especially including the relationship with the self (there's even a full chapter on it!).
It also laid out attachment styles in the clearest language I've seen, and the most accessible for me. I can see clearly my attachment styles and those of the people close to me, and I feel like just reading this book, I can navigate them easier because I'm more aware.
I also think it's so interesting that we know so much about how parents can wound children into adulthood through neglect, inconsistency, or abuse (which is in this book), but we still don't have proper resources allocated to set parents up for success (which this book doesn't talk about - that's not a complaint, parenting is outside the scope and subject of this book).
I highly doubt I will ever go back to polyamory, but I will definitely use the concepts in this book to become more secure in myself and my close relationships with the other adults in my life, romantic and platonic both.
It also laid out attachment styles in the clearest language I've seen, and the most accessible for me. I can see clearly my attachment styles and those of the people close to me, and I feel like just reading this book, I can navigate them easier because I'm more aware.
I also think it's so interesting that we know so much about how parents can wound children into adulthood through neglect, inconsistency, or abuse (which is in this book), but we still don't have proper resources allocated to set parents up for success (which this book doesn't talk about - that's not a complaint, parenting is outside the scope and subject of this book).
I highly doubt I will ever go back to polyamory, but I will definitely use the concepts in this book to become more secure in myself and my close relationships with the other adults in my life, romantic and platonic both.
laurenmiller100's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
4.75
Excellent and helpful text on attachment and trauma in polyamory