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bumbee's review against another edition
adventurous
dark
mysterious
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Body horror, Cursing, Death, Drug abuse, Drug use, Gore, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Violence, Grief, Murder, and Injury/Injury detail
thesmutsister_emma's review against another edition
dark
emotional
mysterious
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
You Could Say They Were Hellbent to Figure This Out
3.75🌟/5 IF YOU ARE HERE For SA TWS FOR THIS BOOK OR LOOKING FOR WHICH CHAPTERS CONTAIN SA, THEY ARE AS FOLLOWS: Chapter 7, Chapter 14 and discussions through Chapters 14-16.
I'm going to be honest with y'all (as always). I only bought this book because I thought it was going to be a dark academia story similar to If We Were Villains or The Secret History. I went in blind (as I usually do with books) and was happily surprised. With that being said, I do have a few bones to pick. (see what I did there?)
The Characters
Alex Stern: Lord have mercy on this poor child's soul. Holy hell. I honestly feel like she was handed some bad fucking cards at some point or another. Everything this girl has gone through and then continues to go through? Shit, man. I honestly am proud of her for not giving up. I honestly loved Alex as a main character and felt like she went about things very well in this book. She has some negative self-talk throughout, but honestly, who wouldn't? She always ended up outsmarting everyone or at least not being too far behind and for a girl who has only known about all of this for about 6 months to 1 year, I'd say she's doing a damn good job.
Things I Loved
Honestly, all the characters were likable (at least the ones we were supposed to like.) I felt really drawn to Dawes, but that's just because deep deep down, all I want is for someone to have soup waiting for me at the end of every day. Honestly though, I liked the structure of the book. I enjoyed learning about the houses the same way Alex did and having that distinction between us still learning alongside Alex (somewhat) and us knowing the same amount as Alex and trying to solve this with her. It was great.
Things I Didn't Love
Here we go. This is where I am about to get passionate about things. This is also the reason my rating is so low. Leigh Bardugo is no new to the publishing industry. This is not Leigh Bardugo's first book. Therefore, I do feel as though there are some things she should have prefaced in this book, especially making the transition from YA to adult. The major thing I feel needs to be prefaced and discussed are the fucking trigger warnings. Or more simply put, the lack thereof. There are zero trigger warnings in this book despite a graphic scene of SA against a 12 year old girl, as well as another girl at a frat party. I somewhat understand the need for these situations, (I will discuss the need to frequently traumatize women at a later date) but there should have been some form of a warning considering how graphic they are. If one of Leigh's loyal readers went from any of her previous series straight to this one, this would be a rather rude awakening. I haven't even begun to talk about the graphicness of the violence in the book. Everything is very detailed, some of it unnecessarily so. This is why this book has such a low rating for me.
The Final Verdict
If you are going into this expecting anything like Leigh Bardugo's previous books, please don't. The content in this truly is created for adults and even unsettled me. If you have mentally prepared for this book and have looked into the content it holds, I truly believe you will thoroughly enjoy it. I would have enjoyed it much more if it weren't for the fact that I had to witness a very graphic SA without warning.
3.75🌟/5 IF YOU ARE HERE For SA TWS FOR THIS BOOK OR LOOKING FOR WHICH CHAPTERS CONTAIN SA, THEY ARE AS FOLLOWS: Chapter 7, Chapter 14 and discussions through Chapters 14-16.
I'm going to be honest with y'all (as always). I only bought this book because I thought it was going to be a dark academia story similar to If We Were Villains or The Secret History. I went in blind (as I usually do with books) and was happily surprised. With that being said, I do have a few bones to pick. (see what I did there?)
The Characters
Alex Stern: Lord have mercy on this poor child's soul. Holy hell. I honestly feel like she was handed some bad fucking cards at some point or another. Everything this girl has gone through and then continues to go through? Shit, man. I honestly am proud of her for not giving up. I honestly loved Alex as a main character and felt like she went about things very well in this book. She has some negative self-talk throughout, but honestly, who wouldn't? She always ended up outsmarting everyone or at least not being too far behind and for a girl who has only known about all of this for about 6 months to 1 year, I'd say she's doing a damn good job.
Things I Loved
Honestly, all the characters were likable (at least the ones we were supposed to like.) I felt really drawn to Dawes, but that's just because deep deep down, all I want is for someone to have soup waiting for me at the end of every day. Honestly though, I liked the structure of the book. I enjoyed learning about the houses the same way Alex did and having that distinction between us still learning alongside Alex (somewhat) and us knowing the same amount as Alex and trying to solve this with her. It was great.
Things I Didn't Love
Here we go. This is where I am about to get passionate about things. This is also the reason my rating is so low. Leigh Bardugo is no new to the publishing industry. This is not Leigh Bardugo's first book. Therefore, I do feel as though there are some things she should have prefaced in this book, especially making the transition from YA to adult. The major thing I feel needs to be prefaced and discussed are the fucking trigger warnings. Or more simply put, the lack thereof. There are zero trigger warnings in this book despite a graphic scene of SA against a 12 year old girl, as well as another girl at a frat party. I somewhat understand the need for these situations, (I will discuss the need to frequently traumatize women at a later date) but there should have been some form of a warning considering how graphic they are. If one of Leigh's loyal readers went from any of her previous series straight to this one, this would be a rather rude awakening. I haven't even begun to talk about the graphicness of the violence in the book. Everything is very detailed, some of it unnecessarily so. This is why this book has such a low rating for me.
The Final Verdict
If you are going into this expecting anything like Leigh Bardugo's previous books, please don't. The content in this truly is created for adults and even unsettled me. If you have mentally prepared for this book and have looked into the content it holds, I truly believe you will thoroughly enjoy it. I would have enjoyed it much more if it weren't for the fact that I had to witness a very graphic SA without warning.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Body horror, Cursing, Death, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Gore, Misogyny, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Blood, Medical content, Grief, Medical trauma, Murder, Sexual harassment, and Injury/Injury detail
alyssasaurus's review against another edition
adventurous
dark
mysterious
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Body horror, Cursing, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Gore, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Stalking, Suicide attempt, Murder, Sexual harassment, Injury/Injury detail, and Classism
jareadforfilth's review against another edition
adventurous
dark
funny
mysterious
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Drug abuse, Drug use, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, and Violence
Moderate: Cursing, Pedophilia, Vomit, Grief, and Gaslighting
ktv's review against another edition
dark
mysterious
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
5.0
I loved this book. Perfect first read of the year. I loved the timeline being nonlinear. Foreshadowing was predictable at some parts in the beginning but at the end (last 25%) I had no idea what I was going to be hit with next. Loved how the wheel symbolism came back fill circle. Also how Bardugo characterized Belbalm like I thought she had something to do with magic at first but then my scent was thrown off that trail because of how convincing the writing was saying that Alex just wanted a normal and calm life.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Body horror, Cursing, Death, Drug abuse, Drug use, Gore, Pedophilia, Racism, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Blood, Trafficking, Murder, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, and Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Adult/minor relationship, Physical abuse, Toxic relationship, Vomit, and Classism
Minor: Cancer, Slavery, Excrement, and Antisemitism
aklovekorn's review against another edition
adventurous
dark
mysterious
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Body horror, Cursing, Death, Drug abuse, Drug use, Gore, Gun violence, Misogyny, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Excrement, Vomit, Medical content, Grief, Murder, and Injury/Injury detail
bookishaddy's review against another edition
dark
mysterious
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Cursing, Death, Drug abuse, Drug use, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Torture, Blood, Grief, Murder, and Alcohol
pelagicsun's review against another edition
adventurous
dark
mysterious
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Me ha gustado mucho, no me ha flipado. Alex es MUY guay y el mundo que presenta es horripilantemente verosĂmil. Me gusta el rollo de la magia, me gustan los personajes y el misterio ha estado interesante. Supongo que no soy muy fan de los thrillers per se, por mucha magia que tengan.
TambiĂ©n hubiera agradecido el CW por una escena de una violaciĂłn explĂcita.
TambiĂ©n hubiera agradecido el CW por una escena de una violaciĂłn explĂcita.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cursing, Drug abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Gore, Mental illness, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Racism, Rape, Self harm, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Violence, Excrement, Vomit, Murder, Sexual harassment, and Injury/Injury detail
booking_along's review against another edition
adventurous
dark
mysterious
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
this had a very slow start for me.
it took way over half the book until i finally started to enjoy it and actually get interested in what was going in.
part of that was definitely the alternating time jumps with each chapter. i didn’t really think it did the entire story a huge favor in sprinkling in the understanding and knowledge of how this magic and ghost stuff was possible in small little doses in between other things.
i also HATED that the book took a jab at dyslexics go no reason at all and in the most unnecessary situation as well.
there was no reason to put that in. non at all.
<blockquote> “you’re dyslexic, yes?” “yes,” alex lied, <b>because she needed a reason for how far behind everyone else she was.</b>”</blockquote>
excuse me?
okay sure. that was personal to me because i am dyslexic and i HATE when people do exactly that.
i never ever heard or meet another dyslexic person that was behind anyone else in anything if they could somehow control that.
dyslexic people are some of the hardest working ones around because we had to figure out how to do something our own way that everyone else somehow just understand without issues.
reading? learning to write of someone dictates or just talks to you and you are supposed ti know how to write what they are saying? learning from books filled with texted which could have easily been cut down to 1/3 of what’s being said?
dyslexic people have ti wade through that and work around that and find ways to do all that while keeping up.
dyslexia has absolute nothing to do with being slower or stupid or unable to keep up or learn something.
so excuse me!
but using being dyslexic as a reason because you don’t really give a fuck about your academics?
not okay,Bardugo!
dyslexic people everywhere already have to fight enough to be seen as anything but stupid, so just don’t include that! especially if it’s so easily avoidable and unnecessary to do it in the way bardugo did here!
was it just a very small thing overall?
yes! sure!
but it bothered me a hell of a lot.
especially because it was utterly unnecessary.
leaving that behind:
already mentioned 2/3 of the book are very slow and drag until it finally builds momentum and starts to go somewhere.
and once it does it picked up speed fast and didn’t stop until the last page.
the mystery aspects where very well done, i give Bardugo a point for that.
how she interwove and spun all those different things and people together and actually made it make sense?
well done.
could it have been done a bit faster and less dragged out? yup.
i am surprised to say that i liked alex.
she’s one of those characters that i think readers either enjoy going on that crazy train with or dislike her a lot because she’s not a typical character.
i think what i liked most about her was that she tried hard to not connected to people because she knew it would hurt her to loose them because she already experienced that but at the same time she graved people that would want to connect to her.
<blockquote> “i know you’re used to dealing with people who <b>can’t just</b>, but i can….let’s get square so we can forget all a lot this.”
….
“you can’t just-“
“salome,” Alex said, shaking her finger. “those words again.”
…”you can’t just do things like that. you’ll go to jail.”
“probably,” said alex. “but you’ll still look like a brother-fucking hillbilly.”</blockquote>
she’s a survivor and a fighter in the best ways that i enjoy a lot- she’s a scratcher and biter and doesn’t care how she survives as long as she’s alive in the end.
who cares about looking good or manners when someone wants you dead or already thinks you’re crazy?
<blockquote>”what’s wrong with you?” Dawes spat as alex joined her at the nondescript door ...
“i’m a bad dancer and i don’t floss. what’s wrong with you?” </blockquote>
she’s snarky and not surprisingly someone that’s good at reading other people and using that to her advantage.
she’s a rather brilliant character.
the side characters.
Mercy and Dawes.
they added something to the story that it needed desperately to balance a character like Alex out a little - but at the same time they were their own characters and that worked very well.
the overall plot- it was good.
i liked the idea of the Grays and that there are some that can just see them and some that seems to be able to be taught to do so.
i kind of wish we would have gotten more of how that entire thing actually works.
how exactly do grays come to be and why? sure we learn a few unhelpful details throughout the story about them, but i would have liked a better understanding of how it all works.
are grays the same as ghosts? can they be helped and “desolve” or “move on” once they are done or helped? is a gray always a gray once they became one? can they become violent or harmful on their own simply by being in this in between space too long?
or if they can move on if they wish and/or want how they like it why aren’t there more overall?
and why would a gray choose to stay if they can move on? and what would that mean for the afterlife -if there is such a thing which i feel like is hinted at in the book as long as there is a soul in tact?
sure those things get mentioned but never actually explained.
there is a pretty short little mention -something Darlington says relatively early on in the book about how just a specific number of grays can pass through or something similar- but it never is really expensively explained why or how.
just as the rest of the magic isn’t.
if you can teach it -as it technically is in this book- does that mean everyone could learn it not just those elite few mentioned in the book?
and if that’s the case is the only reasons it’s all kept so secretive and hush hush because it’s a power play of the rich that can use it to their advantage and dont want others to learn to do the same or at least not make it a tool to be used exclusively by the rich?
but if that’s the case why -as also asked by alex herself and never answers throughout the book- dont the lethe help kids like alex as soon as they learn about them? if they can make coming to a Uni appealing to someone not interesting in academics i am sure they could find ways to assure a desperate parent they can help their troubled child.
and wouldn’t that guarantee a more successful lethe and partnership between them and the houses of the veil? because the kids like alex would feel thankful and/or indebted to them for helping them when nobody else could or would….
am i overthinking this?
possible.
but that happens if i read a book like this and there are just too few answers and no promise of them in the next book of the series.
all in all?
for me the ending made it worth the read overall.
and i am excited to read the next book in this , thankfully not having to wait 2 years like many others that read this book when it came out.
do i think this book was forth the hype and extreme praise it gets everywhere and that everyone should read it?
eh.
depends on what you want out of it.
so you want a slow build with a very different but interesting main character, lots of open questions, a bit of a murder mystery and all that with supernatural elements and people that believe they are better and can get wa way with everything because they can tell daddy and he makes the problems disappear?
go for it!
if you want fast paced, getting into the action and figuring stuff out, dealing with creatures left and right and a kick ass heroine main character?
not really the book.
you want mostly dark academia, heavy focus on school itself in a way, study sections and talk about academia?
wrong book.
you want an intriguing idea that you don’t mind waiting for to get explained and expanded on?
this might be a good choice.
for me it was a good story overall.
wasn’t my favorite of this authors works nor in my option her best overall in characters, plot and story telling itself.
but it was definitely her most interesting and most intriguing idea and thought out plot.
i would recommend it.
but know going in it takes a while until it makes sense and get going, but once it starts be read to read until your done.
it took way over half the book until i finally started to enjoy it and actually get interested in what was going in.
part of that was definitely the alternating time jumps with each chapter. i didn’t really think it did the entire story a huge favor in sprinkling in the understanding and knowledge of how this magic and ghost stuff was possible in small little doses in between other things.
i also HATED that the book took a jab at dyslexics go no reason at all and in the most unnecessary situation as well.
there was no reason to put that in. non at all.
<blockquote> “you’re dyslexic, yes?” “yes,” alex lied, <b>because she needed a reason for how far behind everyone else she was.</b>”</blockquote>
excuse me?
okay sure. that was personal to me because i am dyslexic and i HATE when people do exactly that.
i never ever heard or meet another dyslexic person that was behind anyone else in anything if they could somehow control that.
dyslexic people are some of the hardest working ones around because we had to figure out how to do something our own way that everyone else somehow just understand without issues.
reading? learning to write of someone dictates or just talks to you and you are supposed ti know how to write what they are saying? learning from books filled with texted which could have easily been cut down to 1/3 of what’s being said?
dyslexic people have ti wade through that and work around that and find ways to do all that while keeping up.
dyslexia has absolute nothing to do with being slower or stupid or unable to keep up or learn something.
so excuse me!
but using being dyslexic as a reason because you don’t really give a fuck about your academics?
not okay,Bardugo!
dyslexic people everywhere already have to fight enough to be seen as anything but stupid, so just don’t include that! especially if it’s so easily avoidable and unnecessary to do it in the way bardugo did here!
was it just a very small thing overall?
yes! sure!
but it bothered me a hell of a lot.
especially because it was utterly unnecessary.
leaving that behind:
already mentioned 2/3 of the book are very slow and drag until it finally builds momentum and starts to go somewhere.
and once it does it picked up speed fast and didn’t stop until the last page.
the mystery aspects where very well done, i give Bardugo a point for that.
how she interwove and spun all those different things and people together and actually made it make sense?
well done.
could it have been done a bit faster and less dragged out? yup.
i am surprised to say that i liked alex.
she’s one of those characters that i think readers either enjoy going on that crazy train with or dislike her a lot because she’s not a typical character.
i think what i liked most about her was that she tried hard to not connected to people because she knew it would hurt her to loose them because she already experienced that but at the same time she graved people that would want to connect to her.
<blockquote> “i know you’re used to dealing with people who <b>can’t just</b>, but i can….let’s get square so we can forget all a lot this.”
….
“you can’t just-“
“salome,” Alex said, shaking her finger. “those words again.”
…”you can’t just do things like that. you’ll go to jail.”
“probably,” said alex. “but you’ll still look like a brother-fucking hillbilly.”</blockquote>
she’s a survivor and a fighter in the best ways that i enjoy a lot- she’s a scratcher and biter and doesn’t care how she survives as long as she’s alive in the end.
who cares about looking good or manners when someone wants you dead or already thinks you’re crazy?
<blockquote>”what’s wrong with you?” Dawes spat as alex joined her at the nondescript door ...
“i’m a bad dancer and i don’t floss. what’s wrong with you?” </blockquote>
she’s snarky and not surprisingly someone that’s good at reading other people and using that to her advantage.
she’s a rather brilliant character.
the side characters.
Mercy and Dawes.
they added something to the story that it needed desperately to balance a character like Alex out a little - but at the same time they were their own characters and that worked very well.
the overall plot- it was good.
i liked the idea of the Grays and that there are some that can just see them and some that seems to be able to be taught to do so.
i kind of wish we would have gotten more of how that entire thing actually works.
how exactly do grays come to be and why? sure we learn a few unhelpful details throughout the story about them, but i would have liked a better understanding of how it all works.
are grays the same as ghosts? can they be helped and “desolve” or “move on” once they are done or helped? is a gray always a gray once they became one? can they become violent or harmful on their own simply by being in this in between space too long?
or if they can move on if they wish and/or want how they like it why aren’t there more overall?
and why would a gray choose to stay if they can move on? and what would that mean for the afterlife -if there is such a thing which i feel like is hinted at in the book as long as there is a soul in tact?
sure those things get mentioned but never actually explained.
there is a pretty short little mention -something Darlington says relatively early on in the book about how just a specific number of grays can pass through or something similar- but it never is really expensively explained why or how.
just as the rest of the magic isn’t.
if you can teach it -as it technically is in this book- does that mean everyone could learn it not just those elite few mentioned in the book?
and if that’s the case is the only reasons it’s all kept so secretive and hush hush because it’s a power play of the rich that can use it to their advantage and dont want others to learn to do the same or at least not make it a tool to be used exclusively by the rich?
but if that’s the case why -as also asked by alex herself and never answers throughout the book- dont the lethe help kids like alex as soon as they learn about them? if they can make coming to a Uni appealing to someone not interesting in academics i am sure they could find ways to assure a desperate parent they can help their troubled child.
and wouldn’t that guarantee a more successful lethe and partnership between them and the houses of the veil? because the kids like alex would feel thankful and/or indebted to them for helping them when nobody else could or would….
am i overthinking this?
possible.
but that happens if i read a book like this and there are just too few answers and no promise of them in the next book of the series.
all in all?
for me the ending made it worth the read overall.
and i am excited to read the next book in this , thankfully not having to wait 2 years like many others that read this book when it came out.
do i think this book was forth the hype and extreme praise it gets everywhere and that everyone should read it?
eh.
depends on what you want out of it.
so you want a slow build with a very different but interesting main character, lots of open questions, a bit of a murder mystery and all that with supernatural elements and people that believe they are better and can get wa way with everything because they can tell daddy and he makes the problems disappear?
go for it!
if you want fast paced, getting into the action and figuring stuff out, dealing with creatures left and right and a kick ass heroine main character?
not really the book.
you want mostly dark academia, heavy focus on school itself in a way, study sections and talk about academia?
wrong book.
you want an intriguing idea that you don’t mind waiting for to get explained and expanded on?
this might be a good choice.
for me it was a good story overall.
wasn’t my favorite of this authors works nor in my option her best overall in characters, plot and story telling itself.
but it was definitely her most interesting and most intriguing idea and thought out plot.
i would recommend it.
but know going in it takes a while until it makes sense and get going, but once it starts be read to read until your done.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Bullying, Cursing, Death, Drug abuse, Drug use, Gore, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Violence, Blood, Murder, Gaslighting, Alcohol, and Classism
illiteratewench's review against another edition
adventurous
dark
mysterious
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.5
I still don't read much fantasy but I definitely like this urban fantasy, dark academia setting in Ninth House. I love Darlington and I love a golden boy bad girl dynamic! The multiple timelines worked for me, I was pretty interested (there's present time where Darlington has disappeared, the past year of Alex joining Lethe, and then into the past fleshing out Alex's life). The privilege and classism of academia is exemplified through Lethe, a secret society in Yale. Magic is used as another institutional power that furthers real world problems. It's secretive and only a top 1% can access it. It is used to hurt minority groups or vulnerable peoples. The plot is slow to start but really tense and addicting later. I really liked this book as well as Alex and Pammy warming up to each other and working together. The sequel Hell Bent is not as exciting as this one, but it still ties up plot ends and starts new ones, so I'll definitely still be catching the third book when it's out.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Drug abuse, Drug use, Rape, Sexual assault, and Sexual violence
Moderate: Cursing, Death, Domestic abuse, Misogyny, Violence, and Murder
Minor: Racial slurs, Racism, Slavery, Toxic relationship, Blood, and Vomit