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bookish_jlp's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0
A lush exploration of love, loss, grief, and finding oneself again in the places and foods that come after.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cancer, Death of parent, Grief, and Terminal illness
Minor: Infidelity and Abortion
kaylaswhitmore's review
challenging
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0
I may just be biased, since I am also a Korean-American woman who grew up in Eugene, Oregon…but this memoir is certainly a gift to all who read it, and especially children of Asian immigrants. Words can’t quite describe the bizarre, surreal experience I had reading Michelle’s recollections. In between reeling emotionally from the similarities between her mother and my own, I would find myself blinking as familiar staples of my Eugene hometown popped up on every other page. Though my childhood and relationship to my mother is still quite different from Michelle’s, there were still so many things that struck me as familiar—like a funhouse mirror. Her use of emotion to paint such vivid pictures of the intangible truly drew me in and held me from the very first chapter. Someday, when the ache of her loss and the fear of losing my own mother fades, I will return to this book and reread it anew. For now, I’ll sit here in silence for a bit and cry lol.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cancer, Fatphobia, Grief, Terminal illness, Chronic illness, Death, Death of parent, Drug use, Medical trauma, Medical content, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Addiction, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Cursing, Car accident, Infidelity, and Body shaming
Minor: Vomit
khiggins2's review
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cancer, Death of parent, and Grief
Minor: Infidelity, Abortion, and Racism
bethsreading's review against another edition
emotional
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
This is a gorgeously written and heartbreaking memoir exploring the depths of family, grief, and trying to exist as yourself. Truly beautiful.
(I do not give star ratings for memoirs)
(I do not give star ratings for memoirs)
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Medical trauma, Grief, Vomit, Cancer, Alcoholism, Death of parent, and Medical content
Moderate: Mental illness, Infidelity, Excrement, Abortion, and Racism
ruffian23's review against another edition
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Grief, Death of parent, Cancer, Medical content, Terminal illness, and Death
Minor: Car accident, Abortion, Infidelity, and Alcoholism
20sidedbi's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
reflective
sad
slow-paced
Content Warnings
Graphic: Grief, Death of parent, Cancer, Chronic illness, and Terminal illness
Minor: Racism, Car accident, Addiction, Alcohol, and Infidelity
ceruleanseas's review
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Terminal illness, Death of parent, Cancer, and Grief
Moderate: Alcohol and Medical content
Minor: Cursing, Abortion, and Infidelity
booksanna's review
dark
emotional
inspiring
reflective
sad
slow-paced
5.0
I will preface this review by saying that memoirs are not typically my repertoire, yet this book dragged me out of a severe case of a reading slump. Firstly, the author’s beautiful writing provides soothing comforting and ever so meaningful story of her life. I especially enjoyed how she blended food with other themes of her life. As an immigrant myself, this book was a deep relieving sign of breath, and a nice warming cup of soup. For a book with only 200 pages, it could not have been more meaningfully written. The author’s eloquent writing captivated my mind and my mouth water with all of the appealing descriptions of foods. The story of overcoming grief and overcoming disassociation with your culture truly inspired deep thought in me. This book was truly wonderful, and I am so happy that I gave a chance. You should too.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cancer, Terminal illness, and Death of parent
Moderate: Body shaming and Bullying
Minor: Abortion, Car accident, Violence, Infidelity, Medical content, and Alcohol
toastyghosty13's review
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
fast-paced
4.0
I went into this book having heard that it was about the experiences (both good and bad) of an American woman of half Korean half White descent. I expected this to be more about the racial injustices thrown her way or how she had to deal with finding her identity and sense of belonging while navigating being "too white to be korean, or too korean to be white". Although I would have been interested in reading the former, I was very surprised at what this book fully encompassed. This book is a love letter to a very strict parent that wanted the best for their child, even if their relationship was destroyed while raising them.
The only mistake I made in opening this book was to choose to read it while visiting my parents during Thanksgiving break; it made me even more sentimental and concerned for their health and well being. While I do not condone some of the rhetoric between Michelle and her mother, Michelle loved her mother and this book made me be more aware of the love I constantly have for my parents no matter what.
Michelle's relationship with her mother was tumultuous while growing up.They were constantly getting into fights about school, and how she wished her mother was more "motherly"; an example of which she compared to how her mother once yelled at her for climbing a tree and then falling off, then berating her because she scraped herself in the process. Eventually, their relationship was torn apart around the time of Michelle being in high school, where she nearly failed out of school and had admitted to wanting to write music instead of attending college. Her mother let her live on her own to try out the "starving artist" lifestyle while barely out of high school. They even got into a physical fight, where her mother told her she got an abortion so she wouldn't have another child because Michelle was so rotten. Michelle eventually got into a college on the other side of the country, Bryn Mawr, and moved to the east coast. This gave them the breathing room they desperately needed.
Michelle eventually found out that her mother had found cancerous (or similar enough to cancerous) tumors in her stomach. This changed the dynamic of their relationship immediately. The majority of this book revolves around the love she feels for her mother, and how she did everything she could to help take care of her and make the last years of her life happy and filled with joy and experiences before her death. They went on trips to Korea, cooked together, watched k-dramas and tv shows pirated from the local asian grocery mart. Michelle did the best that she could to give her mother as happy of an ending as possible.
This book is a love letter to her mother, but also a critical analysis of her father.She acknowledges that her father could have done so much more for her and her mother. He had a rough upbringing due to his fathers active combat PTSD, and had a history of addiction. He also cheated on his wife long before she grew sick, with Michelle discovering on their original family computer ads and correspondences for escorts for hire. Her father had a problem with driving under the influence consistently, and even totaled his car at the end of the book. He unfairly put a lot of his emotional weight onto Michelle with her mothers passing, when they should have been leaning on each other equally.
Between all of this, Michelle does recount her experiences of trying to find a place of belonging, although not as majorly as the content on her parents. She discusses feeling like an outside in different communities because she is too far from the norm for any of them, "too korean or too white". It was heartbreaking to read about how she was very alone in a lot of this until her adult years where she forged meaningful relationships with bandmates and her significant other, Peter. It made me so so happy that Peter was as supportive as he was. He hung in there through all of Michelle taking care of her mother, and their life choices like school and jobs plunging them into long distance. I did long distance with my now fiance for years, it was incredibly difficult but worth it in the end. It seems to have worked out for Michelle and Peter as well, since they got married right before her mothers death so that she could attend the wedding.
The ending of this book had a nice turn around where Michelle talks about her success in later years. Her music has granted her some limelight, and she even starts touring internationally. This book comes to a close following her tour and how the last show is in Korea near some relatives. She is able to go there and it almost feels as if she has some closure, being able to live her dreams creating music and spending time with those she loves.
This book is beautifully written. It will make you ugly cry and put you in a horrible mood the entire time but it is completely worth it. It reminds you of how the relationships with the ones you love most, whether they are blood family or found, are the most important thing even through some of the hardships (obviously not all hardships).
The only mistake I made in opening this book was to choose to read it while visiting my parents during Thanksgiving break; it made me even more sentimental and concerned for their health and well being. While I do not condone some of the rhetoric between Michelle and her mother, Michelle loved her mother and this book made me be more aware of the love I constantly have for my parents no matter what.
Michelle's relationship with her mother was tumultuous while growing up.
Michelle eventually found out that her mother had
This book is a love letter to her mother, but also a critical analysis of her father.
Between all of this, Michelle does recount her experiences of trying to find a place of belonging, although not as majorly as the content on her parents. She discusses feeling like an outside in different communities because she is too far from the norm for any of them, "too korean or too white". It was heartbreaking to read about how she was very alone in a lot of this until her adult years where she forged meaningful relationships with bandmates and her significant other, Peter. It made me so so happy that Peter was as supportive as he was. He hung in there through all of Michelle taking care of her mother, and their life choices like school and jobs plunging them into long distance. I did long distance with my now fiance for years, it was incredibly difficult but worth it in the end. It seems to have worked out for Michelle and Peter as well, since they got married right before her mothers death so that she could attend the wedding.
The ending of this book had a nice turn around where Michelle talks about her success in later years. Her music has granted her some limelight, and she even starts touring internationally. This book comes to a close following her tour and how the last show is in Korea near some relatives. She is able to go there and it almost feels as if she has some closure, being able to live her dreams creating music and spending time with those she loves.
This book is beautifully written. It will make you ugly cry and put you in a horrible mood the entire time but it is completely worth it. It reminds you of how the relationships with the ones you love most, whether they are blood family or found, are the most important thing even through some of the hardships (obviously not all hardships).
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death of parent, Cancer, Death, and Medical content
Moderate: Drug abuse, Car accident, Racism, Xenophobia, Toxic relationship, Drug use, and Infidelity
Minor: Abortion, Vomit, and Excrement
mmalone's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
fast-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Medical content, Bullying, Cancer, Body shaming, Death of parent, Grief, Infidelity, and Car accident