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mtstellens's review against another edition
5.0
jilmel24's review against another edition
5.0
ptchar3's review against another edition
4.0
"Don’t do what you know on a gut level to be the wrong thing to do. Don’t stay when you know you should go or go when you know you should stay. Don’t fight when you should hold steady or hold steady when you should fight. Don’t focus on the short-term fun instead of the long-term fall out. Don’t surrender all your joy for an idea you used to have about yourself that isn’t true anymore. Don’t seek joy at all costs. I know it’s hard to know what to do when you have a conflicting set of emotions and desires, but it’s not as hard as we pretend it is. Saying it’s hard is ultimately a justification to do whatever seems like the easiest thing to do—have the affair, stay at that horrible job, end a friendship over a slight, keep loving someone who treats you terribly. I don’t think there’s a single dumbass thing I’ve done in my adult life that I didn’t know was a dumbass thing to do while I was doing it. Even when I justified it to myself—as I did every damn time—the truest part of me knew I was doing the wrong thing. Always. As the years pass, I’m learning how to better trust my gut and not do the wrong thing, but every so often I get a harsh reminder that I’ve still got work to do.”
“Most things will be okay eventually, but not everything will be. Sometimes you'll put up a good fight and lose. Sometimes you'll hold on really hard and realize there is no choice but to let go. Acceptance is a small, quiet room.”
“Nobody will protect you from your suffering. You can't cry it away or eat it away or starve it away or walk it away or punch it away or even therapy it away. It's just there, and you have to survive it. You have to endure it. You have to live through it and love it and move on and be better for it and run as far as you can in the direction of your best and happiest dreams across the bridge that was built by your own desire to heal.”
billielentz's review against another edition
4.0
haushinkuh's review against another edition
4.0
waytoomanybooks's review against another edition
5.0
There are two quotes towards the end of the memoir that I feel capture the essence of the advice Sugar/Cheryl gives:
“It was a becoming that I would not have dreamed was mine” (323)
“Your life will be a great and continous unfolding” (351).
I highly recommend this book. And if you like this one, then you will also love How to be a Person in the World by Heather Havrilesky/Ask Polly.
Graphic: Mental illness and Grief
Moderate: Death, Death of parent, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Infertility, Misogyny, Drug abuse, Medical trauma, Transphobia, Sexual harassment, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Toxic friendship, Body shaming, Child abuse, Addiction, Alcoholism, Child death, Cursing, Pregnancy, Racism, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt, Terminal illness, Injury/Injury detail, Miscarriage, Sexism, Violence, Pedophilia, Panic attacks/disorders, Rape, Abandonment, Drug use, Eating disorder, Animal cruelty, Animal death, Bullying, Dysphoria, Infidelity, Physical abuse, Abortion, Chronic illness, Classism, Fatphobia, Medical content, and Suicide