You need to sign in or sign up before continuing.
Take a photo of a barcode or cover
3.75 AVERAGE
3.75 AVERAGE
emotional
sad
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
The Meaning of Birds is a book that will throw you into a pit of despair but in a delicious, angsty way that's can be so cathartic if you let it. That's how I felt, reading it. I felt like I was being punched down and forced to face my grief of losing beloved people in my life.
I appreciated the honesty in this book; the rage, too. Especially since girls like Jess, who present the way they do, are of ten stereotyped as hard. I liked that Jess was tough and angry and violent sometimes. It made sense. She's just lost the love of her life. She's 17. Her life has ended. Or so it feels to her. And that's what matters: her feelings. Her grief. I wanted her to punch her way out through the sadness whichever way that suited her.
And that's precisely what we get in The Meaning of Birds.
It's cruel to say that I enjoyed this book, since it was so painful, so I say shall I appreciate the existence of this book. So much.
I appreciated the honesty in this book; the rage, too. Especially since girls like Jess, who present the way they do, are of ten stereotyped as hard. I liked that Jess was tough and angry and violent sometimes. It made sense. She's just lost the love of her life. She's 17. Her life has ended. Or so it feels to her. And that's what matters: her feelings. Her grief. I wanted her to punch her way out through the sadness whichever way that suited her.
And that's precisely what we get in The Meaning of Birds.
It's cruel to say that I enjoyed this book, since it was so painful, so I say shall I appreciate the existence of this book. So much.
dark
hopeful
sad
slow-paced
was very good
but why are all the good lesbian books so saddd
i want me some happy lesbians
but why are all the good lesbian books so saddd
i want me some happy lesbians
Oh my god, has this book got me in a web of feelings. It broke my heart over and over again, while simultaneously filling it with fluff and happiness. And then to top it all off, rage at how problematic some of it was that I wanted to just throw this book across the room and give up with it.
But I couldn’t give up. I was absolutely hooked. I fell in love with Jess and Vivi’s story, but I’m also here to tell you that there’s some big fuckin red flags in this book that made me really hella uncomfortable to read. But here I am, having finished this book in a sitting.
So, as usual, I’ll start with the positives of this book. I absolutely loved the timeline and how it was broken into alternating before and after sections. It really hit hard in the feels as you get glimpses into the romance then to be slapped back into the grieving.
I loved loved loved Greer and how alternative art forms were included in the story. Blacksmithing. How often do you hear about something as cool as blacksmithing in a book? Also, along with this, by the end Jess was giving alternate schooling such a good attitude and it’s great to see people look at alternative learning and learning trades as something good. It shouldn’t be just for the kids kicked out of their “regular” school or for kids in trouble with the law. Some people are talented in ways that don’t fall in the traditional school curriculum. Let people choose the path that suits them best. But then the book also flipped on the good representation of this, because everyone was all “oh staying here isn’t good for you” and how she’s surrounded by bad influences. Meanwhile it’s the place that sets her life back on track in a positive way.
I loved the romance between Jess and Vivi. I hated how jealousy became a big thing at one point, but it was mildly remedied with an apology, but overall the romance was super sweet and enjoyable to read.
And then…
I feel like I could write an essay on what’s wrong with the book too. And most of it comes from shitty comments from Jess that aren’t challenged by the narrative.
1) Jess is continually mean to Chey about her not being romantically into anyone. The narrative acknowledges and alludes to her very likely being asexual/aromantic, but Jess continually harasses Chey for “leading him on” and joking about him being her boyfriend even though Chey clearly asks her to stop. This isn’t cool. Jess is outright disrespecting Chey’s potential orientation and she never apologizes.
2) Jess criticizes Vivi for being open to the idea of being with a man (not in a cheating situation, in a sexuality situation). The text never states her sexuality, but she’s either bi/pan with her explaining she’s into a person, irrelevant of gender. But Jess is disgusted by this and gives her a hard time about this.
3) Proceeding this convo, Vivi then makes a comment about there being “substitutes to satisfy her curiousity.” Wow. So first Jess is negative about Vivi being strictly gay, and then they give in to the problematic idea that bi women have a “curiosity” that needs to be “satisfied.” No. Bi women are just as valid when in a same-sex relationship, and it doesn’t mean that just because she’d be with another gender means that she has some deep-seated curiosity that isn’t going to be met if she doesn’t end up with a man. There’s so much shit in the LGBTQ+ community already towards bi people, let’s not contribute more to it pls.
4) I wish I saved quotes for this one. But basically after Vivi dies, Jess obviously isn’t ready for a relationship. But she makes so many internal comments, and leads Levi on, and thinks that if she has a thing with a guy… that it doesn’t count?? She thinks being with another woman is like cheating on Vivi, but if she makes out with Levi, it’s not the same thing?? What??? So first, you criticize the girl for being also into other genders, and then you engage in activities with men. And get this!! The NARRATIVE NEVER CRITICIZES HER FOR THIS. If it was challenged, it’s one thing. But it’s not. The only problem apparently is that she’d be leading him on. Not that she thinks being with a different gender makes it an exception. (Ok so obviously she isn’t cheating on Vivi, but it’s just problematic that she thinks getting with a different gender makes it okay. It’s like perpetuating the idea that bi people are more likely to cheat because it’s “okay if it’s with another gender.” No. Cheating is cheating. She’s not cheating here, just the mindset around it is fucked.)
5) So before their anniversary, Jess and Vivi had talked about sex. Vivi clearly states she isn’t comfortable going there yet and Jess says aloud that she is willing to wait, BUT internally, there is a line about her trying to “finagle to some consent.” This. Isn’t. How. Consent. Works. Reading this line in a YA book made me SO uncomfortable. The words “finagle” and “consent” shouldn’t be in the same sentence. Yeah, you may get her to say “yes” outloud if you’ve coerced her, but she’s already stated clearly that she’s not ready. That’s wrong. (They don’t end up having sex. But this comment alone sucks enough to ruin the scene. If they had sex, I probably would’ve thrown this book into a fire.)
6) My last one for now, is that Jess literally says she’s “going for the gold-star” as in being a “gold-star gay.” This makes me SO mad. So, this comes up after her thing with Levi, and whether or not he can tell people what happened with them. And she makes it clear she doesn't want people to know, because she's going for the GOLD-STAR. For those who don't know, I don't know how common this still is, but people would use the term "gold-star gay" to mean they've never been with anyone other than the same-sex. Which is so fucked. It's like if you had been with another gender at some point, that it belittles you and that you're not as "gay" as another gay person who's only been with the same-sex. Let me tell you. We don't need this kind of attitude within the queer community. I actually didn't know what this term meant until I faced it myself with people giving me a hard time about how I wasn't a gold-star gay and they were. Like okay, yeah, I questioned and wasn't sure of my sexuality until a later age than you, so that now makes my identity not as solid as someone elses? Like I'm pretty fucking gay, but apparently less than others who haven't been with anyone other than the same-sex. UGH.
I'm so worked up after writing this, and honestly my initial response to finishing this book was 4-star. Because it was a pleasant read (but I also binge read and didn't give myself the time to be mad about the things I'm mad at. I wrote them down quickly to come back to later and see if these issues would be remedied or not, and they weren't. So now is when I get mad).
So, now that I've thoroughly thought through how I feel about it, I morally cannot give this more than 2 stars. This few issues I have with it aren't minor. Some of these issues are things that perpetuate so much hate still within the LGBTQ+ community and I can't get behind that. I absolutely wanted to love this book, because hell yEAH I wanted a cute queer but heartbreaking story, but I just can't do it.
NOTE: Any lines pulled are from the arc. Some things might, I hope, be changed to be less problematic. If you've read a finished copy, please let me know if any of these are remedied, because I really really wanted to love this!
Review can also be found on my blog!
*Thanks to the publisher for providing me with a copy in exchange for an honest review.*
But I couldn’t give up. I was absolutely hooked. I fell in love with Jess and Vivi’s story, but I’m also here to tell you that there’s some big fuckin red flags in this book that made me really hella uncomfortable to read. But here I am, having finished this book in a sitting.
So, as usual, I’ll start with the positives of this book. I absolutely loved the timeline and how it was broken into alternating before and after sections. It really hit hard in the feels as you get glimpses into the romance then to be slapped back into the grieving.
I loved loved loved Greer and how alternative art forms were included in the story. Blacksmithing. How often do you hear about something as cool as blacksmithing in a book? Also, along with this, by the end Jess was giving alternate schooling such a good attitude and it’s great to see people look at alternative learning and learning trades as something good. It shouldn’t be just for the kids kicked out of their “regular” school or for kids in trouble with the law. Some people are talented in ways that don’t fall in the traditional school curriculum. Let people choose the path that suits them best. But then the book also flipped on the good representation of this, because everyone was all “oh staying here isn’t good for you” and how she’s surrounded by bad influences. Meanwhile it’s the place that sets her life back on track in a positive way.
I loved the romance between Jess and Vivi. I hated how jealousy became a big thing at one point, but it was mildly remedied with an apology, but overall the romance was super sweet and enjoyable to read.
And then…
I feel like I could write an essay on what’s wrong with the book too. And most of it comes from shitty comments from Jess that aren’t challenged by the narrative.
1) Jess is continually mean to Chey about her not being romantically into anyone. The narrative acknowledges and alludes to her very likely being asexual/aromantic, but Jess continually harasses Chey for “leading him on” and joking about him being her boyfriend even though Chey clearly asks her to stop. This isn’t cool. Jess is outright disrespecting Chey’s potential orientation and she never apologizes.
2) Jess criticizes Vivi for being open to the idea of being with a man (not in a cheating situation, in a sexuality situation). The text never states her sexuality, but she’s either bi/pan with her explaining she’s into a person, irrelevant of gender. But Jess is disgusted by this and gives her a hard time about this.
3) Proceeding this convo, Vivi then makes a comment about there being “substitutes to satisfy her curiousity.” Wow. So first Jess is negative about Vivi being strictly gay, and then they give in to the problematic idea that bi women have a “curiosity” that needs to be “satisfied.” No. Bi women are just as valid when in a same-sex relationship, and it doesn’t mean that just because she’d be with another gender means that she has some deep-seated curiosity that isn’t going to be met if she doesn’t end up with a man. There’s so much shit in the LGBTQ+ community already towards bi people, let’s not contribute more to it pls.
4) I wish I saved quotes for this one. But basically after Vivi dies, Jess obviously isn’t ready for a relationship. But she makes so many internal comments, and leads Levi on, and thinks that if she has a thing with a guy… that it doesn’t count?? She thinks being with another woman is like cheating on Vivi, but if she makes out with Levi, it’s not the same thing?? What??? So first, you criticize the girl for being also into other genders, and then you engage in activities with men. And get this!! The NARRATIVE NEVER CRITICIZES HER FOR THIS. If it was challenged, it’s one thing. But it’s not. The only problem apparently is that she’d be leading him on. Not that she thinks being with a different gender makes it an exception. (Ok so obviously she isn’t cheating on Vivi, but it’s just problematic that she thinks getting with a different gender makes it okay. It’s like perpetuating the idea that bi people are more likely to cheat because it’s “okay if it’s with another gender.” No. Cheating is cheating. She’s not cheating here, just the mindset around it is fucked.)
5) So before their anniversary, Jess and Vivi had talked about sex. Vivi clearly states she isn’t comfortable going there yet and Jess says aloud that she is willing to wait, BUT internally, there is a line about her trying to “finagle to some consent.” This. Isn’t. How. Consent. Works. Reading this line in a YA book made me SO uncomfortable. The words “finagle” and “consent” shouldn’t be in the same sentence. Yeah, you may get her to say “yes” outloud if you’ve coerced her, but she’s already stated clearly that she’s not ready. That’s wrong. (They don’t end up having sex. But this comment alone sucks enough to ruin the scene. If they had sex, I probably would’ve thrown this book into a fire.)
6) My last one for now, is that Jess literally says she’s “going for the gold-star” as in being a “gold-star gay.” This makes me SO mad. So, this comes up after her thing with Levi, and whether or not he can tell people what happened with them. And she makes it clear she doesn't want people to know, because she's going for the GOLD-STAR. For those who don't know, I don't know how common this still is, but people would use the term "gold-star gay" to mean they've never been with anyone other than the same-sex. Which is so fucked. It's like if you had been with another gender at some point, that it belittles you and that you're not as "gay" as another gay person who's only been with the same-sex. Let me tell you. We don't need this kind of attitude within the queer community. I actually didn't know what this term meant until I faced it myself with people giving me a hard time about how I wasn't a gold-star gay and they were. Like okay, yeah, I questioned and wasn't sure of my sexuality until a later age than you, so that now makes my identity not as solid as someone elses? Like I'm pretty fucking gay, but apparently less than others who haven't been with anyone other than the same-sex. UGH.
I'm so worked up after writing this, and honestly my initial response to finishing this book was 4-star. Because it was a pleasant read (but I also binge read and didn't give myself the time to be mad about the things I'm mad at. I wrote them down quickly to come back to later and see if these issues would be remedied or not, and they weren't. So now is when I get mad).
So, now that I've thoroughly thought through how I feel about it, I morally cannot give this more than 2 stars. This few issues I have with it aren't minor. Some of these issues are things that perpetuate so much hate still within the LGBTQ+ community and I can't get behind that. I absolutely wanted to love this book, because hell yEAH I wanted a cute queer but heartbreaking story, but I just can't do it.
NOTE: Any lines pulled are from the arc. Some things might, I hope, be changed to be less problematic. If you've read a finished copy, please let me know if any of these are remedied, because I really really wanted to love this!
Review can also be found on my blog!
*Thanks to the publisher for providing me with a copy in exchange for an honest review.*
emotional
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
N/A
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
I received this title as a digital ARC from Edelweiss for an honest review.
Jessica has anger issues, that probably stem from her dad's death. She's trying to get a handle on them, but it's just so hard. Enter Vivi. Vivi moves to their town and Jessica is instantly smitten. What's more, between Jessica's foray into art and Vivi's support, she's getting better at controlling her anger. The girls have a lovely two or so years together when Vivi dies unexpectedly.
The Meaning of Birds was a lovely, heartbreaking story. Told in a series of back and forth between past (all through their relationship), and present (after Vivi's death), the author paints a real picture of grief.
The precise time stamps on the chapters didn't do a lot for me. The "Before" and "After" was enough to go on, the rest was unnecessary and I mostly ignored it. There were some problematic things in here, mostly with the side characters, but the main story was very good. I'd still recommend this one, for sure.
Jessica has anger issues, that probably stem from her dad's death. She's trying to get a handle on them, but it's just so hard. Enter Vivi. Vivi moves to their town and Jessica is instantly smitten. What's more, between Jessica's foray into art and Vivi's support, she's getting better at controlling her anger. The girls have a lovely two or so years together when Vivi dies unexpectedly.
The Meaning of Birds was a lovely, heartbreaking story. Told in a series of back and forth between past (all through their relationship), and present (after Vivi's death), the author paints a real picture of grief.
The precise time stamps on the chapters didn't do a lot for me. The "Before" and "After" was enough to go on, the rest was unnecessary and I mostly ignored it. There were some problematic things in here, mostly with the side characters, but the main story was very good. I'd still recommend this one, for sure.
At first I thought the cover was really pretty but then the more I looked at it/the more I read the actual book the more it all made me want to puke :/ sooooo boring and annoying
Jess has anger issues. Her father died when she was in middle school and she immediately began acting out - fighting was the way she coped. But with some therapy and patience, she started to straighten out. Then she met Vivi. Vivi was bright and filled with positivity, and wanted nothing but the best for Jess. She encouraged her to draw, and Jess now felt like she had a purpose - they were going to go to college together and she would pursue a degree in art. But then the unthinkable happened and Vivi died unexpectedly. Jess immediately regressed to her old self, pushed away her friends, started to get into fights again, and threw away her art. She couldn't create if Vivi wasn't around. But when she enrolled in a work study program with a metal worker, she found her passion once again.
Jess does have many issues and she sometimes does a good job controlling them. But she has a lovely relationship with Vivi who is almost too good to be true. She's what we should all be and then it's all too much for Jess when she dies. I couldn't understand why she would want to give up her art - it's what made her closer to Vivi - and I thought if it were me, I might be too depressed to make art, but I wouldn't throw it away because it made me think of her. And I didn't like some of her choices - she went on a 'date' weeks after the love of her life died. That would never happen. And she made many bad choices - was that from immaturity or grief? A good book about processing your feelings and ultimately making the right choices for yourself.
Jess does have many issues and she sometimes does a good job controlling them. But she has a lovely relationship with Vivi who is almost too good to be true. She's what we should all be and then it's all too much for Jess when she dies. I couldn't understand why she would want to give up her art - it's what made her closer to Vivi - and I thought if it were me, I might be too depressed to make art, but I wouldn't throw it away because it made me think of her. And I didn't like some of her choices - she went on a 'date' weeks after the love of her life died. That would never happen. And she made many bad choices - was that from immaturity or grief? A good book about processing your feelings and ultimately making the right choices for yourself.
Another raw and emotional story from one of my favorite queer authors, dealing with grief, loss, and love. Brown really knows all the right buttons to press in order to pull all of that emotion out of you. I love her writing and always will. The only reason this isn’t a five star is because I didn’t like some of the things Jess did, even if it was realistic (mostly I didn’t actually like how she treated Vivi and felt like it wasn’t truly addressed enough)